Loud, Loudd n Louder
by Mr. Animator
Summary: My second fanfiction of parodies is now here. This time it's Ed Edd n Eddy, the trio of boys with the same name. I will gather up the best of episodes you enjoy from the show. Also, if you have a suggestion you can leave a review.
1. Chapter 1: Sir Loud a Lot

**Welcome to a new installment of parodies! As you can see, it's Ed Edd n Eddy. I think The Loud House will make a great Ed Edd n Eddy parody. It looks like someone else thought of this idea before me because there was fanfic titled Leni Luna n Lincoln, but I think their account expired so I didn't get to read it. I'm looking forward to making this Loud House/EEnE fanfic. I hope you enjoy this new series of parodies, starting off with the first chapter which is based off the episode: Sir Ed a Lot. Enjoy!**

It's a nice Saturday at the Loud House. Lincoln is in the front yard washing Vanzilla with a sponge. He's wearing sunglasses too. Lincoln wanted to make the van look cooler so he added some bumper stickers and painted flames on it.

"I'm the man with the van." Lincoln said to himself.

Rusty walks by.

"Hey Rusty." Lincoln greeted.

"Hey Lincoln. Nice van." Rusty said.

Next Liam comes by as Lincoln gets done washing the car.

"Howdy Lincoln, mind if we race your van through a mud pit?"

"Hah. Good one Liam." Lincoln said. Liam left.

Next Girl Jordan and Chandler walked up to the van. Lincoln was inside pretending to drive it. He opened the window.

"Hi Jordan."

"Hi Lincoln. Cool van." Jordan commented.

"Hey loser. I know this isn't your van." Chandler said.

Lincoln rolled up the window and ignored Chandler. He turned on some loud music. Girl Jordan and Chandler covered their ears and ran off. Lincoln turned off the music. Rita had heard they music and came out.

"Honey, What are you doing and what have you done to Vanzilla?"

"I just wanted to make it look cooler so my friends would be impressed." Lincoln said and gets out of the car.

"Well, I have to go to work. Your older sisters are gonna be out doing their activities, except for Leni who agreed to look after your younger sisters. You can look after them too."

"Sure Mom. I've got no plans right now so I guess I could do that."

"Good. I knew I could trust you."

Soon, the older sisters (except Leni) come out. They are surprised when they see Vanzilla.

"Wow. Vanzilla looks awesome Mom." Luna said.

"Lincoln did this." Rita said. "I'm gonna take all this stuff off later. Now get in the car girls."

Rita and the sisters get in.

"Love what you've done with the van bro." Luna said.

Lincoln waved goodbye to them and headed inside. Lisa walked up to him.

"Greetings elder brother. I have just put Lily down for a nap and our elder sister Leni is joining in a royal festivity." Lisa said.

"But I thought Leni stayed home." Lincoln said.

"She did. In other words, she's having a tea party with Lola in the dining room." Lisa explained.

Lincoln and Lisa headed into the dining room and saw Leni sitting at the table. She was wearing a long dress and had on a tiara. Also sitting at the table were Lola's stuffed animals.

"Leni, that's a nice dress you're wearing." Lincoln complimented.

"Thanks. Did you guys get invited to the party?" Leni said.

"Invited?"

Just then, Lola came in. "Hey, nobody can join my tea party without dressing up!"

"Forget that." Lincoln said.

"It's my way or the highway!" Lola said. She then began to hold her breath with her cheeks puffed out.

"Hah. Good luck." Lincoln said.

"Lola, stop it." Leni said.

"Look. She's changing colors."

Lola's face started to turn different colors and her cheeks inflated even more.

"Please Lincoln, she's gonna blow up!" Leni begged.

"Cut it out Lola."

"Lincoln, just put on the dress!"

"No way Leni!"

Lola started to leak tears.

"She's leaking Lincoln! Lola, don't blow up!"

"Alright, I'll wear the dang-"

Lola got out a dress for Lincoln. "Here you go!"

Now Lincoln, Leni, Lisa, and the stuffed animals were all sitting at the dining table with Lola.

"I am the queen and you are my servants." Lola stated. "Now-

"Cute hat Linky." Leni complimented.

Lincoln was now wearing a dress over his usual attire and had on some kind of straw hat. Lincoln just growled. Lisa was wearing a green dress.

"As I was saying, I AM THE QUEEN!" Lola yelled banging her fists on the table.

"And we're your servants." Leni said.

"Next thing you know she's gonna want a throne." Lincoln complained.

Soon, Lola was sitting on top of a pile of chairs, making it look like a throne.

"A toast to my big mouth." Lincoln said holding a cup of tea.

Then Lana showed up wearing knight's armor. Leni went to give her a welcoming. "Presenting the honorable Knight Lana!"

"Knight Lana has arrived!" Lola cheered. "Let the games begin!"

"Games?" Lisa questioned.

"Yay!" Lana cheered.

Now the siblings were outside. Leni, Lisa and Lincoln were now wearing their usual clothes. They were having a horse race with Lincoln and Leni as the horses and the twins riding on them. They had to race to the backyard and then back to the front yard where the starting line and finish are.

"I'm a horse." Leni said.

"Good for you Leni." Lincoln said.

"Hey, you better win!" Lola said.

Lisa took a deep breath and blew a trumpet, meaning the race has started.

"Go!" Lola yelled and kicked Lincoln. Lincoln was first to take off. Leni took off as well. Lincoln went to the backyard and Leni catches up to him. She got ahead of Lincoln. They ran back to the front yard where Lisa was waving a flag. It looked like it was gonna be a tie but Leni crosses the finish line a few inches before Lincoln.

"Knight Lana has won!" Lisa said.

"You've lost horsey! Bad! Bad! Bad!" Lola scolded Lincoln.

Lincoln got up and threw Lola off.

"This stinks!"

"You're going to the dungeon!" Lola said.

"Ooh, the dungeon. I'm so scared!" Lincoln said sarcastically and started laughing.

Just then, Lana lassoed Lincoln and dragged him into a cage. She then closed it.

"Sorry Lincoln." She said.

"Wait, where did this come from?" Lincoln wondered. "Lisa! Leni! Lemme Out Of here!"

"Bring me my fool!" Lola demanded.

"Ok." Leni said.

"Spoiled brat." Lincoln said angrily.

"Come on Linky, play along." Leni let Lincoln out of the cage. "Here's your fool!"

"No way!" Lincoln protested but Leni gave him a jester's hat.

"Lincoln will make a great fool."

"I said no!"

"Bad babysitter! I'm telling Mom you left me all alone!" Lola said.

"But I won't get paid. I wanted to buy that new outfit at the mall!" Leni said upset.

"Wait, you're getting paid?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm here for you Leni."

The siblings were now back inside the house in the living room. Lola and Lana were sitting on the couch. Lisa blows the trumpet.

"This is fun!" Lana said.

Lincoln came in the living room wearing the jester hat and decided to entertain the twins.

"I just flew in from Royal Woods and boy-

"Are you stupid." Lola mocked.

"So why did the chicken cross the road?"

"To lay an egg just like you are now!"

Lincoln then got out a puppet version of himself. "Hey Linko, got any jokes?

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Queen."

"Queen who?"

"Queen your room. It's filthy."

"You stink!" Lola yelled in Lincoln's face.

"She has no taste." Lincoln said to Leni. "This is a job for Luan."

"Don't give up now Lincoln." Leni said.

"Ok. I'll use what I've learned from Luan."

Lincoln gets out a magician's hat and pulls out Lisa from inside.

"Ta da!"

Lola throws a tomato at him. Leni gives Lincoln a bunch of sport balls that are owned by Lynn.

"Here Lincoln. Juggle this stuff. I'll get more."

"More?" Lincoln just went with juggling to impress the twins.

"Yay! Juggling!" Lana cheered.

"Boring." Lola said.

As Lincoln was juggling, Leni gave him more stuff to juggle. Like a drawer, a chair, Lincoln's video game system, Lisa, and a cactus. The cactus was a mistake.

"YOW!!" Lincoln had the cactus in his hand. As he screamed in pain, all the stuff began to rain down. Leni went to catch some of the items. Luckily, she was able to catch Lincoln's game system. A drawer landed on Lisa. She opened the drawer from inside and came out. Lola found all this amusing and was laughing, along with Lana. Lincoln finally got the cactus off his hand.

"That's more like it!" Lola said. She was about to throw a couch cushion.

"Lola, don't throw stuff!" Leni scolded.

Lola threw the cushion at Leni. Lola threw another cushion but Leni caught it this time. Then she slipped on Lynn's bowling ball. The twins began to throw more stuff. Lola threw a fan and Lincoln caught it. Lana threw a box and Lisa got crushed by it.

"Come on Lana." Lola said.

Leni got the box off Lisa. Lincoln went to stop the twins.

"Stop you two!"

He leapt at then but they moved out of the way. Leni jumped onto Lincoln.

"There they go!" Leni pointed. The twins ran upstairs.

Lana picked up a vase and threw it in the air and Lola threw a drawer. They ran off. Lincoln and Leni came upstairs. The vase landed on Lincoln and the drawer on Leni.

"Stop them Lisa!" Lincoln yelled.

The twins just ran right past Lisa, leaving her dazed. Lola broke another vase. The other three went downstairs.

"You guys!" Leni called.

"This is not good." Lisa said.

"My money!" Lincoln said.

The twins were jumping on the couch. Lola grabbed a painting and threw it and Lana threw another vase. Lincoln went to grab the painting but he bumped into Lisa. Lisa grabbed the painting and Lincoln grabbed the vase. Lola rolled a bowling bowl and Lana was riding on a vacuum cleaner. Lola grabbed her and ran off.

Leni went to grab the ball. She steps on it and has to run to keep balance on it. She gets hit by the vacuum cleaner. Lincoln goes to get the vase but slips on the bowling bowl. Lisa jumps on Lincoln and grabs the vase. The vacuum cleaner, with Leni still on it, bump into Lisa and Lincoln. It was strong enough to suck all of them inside. The vacuum tried to suck in the painting but it wouldn't fit and the vacuum exploded. Now the living room was a complete mess. Leni, Lisa and Lincoln got up.

"Oh man, look at this place." Lincoln said.

"We've gotta Stop the twins!" Leni said.

"Think Lincoln, think." He gets an idea. "I've got it."

The twins were in their room having a pillow fight. They heard the trumpet and went downstairs to see Lisa blowing it.

"All hail the great King Lincoln." Lisa announced.

Lincoln was now sitting on the tower of chairs and had on a crown. "Thanks squire."

"King?!" Lola yelled angrily. "There is no king! I'm the queen!"

"Yeah right." Lincoln said and pulled on a rope which dropped down the cage that Lincoln got trapped in earlier.

"My queen!" Lana cried and hide under the couch.

"I am the QUEEN!" Lola barked.

"You're a twerp." Lincoln said.

"Guys, Mom's gonna kill us. We gotta get this place cleaned up." Leni said.

"I have a solution." Lucy said appearing out of nowhere. Leni, Lisa, and Lincoln got startled.

"Lucy? Where have you been?" Lincoln asked.

"I was in my room writing poems in my coffin."

"Ok...So what's your solution?" Lisa asked.

"I've been working on a new spell. It might clean up the house." Lucy said.

Lucy chanted a spell and it cleaned up the whole living room. Even fixing the broken tv.

"Good job Lucy." Lincoln said.

"That's a once a month spell by the way." Lucy said and went back upstairs.

Lincoln went up to the Lola. "Lola, I'll let you out if you promise to behave yourself. That goes for you too Lana."

"Ok." Lola agreed. Lana came out from under the couch.

"But I still get to be queen." Lola said.

"Yeah sure." Lincoln said.

Soon, the sisters and Mom came home. Lincoln, Lola, Lana, and Leni were sitting on the couch watching tv. Lana was now out of her armor.

"Hey kids, how did things go?" Rita asked.

"They went pretty well." Lincoln said with the twins smiling innocently.

"Oh good."

"Yeah, you actually kept the living room clean." Lori said.

"Well, actually, we-" Leni began to say but Lana nudged her.

"Everything was under control thanks to Lincoln and Leni." Lana said.

"Well, looks like you two will be getting paid." Rita said. "Here you go. Ten bucks for each of you."

Rita gave Lincoln and Leni ten bucks.

"Thanks." Lincoln said.

Rita and the sisters left.

"Well, that was close." Lincoln said. "I wasn't sure if we were gonna get away with this but we did."

"But Lincoln, now we need a new sucky thingy." Leni said holding a remaining piece of a vacuum cleaner.

"Aw man." Lincoln said.


	2. Chapter 2: One plus One equals Loud

**Parody of One plus One equals Ed**

It's nighttime. In Lori and Leni's room, Lori is sleeping comfortably but senses Leni in her bed. She wakes up.

"Leni, what are you doing in my bed?"

"I can't sleep Lori." Leni said. "I keep thinking how can my feet smell if they don't have a nose."

"Leni." Lori said calmly before her tone changed. "Get out of my bed!"

She kicks Leni off.

"Why don't cell phones have buttons?" Leni asked holding her cell phone.

"Leni, I'm trying to sleep! I was dreaming about Bobby!" Lori said.

"Lori, why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter?" Leni said.

Lori growled and stormed downstairs with a pillow and blanket. She went to sleep in the kitchen. It was 3:15. Leni has followed her and was messing with the fridge.

"Lori, when you close the fridge door does the little light stay on?" She asked opening and closing the fridge.

"Go away!" Lori snapped.

"Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light." Leni continues to open and close the fridge door until it was morning. Lori barely got any sleep. She had bags under her eyes.

"Lori, if carrots are good for your eyes, can they dial a phone?" Leni wondered.

"If you're going to strain your peanut brain, think of something more important." Lori suggested. "Like how many text messages you should send a day."

"Lori, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah?"

"Uh...go talk to Lisa." Lori said, ignoring Leni's dumb question.

"Ok." Leni said.

In Lisa and Lily's room, Lisa was doing some kind of nerdy experiment. Lincoln was there watching because he needed help with his class assignment about life in space. Lisa was looking through her new telescope invention. In it, she could see into space. Then she saw something she never saw before.

"Intriguing."

"What is it?" Lincoln asked.

"My dear brother, I have just discovered a new planet."

"Really? Lemme see." Lincoln looks through the telescope. "Wow. Wait til I tell my class about this."

Just then, Leni barged in. "Hey guys!"

Lisa and Lincoln got startled.

"Geez Leni, don't do that." Lincoln said.

"Ow. My rib." Lisa groaned.

Leni grabbed Lisa's telescope and swung it like a bat. "What kind of baseball bat is this?"

Lisa snatched it. "It's not a bat you ninny. It's a highly advanced telescope that allows the user to see into space."

"Wow Lisa, you sure know a lot about stuff."

"Yeah, think how if we knew everything we'd be so famous." Lisa said.

"And rich!" Lincoln said.

"Like potato salad?" Leni asked.

"We could own more stuff than ever. I see a bunch of Ace Savvy figurines. Now I want to learn more!" Lincoln said.

"That's the spirit! Let's get educated!" Lisa cheered. "Let's start our quest of knowledge outside."

"We're gonna be eggheads! Rich eggheads!" Lincoln said excitedly.

"Why would you want an egg for a head?" Leni wondered.

Now the three kids were in the backyard where they had some stuff laying around.

"What's all this stuff doing here?" Lincoln asked.

"The garage was getting cramped so Dad had to move some stuff out." Leni explained.

"So where do you suppose we begin?" Lisa asked.

"I know! Let's take this apart!" Leni got out a mini oven and took out the parts. "Here's all the thingies. I took it apart Lisa. Am I smart now?"

"Let's not ask for miracles Leni." Lisa said taking notes.

"What else is there?" Lincoln asked.

"I found this thing." Leni pulled out some kind of mixer.

"I believe that's a cooking mixer." Lisa said.

"Let's see what makes this old dresser tick." Lincoln said and opened a dresser. He found a bra inside. "Woo hoo! PG 13!"

"That's Mom's Lincoln." Leni said.

Lincoln was disgusted and dropped the bra. Lisa giggles.

"I haven't learned anything. Come on, let's find some more stuff." Lincoln said walking off. Lisa and Leni followed.

The siblings then head over to Liam's barn. Liam is at the chicken coop.

"Alright Jennifer, I need some more eggs for breakfast." Liam said.

Jennifer made more eggs but she aimed them right at Liam, covering him in egg yolk.

Liam sighs. "I hate it when you do that."

Liam wiped the yolk off himself. Then he noticed Lisa, Leni, and Lincoln.

"The plywood of this coop has some very unusual characteristics." Lisa noted.

"Wow. Wood." Lincoln said.

Leni petted a chicken.

"Hey! What're y'all doing?" Liam asked.

"We're trying to solve the mysteries of life." Lisa stated.

"This reminds me of a fable back in my home country." Liam said. "The story of the ugly cowboy and the tree of heads."

"Yeah, that's great Liam. It's been swell but we're kinda busy here so-." Lincoln said starting to leave.

"Let me tell the story." Liam insisted. "Once upon a time an ugly cowboy who was thrown out of his hometown and hit his melon on a tree."

Liam walked to a tree as the others followed. "A tree like this. The boy looked up and was amazed at the many beautiful heads growing from its branches."

Liam stuffed his head in a melon. "After many tries-

Liam takes the melon off and his head is missing.

"What the-" Lincoln said shocked.

Liam pops his head out of his shirt. "He found one that fit and ran back to the town and became very popular."

"So like you can get a new head from this tree?" Leni asked and went to the tree. She felt the lightweight of the tree and lifted it. It turns out the tree was flat.

"What a discovery!" Lisa said amazed. "It's flat as cardboard."

"Let me see that!" Lincoln grabbed the tree but it fell on him. "Ow!"

"Heavy in weight. Got it! Thank you Lincoln!" Lisa said writing down more notes.

Lincoln came up through the flat tree and ran to the top as the tree was leaning against the fence. "You guys gotta see this!"

Suddenly the tree fell over the fence with Lincoln.

"We better go see if he's ok." Leni told Leni. The two sisters took off.

Liam looked at the flat tree. "I reckon I must be losing my mind."

Lincoln went down the neighborhood. He saw a background house and lifted it. "Man, I feel like a giant. Look at this."

"Einstein's got nothing on this!" Lisa said. "What a discovery! I'm speechless! I mean this is an absolute coup! The displacement of perspective! Th-"

Lincoln covered Lisa's mouth. "I thought you were speechless."

Leni ran up to her siblings but she tripped and slid under the road like it was a carpet. "Ooh! Check out this carpet guys!"

Lisa wrote notes. "The pavement has adapted fabric like qualities! Interesting."

Lincoln was standing on the small house and it broke into pieces. "I say we take a break. All this learning is making me hungry."

Lincoln was standing close to the sun. He hand went right through it. "Did you see that? Weird. Oh well, can't beat em, eat em."

Lincoln took a bite out of the sun and it instantly turned nighttime. Now the sun turned into the moon. "Not bad."

Clyde was walking through the neighborhood and noticed it had gone dark all of a sudden. "What the? It's night already."

"Hi Clyde." Leni greeted. Lincoln and Lisa came over.

"Guys, What just happened?" Clyde asked worried.

"Relax buddy, we're just figuring out how stuff works." Lincoln said. Then he noticed a thread on Clyde's shirt.

"A thread." He pulls it and Clyde's shirt disappears. The thread is now on his skin.

"What the-"Lincoln pulls on it and removes Clyde's outline. "Cool."

"Is that Clyde's outline?" Lisa asked fascinated.

"You bet. It's fun to play with with." Lincoln said as he stretched it out of shape.

Clyde started to melt and his liquid went into a sewer. "Uh guys? Dang it."

Lincoln continued to play with Clyde's outline.

"Don't aggravate it Lincoln." Lisa said.

Lincoln turned it into a wig and wore it. "Like my new hairdo Lisa?"

Lisa giggled. "It suits you Lincoln."

Leni was sawing a hole in the sky. "This is fun."

After the hole was done, the cover fell off revealing Aunt Ruth in a bathrobe.

"Aah!" Leni screamed.

"Leni, give your auntie a foot rub." Aunt Ruth said showing her disgusting feet.

Terrified, Leni pushes the circle away.

"What was our aunt?" Lincoln asked. He stepped on the hole cover and fell through it.

"Lincoln?"

Lincoln fell down from the sky and into the hole over and over.

"Lincoln? Lincoln? My turn!"

Leni grabbed the hole cover and Lincoln fell down face planted on the ground. Leni stuck her head in the hole and it appeared in another place.

"Look at me!"

Lisa comes over. "Leni, you seemed to have stumbled into another dimension. I feel as though we're getting closer into finding that all important question."

"Are we rich yet?" Lincoln said.

"Can we go to the mall?" Leni said. She had twisted the hole.

Just then Lola came out of the hole.

"Hey you guys!"

"Lola?"

"I found Clyde all melted. What are you guys up to?" She said holding Clyde in a pitcher.

"Don't spill me." Clyde said.

"We're doing something important here." Lincoln explained. "But you can help us out."

"Help with what?"

Lincoln lifted up Lola and started to run in place. He came out of his running legs and put Lola in them.

"Lincoln! You twit!"

Lola zoomed off with Clyde.

"Thanks for the help Lola! See ya later!" Lincoln yelled.

"That was mean Lincoln." Leni said.

"Maybe. But I wanted to test that out on someone."

"We could very well be the next cover story of Intellectual Discoveries magazine." Lisa said excitedly taking more notes. She looked up and noticed something. "Don't Look now but there's a cow hovering in the sky somehow."

The others looked up and saw the floating cow. It made a rooster sound.

"I feel uncomfortable." Lisa said. "Pardon me."

Lisa ran off.

"Wait for me Lisa." Lincoln followed her and Leni followed too.

Now the world around them was very bizarre. The sky looked different. The roads were all zigzagged and there were places and things floating in the sky. Lincoln caught up to Lisa.

"Lisa, we've learned into fortune."

"Don't let the excitement spoil your grammar Lincoln." Lisa said taking notes.

"Look around us! We've gotta be rich!"

Suddenly, Lola popped out of a house. "Everything's broken! Fix it now!"

"Shut your mouth Lola! Or better yet, get rid of it." Lincoln took off Lola's mouth. "I love taking things apart."

Lola's mouth bites Lincoln. "Ah! Get her off me Lisa!"

"Not a chance." Lisa replied.

"Lola!"

Lola floated off. As the scene started to change differently.

"Hello. An original scene transition. Interesting." Lisa noted.

Now it was pitch black. Lincoln, Lisa, and Leni's eyes could be seen.

"Did you eat the sun again Lincoln?" Lisa asked.

"Can you guess what I'm doing?" Leni asked.

"Get off my foot Leni." Lincoln said.

"I think we're moving guys." Lisa said.

We zoom out to see Lynn riding a bicycle in the air. She was floating off into space. "Why do I hear Lincoln, Leni and Lisa? Come out and show yourselves!"

Dust covers the screen. After it clears, we see Leni sitting on a chair that is floating in the sky. "Ooh! A scarf!" She pulled on a skinny cloud.

Lisa is walking down some steps. We see some jigsaw puzzle pieces in the background. "Careful Leni, you don't where that's been."

"It's right here Lisa."

"Hey Lisa." Lisa turned around and was surprised to see Luan's head being carried by her body. Now she had Mr. Coconuts head on her body. "Me and Mr. Coconuts have a comedy gig to perform."

Next came Ronnie Anne and Lana. But Ronnie Anne had a dog's body and Lana had a frog's body.

"Hey Lisa!" They greeted. "Care to join us?"

Lisa was speechless. Lincoln appears.

"Was that Ronnie Anne?"

They screen turned. Lincoln and Lisa were floating.

"You realize we're floating don't you?" Lisa said before they both dropped to the ground.

"Hi Louds." Liam came out of a curtain which had tv static in the background. Liam appeared with two other heads.

"I reckon there are so many doors." One Head said.

Too much for-" Another Head said.

"Couch potato kids like yourselves." The last head said.

"A three headed Liam. Yawn." Lincoln said unimpressed.

Leni blows a cloud up like a balloon and it inflates. "Yay! Balloon ride!" She begins to float with the cloud.

"Leni, What are you doing?" Lincoln asked.

"The story's not over." All three Liams said.

Lisa grabs onto a floating Leni. Lincoln grabs onto Lisa. They all floated off.

"How's he put on a hat? Are we rich yet Lisa?" Lincoln said.

"It's all become very complicated Lincoln." Lisa stated.

"What're you giving me? All we have to do is read your notes and we'll be up to our necks in cash."

"Uh Guys, like, how do we get down?" Leni asked.

The cloud reached a pencil which caused the cloud balloon to pop. The kids fell to the ground. Lisa's notes scattered everywhere.

"My notes!"

We cut back to reality and the rest of the Louds are staring at Lincoln, Lisa, and Leni, including Clyde too. They are back in their neighborhood and everything is normal again. Lincoln, Lisa and Leni were picking up the notes.

"What are you guys doing?" Lori asked.

"Uh Nothing." Lincoln, Leni and Lisa said.

"You're literally being weird."

"Can't we all just get along?" Clyde said.

Leni went to Clyde. "Clyde, you got your outline back! Is it on wrong?"

"Leni, what's wrong with you?" Lola said.

"Lola, take your mouth off again." Leni said and started to pull on Lola's mouth.

"Has Leni lost it?" Lana questioned.

"I think it's stuck!" Leni said continuing to pull on Lola's mouth.

"Um Leni?" Lincoln started to say.

Lola pushed Leni off of her.

"Lola's mad."

Lola roared in anger.

"Run for it!" Lincoln panicked.

"Wait til I get my hands on you!" Lola yelled.

Lincoln, Leni, and Lisa ran down the neighborhood as the little blondie chased after them.


	3. Chapter 3: A Glass of Warm Loud

**Parody of A Glass Of Warm Ed**

It's 1:30 AM. Lincoln is in his room sleeping. He is suddenly awoken by a sound from outside his room. He opens his door and goes out to find Lisa and Lucy awake.

"Guys, What was that sound?" He asked.

"I'm not sure. It came from downstairs." Lucy said.

"I've got a cactus for protection. Let's investigate." Lisa said.

The three kids walked downstairs. They saw a light in the kitchen.

"Someone's in the kitchen." Lincoln said.

They took a peek and saw the fridge open. Someone was eating food but the person could not be seen clearly.

"An intruder eating out of our fridge. In bare feet! So unsanitary!" Lisa whispered frightened.

The kids looked in the kitchen again but saw the person was gone.

"Huh?" Lisa walked to the fridge and heard a sound. The others followed. "I've got a cactus!"

"Guys, look!" Lucy pointed to the fridge drawer. They all heard a sound coming from it. Lisa slowly went to open the drawer. She opened it and Lynn Jr. popped out eating a sausage. Her eyes were closed.

"AH!!!" The other kids screamed but then they realized.

"Lynn? You nearly scared us out of our skin!" Lisa scolded. "Do you know what time it is?"

Lynn grabbed a jar of pickles and gulped them down.

"Um Lynn?" Lincoln said.

Lynn came close to Lisa. Lisa held up the cactus.

"Don't make me use this!" Lynn took a bite out of Lisa's cactus.

"You ate my cactus! It had feelings just like you-"

Lynn walked out of the kitchen with more food.

"Lynn, wake up! I'm talking to you." Lucy said.

Lynn walked out the front door and left.

"Lynn! Where are you going?" Lincoln called.

The other siblings (except Lily) were awoken by the commotion and came downstairs.

"What is going on down here? I'm trying to get my beauty sleep!" Lola snapped.

"Oh good. You guys are awake." Lincoln said. "Come look outside!"

"Why?" Lori asked.

"Just come look!"

The others went outside to see Lynn going over to Mr. Grouse's house.

"What's Lynn doing?" Luna asked.

"She's sleepwalking! Lynn went downstairs and started eating from the fridge! We talked to her but she gave us no reaction! I think she's going to invade all the neighbors fridges! We've got to stop her!" Lincoln explained quickly.

"But it's late!" Lola whined.

"Did I mention she took your fudge bar Lola?" Lincoln said.

"My fudge bar! Oh she is so gonna pay!"

"Ok, let's go see what the jock is up too." Lana said.

Lynn was able to get into Mr. Grouse's house through the window. She raided his fridge and started to eat his lasagna. Lynn was now more bloated. The kids found a window that could see Lynn through.

"Man, She sure does have a big appetite." Lana said.

"I hope she doesn't wake Mr. Grouse." Lincoln said. "This isn't good."

"This is rich!" Lola laughed.

"Yeah! I'm gonna sit back and watch the show." Luan got out a lawn chair.

"Me too." Lola sat down in a car too. Luan got out some popcorn and ate some.

"Where'd you get the popcorn?" Leni asked.

"I came prepared?" Luan said.

"You gonna share that?" Lola asked.

The other siblings decided to sit back and watch too. Lynn juggled some olives and ate them.

"That was pretty good." Luan said.

"I didn't know Lynn could juggle." Lucy said.

"Where does she put it all?" Lincoln wondered.

Then they she the fridge knocked over and Lynn has left.

"Where'd she go?"

Mr. Grouse was in his bedroom sleeping until the light is flicked on.

"Wha? Who's there?" Mr. Grouse bolted awake.

Lynn came towards him. In the kitchen, the others siblings got in through the window.

"Do you think Lynn ate herself?" Leni asked.

"I don't think that's possible." Lisa replied.

They then heard the old man shout. They rushed to his room and Lincoln opened the door. They saw Lynn chewing on Mr. Grouse's arm. Lincoln closed the door.

"Lynn has lost it." Lincoln said.

"I'm terrified beyond rational thought." Lisa said nervous. "I can't look."

Lincoln opens the door again. Lynn was gone and Mr. Grouse was rocking back and forth holding his legs, surprised at what just happened.

"Uh, sorry about that Mr. Grouse." Lincoln apologized.

"Phew!" Luna said relieved.

"Let's go. Lynn is still on the loose." Lucy said.

The siblings went back out and saw a trail of food containers and food on the sidewalk.

"Look at all this!" Lincoln exclaimed. "Lynn must have bilked the whole neighborhood of its food."

"Ok. Sleepwalking and eating everyone's food is one thing. But littering!" Lisa complained.

"Check it out guys!" Lana pointed to a box that said "Cinna-muffins" on it. "Lynn ate a whole box of Cinna muffins!"

"She must have got her appetite from Pop Pop's side of the family." Lori said.

"This could be dangerous guys." Lucy said.

"Let's follow this mess and see if we can find her." Lincoln said.

The trail ends up leading them back to their house.

"Oh good. Lynn came back home." Lincoln said relieved.

They go upstairs and go to Lynn and Lucy's room where they see a trail of sausage.

"More sausage." Lucy said.

"Guys look." Lincoln pointed to an overly stuffed Lynn who was sleeping on her bed. She had sausage in her mouth and had a pile of food next to her. Lola snickered and then burst into laughter.

"Lynn seems quite content among all that food." Lisa noted.

"Yeah, like a beached whale." Lori added.

Lola walked over to her and crawled onto her large belly.

"She looks so comfy. Oh Lynn. Lynn." Lola shakes her awake. "Wake up Goldilocks!"

Lynn wakes up and looks at her siblings. "Oh hey. What's up guys?"

Lisa held up her eaten cactus. "Lynn, do you know you walked in your sleep and that you've consumed the neighborhoods food?"

"No, but I sure feel bloated." Lynn said. She noticed the eaten cactus. "What happened to your cactus?"

"Don't you remember anything Lynn?" Lucy asked.

"You were great. You ate everything! You even tried bite Mr. Grouse!" Lola said eating a breadstick from the food pile. "Oh, and you owe me a fudge bar."

Lynn lets out a huge burp. "I feel like I ate a lot. But what if I sleep walk again?"

"Don't worry. I'll make sure to look out for you incase you sleep walk again." Lucy said.

"Alright, back to bed everyone." Lincoln said.

The kids have all gone to sleep. Lucy had tied up Lynn to her bed so she wouldn't escape. But the rope wasn't strong enough to hold her. Lynn walked out and Lucy woke up and noticed.

"Oh no. There she goes." Lucy said.

Lucy went to follow her. Lincoln was up too.

"Lynn's on the loose again?" He asked.

"Yep." Lucy replied.

Lynn made it outside and walked off.

"How can she be so quick with all that food inside her?" Lucy wondered as she and Lincoln made it outside.

Lynn found her skates and skated away.

"I hope she doesn't crash." Lucy said watching her. "How are we gonna stop her?"

"I think I know how to lure her back." Lincoln stated.

Soon, Lynn is at someone else's house raiding their fridge and collecting food. Suddenly, she smelled something that smelled so tasty. She dropped the food and followed the smell. Lucy and Lincoln are walking down the sidewalk as Lincoln is luring Lynn out with a meatball sub tied to a fishing pole.

"I knew Lynn couldn't resist her favorite food." Lincoln said.

"Good thinkin Lincoln." Lucy encouraged.

The two kids lead their older sibling back to the house. They dragged her into Lucy and Lynn's room. Lincoln lead Lynn into Lucy's coffin and shut the door.

"Ok, I think Lynn will be going anywhere until morning." Lincoln said.

"Good work." Lucy said.

The next morning, Mr. Grouse woke up and went to his kitchen. But he was surprised to see his fridge knocked over and some of his food was gone.

"I'm been robbed!" He exclaimed. "They took the lasagna! Not the lasagna!"

At Clyde's House, he and his dads found out their food was on the ground.

"What happened here?" Clyde wondered.

"Either we've been robbed or Cleopatra has been raiding the fridge again." Howard said.

Back at the Loud House, the kids were having breakfast.

"Guys, I'm worried." Lucy said.

"About Lynn?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, not just her. I'm worried the neighbors will find out Lynn took their food. What if she goes to jail?"

"We won't let that happen. We'll have to find a cure for Lynn's sleepwalking." Lincoln said.

"Perhaps Lucy has a spell for this situation?" Lisa suggested.

"I'll look for one." Lucy stated.

"Speaking of Lynn, where is she?" Lana asked.

"She's in the basement exercising. She wanted to lose the extra calories." Lucy explained.

Cuts to Lynn running on a treadmill in the basement. Cuts back to the kitchen.

"Guys, What about all the food Lynn stole? What do we do with it?" Leni asked.

"I say we keep it!" Lola said.

"I have an idea." Lori said.

Later, Lori had the idea to turn Vanzilla into a food truck...or food van. The siblings got the bags of food Lynn collected and were gonna sell them to neighbors. Their first stop was Mr. Grouse's house. Mr. Grouse was outside taking out the trash. He noticed them.

"Louds! I'm been robbed! Were you guys robbed too?"

"No, we weren't but I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Grouse." Lincoln said sticking his head out the window. "We've started a food sale business and were wondering if you wanted to buy anything."

"Well, you wouldn't happen to have-"

"Your lasagna? I mean, lasagna. Sure, we have that." Lori said.

"Great, I'm desperate for some." Mr. Grouse said. He got out his wallet. "How much for two?"

"That'll be ten bucks." Lori said.

In the back of the van, Lucy got out lasagna from the bags. She gave it to Leni. Leni gave them to Lincoln. Lincoln gave them to Mr. Grouse. People started to notice the food van sign and walked over.

"Looks like we have more customers." Lori said.

"Great. This food selling business was a great idea." Lincoln said.

Luna took a bite out of a corn dog but gagged when she found a piece of Lynn's hair on it.


	4. Chapter 4: Dawn of the Louds

**Parody of the episode: Dawn of the Eds**

Clyde, Rusty, and Zach arrive at Lincoln's house. Clyde knocks on the door and Lincoln answers.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Hey Lincoln. We just got our weeks allowance. We're going downtown to buy those Mondo Choco bars." Clyde stated.

"They're like textbook size." Zach said.

"Wanna join us?"

"Yeah. That sounds great. But first, let me get my allowance."

Lincoln goes to his room and gets out his wallet. He opens it to see there was only a few dimes in there.

"What? I swear I had more money than this."

Lincoln searches all over his room for money. He finds money under his bed, along with his hand me downs. He has enough money to spend.

"I'm rich. Choco bars, here I come!"

Lincoln meets up with friends outside and they begin to walk downtown.

"We'll have enough candy bars for a week." Rusty said.

"Well, those Mondo bars are a bit expensive." Clyde said. "One is good enough for me."

"I hear they're as hard as jawbreakers." Zach said. "Can you believe that Lincoln?...Lincoln? Lincoln?"

The guys notice that Lincoln has stopped walking with them. He is looking at something on a fence.

"Hey Linc, whatcha staring at?" Rusty asked.

"That. Robot Wranglers from Outer Space!"

They guys all looked at a poster. It was a poster of an upcoming movie called "Robot Wranglers from Outer Space." On the poster there are robots wearing cowboy hats. Lincoln read the other words on the poster.

"Marooned on a distant planet! Visitors in the void! No escape!!"

Then Lincoln saw something that made him really upset. There was a label that said "Adults Only."

"NOOO! It's not fair!" Lincoln sank down in disappointment. "Man, I wish I was older."

"Don't worry Lincoln. We'll see it on tv in a year." Clyde reassured.

"Yeah, with all the good stuff cut out."

"Wait guys, I've got it. All we have to do is cash our money in for tickets."

"Good idea Zach." Lincoln said. "Come on guys, we've got a movie to watch!"

Soon, Lincoln and the gang are riding to the movie theater on Rusty's bike. Lincoln is sitting in a basket up front and Clyde and Zach are in a sidecar.

"This is a pretty sweet ride you've got here Rusty." Zach complimented.

"Thanks. This movie sounds pretty cool." Rusty said.

"And we can all agree that I'm the most mature looking so I'll go in first." Lincoln stated.

"Can't argue with that." Clyde said.

"Clyde can be my wife."

Clyde had a disgusted look. "Why not Rusty? He's taller."

"No way man." Rusty said. "So tell us more about this movie Lincoln."

"Ok, the story begins with three space outlaws who crash land on a robot planet."

"Amazing." Clyde said.

"Shock o Rama." Zach said.

"R rated." Rusty said.

Lincoln continued. "And they have to fight off the robots but they also have to escape back to Earth or the robots will grind their bones to bits."

As Lincoln was telling the story, Rusty was distracted and not paying attention to the road. He was now headed into the city junkyard.

"When the three spaceman lose control of their ship, and hurtle into a field of asteroids that almost crush them into space dust."

A wrecking ball almost hits the boys but they don't notice.

"They're sucked into a dimensional time portal that transports them to the robot planet."

Rusty rides into a long pipe and they come out the other end. They crash down somewhere in the trash filled junkyard.

"They heroes find their ship destroyed." Lincoln said continuing

Rusty notices his bike is now broken.

"Aww man!"

"They're marooned on the robot planet." Lincoln stated.

The kids are now somewhere in the dump.

"Look!" Zach pointed over their heads and they saw a car being lifted by a crane with a magnet at the end. The magnet drops the car and it lands in front of the boys.

"Cool!" They exclaimed.

The car gets smashed up by machinery.

"Not cool! Not cool!"

The boys run away.

They hide in a car that abandoned car that is on a heap of trash. They pop their heads out. Lincoln, Clyde, and Zach are in the passenger's seat. Rusty is at the steering wheel.

"Who knew the dump was so terrifying?" Rusty said. "We've gotta get outta here!"

I have an idea." Clyde said. He pulls out a string from the upholstery and turns it into a makeshift headset. He then tried to dial in a station from the radio. "Come in Earth. Come in Earth. Come in Earth. I repeat, come in Earth!"

He gets no reply. "No response. There's no RESPONSE!!"

"Are you saying..we're stranded?!" Zach panicked grabbing Clyde by his shirt collar.

"Then there's not much time before the cold robot planet nights squeeze the life out of us." Lincoln stated, remembering what happened in the movie.

"WE MUST FIND SHELTER!!!" Lincoln declared. The word "shelter" echoes throughout the junkyard.

An hour later, Lincoln was leading his friends through the junkyard.

"Come on! This way! Not much further!"

The others were tired.

"You said that an hour ago Lincoln." Rusty said weary.

Lincoln digged through the pile of trash.

"What are we looking for again?" Clyde asked.

"A cave!" Lincoln replied popping his body out from the trash pile. "A cave is the first thing the space outlaws find to protect themselves from-"

"Yeah, Yeah. The frozen robot planet nights." Zach said pretending to be scared.

"We're never gonna find shel-" Rusty spotted an awesome looking van with flames on it. He runs over to it along with the other boys.

"Cool van." Zach said.

Rusty opened the back doors and went inside. The others looked inside. Rusty was laying on a water bed.

"Wow." The boys said amazed.

"Come on in boys." Rusty said. "Enjoy the genuine shag carpeting, and the waterbed."

Rusty goes up to the front and honks the horn. La Cucaracha plays.

"This may be better than Vanzilla." Lincoln commented as he and the others were relaxing on the water bed.

"Boys, welcome to central command." Rusty said.

The boys sighed in relief.

Later, Lincoln and the boys are running through the dump. They are now wearing weird armor which is stuff they found in a trash pile.

"Prepare for you eminent capture Zach." Clyde said as he was about to capture Zach.

"You'll never take me!" Zach leapt behind a pile of garbage.

"Where'd he go?" Rusty wondered.

Zach jumped out with a pair of fuzzy dice in his hands. "Prepare to meet your doom!" He swing the dice like nunchucks.

The other boys just watched and pulled out their own weapons: fake ray guns. Zach screamed. Now all the boys pretend to shoot each other. Zach hits Lincoln with the dice.

"Ha! Missed me! You lose!" Zach said to Clyde and laughed.

Lincoln was on top of a trash heap. "Hey guys, come up here."

The other boys go up. Below them, they see the two bullies Hank and Hawk torturing a kid. It was Chandler. He was tied up to a pole.

"Time for target practice!" Hawk said.

"Get me down from here." Chandler said.

Hawk and Hank shot spitballs at the kid with a straw. They laughed.

"Hey! Not my hair!" Chandler cried.

"Yo Hank, let's spice this up a bit." Hawk got out some dodgeballs.

"Yeah!"

Lincoln and the gang see this from on top the of the trash heap.

"Stay back! Those barbaric life sucking aliens have captured a space outlaw! As much as we hate this outlaw, will we three brave explorers take the risk to save him anyway?" Lincoln said and then a moment. "Maybe."

But then, Lincoln slipped on a banana peel and went tumbling down the mountain of garbage.

"LINCOLN!" The other boys yelled but they lose their balance and tumble down the hill as well.

Hank and Hawk continue to throw more dodgeballs at Chandler as they laugh. Lincoln is still tumbling down and screaming. The bullies notice.

"What the heck?"

Lincoln rolls towards them.

"Dude! Let's get outta here!" Hank yelled and Hawk ran away.

Lincoln came to a stop in front of Chandler.

"Well Chandler, it looks like you need rescuing right?" Lincoln said with a smug face.

"Just get me down from here!"

Lincoln united him. Chandler falls down and gets back up.

"What are you supposed to be?" Chandler said noticing Lincoln's getup.

"A fearless space outlaw." Lincoln stated.

"More like space loser." Chandler said and rode off with his bike.

Clyde, Rusty, and Zach into Lincoln.

"Did you save that space outlaw?" Rusty asked.

"Yeah, He was most grateful."

Suddenly, there was a roaring sound. The other boys looked scared.

"Wha-what was that?" Clyde asked.

"Robot bounty hunters." Lincoln stated. "I'll go check it. You guys stay here."

Lincoln goes alone on his mission to track down "bounty hunters." He looks through a tin can with both kids cut out. He hears a noise, which startled him. He goes from one trash pile to another and hides behind it. He sees a shadow coming his way. He gets scared but quickly musters up his courage. He holds out a fake ray gun.

"Prepared to be terminated you solar scumbag!" Lincoln charges but then stops when he sees something. We only see it's shadow as it appears to be large. Lincoln gets a frightened look on his face as this thing gets closer to him.

Meanwhile, Rusty is pacing back and forth worried about Lincoln. He hears his scream.

"Lincoln?"

Clyde and Zach are busy building some kind of rocket. Lincoln screams again.

"Guys! Did you hear that? They're getting closer!" Rocky panicked. He noticed the rocket. "Is this thing ready yet?"

"Well Rusty, it's just the prototype and I still need to-"

Rusty gets in the rocket.

"Rusty!" Zach yelled.

"There's only one seat." Rusty noted. "Why is there just one seat?"

"Like I said, this is the prototype." Clyde said. "When I test this, I'll build the real one."

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go guys! Liftoff!"

"But Rusty, we still need to-"

"Clyde, fire the rocket!"

"Fine. But you better where this." Clyde puts a colander on Rusty's head.

He gets the rocket ready. He uses a foot pump and gets pressure in the rocket.

"3. 2. 1. Blast off!" Zach said and pulled the lever which fires the rocket.

Rusty blasted off into the sky. "OH YEAH!!"

As he's in the air, the rocket then disintegrates and he is left sitting in a chair in midair. Rusty screams and falls back down.

"Well, I better test the parachute." Clyde said. He got out a remote and pressed a button on it. Rusty got a parachute so he could land safety. "Phew! At least that worked."

He throws the remote on the ground which presses the button. Rusty loses his parachute and continues to fall. Zach sees his shadow and moves out of the way and Rusty crashes on Clyde.

"Hey Clyde, the rocket needs work."

"It's a prototype!" Clyde shouted. "And you're crushing me!"

Lincoln is seen running towards his friends screaming. "Run Guys! The robots are coming!"

Lincoln runs right past them. The other boys see actual robots headed towards them. They scream in terror and run off with Lincoln.

The kids are now hiding by the van. Lincoln looked up and described the scene. "The planet seemed eerily calm as the approach of the robot bounty hunters was awaited fearlessly by the three brave outlaws."

The other boys were shaking in fear.

"Are you for real right now?" Rusty said.

Lincoln shushed him. He saw the robots coming their way. "They're approaching."

Lincoln waits to give them the signal. He starts the countdown. "3. 2. 1. Attack!"

Now the boys attack. Lincoln, Clyde, and Zach use ray guns and Rusty throws grenades. Lincoln shouts out descriptions.

"Vaporizing thermal grenades! Quasic terra lasers! Subatomic blasters!"

The robots are taking the damage.

"GET EM GET EM!"

In reality, the robots are really Lincoln's sisters, Lori, Luna, and Lana. They are getting hit with tin cans.

"Lincoln!" Lori yells. "Knock it off!"

Lincoln realizes. Lori marches up to them.

"What the heck are you guys?!"

"Uh, Nothing." They said nervously.

"Lincoln, it's time for dinner. Now come on." Lori leaves with Luna. Lana stays.

"Wow. You guys were hanging out in the junkyard all day? Cool." Lana said.

"Well, dinner sounds good. I'm hungry." Rusty said leaving with Clyde and Zach.

"Me too." Zach said.

Lincoln is left alone by the van. He still acts as if he's in the robot movie. "Only one was left alive during the horrible battle. Wounded and stranded, would he ever get off the robot planet? Would he ever get home?"

Clyde, Zach, Rusty and Lana are shown waiting impatiently for Lincoln.

"Would he-"

Clyde grabs Lincoln by the collar and drags him along.

"On no! My own comrades betrayed me!"

Clyde rolled his eyes. "Lincoln, give it a rest already."


	5. Chapter 5: An EEnE Halloween Parody

**A parody of the EEnE Halloween special: EEnE's Boo Haw Haw**

 **Happy Halloween!**

It's the last day of October in Royal Woods, which means today is Halloween. At the McBride residence, Clyde has finished raking the leaves into a big pile. As he turned around to get a bag, Rusty and Zach jumped into his pile of leaves. Clyde turned back around.

"You guys! I just raked those! Do you know how annoying that is?" Clyde scolded.

"Sorry man. We couldn't resist." Zach said.

"But come on, it's Halloween." Rusty said. "We were all gonna meet at Lincoln's house.

"Oh yeah. You said you had something planned for this year. What was it?" Clyde said.

"I'll show you when we get to Lincoln's place."

Soon, Rusty, Clyde, and Zach all rushed off to Lincoln's place.

The Loud House presents: Nightmare in Royal Woods

The three boys finally arrived at the Loud House which was all Halloween themed. Rusty knocked and Rita answered. She was dressed as a lion.

"Oh hey boys. Here to see Lincoln?"

"Yep."

"Nice costume Mrs. Loud." Clyde complimented.

"Thank you. Come on in." Rita went into the kitchen.

"She's foxy." Zach said once Rita was out of sight.

Lincoln was in the living room watching tv.

"Hey Lincoln, check out what I've got." Rusty said holding out a folded up paper in front of Lincoln.

Then Rusty got a good look at Lincoln. He looked like he was being hypnotized as he kept his eyes on the screen.

"Uh Lincoln?"

No response.

"Yo Linc. Snap out of it. You're scaring me."

Zach and Clyde saw Lincoln's expression too. Clyde then noticed a bunch of movie tapes next to Lincoln. (not as much as Ed watched) He looked through them.

"What's with this guy?" Rusty wondered still trying to get Lincoln's attention.

"He's been watching horror movies." Clyde stated. "Sitting in front of the television for excessive periods of time can induce a trance like state and even rewire a susceptible brain."

"I got this." Zach said.

He reached for the tv plug and unplugged it. Lincoln snapped out of his trance as his eyes went static for a moment.

"Hey guys, it's Halloween!" Lincoln said.

"You know it man." Rusty said. He unfolded his paper. "I've got a map right here to the secret location in town. It's called Spookyville! I got it from my dad. People give out buckets of candy there."

"Sweet! That sounds too good to be true." Lincoln said.

"May I?" Clyde took the map from Rusty. "Thank you."

Clyde studied the map. He saw the directions leading from Rusty's home to Spookyville. "I highly doubt you'll find anything with this Rusty. Let alone a "Spookyville"."

"What are you trying to do? Ruin our Halloween?" Rusty questioned.

"Clyde may have a point though." Lincoln said. "What if this Spookyville doesn't really exist?"

"And if it does exist, I don't want to miss out on getting bucketloads of candy."

"Well, I guess we could give this a try." Clyde said.

"Shouldn't we invite Liam to tag along with us?" Zach asked.

"He said he had other plans." Rusty said.

"Well What are we waiting for? Let's get ready!" Lincoln said excitedly.

Soon, the three boys came out dressed in their costumes.

"Come on boys! It's trick or treating time!" Rusty said dressed as Zombie Michael Jackson. (he's wearing Michael Jackson's outfit from Thriller)

"Wait up Zombie Jackson!" Lincoln said dressed as Ace Savvy. "Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack are here!"

Zach came out as One Eyed Jack. "Time to deal out crime!"

"Wait, I thought Clyde was gonna be One Eyed Jack." Rusty said.

"Clyde wanted to be..something else." Lincoln told him. Then Lincoln's eyes went static for a moment again. He shook his head and went back to normal.

"Hey guys, aren't I frightening?" Clyde asked. He made a weak growl.

"What the heck are you supposed to be?" Rusty asked.

"Guess. I'm less than five micrometers tall yet I pack a truly terrifying punch." Clyde explained.

The other boys looked confused.

"Don't get too close to me or I may infect you."

The boys were still confused.

"In the Dark Ages, I caused millions of deaths."

Still confused.

"The bubonic plague! I'm the bubonic plague!" Clyde yelled.

"Oh. Like on your teeth?" Rusty said pointing at his teeth.

"Not plaque! Plague!"

"Ah, I think I heard Lisa discuss those things." Lincoln said.

"Alright, let's get going! Spookyville, here we come!" Rusty said as he and the boys ran off.

Lincoln then heard the voices of his older sisters. He followed the sounds. He looked over a fence and saw his older sisters setting up a corn maze. Lynn was dressed as a werewolf. Luan was a scarecrow while Mr. Coconuts had on a pumpkin head. Luna was wearing her skeleton costume. Lori and Lori were dressed as witches.

"Dudes, Lucy's spooky advice is really paying off." Luna said as she set down a pumpkin.

"It literally will when we make some cash." Lori said.

Lincoln's eyes went static and he saw the teens as real monsters. Lynn was now a demonic werewolf, Luan was a real scarecrow, Luna was real skeleton, and Leni and Lori were real witches.

In Lincoln's fantasy, he is all buff like Ace SavvyThe witches were cutting open a pumpkin. Inside the pumpkin there was some kind of liquid.

"The potion's ready!" The short blonde haired witch said. "Let's start the jinx!"

The others gathered around the witches.

"Monsters of the night, beasts from below. Rise up and get our errant foes." The short blonde haired witch said.

"Make them scream, make them sweat." The long blonde haired witch said.

"Let's give em the Halloween they'll never forget!" Both witches said together.

Steam shot up from the potion, making the sky all foggy and cloudy. Ace Savvy watched in fear as Smokey hands crawled towards him. Ace tried to run away but the hands grabbed him. He managed to escape and ran off screaming.

We go back to reality. Lori is taking out pumpkin seeds. She looks around.

"Did you guys hear something?"

"Other than my killer toots." Lynn said.

"Eww." Leni said disgusted.

Meanwhile, the other kids were on their mission to find Spookyville. Clyde was examining the map. "So I see the first clue to look for is a dented stop sign."

Then they heard Lincoln. He was running towards. "Run for your lives!" He ran past them.

"Lincoln! Wait up!" Zach called.

The boys ran after him. Lincoln hid behind a tree. The boys caught up to him.

"What's wrong man?" Clyde asked.

"I saw witches and some other monsters!" Lincoln stated. "The witches put a jinx on us to set monsters after us!"

"Monsters? Sure. I bet they'll eat us alive!" Rusty said sarcastically. "We'll have our brains sucked out of our skulls! It's up to you to protect us Lincoln! So me, the germ, and One Eyed Jack can find the clues and escape to Spookyville."

"Germ. Right." Clyde said unamused.

"I'm on it!" Lincoln said. He made a heroic pose. "For I am Ace Savvy, the world's savviest crime fighter! And justice for all!"

"Yeah, great." Rusty said. "Now where were we?"

"Shh!" Lincoln shushed. "Something's coming."

At a nearby house, Lana, dressed as bug creature had Just trick or treated there. "Happy Halloween!" Lana walked off with her bag of candy in one hand and a flashlight in the other.

"I bet I got more candy than Lola." She said to herself.

Lincoln looked from behind a bush and saw his little sis. But then once again his eyes went static and he saw her as an alien creature. Her flashlight was replaced with a ray gun.

Back in reality, Lincoln was sneaking over to her. The other boys noticed this from behind the tree.

"What is Lincoln doing?" Zach asked.

"Being a dork as usual." Rusty said.

Lincoln appeared behind Lana. "Stop right there evil alien from the planet of putridity!

The alien aimed its ray gun at Ace. It was speaking gibberish.

Lana looked at her brother shining her flashlight at him. "Lincoln? Dressed as Ace Savvy again I see."

"A ray gun!" Lincoln ran off and tried to pick up a stop sign. He pulled it up.

In reality, Lincoln pulled out a tree branch.

"Go back from where you came!" Lincoln ran up to Lana.

"Um Linc-"

Lincoln whacked her with the branch. Clyde and Zach were shocked.

"OMG!" Clyde exclaimed.

"That's harsh." Zach said.

Rusty, however, burst out laughing. Clyde and Zach glared at him. Rusty stopped and smiled nervously.

"Look what I got guys! The alien's proton pulverized!" Lincoln came back holding Lana's flashlight. He also had a bag of Lana's treats. He tossed it on the ground. "Save yourselves from the jinx!"

Rusty looked in the bag. "Nice haul you've got here.

Zach saw too. "Oh yeah. This is real nice."

"Don't mention it guys." Lincoln said proudly.

Lola walks down the sidewalk with her bag of candy. She is dressed in a devil costume. She trips over something.

"Ow! Of all the stupid-" She is shocked when she sees her twin sister lying on the ground with a black eye. She gasps and shakes her awake. "Lana?! What happened?"

Lana regains consciousness. "Lincoln attacked me! He was dressed as Ace Savvy!"

Lola gritted her teeth. The boys now found a stop sign but it wasn't dented.

"Lincoln, I can't believe you did that! That was not an alien! That was your sister Lana and you stole her candy!" Clyde scolded.

"That's not funny Clyde. I would never do that to Lana." Lincoln said unaware of what he really did.

"Guys look! It's the stop sign!" Rusty pointed out. He put some of Lana's candy in his pocket.

"Yeah, but it's not dented." Clyde said.

He felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around to see Lola smiling at him. She seemed calm.

"Hey guys?" Her calmness turned to anger. "WHERE'S LANA'S CANDY?!"

Clyde backed away nervously. Lola glared at Rusty when she a familiar looking bag in his hand.

"Here! Take it!" Rusty said scared and he threw the bag.

Lincoln's eyes goes static and he is seen is his own fantasy again. "You won't feast on our blood tonight She-devil vampire!"

Lola is seen as half demon half vampire. There is a fiery background behind her. She leapt at Ace, pinning him to the ground.

In reality, Lola was attacking her white haired brother. "This is for attacking Lana!"

Lincoln was fighting back. He then kicked her off.

Lincoln gets back up and pulls out a steak from his outfit. "A steak will defeat you!" He shoved the steak into the devil vampire's heart. She gives him a confused look. He picks her up and tosses her in a grave. "You've been grounded!"

Back in reality, Lincoln has buried his sister. "The demon vampire has been vanquished! To Spookyville!"

Lincoln runs off. Rusty looks concerned but then runs after Lincoln. "Hey Lincoln, where'd you get that steak?"

Clyde and Zach are more concerned. Clyde goes over to where Lola is buried. He grabs a shovel and digs her out. She has sticks in her ears.

"Um, my apologies Lola. Happy Halloween?" Clyde said awkwardly before running after Lincoln.

"Yeah. Happy Halloween." Zach said before running off.

Lola just looks stunned. Lincoln and Rusty are far ahead. Clyde and Zach try to keep up.

"Wait up fellows!" Clyde called.

Clyde and Zach suddenly bump into someone dressed as mummy. It was Girl Jordan. She was also wearing a crown.

"Was that like a trick or a treat?" Jordan said. Her mouth and eyes were exposed. "Happy Halloween guys!"

She helps the boys up.

"And a good Hallows Eve to you Jordan." Clyde replied.

"Kudos on your mummy costume." Zach complimented. "And judging by your crown, you must be the queen."

"That's right. Hey, you guys want some Melonheads?" Girl Jordan held out her candy bag.

"Melonheads?" Clyde said unfamiliar with the type of candy.

"They're a type of hard candy." Zach explained.

"Oh come on guys, let's go check out the next house!" Girl Jordan suggested.

"Well, actually, we're expected to be somewhere." Clyde mentioned nervously as the boys started to follow her but Jordan was more focused on getting candy. "Oh man."

Lincoln and Rusty were running down the sidewalk.

"So what's the next direction on the map?" Lincoln asked.

"The map?" Rusty stops running as he realizes Clyde and Zach are not with them. "Clyde has the map!"

Lincoln stops too. "Well, where is he and Zach? Let's go find them!"

They run back. Clyde, Zach and Girl Jordan are seen at someone's house waiting for someone to answer the door.

"I'm guessing they're not home." Clyde said after waiting a bit.

"Either that or they're busy." Zach said.

Lincoln and Rusty caught up to them.

"What are they doing with Girl Jordan?" Rusty asked. "Did they just ditch us?"

Lincoln's eyes went static and he saw Jordan as a demonic mummy.

"Release them!" Lincoln shouted and charged.

The person who owned the house had finally given Jordan some candy.

"Thanks." She said. She held up her bag. "This stuff's gonna go right to my thighs."

She was then tackled by Lincoln.

Ace Savvy had pinned the mummy to the ground. The mummy covers and wraps his body with its paper. Ace tried to escape. "Oh no! I'm being mummified!" Now his whole body was covered and he is stuck in place.

In reality, Lincoln remains still. Girl Jordan looks at him confused.

However, Ace used all his strength to break free. He pulled on the mummy's wrappings, untangling her until her true form was revealed to be a short monster. She was spun into a pit where she vanished.

"Looks like Ace Savvy has this situation all wrapped up! Or should I say unwrapped." Lincoln stated proudly.

The boys were left speechless at what Lincoln had just done to Girl Jordan. In reality, he sent Girl Jordan into a nearby garbage bin.

Clyde then spoke. "Lincoln! What has gotten into you?!"

"Yeah man! You've lost it!" Zach added.

"What are you talking about? I just saved you guys." Lincoln said.

"Hey guys, I found a wagon!" Rusty stated. He dragged over a wagon big enough to fit all of the boys in.

"Great. We can pretend this is our convertible." Lincoln said. "To Spookyville!"

Rusty and Lincoln got in. Zach got in too. Clyde was still stunned about what Lincoln just did.

"Come on Clyde." Lincoln dragged Clyde inside and they rode off.

Girl Jordan popped her head out of the trash. She was revealed to be wearing a shirt. She yelled to Lincoln. "You are totally in for it! That was so uncool!" She threw a banana peel out of her hair.

The guys were riding down the sidewalk in the wagon.

"Uh, how do we stop this thing?" Zach asked.

The guys headed off the road and crashed inside an old car. Lincoln popped his head out of the glove compartment.

"They should put brakes on that vehicle." Lincoln said.

Clyde crawled out of the front seat. "Lincoln, this has gone too far!"

Lincoln shushed him. "Quiet Clyde! There could be monsters around."

Lincoln came out of the car and went to search for monsters. Zach came up from the back seat looking dazed and Rusty climbed out of the passenger's seat.

"Guys, I'm really concerned about Lincoln and his behavior." Clyde rambled. "It's those horror movies. They must have affected him and now he's acting all crazy!"

Zach and Rusty looked concerned.

"I think you're right Clyde." Zach responded.

"That explains so much." Rusty said but then changed the subject. "So what's the next clue?"

Clyde glared at Rusty. "Don't change the subject."

"What's the next clue?" Rusty repeated.

Clyde sighed and came out of the car. He looked at the map. "It says here the next clue to look for is an abandoned hearse. Seriously? Where are we gonna find-"

Clyde realized something and looked back at the car the gang crashed into. It was an abandoned hearse. Zach and Rusty realized too.

"That's it!" Rusty said. "You found a clue!"

"Just as the map indicated." Zach said.

"Hearse, Check. So what's next?" Rusty said anxiously. "Read it!"

Clyde was about to read the next clue but suddenly got hit with an egg, which was thrown by Chandler. He was not wearing a costume but he had on a jacket. He was riding his bike and his backpack and a carton of eggs with him.

"One down. Three dorks to go." Chandler laughed. "Man, I love Halloween."

"Hey Linc, where are you?" Rusty called. Lincoln popped out his body out of the bushes.

Then Rusty and Zach got hit with an egg.

"One more to go." Chandler said.

Lincoln's eyes went static and he saw a headless horseman riding on a demonic horse. He had a flaming pumpkin in one hand and Chandler's head in the other.

"It's the Headless Horseman from Cirrhosis of the liverpool!" Ace Savvy exclaimed. Chandler's head laughed evilly.

"Take the ladies to safety!" Lincoln said running up in front of his friends.

The horseman threw a flaming pumpkin at Ace.

Lincoln got hit in the face with an egg. He stopped in his tracks.

The horseman ran towards him with another pumpkin in his hand.

"Is it me or does raw egg smell like my socks?" Rusty said.

"Retreat! The horseman is too strong!" Lincoln warned his friends and ran away. His friends looked each other. An egg was thrown in front of them and they ran off with Lincoln. Lincoln led them to the edge of a cliff.

"You guys down there!" Lincoln said.

"Wait, What?" Clyde questioned.

Lincoln pushed all three of them down the cliff. They screamed as fell. Lincoln looked back at the approaching horseman and he had nowhere else to go.

"Adios loser!" Chandler's Head laughed evilly. He threw another flaming pumpkin at Ace Savvy. Ace flew up in the air and dodged the attack. Ace summoned a giant toy jack he borrowed from One Eyed Jack. (let's just say this is one of Ace Savvy's new powers) He aimed and fired it at the headless horseman and horse.

"Uh oh." Chandler's head said.

The horseman and horse were crushed. Chandler's went flying.

In reality, Lincoln had thrown normal sized toy jacks at Chandler's bike. They caused his front tire to go flat.

"My bike!" Chandler said.

"Tell the witches that jinx is for naught!" Lincoln said. He picked up his jacks

Meanwhile, down below the cliff, the other boys landed safely on a abandoned couch. They were still a little dazed too. Lincoln is seen swinging down the cliff with a long rope and landed next to the boys. Rusty angrily glared at him.

"Hey Super Doofus, you messed up my hair!" Rusty combed his hair.

"I think I bruised my coccyx!" Clyde said.

"Lincoln, you had a rope with you the whole time?!" Zach yelled.

"Yeah. I just hooked it onto a branch." Lincoln said. "I forget this was part of my Ace Savvy costume. But no thanks are necessary."

Rusty and Zach growled at him.

"Guys, Lincoln needs some serious help. Like some psychiatric attention." Clyde suggested. "We should turn back."

"Yeah, I'm with Clyde here." Zach said.

"Back nothing!" Rusty said. "We already came all the way here so it's Spookyville or bust! Got it Spore boy and One Eyed Dork? Next clue."

"Spore Boy. Clever. Very clever." Clyde said and looked at map. "Unless I'm mistaken it reads "At the bottom of the embankment, you will find a tall oak tree."

They looked at the forest.

"There's like a million stupid trees!" Rusty shouted.

Lincoln ran forward. "My superhero senses will us to the right tree."

Lincoln went ahead.

"Come on guys. He's onto something!" Rusty said and followed Lincoln. Clyde and Zach looked at each other and shrugged before following them into the forest.

Lincoln stopped at a tree. His eyes went static again. The others stopped behind him.

"Don't be afraid." Lincoln said. This time he saw his sister Lucy as a bat like monster.

"The bat creature is a horrific and sadly misunderstood monster who longs for companionship and poetry." Ace stated.

Lucy climbs down a rope, dressed as a bat.

"We come in peace." Lincoln said and bowed down.

"Far out costumes guys." Lucy complimented. "What's Clyde supposed to be? Barf?"

"Yes, Well, a happy Hallow's-" Lincoln put a hand over Clyde's mouth. "One wrong word and we're goners."

"Oh great spider creature." Ace Savvy choose the words carefully so he wouldn't anger the bat creature.

"We seek the path to Spookyville!" Lincoln saw Rusty holding some of Lana's candy he took. He took them from him.

"Help us as we bring you offerings." Ace held the candy out in front of the bat.

Clyde spoke. "I might caution that you have any and all Halloween candy carefully inspected by your parents as a-"

Lincoln cover Clyde's mouth again. "Shut up! Don't insight it's wrath!"

"Do the offerings please you?" Ace Savvy asked the bat creature who was eating the candy.

"Yeah, sure. This stuff's pretty good." Lucy said. "If its a path you're looking for, maybe that's the way."

Lucy pointed to the path on her left. "But even I've never been to a place called Spookyville."

"Ok, thanks for the directions." Lincoln said. He and his friends walk down the path.

"If you see Rocky, tell him to come over by the cliff! I'm tired of waiting for him!" Lucy said.

The boys continue to walk down the path.

"Oh man, I hope we're almost there!" Rusty said.

Lincoln led the group through a swamp, a rock, and a deep gorge.

"We gotta be getting closer." Rusty said. "What's the next clue?"

Clyde got up and saw something that made his eyes widen. "Uh Guys?"

The guys turned to what Clyde was looking at and their eyes widened. They saw two giant shadows.

"Ahh!" Zach and Rusty screamed.

"Don't move!" Lincoln ordered.

"What could that be?" Clyde wondered.

"Look at the map." Rusty said. "Maybe it's a clue."

"Ace Savvy doesn't need a dang map." Lincoln charged towards the shadow.

"Lincoln! Wait!" Zach said.

"I think Ace Savvy might need to get his brain checked." Rusty said.

The boys went after Lincoln. Lincoln stopped behind a tree. The other boys followed. They peeked from behind the tree and saw Liam and his pig. They were in a pumpkin patch. Liam was not wearing a costume but had a jacket on.

"It's Liam!" Clyde said.

Liam saw them. "Howdy fellers."

Lincoln's eyes went static and flickered again.

Liam held out a bowl of food. "Me and Frankie here (the pig) are here for our pumpkin planting tradition. Would you guys like some pumpkin shaped hush puppies?"

"Sure." Clyde, Zach, and Rusty went to take one but Lincoln went in front of them.

"Don't taste them!" Lincoln said and knocked the bowl of Liam's hands. Liam was confused. Lincoln saw Liam as a cyclops and his pig as a mutant pig creature.

The cyclops roared at Ace Savvy. He tried to lasso the hero but he flew away. Ace Savvy lead the cyclops and pig to a tree but he got his cape stuck on a branch.

In reality, Lincoln did get his cape stuck on a tree branch. He was trying to pull it out. Liam and his pig walked up to him.

"Lincoln, I like you but tell me why I shouldn't hit you with a stick right now." Liam said.

Ace Savvy pulled his cape as hard as he could as the cyclops and pig ran towards him. He finally got his cape out just in time and punched the cyclops right in the eye. The cyclops held his eye in pain.

"My eye!" Liam cried, holding his eye as he stumbled backwards. "Somebody get me a bandage! I require a-" Liam fell in a stream nearby.

The other boys stared.

"He'll be ok." Rusty assured. "But can we please get to Spookyville before next Halloween?"

Lincoln ran ahead. "Yeah let's go." The other boys followed. Lincoln ran into Rocky who was dressed as a stone.

"Oh hey Lucy's brother." Rocky greeted. "Have you seen your sister Lucy?"

Lincoln saw Rocky as a rock monster.

"It's the Rockman!" Ace Savvy yelled. The Rockman was huge and towered over Ace. Ace backed up a bit. He tripped over a log. He got back up and picked up the log. He charged at the Rockman, repeatedly hitting him with the log.

"Take this and that!"

In reality, Lincoln was hitting Rocky with a twig. Rocky was cowering.

"Ow! Hey! Stop man!"

The other boys ran over to them.

"Oh no! Not again!" Clyde cried.

"Hey! Quit hitting my little bro!" Rusty said.

"The monster is defeated!" Lincoln said proudly and he continued walking.

Rusty helped his brother up.

"What was that all about?" Rocky asked.

"Sorry about that Rocky. Lincoln has been watching too many horror movies." Clyde said.

"Yeah. He's a real psycho now." Zach said.

"Now we've gotta get to Spookyville. Bye bro." Rusty ran off with the map.

Zach followed him. Clyde looked back at Rocky.

"By the way, Lucy is waiting for you." Clyde said. "Are you guys on a date?"

"No. We're just hanging out." Rocky said. "She's cute though."

"Yeah...well, I gotta go." Clyde said and he ran off.

Rocky was trying to read to map. "I can't read this stupid thing!"

Lincoln swiped the map from him. "I'll read it. Ace Savvy knows all!" He looked at the map. "At the end of the path, look for a big rock!"

Lincoln ran into a rock.

"That's a rock!" Rusty said getting excited.

"Behind the rock, touch the shovel!" Lincoln read.

Rusty saw a shovel and ran to it. "Touched it!"

"Under the hose we must go!" Lincoln read. He, Rusty, and Zach ran under a hose.

Clyde caught up and noticed the shovel sticking in the dirt. "Who would leave a shovel in the middle of-"

"Get over here!" Rusty dragged Clyde under the hose.

"Now close your eyes and take ten steps backwards." Lincoln read.

Rusty took ten steps backwards as he closed his eyes and counted. "One two three four five six seven eight nine ten!"

He turned around to see a neighborhood. "IT'S SPOOKYVILLE!"

Rusty jumped with joy. The other boys caught up. "Is my dad the man or what?"

Zach looked around at the place. "This is Spookyville?"

"Yeah, something's not right here Rusty." Clyde noted.

"Get a big bag! It's trick or treating time!" Rusty said excitedly.

"Stop!" Lincoln shouted. Everyone froze. "Do you hear? The monsters have joined forces to get us! Leave it to Ace Savvy to save the day!"

The white haired boy ran off.

"Ugh, whatever. Forget him." Rusty said. He turned to the others. "Come on you two! Let's hit that house!"

Rusty ran to a house. Zach and Clyde looked around but followed Rusty. Rusty ringed on the doorbell and held out his bag. Clyde and Zach realized something.

"Uh Rusty?" Clyde said.

Rusty rang the doorbell again. "What's with these people?"

"Rusty look. Don't you notice anything familiar about this house?" Zach asked.

"I bet they're faking not being at home." Rusty said through a window.

"Oh, for heaven's sake man, this is your house!" Clyde said.

"Did I win the lottery or something?" Rusty wondered.

Zach and Clyde facepalmed.

"No. It's really your house!" Clyde explained. "We've gone in a complete circle! We're back to your neighborhood."

Rusty then realized. "This is my house."

"Seems like your dad tricked then treated you this Halloween Rusty." Clyde said holding the map.

Rusty got mad. "Man, my dad is a jerk."

Lincoln returned and bumped into his friends.

"Guys, act natural. They're coming!"

The citizens that Lincoln attacked earlier are now slowing making their way towards him angrily.

"Lincoln! Wait til I get my hands on you!" Lola (the demon vampire) yelled.

"You candy stealer!" Lana (the alien) yelled.

"You have made a mockery of my tradition!" Liam (the cyclops) yelled.

"Rocky's pressing charges, you bully!" Lucy (the bat) said angrily. Rocky (the Rockman) followed him.

"Who's coughing up to fix my bike?" Chandler (the headless horseman) said angrily.

The monsters cornered the white haired superhero.

"Your mama wears combat boots!"

"What now?" Rusty said.

Lincoln pushed his friends as he ran down the road.

Ace Savvy's enemies chased after him.

They managed to hide in a bush and lose the kids.

"We should be safe in here." Lincoln said.

"Man, this has been the worst Halloween ever." Rusty frowned.

"Yeah." Zach agreed.

"Well, look at the bright side guys. No cavities this Halloween." Clyde said trying to lighten their moods.

"Ace Savvy will be on the lookout for more monsters." Lincoln said.

"No! That's enough!" Rusty said. He picked up a rock and hit Lincoln in the head with it causing Lincoln to fall to the ground and become unconscious.

"Rusty! Why'd you do that?!" Clyde said shocked.

"I'm sorry but I wanted Lincoln back to normal. Maybe when he wakes up, he'll go back to his old self." Rusty said.

Zach checked Lincoln's heart. It was still beating. "Ok good. I can feel his heart beating."

Just then, Lisa walked down the sidewalk with Lily. Lisa dressed as lawyer and Lily was a jack o lantern. Lisa was holding a bag of candy.

"Hello humans." She greeted.

"Hey Lisa." Clyde greeted.

"Why is Lincoln lying on the ground?" She asked.

"Uh, I knocked him out." Rusty said nervously.

"What?! Why would you do such a thing?!" Lisa questioned.

"Poo poo!" Lily said shocked.

"It's a long story. Let's just say Lincoln did something bad to a few people." Clyde explained. "And they're probably out to get revenge on him."

"Oh my." Lisa said. "Let me guess. He has been watching those horrific horror movies and now he's had crazy delusions and saw everyone as monsters."

"Wow. Good guess." Zach said surprised.

"We better get him home." Clyde suggested.

"Affirmative." Lisa said.

"Well, we gotta get home." Zach said.

"Yeah. See ya guys." Rusty said.

"Bye." Clyde said.

The gang began to walk to their homes. Clyde followed Lisa home as he carried Lincoln.

"Oh Lisa, I barely got any candy." Clyde said. "Do you think I could have some of yours?"

"Help yourself." She said.

Clyde dig into her bag and took a handful of candy.

"This has been an interesting Halloween." Clyde said to the viewers as he, Lisa, Lily, and an unconscious Lincoln made their way back to the Loud House.

 **As you can see, the ending is different. It may not be the best ending but I didn't want to have Clyde, Zach, and Rusty get beat up when they were innocent. Lincoln may get a punishment but nothing too harsh. I do hope you enjoyed this fanfic though. More Ed Edd n Eddy parodies are coming soon.**


	6. Chapter 6: Oath to a Loud

**Parody of the episode: Oath to an Ed**

At Clyde's house, Clyde has just gotten out of the shower. He goes to his room and sees a note on the door. He reads it.

"Dear Clyde, before we left for work we left some new clothes in your room, love your dads."

Clyde went into his room. "Oh boy. I wonder how they look." He sees the clothes on his bed. Short sleeved shirt and pants but they're super stiff. Clyde picks them up.

"I'm supposed to wear these?" Clyde inspects his clothes and sees how flat they are. "Well, all my other clothes are being washed right now. I guess I have no choice."

Soon, Clyde comes out wearing his new clothes but looks uncomfortable.

"Oh. There must've been a sale." Clyde said when he saw Lincoln come over wearing similar stiff clothes.

"Clyde, these clothes are super tight." Lincoln complained. "Leni wouldn't approve of these."

"I know my dads expect me to wear these but I really want to ditch them."

"Same here, I can barely walk in these." Lincoln tried to walk but fell over. He got back up. "Come on Clyde, let's get rid of these."

They went to Lincoln's house. Lincoln and Clyde took off their clothes, leaving them in their underwear.

"Ok Clyde, let's throw these in the trash."

"Wait. I don't think I can do this. I'd feel guilty." Clyde said. "But then again, I can't stand wearing those things. Ok, let's do this."

Lincoln opened the trash can. He found Lana inside.

"Lana, what are you doing in here?" Lincoln asked.

"Digging for treasure." She replied popping her head out. "So far all I found was this moldy sandwich. That's a good start." She noticed the new clothes Lincoln and Clyde had. "And why are you guys in your undies?"

"We're throwing these clothes away. They're too stiff."

"And we know our parents bought these for us but we really don't want to wear them." Clyde added.

"I know how that feels." Lana said. "Leni made me a dress the other day and I did the same thing so go ahead."

Lana got out and the boys threw their new clothes away.

"Goodbye uncomfortable clothes." Lincoln said.

Later, Lincoln and Clyde were wearing their usual attire as they were walking down the neighborhood.

"Man, our old clothes are way better." Lincoln said.

"Agreed." Clyde said.

Then they saw something. Three boys were rescuing a cat from a tree. They were Liam, Rusty, and Zach and they were all wearing uniforms. Zach was on Rusty's shoulders while Zach had Liam on his shoulders. Liam rescued the cat with a net.

"And that's how you rescue a cat. Royal Ranger style." Liam stated.

Lincoln and Clyde came over.

"Hey guys." Lincoln greeted. "What's with the uniforms?"

"They're our Royal Ranger troop uniforms." Liam explained.

"Royal Rangers?" Clyde questioned.

"It's a Boy Scout troop." Rusty stated.

"Wow. Can we join your troop and get a uniform?" Lincoln asked.

Zach and Liam got down. Liam released the cat and it ran off.

"So you want to join us huh?" Liam said. "Well then saddle up boys. Earn a badge to get a uniform and become a Royal Ranger."

"One badge for a cool uniform? We're in." Lincoln said excitedly. "Tell is what to do Liam."

Now all five boys were at the park. Lincoln and Clyde had on their scarves.

"Not bad." Lincoln said.

"Not too tight or loose either." Clyde added.

"You always start off with a scarf first." Rusty explained.

"Yep. We were little roaches until we got our badges." Zach said and showed the badges on his uniform. "See? Light bulb changing badge. Garbage bag replacing badge. Clothespin alignment badge and laundry sorting badge."

Liam came over. "Line up and present yourself so you'll earn a new badge. Ok little roaches, let's start off with the set up a hammock badge."

"We've got this." Lincoln said confidently.

The boys got to work on setting up a hammock. They had to tie it between two trees. Lincoln was on top of a tree setting Clyde down on the hammock with a rope.

"Now don't drop me Lincoln. Sent me down gently." Clyde said.

"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing."

Clyde was now in the hammock. Suddenly, a bee landed on Lincoln which caused him to freak out and fall out of the tree. He landed onto Clyde and tore the hammock. A few minutes later, it was time for Liam to inspect the hammocks. He first inspected Zach's.

"Good job Royal Ranger Zach. You get a badge."

"Yes!"

Next he inspected Rusty's hammock which also had a blanket roof.

"Well done Rusty. Nice rooftop too."

"Hey Liam, check out our hammock." Lincoln said.

Lincoln and Clyde were behind a fence board that had a drawing of a hammock on it with Clyde and Lincoln's bodies. Liam was not impressed.

"You little roaches ain't fooling me with that lame trick."

"What? We're in the hammock, aren't we?"

The fence board fell down revealing the torn tent.

"Ok, time for the next badge."

The boys are lined up again. Liam takes out a pair of hedge clippers. "Next we're gonna be trimming hedges for the trimming of the hedge badge."

"Lincoln, have you ever done this before?" Clyde asked.

"No, but I've seen Mom and Mr. Grouse do it before." Lincoln stated. "It should be easy."

The boys got to work. Zach used a comb to brush the hedges and a clipper to cut them.

"They're gonna be jealous."

Rusty was using a razor. Lincoln and Clyde were trimming a hedge together. Lincoln was it speedy while Clyde took his time.

"Lincoln, could you please be more precise with your snips?"

"But we've gotta get this done in time."

Liam was now inspecting Zach's hedge. "Looks good enough." He gives Zach a badge. "Enjoy your new badge Zach."

"Thanks."

He inspected Rusty's.

"Nice. A perfect 10/10."

Lincoln and Clyde had gotten stuck in the hedge which looked in bad condition. Liam saw this.

"Ok, how did this happen?" Liam asked.

"Clyde got his foot stuck in here" Lincoln explained. "And I was trying to help him out but I ended up getting stuck too."

Clyde spit out some leaves that got in his mouth.

"You guys are pushing your luck and my patience." Liam said.

Soon, the boys were once again lined up. They were by a bus stop.

"Next badge: escorting the elderly across the street." Liam said. "This should be as easy as shearing sheep."

"I'm into easy." Lincoln said. "So Who are we helping?"

"My grandmother was too busy taming a wild pig so Christina volunteered to take her place."

Christina came over. "Hey guys."

Lincoln and Clyde started sweating.

"You're up Clyde." Lincoln said.

Clyde pushed Lincoln in front.

"Dang it."

"Remember Lincoln, you have to do this if you want to earn that badge." Zach reminded him.

"Ok, sure." Lincoln said nervously as he went next to Christina.

"You gonna Hold my hand?" She asked.

"Oh. Right." Lincoln sweated and started to drag someone across the street. "Watch your step. There you go Christina."

It turned out that Lincoln had walked across the street holding Clyde's hand.

"Boy Lincoln, your hand is so sweaty. But you did a good job."

"Great job." Liam said. "But little roach Clyde is not my grandma. No badge."

At Liam's House, Liam was ready to give Lincoln and Clyde the next task. They were in his kitchen.

"Next badge: the smoked vegan sausage. Cook this baby in the microwave properly and you'll be part of our troop."

Liam tossed Lincoln the packet.

"Here Clyde, you know how to do stuff like this." Lincoln gave Clyde the packet.

Clyde opened it and put the sausage in a plate before putting it in the microwave. He read the instructions and started the time. The microwave glowed a green color as the sausage was being heated.

"What's taking so long? Let's speed this up." Lincoln said and pressed a button on the microwave. "Now we're cooking."

The microwave glowed brighter.

"Is it ready?" Liam asked.

The microwave shook and sausage meat splattered all over the boys.

"Have you roaches lost your ding dang minds?" Liam said angrily. "You've wasted a delicious food product! This is not allowed in the Royal Rangers!" Liam sighs. "But seeing you covered in filth reminds me of mah pigs. Next badge."

"Um, I could use a shower first." Clyde said.

Now the three boys were in Liam's bathroom.

"Alright little roaches, this one is easy." Liam pointed to a toilet paper holder.

"Oh. This I can do." Lincoln said. "You just replace the empty toilet paper rolls with a new one. What a cinch."

Clyde grabbed new toilet paper. Lincoln lifted up the holder and took off the paper roll but the holder came off and started bouncing everywhere.

"Runaway paper holder!" Lincoln yelled.

The boys ducked.

"I've got it!" Lincoln leaped.

"Allow me Lincoln!" Clyde leapt too.

They both stood on the toilet trying to catch the holder but it fell in the toilet. Liam grew more frustrated.

"Roaches! You'll never get a badge!" Liam stormed out.

"Liam, wait!" Liam slammed the door in his face.

"Ow."

Liam went to his barn to get milk from one of his cows.

"Those boys are crazy like my chickens except they lay no eggs." He poured milk into a bottle. "Some milk should calm my nerves."

He drank some milk. Lincoln and Clyde came in.

"Look Liam, I know we haven't done a good job with any of your tasks but as our friends, please give us another chance." Lincoln begged. He made a cute face.

Liam thought about this. "Alright. I'll give you another chance. Now let me finish my milk."

"Yes!" Lincoln and Clyde cheered.

Back at the Loud House, Lincoln was ready for the next task. He was holding a pie.

"This is very easy Lincoln." Liam said.

"I got it." Lincoln said. "I just have to be a good brother and I'll get a badge. Piece of cake.. or piece of pie."

"Watch your manners too." Clyde said.

Lincoln went up to the house and knocked on the door. The door opened. It was Lola.

"Hello Little sister, I baked you this pie and-" Lola threw the pie in Lincoln's face.

"Nice makeover Lincoln." Lola teased.

Lincoln grumbled and wiped the pie off of himself.

"Remember Lincoln, manners. It's our last chance." Clyde mentioned.

"So what's the matter? Can't you talk?" Lola continued mocking. "Are you a baby?"

Lincoln tried to remain calm. "Hi neighbor, I..baked you a..pie-"

"My name is Linky and I like to make a stinky!" Lola sucked her thumb, continuing to mock her brother.

"Hello sister, I just thought-"

"Goo goo goo!"

"Excuse me sister.."

"Aw, is baby gonna cry?"

Lincoln's face started to turn red.

"Does baby need his Bun Bun?"

Finally, Lincoln snapped. "SHUT UP LOLA!"

Lola fell backwards.

"Lincoln! You blew it! You can't join our troop and you don't get a badge or uniform!" Liam scolded.

"How about another chance?"

Liam growled.

Soon, Lincoln and Clyde were forced to give up their scarves.

"Sorry boys, but you just aren't Royal Ranger material." Liam said. "Not hard feelings?"

The boys nodded.

"But you are welcome to have a Royal Ranger hush puppy pie."

Liam handed them a pie.

"Thanks." Lincoln and Clyde said.

"Hey leader, what's next our next task?" Rusty asked.

"Next is the badge making badge." Liam said.

"Sweet." Zach said.

The Royal Rangers walked off. Lincoln and Clyde walked in the opposite direction.

"You know, we don't need those uniforms Lincoln." Clyde said. "We can buy better uniforms at the mall."

"That would be nice." Lincoln said. "How about we go shopping with you dads sometime?"

"You got it buddy." Clyde said.


	7. Chapter 7: Dear Loud

**Based off the episode: Dear Ed**

Outside the Loud House, Lisa, Lana, and Lincoln are all looking for hidden treasure. Lisa was using a metal detector.

"So Lisa, what exactly is this treasure we're looking for?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm not sure." Lisa answered. "But our elderly relative Pop Pop had informed me about something he buried around here for his time capsule."

"Oh boy. Pop Pop always gives us cool stuff." Lana said.

Just then, Lisa's detector started beeping. "My detector has detected something!" Lisa took a stick and drew an X on the ground. "I've marked the exact position of where to excavate."

"Excavate?" Lana said.

"She wants you to dig Lana." Lincoln explained.

"Ok." Lana started digging with her hands rapidly.

"What an animal." Lisa said.

Lana digged a hole that was big enough for her to spot the treasure. "I see something shiny guys."

"Well, What is it?" Lincoln wondered.

Lana took up the item. It was a gold denture. "Dentures? That's the big treasure?"

Lisa inspected it. "I believe this is gold paint. This is not worth anything."

Just then, Lisa's friend Darcy Homandollar walked over holding Mr. Coconuts.

"Hi Lisa and Lisa's siblings." She greeted.

"Greetings Darcy." Lisa said.

"What are you doing with Mr. Coconuts?" Lincoln asked. "Did you steal him from Luan?"

"No. Luan got into a argument with him." Darcy said. "He said Luan should pass him on to someone else."

"Luan does realize he is a toy dummy right?" Lisa said.

"He was more than that to her. He was her friend." Lincoln said. "I'm gonna go see if she's ok."

Lincoln left. Darcy noticed Lisa with the dentures.

"Nice dentures."

"Want them?" Lisa asked.

Inside, Lincoln walked upstairs and met with Leni.

"Hey Lincoln, something's wrong with Luan." She said. "She wouldn't tell me any jokes. Did she give up comedy again?"

"No. Luan recently broke up with Mr. Coconuts." Lincoln stated.

"That's awful."

Lincoln thought of something. "Wait Leni, I've got a plan."

In Luna and Luan's room, a depressed Luan is sitting on her bean bag chair drawing art of Mr. Coconuts. Leni knocks on the door.

"Come in." She said depressed.

Leni came in. "Hi Luan, can I chat with you?"

"Sure, I guess I need someone to talk to." Luan said.

Leni sat on Luna's bed.

"Do you want to make a pie?" Luan asked.

"Luan, you must feel lonely without Mr. Coconuts." Leni said ignoring Luan's question. "You guys got along so well."

Hearing this made Luan more depressed. "I'm f-fine without him."

"You should totes get a new friend at the friend store." Leni said.

"Friend store?"

Leni dragged her sister out of the room. In the attic, Lincoln found a chest where had some old toy dummies. Lucy was there helping Lincoln with his plan. She got some of her own toys.

"Thanks for the help Lucy."

"Don't mention it. Me and Luan both have a need to interact with inanimate objects. It's quite normal. Sometimes it helps us with a lack of confidence or social phobias."

Luan and Leni were walking up the ladder into the attic.

"The friend store's up here." Leni said.

"Leni, this is the attic." Luan mentioned.

Leni came into the attic with Luan. "Luan's here Lincoln."

"Hey Luan, you look like you need a new friend." Lincoln said. "At Lincoln and Lucy's friend store, your new friend is carefully chosen by our master matchmaker Lucy."

"If you can set me up with a new buddy who I'll be happy with, I'll bake you guys a pie." Luan said.

"Deal!" Lincoln said.

"Luan, after thinking it through I've found your ideal match." Lucy takes out a pale toy dummy with black hair and dressed in a hoodie. "Lars, meet Luan. Luan, meet Lars."

Luan saw the dummy was missing an eye which creeped her out.

"Whoops. I forgot he was missing an eye." Lucy said. She puts an eyepatch on him. "There we go."

Luan decided to greet the dummy now. She held him. "Hey Lars."

"Hey Luan, I like your ponytail." Lars said being controlled by Luan. She gave him a deep voice since he was goth.

"I like your hair." Luan said.

"Well, What do you know?" Lincoln said. "Looks like you two will get along just great. You two should get better acquainted."

"Ok." Luan said. "I can't to tell you some puns."

Luan walked down with her new dummy.

"You know, he looks kinda cute with that eyepatch on." Leni commented.

Meanwhile, Darcy was at her house having a tea with Mr. Coconuts. Darcy sat at one end of the table and Mr. Coconuts at the other end. There was complete silence until-

"Pardon? Did you say something?" Darcy asked.

Mr. Coconuts was just sitting there. This were awkward. Darcy looked around nervously before going back to drinking her tea.

At the Loud House, Luan was going to play badminton with Lars.

"What do you get when you cross a duck with a firecracker? A fire QUACKer!" Luan jokes. Lars/Luan groaned.

"You've got some big beaver teeth." Lars/Luan said.

"My teeth aren't that big." Luan said sensitively.

Lincoln, Leni, and Lucy came to watch Luan play badminton with Lars.

"Oh hey guys."

"Hey Luan." Lincoln said. "We came to watch you play a round of badminton with your new pal. Also, we'd like a blueberry-"

"Blackberry." Lucy said.

"Black blueberry pie." Lincoln said.

"With cherries." Leni added.

Lincoln, Lucy, and Leni sat down in their chair. Luan put Lars on the other side of the net as he was holding his racquet.

"This sound be fun. Mr. Coconuts and I love this game." Luan served the badminton over the net. Lars managed to hit it back to Luan. Although, he threw it a little too hard and knocked her down.

"Wow. Lars is pretty good for a dummy." Leni said.

"Luan, are you ok?" Lincoln asked.

Luan had a bump on her head. "Ow. Look what Lars did. I don't like him. He didn't laugh at my jokes and he's too goth for me."

"I guess we should find you another friend." Lucy suggested.

"I have a childhood puppet that Luan might like." Leni mentioned.

"Great Leni. And then we can have that pie." Lincoln said.

"Follow me." Leni said.

Leni led her siblings to her room.

"Alright, let me look under my bed." Leni said.

Leni looked under and bed, tossing out various items such as shoes, boxes, a puppet, and old magazines. She then found what she was looking for. It was a doll with red hair and a dress.

"Here it is. My mannequin puppet."

"Leni, that's a doll." Lucy corrected.

"I'd still use her as a puppet though."

Lincoln noticed a real puppet that Leni tossed out. "Wait, what about that one?"

Lincoln picked it up. It was a Dalmatian dog puppet with a collar and bow.

"Oh, that's Samantha." Leni said.

"What do you think Luan?" Lincoln asked.

"She's cute but she looks a little too high classy for me."

"Don't judge her before you get to know her. A dog is woman's best friend after all." He handed the puppet to Luan. "After a man that is. You'll get along just fine."

"And be careful, she's a bit of a biter." Leni said.

"Ok, you two need some quality time alone." Lincoln said. "We'll be outside."

Lincoln, Leni, and Lucy went out of the room. Lincoln closed the door.

"I wonder how this is going to go." Lucy said.

Suddenly, they heard Luan screaming.

"Sounds like they're having fun." Leni said.

They opened the door and saw Luan on the ground and the dog puppet biting and tugging on her ponytail. (She was being controlled by Luan, of course)

"Ah! Down girl down! She's mad I tell you, mad!"

"I don't understand this. Lincoln said.

"Luan needs to pick her own friend." Lucy explained.

"Of course. She needs someone she'll be interested in. I know just what to do."

Soon, Lincoln, Lucy, and Leni had set up a little get together party for Luan where she could make a new friend. Lucy led Luan to the basement where the get together was happening. Luan saw their sign.

"Here we are Luan." Lucy said.

"Friends for life get together?" Luan read.

"Yep. It sounds like the festivities have already begun." Lucy said as she could hear rock music playing. She went downstairs and the music was pretty loud. Lincoln was wearing a party hat and tie and Leni was wearing a party hat and bow tie.

"Lincoln!" Lucy yelled. "The music's too loud! Turn it down!"

"What? Oh." Lincoln went to turn the music down on the radio.

"I could've sworn that was Luna playing the guitar." Lucy said.

Luan came down nervously.

"Welcome to the Par-tay Luan!" Lincoln said. "Relax sis, this shindig is all for you. Go have some fun. Check out those cool friends." Lincoln pointed to a group of toy dummies and puppets in the back. Some of them sitting on a couch.

"Why are they all staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth?" Luan said.

"Maybe it's the size of your teeth." Lincoln said. "Just follow Leni and Lucy. They'll liven up this party."

Lincoln went over to them. "Quit standing around. Go and dance. Break the ice."

"But all the ice has melted." Leni said looking inside the punch bowl.

"Just go dance with someone." Leni went over to find a friend.

Lincoln pushed Lucy over. "Go on Lucy."

"I don't wanna."

"Do it for Luan."

Leni was dancing with a blonde dummy wearing a robe. "You have beautiful hair." The hair fell off. "Oh. It's a wig. Sorry." She put it back on him.

"You go Leni." Lincoln encouraged. He looked at Luan. "Leni just made a new friend."

"I miss Mr. Coconuts." Luan said with tears in her eyes.

Lucy was dancing with a football player dummy. "You're not exactly the guy I wanted to dance with."

"Same to you miss." The dummy said being controlled by Lucy.

Luan walked past her sisters who were dancing with their "friends" and went over to the find one herself. She walked up to a dummy with a baseball cap.

"W-Would you like to d-dance with me?" She asked sweating nervously.

In Luan's mind, the dummy said "Maybe later."

"Oh. ok."

In Luan's mind, a puppet greeted her. "Hi Luan."

"Oh, who are you?"

In Luan's mind, the puppet said "Wanna dance?"

"Dance? But I thought-"

In Luan's mind, the dummy wearing the baseball cap said "Don't you like me Luan?"

"Yes, I like you too." She said nervously.

Luan's vision began to waver as she saw all the dummies and puppets talking to her. Luan was getting more tense. "Too many friends!"

She made a run for it upstairs but Lincoln stopped her.

"Hey there Luan, come on. Relax." He dragged her into a beanbag. "Don't be a party pooper. This party's just getting started."

Just then, the rest of the siblings came down and so did Lisa's friend Darcy, who was invited when Lisa told her about the get together.

"It's party time!" Luna yelled as came with her guitar. "Time to rock out!

"Cool party. Check out the snacks." Lynn said.

"Party! Party!" The twins chanted.

"This music is literally lit." Lori said carrying Lily.

"Poo poo." Lily said.

"I hope there's chocolate." Lisa said.

"Someone show me to the dance floor." Darcy said carrying Mr. Coconuts.

Most of the siblings were dancing.

"Time to bust a move." Darcy threw Mr. Coconuts next to Luan. Luan saw him.

"Mr. Coconuts?"

Luna was playing her guitar.

"Luna, we've already got music." Lincoln mentioned.

"But I make the loudest music." Luna played her guitar loudly with her amp, blasting Lincoln into Leni.

"You wanna Dance Linky?" Leni grabbed Lincoln by the arms and spun him around. She let go causing him to crash into a wall. Luan was holding Mr. Coconuts as the two were silent. Lily, Lisa, Darcy, Lola, Lana, Lynn, Luna, and Lori formed a conga line.

"All aboard the conga line express." Lana said.

Mr. Coconuts decided to say something as Luan controlled him. "Luan, I've missed you. I'm sorry about that argument we had."

"I'm sorry too buddy." Luan said. "Let's be buddies again!"

"This party is getting out of control." Lincoln said to Lucy.

"Ooh! Let me in on that conga line!" Leni said.

Leni ran over but tripped over a lamp causing her to bump into Lincoln and Lucy and they all lost their balance and crashed into the the conga line. Everyone (except Luan) fell down.

"Ow! I think that's enough partying for one day." Lori said. "I broke a nail."

"Sigh." Lucy said. "I think my spirits are literally crushed."

The other siblings talked amongst themselves saying they had other things to do now for except for Lincoln, Leni, and Luan. The others left. Lincoln was left behind and saw Luan with Mr. Coconuts.

"Luan, you got your friend back." Lincoln said.

"Yeah, Thanks Lincoln. I owe you that pie."

"Yes!" Lincoln said.

Just then, they heard disco music and saw Darcy was wearing shades and dancing as Leni was doing the worm dance.

"Everybody's doing it! Bouncy bouncy bouncy. Oohwie! Oohwie! Oohwie! Oohwie!"

"Excuse me Lincoln, this is me and Mr. Coconut's song." Luan said and went to join the dancers.

Lincoln was in a happy mood and decided to join too. "Well, time to show off. Let's mambo!"

Lincoln, Luan, Darcy, and Leni were all dancing to the music. But Leni being a klutz, knocked the others down while she was dancing.

"In syncopated style."

"Dang it Leni!" Lincoln said.


	8. Chapter 8: Fool on the Loud

**Parody of the episode: Fool on the Loud. This fanfic will be featuring two characters I've never used before, Benny and Maggie. Also, I'd like to give credit to sthompson1 for the suggestion to use these characters. Enjoy.**

The doorbell rings at the Loud House.

"I'll get it." Luan said.

Luan was expecting her friends Benny and Maggie to come over. She opened the door and saw Benny.

"Hey Luan." He greeted.

"Hi Benny." Luan said. "Come inside."

Benny came in. "Hey, would you like some pop?"

"Sure." Luan took the can of pop but saw Benny snickering to himself. She realized what he was up to. She aimed the can at him and opened it. Soda pop sprayed onto him and the burst was so powerful it sent him onto the wall.

Luan laughs. "Nice try Benny."

Benny falls and a fart sound is heard. He blushed. "Excuse me."

"Ha Ha! What a gas! Got you again!" Luan said and pulled out a Whoopie cushion that Benny sat on. She laughed and Benny also laughed.

"Well, I better go clean myself now." Benny said.

"There's a towel in the kitchen." Luan said.

Benny went to go clean himself. When he went into the kitchen, he set off a trap and a bunch of eggs splattered onto him.

"Dang it."

Luan laughed more. Then the doorbell rang.

"That must be Maggie." Luan answered the door but there was no one there.

"Hello?" She then looked down and noticed a chocolate bunny in a basket. She picked it up and saw a note attached to it. She read it. "A sweet treat for a sweet tooth."

Maggie was seen behind the tree snickering since she set up the prank. Luan then heard ticking from the chocolate bunny and realized it was a prank. She threw it near the tree in their yard. It exploded.

"Dang it Luan!" Maggie's voice was heard a voice from behind the tree. Maggie came out revealing she was covered in chocolate.

"Maggie?" Luan snickered when she saw her covered in chocolate. Maggie stumbled backwards and Luan put a banana peel on the floor. Maggie slipped on it and fell in the mud. Luan laughed.

Benny came outside.

"Oh man, you guys are so easy." Luan laughed. She helped Maggie up and then sprayed water at her with her flower which got rid of the mud and chocolate. "Keep trying guys. Maybe one day you'll get lucky."

Luan went to shake hands with Benny but ended up shocking him. It's revealed Luan was wearing a joy buzzer. "What a shocking surprise! (laughs) I am truly the queen of all pranksters. I bet I can prank my family and others before sundown. Are you guys with me?"

"I'm in." Benny said.

"Like we have a choice." Maggie said. "But as long you don't prank me again."

"I promise." Luan said but behind her back she had her fingers crossed.

In the backyard, Lana and Lola were playing. Lola was driving around in her princess car and Lana was in the mud with Hops.

"I love mud." She said to Hops.

Luan, Maggie and Benny peeked from a corner of the house.

"Here are our first pigeons." Luan said mischievously. They hid. Just then, they heard the twins scream. They looked and saw the two blondes covered in sap except for their heads. They were stuck together now.

"Hey guys." Luan greeted.

"What happened? Are you guys ok?" Maggie asked.

"No. We just got pranked!" Lola said.

"When did you set up this prank Luan?" Benny asked.

"I didn't." Luan replied.

Benny noticed something on Lana's Head. "You've got a card on your head Lana."

Luan picked it up and read it. "Prank master?" There was also a picture of a jester on it.

"Yeah, a mysterious prankster has been going around pranking people." Lana said.

"And it's not Luan?" Maggie questioned.

"What? Someone's crowding me." Luan said.

Luan and her friends were walking down the neighborhood.

"This prank master must be an amateur." Luan said. "Everyone knows I'm the queen of pranks around here."

Just then, Leni fell from a tree dangling upside down with a rope tied around her leg. Her hair was all messy too. There were tree branches in it. The guys couldn't help but laugh.

"Leni, is that a new makeover?" Luan teased.

Just then, Leni's purse landed next to them. It had a card in it. Benny picked it up. They were surprised to see what was written on the card.

"The prank master?!"

"This is freaking me out." Benny said. "Here. You take this."

He shoved the card in Maggie's face. She slapped it away.

"I don't know where that's been!"

"Relax guys, anyone can fool Leni." Luan assured but then noticed Leni was gone which surprised her. "Aah! Leni!"

"It seems the prank master has the upper hand Luan." Maggie said nervously.

"Look, no prank master is gonna prank us." Luan said. "I'm not scared of this guy."

Luan looked around nervously though. "Um, I think I hear my mom calling me."

She makes a run for it. Benny and Maggie follow her. They see Lucy walking by. A hole opens up in the sidewalk and she falls down. The gang become terrified. They run somewhere else. They see a giant fly swatter that reveals Lynn under it. Everywhere they go they see someone getting pranked. Lincoln and Clyde find a present that has bees inside. Lori gets flung into the air by a big spring. Luna gets her rear end caught on a huge bear trap. Lisa gets trapped in a cage. While all this was happening, Luan, Benny and Maggie find prank master cards. They run into the park and jump into the sandbox. They cower in fear. Prank master cards rain down, surrounding them.

"The prank master's getting everyone!" Maggie said. "We're next!"

Back at the Loud House, Luan and her friends got themselves prepared. They got items around the house to use to protect themselves from any pranks, such as kitchen pots for hardware, trash can lids, and a golf club. Luan opened the front door and peeked around. She went out.

"Come on guys."

Benny and Maggie hesitated. "We don't wanna."

Luan dragged them out. They all stood very close to each other while walking around. "Stay alert guys."

Then Benny saw something. "Look!"

"What?"

"A dollar!" He saw a twenty dollar bill on the ground. "Finders keepers!"

Benny went to get it but Luan stopped him. "Stop Benny! It's a trap!"

"I agree." Maggie said. "It could be a bait for some crazy prank."

Luan went to poke it with her golf club. They shielded themselves but nothing happened. Luan pokes it again. It flew down the street and it lands somewhere else. They follow it.

"Seems like a regular dollar bill." Benny said.

"That's what they want us to think." Luan said.

"Maybe not." Maggie said.

"Hide! Here comes the twins." Luan said. They hid in a bush. The twins saw the twenty dollar bill.

"Look! A twenty dollar bill!" Lola exclaimed.

"Boy, are we lucky." Lana said and picked it up. "Let's save this to spend for later."

"You got it sis."

Lana put the dollar in her front overall pocket and the twins walked off. Luan, Benny and Maggie were surprised. They came out of the bush.

"You see, it was just a regular dollar bill." Luan said.

"You said it was a trap." Benny stated.

"Yeah, he's right." Maggie said.

"Well, I-Hey, what's that?" Luan pointed.

"What?" Maggie turned around. Luan gave her a wedgie. Maggie squeaked and Luan laughed. Benny threw mud at Luan and laughed. The two girls pulled his pants down. Suddenly, they heard laughing. They looked at the other side of the street and saw Luan's siblings plus Clyde all laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" Luan asked.

"You suckers fell for it!" Lynn said.

"Fell for what? The prank master didn't prank us."

"We pranked you. There was no prank master." Lincoln explained.

"Yeah, we just pretended to be pranked." Lola stated.

"We got you guys good." Lana said.

They all laughed and walked away. Luan growled.

"You're messin with the queen! I will get my revenge! Come on, let's go."

Back at the Loud House, the Loud siblings (except Luan) and Clyde are hanging out in the front yard. Luan, Maggie and Benny were in the garage.

"This is so perfect!" Luan said. "My siblings may have learned to pull some pranks, but nobody pulls one better than me."

Luan has made some kind of prank. It is revealed to be a giant balloon full of trash. Benny and Maggie helped her out.

"Guys, I present to you The Big Stinker Bomb! Giggles taught me how to make this."

"Well I gotta say, this may be your nastiest prank yet." Benny said.

"Literally." Maggie said.

"It's beautiful." Luan said. "I just need to add one more ingredient."

Luan put on some gloves and added a moldy toast to the balloon. Though the smell was so bad it melted the toast.

"Maggie, activate the sequence." Luan ordered. "Benny, open the garage."

Maggie got out a remote used to control the stink filled balloon. She put it in fly mode. Benny opened the garage. At the back of the balloon was a propeller which made it fly. There were also smaller balloons with strings tied to it. Luan cut a rope that was holding up the balloon. "Let's get stinky!" She laughs.

The balloon bomb started to float out of the garage but unfortunately it got stuck. Luan got worried. Maggie tried to get it out.

"Guys, we haven't got much time."

"Come on, push it!" Luan tried pushing it but it wouldn't budge. Maggie and Benny tried to help. The kids outside noticed the stink bomb.

"What the heck is that?" Clyde asked.

The stink bomb finally exploded. Trash spreads all over the front yard and the smell spreads through the neighborhood.

"I CAN'T BREATHE!!" Lola yelled.

"Dudes, i can smell Lily's diapers!" Luna yelled.

"Poo poo." Lily said disgusted.

"Eww!" Leni said disgusted.

The kids were covered in trash. They covered their noses and ran off. Except for Lana. She sniffed the air.

"Ah, the sweet smell of garbage."

Luan, Maggie and Benny were also covered in trash so the prank didn't go quite as Luan expected.

"I need to take a long shower after this." Maggie said twitching.

Benny threw off a diaper that was on his head.

"Looks like the joke's on...everyone." Luan said before passing out because of the strong stench.

 **Looks like Luan has a lot of cleaning to do before her parents come home from work. But I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter and I hope you liked Maggie and Benny's major roles. More chapters will be coming soon.**


	9. Chapter 9: For Your Loud Only

**Requested Fanfic. This is a parody of the episode: For Your Ed Only**

* * *

Outside, Lincoln was chewing bubblegum that he, Leni and Clyde bought. He was trying to blow a bubble but it wasn't easy for him. Leni came up to him.

"Lincoln, let me show you how it's done."

Leni chewed her gum and started to blow a bubble.

"Nice job Leni." Clyde commented.

However, Leni's bubble was getting too big.

"Uh Leni, I think you're overdoing it." Clyde gets stuck to the bubble. "Inhale Leni! Reverse your breathing!"

Leni's big bubble caused her to float off.

"Uh oh. I've got you Leni!" Lincoln grabbed Leni by the legs but he wasn't strong enough to pull her. He floated off into the air with Leni. "Help!"

"Guys! Stay calm!" Clyde yelled. "Man, that gum is powerful."

As Leni and Lincoln were floating in the air, Rusty who was skydiving got caught in the bubblegum bubble.

"Hey guys, you broke my fall. Thanks."

"Rusty, were you skydiving?" Lincoln asked.

"It's a thing I do once in a while."

Clyde was running after them. "Was Rusty skydiving?"

Lincoln looked down at Clyde. "Hey Clyde, this gum is indestructible."

They were now floating over the Loud House. Chandler rode by on his bike and he saw the trio floating in the air with the bubble. "Wow. It's a dork float. Would be real bad if that bubble popped." Chandler smiled deviously and got out a slingshot and a baseball from his backpack. He fired the ball at the bubble, popping it. "Awesome."

The three kids were falling. Lincoln and Leni landed through the roof of the house while Rusty landed underground in the front yard. He came out and found himself in China.

"Wow China! Just like in the cartoons."

Clyde entered the house and ran upstairs. "If I predicted correctly, they should have landed in-"

He went to the twins room. "-Lana and Lola's room!"

The room was now a mess. There were holes in the ceiling. Things were torn and things were broken. Leni came out from under a sheet. "That was fun!"

"Leni, do you realize you destroyed the twins room?" Clyde said.

Lincoln was lying on the ground.

"Lincoln, get up!" Clyde grabbed him by the arm. "We need to find tacks, fabric, and a lathe!"

Lincoln got up. It's revealed he was laying on Lola's diary.

"Hey, it's Lola's diary. Maybe we could read some of it."

"I don't think we should." Leni said.

"Leni's right." Clyde said. "A diary has a written record of one's private and personal thoughts. We definitely shouldn't read it."

"Ok, fine."

Then they heard the twins. They were walking upstairs.

"Ew! That's gross Lana!"

"What? Worms and spaghetti go great together."

"It's Lola!" Leni panicked. "We are totes dead!

"Quick! Let's get outta here!" Lincoln, Clyde and Leni run into the bathroom and the twins come up and go to their room. They see it's a complete mess and are shocked.

"Our room!" Lana said.

"Who did this?!" Lola yelled. "Wait til I get my hands on that person!"

Lola then became sad. "My room's a wreck!"

"Our room." Lana corrected. "Did Cliff scratch our beds?"

"Oh Lana, this is a full pager for my diary." She then realized her diary was missing. "MY DIARY!"

Clyde peeked out of the bathroom. "Guys, we're in trouble now. Who knows Lola will do to us!"

"Oh, I know what she's gonna do and it won't be fresh linen." Leni said.

"Well put Leni."

Lincoln looked like he had something behind his back.

"Let's leave before Lola finds out it was us." Lincoln said.

They sneaked downstairs and left the house. The twins were searching for the diary.

"I'm sure it'll turn up sis." Lana said.

Lola growled. "WHERE IS IT?!"

"Wow Lola, can you yell any louder?" Luna said as she was standing next to the twins room.

"Take a hike rock queen!" Lola retorted.

Lynn showed up too.

"Someone trashed our room and Lola's diary is missing." Lana explained.

"That's terrible dude." Luna said.

"Yeah, whoever did this is gonna be grounded." Lynn said.

"We can help you find it." Luna suggested.

"We can?" Lynn said. Luna elbowed her. "I mean sure, why not?"

Meanwhile, Lincoln, Clyde and Leni were in the backyard.

"Ok, so far there's no sign of Lola." Clyde said as he looked around.

Lincoln had his back turned. He was quietly laughing at something. Leni and Clyde noticed this. Lincoln then turned around smiling nervously.

"Is there something you'd like to share with us?" Clyde asked.

"Um, no."

Leni lifted up her brother by the leg and held him upside down.

"Hey!"

"Hand it over Lincoln." Clyde said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lincoln said.

Leni shook him and Lola's diary fell out from his shirt.

"Just as I thought. You ran off with Lola's diary." Clyde took the book. "There's drool on it and it's spine is bent. We can't return it in this condition."

"Good, cause I haven't started reading it yet." Lincoln took the book back and ran off.

"Wait up Lincoln." Leni and Clyde ran after him.

Somewhere in the neighborhood, Lincoln stopped and realized he needed something to unlock the diary.

"Hey Leni, you got a hair pin?"

"Sure Lincoln." Leni got one out and gave it to Lincoln. Clyde facepalmed. Lincoln unlocked the diary.

"You're gonna regret this Lincoln." Clyde said.

"Hey, listen to this." Lincoln read from the diary. "Dear diary, Clyde is so cute. Last night I dreamed that he got me a pony."

Lincoln and Leni couldn't help but laugh. Clyde was surprised though.

"Me and Lola?"

"Sitting in a tree." Leni said.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Lincoln teased.

"Look!" Leni pointed. "It's a drawing of Lincoln in his underwear."

There was a drawing of Lincoln in his underwear and he was also wearing a cape.

"That's me?" Lincoln flipped through the book rapidly and found more drawings of

him, revealing a flipbook.

"It seems Lola's into animation." Clyde said.

"I have to admit, this is impressive." Lincoln said.

The cartoon Lincoln is flying until his underwear gets caught on a branch. His butt is exposed. Leni and Clyde laugh at this but Lincoln is not amused.

Back at the house, the other siblings were outside looking the diary.

"Don't worry Lols. We'll find your diary." Lana assured.

Lori and Lynn searched the trash cans. Lucy looked in a tree. Luna and Luan searched the garage. Lisa looked on the roof. Lily looked in a bush. None of them found the diary.

"Sorry Lola, we literally don't see your missing diary." Lori said.

"I want my diary!" Lola sobbed and ran into the house.

"Speaking of missing, has anyone seen Lincoln and Leni?" Lynn wondered.

Back with the trio, Lincoln continued reading his little sister's diary. He just read about Leni's bad hairdo. "Boy Leni, i never thought i'd picture you that way."

Leni looked embarrassed.

"Lincoln, enough already!" Clyde begged. "My mind is riddled with bad images. I beg you, please stop reading the diary."

Suddenly, Lynn showed up behind them. "I knew it! You guys are busted!"

Lincoln grabbed Lynn. He managed to tie her to a tree with rope.

"Lincoln, you just reached a new low. I oughta pound you right now." Lynn said.

"Sorry Lynn, but I'm not gonna let you rat on us. Later." Lincoln ran off.

Clyde gave Lynn a pillow.

"I'm sorry too Lynn. Nos vemos mas tarde."

Clyde left. Lynn looked confused.

"Was that Spanish?"

"I can't believe you just did that to Lynn." Leni said.

"We've broken the law!" Clyde panicked. "Not only have we taken one's personal belongings, but add to it, abduction, and detaining one against their will! What do we do? What do we do? I could use some help here!"

"Wait, what were we doing again?" Leni asked.

"That's it! I suggest we sneak back into the house, we bury the book within its boundaries, and deceptively plead amnesia."

"I like it! That's so underhanded Clyde." Lincoln said. "Looks like I'm rubbing off on you."

"Never thought I'd come up with an idea like that." Clyde said a bit surprised.

In the neighborhood, the kids were still on the search for the diary. Lincoln, Leni, and Clyde went stealth mode as they tried to avoid being seen by the others.

"The coast is clear. Let's move out." Lincoln ordered.

They went back to the house and into the backyard. Lincoln found a lawn chair where he could hid the book. "This'll do fine." Lincoln put the book on the chair. He folded the chair but it wouldn't stay down. He tried a few more times. He then put his whole weight on the chair but this caused the book to fly off.

"Let's bury that book." Leni got out a shovel. The book flew towards Leni. "That book's attacking!" Leni ducked.

Clyde was wiping his glasses. "Dang dirty glasses." He put them back on and got hit with the diary.

"Are you ok Clyde?" Leni asked.

The diary was in his Afro. "Well, I guess I kinda deserved that." He took it out.

Lincoln and Leni suddenly looked scared.

"What?"

"Hey you! That's my diary!" Lola and Lana were behind the trio.

Leni hid behind Lincoln.

"You better not have read anything." Lola said snatching the book.

"Me? Never." Clyde said.

"You should be happy we found it for you Lola." Lincoln said.

Lola looked in the book. "There's drool stains all over these pages. You looked in my diary!"

"Way to go Clyde." Lincoln said sarcastically.

"Well, you guys are gonna get it now." Lana said as Lola stomped towards the trio.

"Do something guys! She's your sister!" Clyde said in fear.

"We're goners Clyde!" Leni cried.

"Did I mention Lola's been taking karate lessons from Lynn?" Lana stated.

Clyde backed away. "Isn't there anything we can do to make it up to you?"

"That's it! The gum!" Lincoln reached into Clyde's pants and got out a big packet of gum.

"She'll never go for the gum." Clyde said.

Lincoln gave the gum to Leni. "Leni, start chewing!"

Leni started chewing as Lola was getting closer. She started blowing a bubble.

"Blow Leni, blow!"

Leni blew a big bubble like earlier. Clyde and Lincoln grabbed onto Leni as they all floated up before Lola could get them.

"Hey! Get down here or I'm telling Mom!" Lola yelled.

"Please don't tell Mom!" Lincoln yelled back.

Unfortunately, their flight soon ended because a bird came and popped the bubble gum bubble with its beak.

"Mayday! We're going down! We're going down!" Clyde yelled.

The gang fell to the ground.

In Lola's room, it's shown that everything is fixed. The hole in the ceiling is now boarded up. Lola was writing in her diary.

Dear diary, my boneheaded brother and sister got what they deserved. Clyde looked so innocent though. But you know what they say, give those cute ones an itch and they'll take a mile.

In the garage, it's shown that Leni, Lincoln and Clyde are stuck in bubblegum together. Leni was chewing it.

"Once again we get stuck in some sort of crazy situation." Clyde stated.

"Yeah, and we have a guest tonight." Lincoln mentioned.

It's shown that Rusty is also stuck in the gum too. His head is stuck to Lincoln's foot and his feet are stuck to the wall.

"I like the way Rusty's stuck." Leni said.

"Boy, how the heck did I end up here?" Rusty complained. "I wanna be back in China."

"Can someone scrape this guy off my shoe?" Lincoln asked. "Please."


	10. Chapter 10: Fa La La La Loud

**Since it's December, it's time for a Christmas parody. This one is a parody of the episode: Fa La La La Ed**

* * *

The Loud siblings were at home while the parents were at work. Lori was left in charge. The kids were being rowdy as usual as Lori tried to get them to behave.

"Lynn, stop skating in the living room!"

Lynn crashed into the kitchen. There was a loud explosion. Lisa was doing science experiments and was covered in smoke.

"Lisa, can't you make your experiments less explosive?"

Loud music is heard. Luna is playing her guitar plugged into her amp.

"LUNA! TURN IT DOWN!"

The twins run into Rita and Lynn Sr's room. Lori sees them.

"Hey you two! Mom and Dad's room is off limits!" Lori follows them. The twins are in the parents bed. They were pretending to be the parents.

"Lori, must your father and I remind you to finish your homework?" Lola said posing as Rita.

"That's right young missy, a brain is a terrible organ to shovel." Lana said posing as Lynn Sr.

"Get out!" Lori jumped towards them but they moved out of the way.

"Look what I found! Sticky notes!" Lana was holding a pile of sticky notes that she found in the drawers.

"You put those back!" Lori demanded.

"You're in trouble Lana." Lola said.

"I'm a bad girl." Lana and Lola ran out of the room and upstairs. Lana put sticky notes on Lola. Lori ran after them.

"You two are literally gonna get it!"

Luan was chasing Leni with a fake spider. Leni ran up into the attic to get away. Luan followed her. Lori followed too.

"You guys!" Lori saw Leni on a tower of boxes. She found a box filled with-

"Bubble wrap!" Leni said.

"No! Not that!" Lori yelled.

Leni popped a bubble, making a hole in the ceiling.

"Leni!"

Leni pulled up the bubble wrap sheet and a fruitcake flew out of the box. It landed on Lori.

"What was that?" Leni asked.

"Looks like a hunk of baloney." Luan said and laughed.

Lori lifted the fruitcake. "Baloney? Don't you remember? It's the ancestral fruitcake."

The other kids heard the noise and climbed up the attic.

"Is that the ancestral fruitcake?" Lana said. "Man, even I have food that isn't that old."

"I remember clearly." Lucy said. "Pop Pop gave us that thing as a traditional holiday hand me down. He said for decades he parades the cake every Christmas."

Leni gasped. "Lucy, say that again!"

"For decades, he parades the cake every Christmas." Lucy repeated.

"Christmas!" Leni said excitedly. "I want a new sewing machine, a textbook, socks without sandals, a mannequin, and uh.."

"Get over it Leni! It's July!" Lola said. "But that Santa guy better put me on the nice list this year."

"Yeah right." Lana said. "Santa knows you're a naughty girl."

"Santa don't know squat!"

Leni grabbed Lola. "Don't ever say that Lola! Santa's making his list and checking it twice." She drops Lola.

Lincoln checked his phone. "Hey, I got a text from Girl Jordan. It's National Piggy Bank Day for kids and they're throwing a party."

"Piggy bank day?" Lisa questioned.

"You know, the day where everyone cracks open their piggy banks and spend their money."

"Of course. Now that's what I call a holiday." Lori said. "Money and spending. 'Tis the season."

"And thanks to the Master of Convincing, you should all have enough money." Lincoln said referring to himself.

"Well, let's go crack open our piggy banks." Lynn said.

The kids get excited and head downstairs.

"Oh Linky!" Leni holds out a mistletoe under Lincoln.

"Where'd you get that mistletoe? It's July."

"You know what this means Lincoln."

Lincoln rolled his eyes and let Leni kiss him on the cheek.

"Glad my friends weren't here to see that."

* * *

At the park, Piggy Bank day was being celebrated with the kids wearing pig snouts. Some were smashing their piggy banks open. Some were hanging out by the "Pig Out" buffet.

"Snort snort snort." Giggles greeted Jordan.

"Oink oink to you too." Jordan greeted back.

Giggles and Jordan stared at Chandler expecting him to use the pig greeting. Chandler hesitated since he thought the whole pretending to be pigs thing was lame. But he did wear a snout over his head.

"Oink. Yeah, whatever." He said.

Darcy was about to smash open her bank with a mallet.

"Hit it Darcy! Smash it into little pieces!" One of her friends encouraged.

"I can't do it! The guilt's too great for one person to bear!"

"Well then let's do it together."

"Ok."

They were about to break the pig but saw something big. The kids saw a vehicle with the Loud kids riding on it. It was driven by Luan. There was a giant metal pig on it.

"Greetings fellow party goers! Behold! My latest creation!" Lisa announced.

"Sweet doggies! That's one mighty pig!" Liam exclaimed.

"Just when I thought this day couldn't get any lamer." Chandler said.

"This baby here is the Piggy Bank Belly Bumper." Lisa explained. "It'll extract your cash without you having to smash your piggy banks."

"Really? That's great!" Darcy said.

"Also, it's Christmas and I bare stuff." Leni said carrying a box. She was wearing her Christmas sweater over her dress and a Santa hat. She pulled out a big candy cane. "Who wants a jumbo candy cane?"

"Leni, it's July." Becky said.

"And a partridge in a pear."

"What can I tell you?" Lori said to Becky.

"Ok, who wants their piggy bank belly pumped?" Lola asked. "How about you Darcy?"

"Um, I'm not sure." Darcy hesitated.

"Come on, you gotta try it." Lola took Darcy's piggy bank.

"Oh, this outta be good." Chandler said sarcastically.

Lola sets the piggy bank on the the vehicle. She presses a button and the pig is raised up. On the metal pig there's a trash can which is used for the snout. In the can there's a plunger. The plunger picks up the pig.

"Oooh!" Winston said.

"Cool!" Chaz said.

The piggy bank gets cleaned and it gets sent into the pig machine.

Lincoln went to the back of the machine "Now hang onto your snout because after this patented suction cycle your hard earned Christmas stocking will come out here."

Lincoln realized that Leni was putting stockings on the giant pig.

"Stocking ready for stuffing Santa!"

"Leni, enough with the Christmas stuff!" Lynn ripped the stockings off.

"But Lynn, I'm an elf."

Just then, they heard something from inside the pig. Lynn and Leni peeked in through the hole and saw Lisa. What they saw her about to do surprised them.

"How could I have been so gullible?"

"For shame." Leni said. "Santa, spare her!"

Lynn was strong enough to tear off part of the machine. Lisa was seen using the hammer about to smash Darcy's piggy bank. The kids were surprised as well as the Loud kids.

"Naughty girl Lisa." Leni scolded.

"My piggy!" Darcy cried.

Lisa got tears in her eyes. "Oh, I'm so ashamed!"

She cried on Leni. Leni patted her back and comforted her. "There there, Santa forgives you."

Lola looked guilty as the kids were staring but she put all the blame on Lisa.

"Oh Lisa, how could you?!"

"Wait, it's not what you think!" Lisa confessed. "Lola tricked me into doing this!"

"You tattletale! Why I-" Lola saw everyone glaring at her. She smiled nervously.

"Santa sees all Lola." Leni scolded. "A lump of coal for naughty Lola."

Leni gave Darcy her piggy bank back. "Here you go Darcy."

Darcy shakes it. "Piggy's belly's full."

"It's better to give than to receive Leni." Whitney said.

Leni smiles.

"That's why I'm giving Lola a knuckle sandwich!" Lynn was about to pummel her little sis but then heard a pig squeal. She saw Liam's pig William in front of her.

"William here must be amazed by your traditional Christmas pig." Liam said.

"It's not Christmas Liam." Lynn said.

"It's July!" Lola said.

"Not since my youth has the foul odor of the Christmas sow taunted my nostrils."

William squeals.

"That's the spirit William." Lana said who was now wearing a Santa hat and a snout.

"The scrolls proclaim that every time a pig squeals an angel gets its-"

"I'm a pig too William." Lana crawled. "See my snout?"

The pig tackled Lana in a friendly way and licked her. Lana laughed.

"Come and gather round me as I can't contain the Christmas mirth crawling up my back hair!" He pulled out a sack full of hush puppies. "You guys can help yourselves!"

The hush puppies smelled so good that the kids digging into them.

"Merry Christmas!" Liam also gave Lincoln his shirt and gave Clyde his pants, leaving him in his underwear.

"Gee Uh Thanks Liam." Lincoln said.

"Merry Christmas Liam." Leni said.

Lola became very annoyed. "IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS!!"

"I'm up for eggnog right now!" Chandler said.

"Me too!" Margo said.

"And some hot cocoa!" Chaz added.

"Chestnuts! I gotta have chestnuts!" Liam said.

The kids and the Loud kids except for Lisa and Lola all ran off to celebrate Christmas even though it was July. Lisa still felt bad for almost breaking her friend Darcy's piggy bank. Darcy came back to her .

"Lisa, Merry Christmas." Darcy offered her piggy bank to her.

"Darcy, why um, thank you but I couldn't." Lisa pushed the pig away.

"But it's Christmas."

Lola ran up to Darcy. "I'll take it! Merry Christmas Darcy!"

Darcy's friend came back to get her. "Hit the road Scrooge!"

She pulled Darcy along.

"I don't get it." Lola said confused.

"Don't you see Lola?" Lisa replied. "The spirit of Christmas isn't about getting presents. It's about giving joy, goodwill and peace on earth."

Lola got an idea. "I've got it! I know how to give the gift that keeps on giving."

"Sounds like our father's meatloaf." Lisa said.

* * *

"Thanks for inviting me to sing Christmas carols with you dudes." Luna said.

Luna, Lola, Lincoln, and Leni were walking down the neighborhood in their winter coats. Luna had her guitar. Lola's plan was to go door to door and singing Christmas carols to people to earn some cash.

"Yeah, this is the perfect gift to give to anyone." Lola said.

"Is there another reason why you wanted to do this?" Luna asked.

"Ok, fine. I wanted to make some cash too."

"But why do we have to wear these coats?" Lincoln said feeling a bit hot. "It's like 89 degrees out."

"It's to get into the Christmas spirit." Lola said.

"Well I like it." Leni said.

They then arrived at a house. It was Sam's House. They sang to her as Luna played her guitar.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells! Giving joy all day!" After the song, Lola held up her jar.

"That was awesome dudes." Sam complimented.

"If you liked our singing, give us some cash for more cheer will come your way!"

"Sure, why not?" Sam put in some quarters. Lola smiled.

They then sang at Mr. Grouse's house. He didn't look too amused though since it wasn't December yet.

"Deck The halls with boughs of holly! Fa la la la la la la la la! Give us cash or we'll never stop singing! Fa la la la la la la la la la!"

Mr. Grouse gave them cash.

Next the kids were at Liam's barn.

"We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christm-" The Louds stopped when they saw what Liam was wearing. It looked like some sort of weird elf costume. Luna walked away.

"Um, give us some cash?" Lola said.

"I have no cash right now fellers, but how about a strip of bacon." Liam put bacon in the jar, much to Lola's annoyance.

* * *

The Louds kids were now decorating the house. They even decorated the tree in their front yard by putting lights around it.

"Am I a good elf guys?" Leni asked.

"Santa would be proud Leni." Lincoln said. "You sure helped spread the spirit of Christmas into town."

"That's cause I'm in elf."

Lola came back with a sack filled with something. She was wearing a Santa hat.

"I'm back!"

Lola set the sack down and jumped inside it.

"Oh boy!" Leni went to look inside. "What did I get?"

Lola came out with a candy bar. "I love Christmas!"

"Lola, you got chocolate bars?" Lana said surprised.

"A Yuletide haul!" She passed one to Lana.

"This is great. Lola, you shouldn't have."

"I absolutely love chocolate!" Lisa said.

The Loud siblings gathered by Lola.

"That is literally sweet of you Lola." Lori said.

"Well I had to cash in that Christmas cheer." Lola said.

Leni took Lana's candy.

"Hey! That's mine candy bar Leni!"

"Relax Lola, there's plenty more where that came from." Lola turned around and saw her sack of chocolate bars were gone. "What the-? Where'd they go?!"

Then Lola saw Leni with the sack of bars. Leni was sitting in a chair and Darcy was sitting on her lap.

"And what would you like for Christmas Darcy?"

"A candy bar."

"Here you go." Leni shoves one in her mouth.

"Yummy."

Lola was shocked. "Leni!"

Then she saw other kids enjoying the candy bars Leni gave them.

"She gave away all my CHOCOLATE BARS!!!" Lola was going to attack Leni. Lana tried to hold her back but Lola was shown to be strongest when angry. Lola jumped at Leni but she dodged and Lola fell to the ground.

"Slow down Lola, I have a surprise for all of us." Leni went into the garage.

"No! You gave away my chocolate bars and-" Lola gasped when she saw a giant chocolate bar that was as big as their front door.

"Leni, how did you, where did you-"

"I got it at the mall. I got it for being a good employee." Leni explained. "It's for our family to share."

The Loud siblings were amazed at the sight of the candy bar.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Lynn said.

"What a big surprise!" Luan said.

"Chocolate!" Lisa yelled.

"Choc choc!" Lily said happily.

"Thanks Leni!" Lola hugged her. Leni hugged her back. The rest of the siblings gathered in a big group hug.

Leni looked at the viewers. "I gave to all and to all a good night!"

 **Looking forward to writing Jingle Jingle Jangle next.**


	11. Chapter 11: A Merry Royal Christmas

**Happy Holidays! Here's a parody I've been really looking forward to writing, Ed Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle. This is also the first chapter which has Ronnie Anne and Bobby in it, as well as other Casagrande members. Maybe we'll get more Ronnie Anne and Bobby in future chapters. It depends on the episode. With that info out of the way, hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

It's December in Royal Woods. The residents have put up their Christmas decorations for the upcoming holiday. Some people have already done their Christmas shopping as well. At the Loud House, the parents have stashed all the presents in the attic. But a certain Loud sister was looking for the gifts. It was Lola Loud. She couldn't resist not knowing what her presents were this year. She had searched under the Christmas tree, in a closet, in the garage, and in the basement. She then decided to check the attic. She used a flashlight and looked around but couldn't see any presents.

"Where are those dang presents?" She was about to give up but then she stepped on a loose floorboard. She tore off a big chunk of the floor and found the gifts. "The Christmas stash!"

She put the flashlight on a pile of boxes so it would point at the presents and she could get see them clearly. She opened one of her presents. Inside was a snow globe.

"Lame." She said throwing it away. She opened another one to reveal-

"A dickie? They still make these things?"

She ripped open another gift. She got out suspenders.

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

The next present she got was a learning kit. Lola fumed. "THESE PRESENTS STINK!!"

She threw the kit at the boxes and it knocked off the flashlight. Lola continued to tear open other presents.

* * *

Meanwhile in the city, the Casagrandes were celebrating their Christmas in their apartment. Bobby was texting Lori. Carlota was making Christmas hats. Carlino, Carlos Jr. and Carlitos were decorating the Christmas tree. Ronnie Anne was talking to Lincoln on the phone. Ronnie Anne's grandmother Rosa was baking. Her grandfather Hector was performing Feliz Navidad on his guitar. Her uncle Carlos was testing out new Christmas lights. Her aunt Frida was wrapping presents. Her mom was assisting Rosa with the baking.

"So lame o, how's the holiday going for you?" Ronnie Anne said.

"It's great." Lincoln's voice was heard. "How are things going for you?"

"Oh, it's the usual. Carlota is making Santa hats, my grandma is baking desserts, my cousins are decorating the tree. Etcetera."

The three boys have decorated the tree with snacks from Ronnie's grandma, and sleigh bells. They have put the star on top too.

"The tree's all set." Carlos Jr. said.

"Great job guys." Bobby encouraged.

"Papa Noel hats are all ready." Carlota was holding the hats.

Everyone took one to wear.

"Well, I hope you're enjoying your stay." Lincoln's voice was heard on Ronnie Anne's phone.

"Oh, I am."

"I gotta go. Talk to you later. Merry Christmas."

"Same to you." Ronnie Anne said before hanging up.

"I've got another batch of desserts ready." Rosa said carrying a tray of cookies and setting them on a table.

"You've really outdone yourself this year Mom." Maria said.

The kids all took a cookie. Carlino went to look at his presents but his mom stopped him.

"Carlino, what have I told you?" She said. "We don't open gifts until tomorrow."

"Ok, fine." He groaned. But when she wasn't looking, he sneaked one of his gifts into his hoodie.

Carlos was setting up the Christmas lights he created.

"Hey uncle, are you sure this is gonna work?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, remember what happened last year?" Ronnie Anne said. "We got a blackout."

"Trust me, after lots of research I've invented the perfect lights." Carlos said. He plugs them into the wall. They light up. The Christmas lights form to say "Casagrandes." They also change colors.

"Nice work dear." His wife complimented.

"It's nice that we can all celebrate Christmas together this year." Maria said.

"Yes. This calls for a sing along." Hector announced. "Feliz Navidad, anyone?"

Hector played his guitar and everyone, including the pets, gathered around and sang. They were ready for Christmas.

* * *

Back at the Louds, the family was also looking forward to the holidays, except for one. The parents were at a gift exchange for workers. Outside, Lincoln, Lana, and Lynn had made a snow fort which looked like a castle.

"I gotta say, this is pretty impressive." Lincoln said.

"I'll say." Lana said.

"Well, that was fun." Lynn said. "But we should head inside for some hot cocoa now."

The three headed inside.

Inside, Luan was wearing her deer antler costume. She had dressed Lily up as a deer.

"Aw Lily, you look a-DEER-able!" Luan puned and laughed. "That's another Christmas pun."

Lucy was writing a Christmas poem. Luna is playing the song jingle bell rock on her guitar. Lisa has invented a "snowbot" which was used to create snowmans.

"Success! My snowbot works!" Lisa said. The snowbot made a snow version of Santa.

Lincoln noticed Leni hanging socks on the chimney. She was wearing one of her Christmas dresses.

"Leni, why are you hanging our socks?" He asked.

"Because I'm in charge of hanging the sockings." She answered.

"STOCKings. Not sockings."

"Oh." Leni realized.

"Hey guys, the hot cocoa's ready!" Lori announced from the kitchen.

The kids went into the kitchen to get a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows.

"Ah, this is some good cocoa dude." Luna said.

"Yes, the family enjoyed their hot cocoa." Lucy said. "It prevented them from going loco."

The kids stared at her puzzled.

"I'm working on a Christmas poem." She explained.

"Well, this holiday makes me all fuzzy inside." Leni said happily.

"Tis the season Leni." Lisa replied.

"Tis?"

"The warmth Leni. That fuzzy feeling is the spirit of the holiday."

"Spirit?"

"From here Leni." Lori touched Leni's chest.

"My chest organ?"

"You certainly know how to tax one's patience Leni." Lisa replied.

"Wait, where's Lola?" Lana wondered.

Just then, Lola entered the kitchen looking upset.

"Oh, there you are sis. We're having hot coco."

Lola took a cup and stormed off into the living room. The others looked confused. They followed her.

"What's wrong Lola?" Lincoln asked.

"What's wrong is that this is going to be the worst Christmas ever!" Lola complained.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I found the Christmas stash and all my presents are terrible! And you guys all got good presents!"

"Hold up." Lynn said. "You found the stash and you opened our gifts?!"

"Well...I was curious."

"And I literally thought I had that habit." Lori said.

"Our parents trusted us and you shattered that trust." Lisa scolded. "Oh, how can you be so selfish?"

"Hey, you know it and I know it." Lola complained. "Christmas is the one time of the year where parents are supposed to get you everything you want and I didn't get that! I mean, I got a learning kit!"

"As much as I like learning kits, the true meaning isn't about materialistic needs or selfish wants. Rather it comes from here." Lisa touched Lola's chest.

"My chest organ? I mean, my heart?"

"I'm sure Santa will bring you a good present." Leni said.

Lola buried her face in her hands. "It's like a nightmare before Christmas! A learning kit and suspenders? What were Mom and Dad thinking?"

Luan snuck a lightbulb in the back of Lola's dress. Lola glared at her.

"Well, I think you should adopt a better attitude." Lincoln said.

Lola mocked him. "I think you should adopt a better attitude."

She then got an idea. "Adopt. That's it! I wake up and it's Christmas morning. But I'm in someone else's house and I cash in for their better presents! I'm putting myself up for adoption guys!"

Lola grabbed her coat and went to the front door.

"Adoption?" Lana said surprised.

"But Lola, you can't forsake your own family!" Lincoln said. "It's Christmas!"

"That's right! And I want presents!" Lola went outside.

"You'll regret this Lola!" Lincoln warned.

"Don't turn you back on the true meaning of Christmas dude!" Luna said.

"Santa's not gonna like this one bit guys." Leni said.

* * *

Lola was walking through the snow. She decided she would go to Clyde's place.

"I wonder what presents I'll get this year." Lola said to herself. "Maybe a credit card or a new mirror."

She suddenly fell off the snow bank. She got up and saw the snow around Clyde's house has been completely cleared away.

"Where'd the snow go?" She wondered.

She walked up to Clyde's house and knocked on the door. Clyde answered. He was wearing a tin foil crown and a light blue robe.

"Happy holidays Clyde." Lola greeted.

"Hey Lola." Clyde greeted.

"Who are you supposed to be?"

"Jack Frost. I dressed up as him as part of a new Christmas tradition."

"I see. Listen Clyde, it's the darnest thing. I was just walking down the street when a reindeer swoops down and lands right beside me."

Lola was lying but Clyde bought it.

"No way Jose!"

"Way! And he had a note in his mouth. A telegraph from Santa!"

"Right on!"

Lola pulled out a piece of paper which was really a math test from school. "Santa said he got so fat over the summer that he can't fit down my chimney. So he's gonna bring my presents to your house."

"My house? Well come on in!"

Lola smiled and walked inside. She was surprised to see that his whole house was covered in snow and ice.

"So let me guess, the snow and ice is part of your family tradition." Lola said.

"Yep." Clyde replied.

His dads were in the living room. They were dressed as eskimos.

"Oh hey." Harold greeted. "You're one of Lincoln's sisters."

"Hello." Howard greeted. He looked at Clyde. "Please tell me she didn't bring her sisters along."

"She didn't." Clyde replied.

"Phew." Harold said relieved.

"Lola said Santa is dropping gifts at our house." Clyde told his dads.

"Well make yourself at home Ms. Loud." Howard said.

"Do you wanna warm up by the fire?" Clyde asked Lola. "Well you can't cause it's made of ice. See?"

He flicked the ice fire. Lola slipped and fell on the ice.

"Are you ok? Do you need first aid?" Harold asked concerned.

"I'm fine." Lola said getting back up. She tried to keep her balance as she slid across the icy floor. She bumped into a white Christmas tree and saw the presents trapped in a block of ice.

"Presents!" She grabbed one. "Hey, you guys got an ice pick? I wanna see what I got."

"Ice pick?" Clyde said.

Cleopatra dressed as a snowflake glared at Lola and meowed something to Clyde. Clyde could understand cat language.

"Oh yeah. We have an ice pick." Clyde said to Lola.

"So what are you waiting for? It'll take all night to crack these babies open."

Clyde took the present and he pulled on a rope hanging on the ceiling.

"Uh, what's that?" Lola asked. She saw the floor opened under her leading to a giant ice slide. She fell down and slid on the slide screaming. At the end of the ride, Clyde opened the front door and Lola flew out landing in the grass. Clyde and Cleopatra walked up to her.

"We're onto you Lola!" Clyde scolded. "Cleopatra had you figured from the get go. You're nothing but a greedy Scrooge, trying to steal out Christmas!"

Clyde and Cleopatra walked back inside. Lola got up.

"Well who needs you guys? I'm got other Christmasses to attend to!"

She stormed off.

* * *

At Liam's barn, Liam was dressed in a sheep costume and was hanging meat on his roof which he used for decorations. He was standing on a cow and got off. Lola came to his place. She walked up to him with a sad face. He saw her.

"Wow is me. Woe is me."

"Oh howdy, Lincoln's sister." Liam greeted. "Why the sad face?"

"My family got attacked and robbed and the robbers took all my presents." Lola lied.

Liam bought it. "Scoundrels. I'm wise to the ways Of thievery. Still, they're a higher caste than me. I can't help you in this matter."

Liam started to walk away but Lola blocked his path.

"No, wait! I beg you!" She said. "I've got no Christmas Liam. No presents, no family, no nothing. Can I stay with you? Please Liam."

"Well I'd hate to see you alone on Christmas." Liam said. "Come! Grab the tail of my sheep of joy and join my family tradition and enjoy the season of mirth!"

Lola looked weirded out by this. She was dragged inside his house where she saw more meat decorations.

"Feast your eyes on this! A celebration of whatnots, knick knacks, and lots of meat!"

"You can smell it a mile away cowboy." Lola then noticed a picture of someone on the wall. "Who's the bearded troll?"

"You crack me up missy." Liam laughed. "Surely you recognize the great Yeshmiyek. She lives in a desert where she prepares the holiday feast for good males and females."

Once again Lola was weirded out. Liam gave her a cowbell.

"Let us sing in honor of her great stewing!" Liam got out his banjo and began to sing.

"In the driest desert, there lives a bearded maiden fair, whose kitchen pot is bigger than her size of underwear, hey!"

Liam pointed at Lola. Lola looked confused but then began playing the cowbell Liam gave her. Liam continues singing his song.

"Yeshmiyek who peels the root and grinds the sausage with her boot!

Yeshmiyek who cures the meat and gives us all a tasty treat!

Yeshmiyek who salts the pork and stabs it with her silver fork!

Yeshmiyek who cuts the cheese and gives the loaf of bread a squeeze…"

Liam's tone becomes sinister.

"But should your chores be never done, your feeble mind too weak to learn, Yeshmiyek will surely come and throw you in the fire to burn!"

Liam's tone became happy again.

"Yeshmiyek who feeds the chicken and gives it something finger lickin!"

Yeshmiyek who rides the mare and cuddles it with lots of care!"

Lola interrupts him. "Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!"

"I don't take requests Lola. Sorry."

"So when do I rake in on the cool presents?"

"Oh yeah. That reminds me." Liam gave her a cowboy hat made out of meat. "It's a hat made out of meat. All our presents are made out of meat this year."

Lola frowned and dropped it. "I'll pass."

"Suit yourself." Liam continued to sing.

"Yeshmiyek who bastes the lamb and spits the glaze on every ham!"

"Yeshmiyek who bakes the strudel, pickles feet and strings the noodle!"

"Yeshmiyek-"

Lola leaves the barn annoyed. She heads to another place. "What's a guy gotta do to get a normal Christmas around here?"

* * *

At the Loud House, the kids were sitting in the living room doing their activities.

"I wonder where Lola is." Lana said decorating the tree with Hops. "I hope she's ok."

"I'm sure she's fine." Lincoln said. "But there must be some way we can show her what the true meaning of Christmas is about."

"Hey guys, I finally hung up all the stockings." Leni announced.

The stockings were actually Santa hats.

"Leni, those are Santa hats." Lori sighed. "Nevermind. It's close enough."

"Sigh. Our sister may be lost and confused." Lucy said. "I just know deep down inside of her a flame flickers for the blessings of this holiday."

"Perhaps it's time for the man to come up with a plan." Lincoln referred to himself. He began to think. "I've got it!"

"Well let's hear it." Lynn said.

"Alright, everyone gather round."

The sisters gathered around and Lincoln explained his plan.

* * *

Lola arrived at a friend's place. It was Winston's mansion, the boy she had a crush on. The place was decorated in Christmas lights.

"I wish I had something better to wear but this'll do." Lola said to herself.

She rang the doorbell. A butler answered the door.

"Hello. Can I help you miss?"

"I'm here to see Winston. I'm one of his friends."

Just then Winston showed up. "Hello Lola, Merry Christmas!"

He was wearing a Christmas sweater which Lola thought he looked cute in.

"Aw, you look cold. Why don't you come on in?"

He dragged her into the living room where there were tons of presents under a Christmas tree.

"We've got lots of candy canes and I'm sure I can find you a present or two."

"I like your Christmas!" Lola said excited.

"But before you get any gifts, eggnog?" Winston gave her a cup of eggnog. "You have to help me put this up."

He was holding a mistletoe above his head. "I'm having a Christmas party later. And you know what happens when someone catches you under the mistletoe, don't you Lola?"

Lola drank her eggnog and blushed. She then spit out her eggnog onto Winston. Winston pointed her out the door looking mad. Lola smiled nervously as she took a present but Winston took it back. He closed the door. Lola stormed off.

* * *

Lola was walking to another house.

"So if Christmas is about giving, how come I ain't getting?"

Suddenly, a present hit Lola in the face. "Ow! Ooh! A present!"

She didn't see the rope attached to it. The present was yanked away and Lola followed. "Where's it going?" It led to a tree and went up. Lola ran into the tree.

"Hark the Herald angels sing Lola." Lincoln came down dressed as an angel with a rope tied to him that was hanging from the tree. "I bring you tidings of great joy."

The other sisters appeared dressed as shepherds. Lynn was holding the rope.

"An angel showed up as the shepards counted their animals for the night." Leni said.

Cliff, Geo, Charles and Walt appeared wearing antlers.

"Aw, you guys look so cute." Lana said to the pets.

"Forsake your journey Lola!" Lincoln continued. "You are not beyond the path of redemption. You can still return to the path of goodwill and peace among your fellow-" Lola threw a snowball at him.

"Nice shot Lola." Lynn said.

Lola took the hook from Lynn and used it to trip her, causing her to let go of the rope holding Lincoln and Lincoln fell in the snow. Lola took the cardboard wings off Lincoln's back and walked off.

"It's not too late to embrace the joy of the season Lola!" Lincoln yelled.

"Fa la la la la Lola!" Leni added.

Lola was now at Darcy's house. She rung the doorbell. Darcy answered.

"Merry Christmas!" Darcy greeted. She was wearing a sweater.

"Hey Darcy girl, check out the wings!" Lola turned around to show her the wings she was wearing.

"Are you a Christmas angel?"

"How'd you guess? Every year Lola the Christmas angel shares with someone else in the spirit of gift giving. And this year happens to be your year. What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine. Get it?"

She saw a Christmas tree. "Hello!" She lifted up the tree but saw nothing under it. "Hey, where are the presents?"

"Come on! I have to show you something!" Darcy went into the kitchen and Lola followed her.

"Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" Lola said holding out her hands. Darcy didn't give her anything. Lola frowned. "What?"

Darcy pointed to her gingerbread Christmas town on the table.

"So?"

"It's my Winter Wonderland Christmas village, silly." Darcy explained. "Nothing says joyeux noel like the gingery smell of gingerbread queens having their sugar glazed snow parade."

"Smells good enough to eat." Lola commented.

Darcy went to another table with desserts. "And look at this!"

"Finally! Presents?" Lola rushed over eagerly.

"Yes, the presents of delicious decorative baking." Darcy giggled. "Why settle for baste pats of butter, when using only simple cookie cutters, one can create a festive holiday assortment of butter shapes to smear onto fresh, toasty buns?" Darcy showed Lola a plate with three butter shapes: a giraffe, a candy cane, and a snowman. "Oops, having my own Christmas angel is so exciting! I have to go pee! Be right back!"

Darcy walked off to use the bathroom. Lola stared at the food and then back at the gingerbread town.

"Did you know that you can make snowmen using ice cream?" Darcy asked when she returned. But then she looked shocked. "MY CHRISTMAS VILLAGE!"

Lola had eaten the whole town and was still eating a piece.

"It's all gone! You ate it all!" Darcy yelled setting her head on the table.

"I gotta hand it to you, these cookies are to die for." Lola said.

"You!" Darcy yelled angrily, pointing at Lola. She ran off. Lola finished the last gingerbread piece. Darcy came back with her cousin.

"She's the one who ate my gingerbread village!" Darcy accused.

Her cousin glared at Lola. She carried Lola outside.

"You're outta here!"

"Just a couple of presents!" Lola begged. "It's Christmas for Pete's sake!"

The older girl threw the blonde into a snowman. Darcy dropped the wings outside.

"And stay out." Darcy and her cousin went back inside.

The other Loud siblings have followed Lola, still wearing their costumes. Lola is walking away.

"Oh Lola, why?" Lincoln said. "Guys, it seems like our efforts have no effect on Lola's complete lack of Christmas cheer."

Leni picked up the fake wings. "Just a couple of guys wearing robes on Christmas Eve, huh guys?"

"So what do we do now dude?" Luna asked Lincoln.

"I still have one more trick up my sleeve." Lincoln said. "Let's go guys."

Lindsey Sweetwater was skiing down a hill and then rode to her house. She took of the skis and went inside. Lola had managed to follow her.

"Hey Lindsey, wait up!" Lola looked through the window and saw all the presents. She knocked on the door. Lindsey answered.

"What do you want?"

"Uh, adopt me sis, it's Christmas!"

"Yeah right." Lindsey headed back inside.

"No wait! It's my family!" Lola fibbed. "They locked me outside and said I need to get a gift for one of them. If I come back with no gift, they'll cut my nails! Just one present Lindsey! Nails! Gone forever! I swear!"

"Wow, you're pathetic." Lindsey replied. "Fine. Wait here."

Lindsey went to get a present.

"What a sucker." Lola said to herself.

Lindsey came back with a gift. "Here. I hope you like it."

Lola snatched it. "Yes! Finally!" She opened it and a punching glove hit her in the face, sending her into the snow.

"Merry Christmas loser!" Lindsey laughed and went back inside. Lola got up. She now had a black eye.

"Let me Lindsey, please! All I want is a good Christmas!"

Lola got no response. At this point, Lola gave up and decided to just go home. As she walked, she could see other people enjoying the holiday in their homes. Lola was getting cold now. She wasn't sure where she was going. She went by a Christmas tree that was in the middle of snow. One of the lights went. Lola noticed this. She then got an idea. She took a lightbulb from her dress that Luan snuck in earlier. She replaced the old lightbulb with the new one. It lighted up and Lola walked away. But then the tree glowed brighter catching her attention. The other Louds ran up to Lola looking happy.

"Lola, I'm so proud of you!" Lincoln said.

"You did it!" Lana cheered.

"A big hug for my little sis!" Leni pulled Lola into a bone crushing hug.

"What did I do?" Lola asked.

"You replaced the bulb Lola." Lucy said.

Leni put her down.

"So?" Lola said. "The dang tree needed a light so I put one in. Big whoop."

"Don't you see Lola?" Lisa said. "You made an unselfish gesture. You gave willingly of your heart without thought of your own gain."

"This is the gift of giving Lola!" Lincoln stated. "This is what the spirit of Christmas is all about!"

"It is?" Lola said. The siblings nodded. "You know, that didn't hurt one bit guys. Cause Christmas isn't about what you find under a tree, Christmas is about what you find in your heart!"

Other folks gathered around.

"That tree glows like an angel." Darcy commented.

"It's beautiful." Lindsey said.

"Awesome, to say the least." Rusty agreed.

"Definitely better than the tree I have." Liam said.

"Guys, we need to take a picture of this." Howard said to Clyde and Harold.

Everyone was amazed by the tree. Suddenly, a big sack fell from the sky and landed on Lola. The guys looked up to see Santa riding by on his sleigh.

"Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!"

Lola popped her head out. "Santa?"

"Santa! Take me with you!" Leni yelled running after the sleigh.

Lola looked in the sack. She saw a bunch of presents and a note. She read it out loud. "Happy holidays to the loudest family around, the Loud family! From Santa Claus."

"Ho Ho holy cow!" Luan said excitedly.

"This is literally amazing!" Lori said.

"Poo poo." Lily said.

Lola smiled happily. "Jackpot!" She carried the sack and ran off with it. Her siblings were surprised at this.

"Hey!"

"Lola!"

"Get back here!"

Lola ran and her siblings ran after her. Lisa went to Leni who was staring up at Santa flying.

"Leni, Lola has stolen Saint Nicholas' satchel of intermutual Yuletide bestowals!" Lisa explained. Leni looked confused.

"The presents Leni! Lola's taken the presents!"

"Oh no!" Leni and Lisa ran after their siblings.

Lola found a nearby shed and went inside. She locked the door but an angry Lynn used her strength to kick it down. The others came in.

"Lola, how could you do this at this time of year?" Lincoln said. "Reconsider your actions!"

"Yeah dude! Not cool!" Luna added.

"What is it to be young lady, naughty or nice?" Leni said walking inside.

"I'm the one who gave willing to her heart!" Lola snapped. "These presents are mine!"

Lynn dropped her pole. "You greedy little brat!"

Lynn tackles Lola and they get into a fight over the sack. The sisters join the fight.

"Ladies please!" Lincoln said, trying to break up the fight but he was ignored.

"Good will? Peace on earth?"

Just then, he heard a voice. "Kids! There you are!"

It was from Lynn Sr. He and Rita found them.

"I thought those fighting sounds sounded familiar."

The kids stopped fighting.

"What are you kids doing here anyway?"

Lola looked guilty and started to confess. "Ok, it's time I came clean. Mom and Dad, I found the Christmas stash even though you told us to stay away from it. But I just had to know what my presents were and I didn't like any of them. I'm sorry."

"Lola honey, we have something to confess too." Rita said. "We gave you the wrong gifts. Your father and I found that at our employee gift exchange."

"But we still have on of your gifts." Lynn Sr. added. "It's something special you've wanted to get this year."

"Well, that's all I wanted." Lola admitted. "Just a good gift. And a good Christmas."

"But check it out, Santa gave us presents too." Lana said.

"Santa was here?" Lynn Sr. "Dang it! And people told me he was just a myth."

"So Lola, now will you be willing to share the presents?" Lincoln asked.

"Of course Linky. It's time I stop being so selfish."

Luna looked in the sack. "Looks like Mom and Pops got presents too."

"Ooh, I wonder what I got." Rita said.

"Well, What are we waiting for?" Lola said. "Let's open presents!"

"Yeah!" The others cheered.

The Loud family took their gifts and started opening them. Outside, some Royal Wood citizens were singing Christmas carols.

"We wish you a Merry Christmas (x3) and a happy new year! Good tidings we bring, to you and your king! Good tidings for Christmas and a happy new year!"

* * *

 **Well, this was fun to write. It's one of my favorite EEnE episodes and one of my favorite Christmas specials. And as you can see, the Louds got a better ending than the Eds. I decided to skip the scenes with the Kankers because I just didn't care for them. But please leave a review and have a Merry Christmas!**


	12. Chapter 12: The Loud Touchables

**Good news! Today is the 20th anniversary of Ed Edd n Eddy! It's one of the best shows on Cartoon Network. It's one of the longest running shows too. I suggested I'd do a parody of the first episode: The Ed Touchables. So, here it is.**

* * *

The story starts with Lisa in her room. She is busy labeling things like her bed, the doorknob, her beakers and etc. She felt the need to do this because she didn't want to sleep in an unlabeled environment.

"Finally finished." Lisa said to herself. "Everything in my dwelling has been labeled. Now I can sleep in a labeled environment. Time for a bathroom break."

Lisa went to use the bathroom. While she was gone, someone had sneaked into her room and then left. Lisa came back to her room.

"Hmm…" She inspected her bed. "My whoopie cushion looks a little out of order." She then realized something. "Wait a minute...I don't own a whoopie cushion."

She saw that her bed label was now labeled "whoopie cushion."

"I could've sworn that was labeled as a bed."

She then noticed her closet was labeled as kitchen.

"What's going on here?"

Next, she saw all her beakers were labeled as toilets. Lisa got mad.

"Alright, who's been changing my labels?"

Luan is heard laughing outside as she could not hold in her laughter.

"Luan!" Lisa was right next to her. "You did this, didn't you?"

"Look on the bright side Lisa, at least you won't ever have to wait in line to use the bathroom." Luan laughed.

"Put my labels back to their rightful designations!" Lisa demanded.

"Ok, ok! Don't have a cow!"

Luan went to replace the new labels with the old ones. Lisa went to her desk. "Well, at least my magnifying glass is still-"

Lisa gasped when she saw her magnifying glass was missing. "It's gone! Luan, someone took my magnifying glass! I feel so violated!"

"Lisa, what's going on?" Lincoln showed up as he heard the commotion.

"My magnifying glass is missing!"

"Maybe you misplaced it." Luan said.

"Never!" Lisa became overdramatic. "What has become of this world? Is nothing sacred? Everything is soiled! Who would do such a thing? Who would violate the sanctity of somebody's room with their filthy hands? Guys, I feel sick! I feel nauseous! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

Luan whacked her with a pillow.

"Thanks, I needed that."

"Anytime sis."

"You know, you can't have somebody touching your stuff." Lincoln said. "It just isn't right. We should go search for it."

"Good suggestion Lincoln." Lisa said.

When Lisa wasn't looking, Luan put a toilet label on her bed and snickered.

Downstairs, Leni was watching a shopping channel on TV. She didn't have her sunglasses on. Lincoln and Lisa walked downstairs and saw her.

"Hey Leni." Lincoln greeted. "Have you seen Lisa's magnifying glass?"

"Nope. Have you seen my sunglasses?"

"Leni, they're on your-" Lisa noticed. "Oh. They're not on your head this time."

Just then, they heard loud stomping. It was an angry Lola who came downstairs. She glared at the three.

"Where is SHE?!"

"Where's Who?" Lincoln asked.

"My dolly. Polly LuLu, that's who." Lola started looked in the sofa cushions. "I need my dolly."

"But Lola, I didn't touch her." Leni said.

Lola jumped on her and started to attack, causing Leni to stumble. "Liar! Don't you lie to me you dolly stealer!"

They bumped into Lincoln and Lisa and fell down on the floor.

"Ya gotta love these family moments." Lincoln groaned.

"You guys know what happens when you make me mad!" Lola stated.

"You know, someone has touched my stuff too." Lisa said.

"Don't you see what's going on here?" Lincoln said as everyone got up. "It's epidemical. First Lisa's magnifying glass goes missing, next Leni's sunglasses, and then Lola's doll. Someone or something is touching everybody's stuff. We've gotta spread the word and tell everyone there's a serial toucher on the loose."

"What cereal was stolen?" Leni asked. "I hope it's not that Zombie Bran stuff."

"No Leni." Lisa facepalmed. "A serial toucher is someone who has committed the act of touching others stuff, often repeatedly."

"So what's your plan Lincoln?" Lola asked.

"I'm glad you asked."

* * *

Soon, Lincoln was speaking into a megaphone. He and his sisters are in the living room. "Attention! May I have everyone's attention please?"

"Lincoln, stop yelling into that thing." Lori said. "We can hear you."

Lincoln threw away the megaphone. "Guys, there's a serial toucher on the loose."

"That serial toucher took my Polly Lulu!" Lola ranted.

"Yeah, and my Plungey!" Lana added.

Everyone started chatting about the things they lost.

"Quiet! Quiet!" Lincoln said. "I've got it all under control!"

"And what are you gonna do about this?" Lynn questioned.

"I'm gonna solve this case and get everyone's stuff back." Lincoln declared.

"Well I'd pay you in chocolate to see that."

The others agreed.

"Chocolate huh? Ok, we've got a deal here."

"Hey Lincoln, can I help you?" Leni asked.

"I'd also like to assist you." Lisa added. "I know ways of making serial touchers pay."

"Sure, I could use a few hands for this." Lincoln said.

The three Louds went outside.

"So what do you propose we do now?" Lisa asked.

"Ok, here's the plan." Lincoln used a stick to make plan in the dirt.

* * *

At the park, the siblings got to work. Lincoln and Lisa had put something onto Leni as she was giggling. Leni was sitting on a bench.

"That tickles." Leni said.

"Try to hold still." Lisa said. "This is delicate work."

They had put on a "Do Not Touch" sign with a string attached to it.

"This is perfect. There's no way the serial toucher can resist this." Lincoln stated.

"Someone's coming!" Lisa informed. She and Lincoln jumped into the bushes.

Leni was scratching her nose.

"Leni, stay still!" Lincoln said before hiding in the bushes. Leni did as she was told. Chaz walked towards Leni.

"(gasps) They made a Leni statue! My dreams have come true!"

Chaz walks off happily.

"Hi Chaz!" Leni greeted.

Lincoln shushed her. Then, Luan with Mr. Coconuts walked up to Leni. "Hi Leni. Whatcha doing?" She looked at Leni's hair. "Oh Leni, I'm lovin your hair."

"Hey, can I feel it?" Luan said as Mr. Coconuts.

Luan let Mr. Coconuts feel Leni's hair.

"Leni's been touched." Lincoln alerted Lisa. "Pull the string."

Lisa pulls the string and an alarm goes on. Luan gets startled by this. Lincoln and Lisa come out of the bushes.

"Aha! Doctor Toucher I presume?" Lincoln accused.

"Whoa. You guys are weird!" Luan ran away.

"She's getting away! After her!" Lincoln and Lisa ran after her. Leni ran in the opposite direction. "Leni, this way!"

Leni ran in the same direction. The three siblings ran after their comedian sister. They eventually made it to a streetlight which Lincoln and Lisa ran behind. Leni kept bumping into the streetlight until Lincoln pulled her behind. Luan ran their way but they stuck their legs out and tripped her.

"They got me buddy." Luan said weakly to Mr. Coconuts. "But you can still make it Mr. Coconuts. Run!"

She threw him but he didn't go very far. He landed next to Luan. "Save yourself."

Lincoln and Lisa grabbed Luan. "Be gentle." Leni took Mr. Coconuts.

* * *

In the Louds garage, it was dark. Luan and Mr. Coconuts were each tied in a chair. They both have wires rigged up to them. Leni appeared with a flashlight shining it on Luan and the puppet.

"Hey Luan, nice hair. Lisa's got a surprise for you."

Leni pointed to Lisa. Lisa has hooked up some equipment including a toaster with a light bulb taped to it. She puts a toast in the toaster which turned on the light bulb. "Ready."

"A lie detector." Leni explained. "Better watch what you say Luan."

"Yeah Luan." Lincoln was seen with shades on. "You wouldn't lie to your siblings now, would you?" He threw the shades away. "Leni, light."

Leni tossed the flashlight at Lincoln but the light went out.

"Dang it Leni. You know I can't catch."

"Sorry."

"Where's the-" Lincoln felt the flashlight. "I found it."

Lincoln shined the flashlight at Luan and started interrogating her. "Alright Luan, enough fooling around. So why don't you tell us where everybody's stuff is."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Luan said with a wire on her tongue. "You're loonier than a loon bird." She laughs. "But seriously, I didn't do anything."

"What's the word Lisa?" Lincoln asked.

Lisa smelled the toast from the toaster. "Inconclusive, Lincoln."

Lincoln growled in frustration. "Fine. If you won't talk, maybe your friend will."

Lincoln pointed at Mr. Coconuts. "You must be the brains huh. Where's the stuff wooden man? Fess up!"

Coconuts remained silent.

"Silent treatment huh." Lincoln slapped him but ended up getting splinters on his fingers. "AHH! Splinters!!"

"Leave Mr. Coconuts alone, Lincoln!" Luan begged.

The lightbulb on the toaster went on and the toast popped out. Lisa used this to gather up information on the computer. She turned the computer to reveal the word "false" on it.

"As you can see, the dummy is lying." Lisa stated.

Lincoln looked back at Mr. Coconuts. "Well Coconuts, I think it's time we tried other methods." Lincoln got out a squirt gun. "This will make you swell up good."

Lincoln started to squirt drops of water onto Mr. Coconuts. Luan watched in horror. The torture continued as Luan started to twitch to the drops of water being squirted from the gun. Soon, it became too much for her to take as her eyes filled up with water. She crossed her legs.

"Ok! Ok! I did it!" Luan confessed. "I took everyone's stuff! Now let me go! I gotta go pee!"

"You heard her guys." Lincoln said. "Case closed."

* * *

The guys decided to give Luan her punishment. She was rolling down the sidewalk in a tire with Mr. Coconuts. Lincoln, Leni, and Lisa were getting paid in chocolate.

"Man, I wasn't expecting you guys to solve this case." Lynn said.

"Well, we did." Lincoln said.

"Oh boy!" Lisa said excited. "Sweet rich dark chocolate! Come to mama!"

"Now hold up a dang minute." Lori returned with a box. "I found all our lost stuff in the attic. Mom and Dad had these for a garage sale but never sold anything in here."

Lisa looked in the box and pulled out- "Aha! Here's my magnifying glass!"

The others took out their belongings.

"My plungey!" Lana exclaimed.

"My Polly LuLu!" Lola exclaimed.

"So this means Luan never took anyone's stuff?" Lucy said.

"Yep." Lori said.

"Hah! That means we can keep our choc-"

Lynn turned around and saw that Lincoln, Leni, and Lisa were gone. They had ran off with chocolates.

* * *

Lola and Lana were walking with Luan still stuck inside the tire. Lola was pushing her.

"That Lincoln thinks he's so smart." Lola said. "We know you didn't do it Luan."

"Thanks." Luan said feeling a bit nauseated.

"Hang tight Luan, this won't hurt a bit." Lola pushed her down a hill.

At the park, Lincoln, Lisa, and Leni were stuffing their faces with chocolate.

"Should we feel bad about Luan's predicament?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah, we tortured her for no reason." Leni said.

"We'll make it up to her." Lincoln assured. "We'll give her some chocolate."

Luan suddenly rolled past them in the tire.

"Somebody help me!"


	13. Chapter 13: Once Upon a Loud

**A parody of the episode: Once Upon an Ed**

* * *

It's nighttime. Lincoln's friend Zach is getting ready for bed in his room. He gets out a comic book.

"Ah, there's nothing like an Ace Savvy comic to help you get to sleep."

He starts reading. Then he hears something. The sounds are coming from his wall. He listens.

"Uh oh, I think I've got wall squirrels. Or wall weasels."

Then there's a crack on the wall. Part of the wall breaks and creates a hole. Lincoln's head is shown.

"Hello."

Then more of the the wall breaks and Clyde is shown.

"Oh wait, my leg's caught."

More of the wall breaks and Rusty is shown. "Break it up! Get outta the way! Make room!"

"I think I'm sitting on a nail." Clyde mentions.

"I can't feel my legs." Lincoln said.

"Hey!" Zach said. "How'd you guys get inside my wall? Were you planning on having a sleepover?"

"Yeah, that's why we're stuck inside your wall." Rusty said with sarcasm.

"Rusty, manners." Clyde said. "Assess the situation. Zach deserves an explanation." Clyde tries to get more room since the three boys are cramped in the wall. "Now if someone would just redirect their foot, I'd be happy to tell Zach the story."

"Well, looks like I'm getting a new bedtime story." Zach said.

"Now let's see, the story begins-"

"Oh come on! Lincoln's breathing down my neck!" Rusty complained.

"It's not my fault your head is in the way." Lincoln replied.

"There's an art to storytelling Rusty." Clyde stated. "One must use a pallet of words to paint images, blend sentences, and project them in an interesting way."

"Boring." Lincoln blurted.

"Yeah, boring." Zach agreed.

"See? Zach's got your number Clyde." Rusty said. "Let me tell the story Zachery."

 _Rusty's story:_

 _We see Rusty in a fancy white outfit and a cane. "I was strolling down the sidewalk, nothing new, nothing special when Chandler rides up and says-"_

 _"Uh, excuse me Mr. Rusty, nice day for a walk, isn't it sir?" Chandler is now a monkey riding his bike._

 _"And I say, Chandler, is that a flat tire you've got there? He looks down and bam!"_

 _Chandler crashes into a tree._

 _"What a sap!" Rusty laughed as he walked away._

 _"Good one Mr. Rusty!" Chandler laughs. "I'm such a loser!"_

 _Rusty is now headed to his mansion. There are statues of him in the front entrance. "With that, I headed back to my mansion to hang out with the ladies...and my other friends."_

 _Inside, Lincoln, Clyde, and some girls from school were playing videos in Rusty's living room. The girls were wearing dresses. Rusty enters the room._

 _"Greetings everyone!"_

 _The guys happily greeted Rusty._

 _"He's so self absorbed." Girl Jordan said._

 _"My public." Rusty said as he straightened his tie. The girls walked up to him._

 _"Wow Rusty, is that a new suit?" Stella asked._

 _"Can I touch it?" Girl Jordan asked, getting up his face. "Please Rusty? Please?"_

 _"Hey, hey, hey!" Rusty said. "How bout a little personal space?"_

 _He shoved her away._

 _"Hello Mr. Rusty, it's me Clyde!" Clyde greeted. "How are you on this fine day?"_

 _"How do you think? I'm popular as ever. Duh." Rusty said as he walked past his friends._

 _"Oh, of course."_

 _Rusty went to sit on his throne. "Ah, this is the life."_

 _One of his servants walked up to him. "Excuse me Mr. Rusty, your new motorcycle has arrived."_

 _"It's about time."_

 _Rusty pulled out a microphone and spoke. "I'm about to speak. Good news, my new expensive motorcycle has just arrived. And since I'm the owner of this mansion, I want you all outta here so I can admire my motorcycle alone. Oh wait, Lincoln and Clyde, you two can stay."_

 _The other girls complained._

 _"Ladies, ladies, you can all come back tomorrow cause I love ya."_

 _Two servants were pushing the ladies out of the mansion as the girls waved bye to the ladies man._

 _"Once I got rid of the commoners, it was time to check on the stash."_

 _Rusty, his servants, Lincoln, and Clyde went up to a huge safe. Rusty was being carried on a servants back. Another servant unlocked the safe. The safe opened up to reveal a stash of bikes.._

 _"Oh man!" Rusty said overjoyed. "Look at all these sweet rides. Now where's that motorcycle?"_

 _He spots it. "There it is!" It's all gold and shiny._

 _"Ooh!" Lincoln touched it._

 _"Lincoln, you can look at it but don't touch." Rusty said. "I'm gonna ride this thing!"_

 _Rusty gets on the motorcycle. A automated voice is heard on the motorcycle. "No need to ride me Mr. Rusty, for I can ride myself."_

 _"Cool." Rusty was driven around his mansion. The others just watched._

 _"Isn't Rusty the coolest?" Clyde said dreamily._

We go back to reality and Rusty has a smug smile.

"Rusty, you've never been brave enough to even sit on a motorcycle." Clyde stated. "Pure fiction. Your exaggerated tale can only be described as cockamamie."

"But I have to admit, Chandler as a monkey was priceless." Lincoln commented.

"Well, don't stop now." Zach said. "What happened next?"

"I'll get to that." Clyde responded. "Continuing from where Rusty left off, the discomfort began when we decided to hang out at my place."

 _Clyde's story:_

 _Clyde was getting baked cookies from the oven._

 _"The McButter cookies are ready. Wait til the guys try these."_

 _Then Clyde heard Lincoln and Rusty's voices. He went out of the kitchen and saw the two boys having a water gun fight. They had just came inside and their feet were muddy. They chased each other tracking mud all over the living room. They were also wet from the water. Clyde was shocked and dropped the tray of cookies._

 _"What're you doing?!" Clyde yelled. The two boys stopped their war and looked at Clyde._

 _"Oh, Clyde, are those cookies done yet?" Rusty asked._

 _"Look at what you've done to the living room!"_

 _The boys noticed all the mud they've tracked. They looked ashamed._

 _"I hope you're proud of yourselves." Clyde scolded. "You've messed up my living room again! It's baffling, I tell you!"_

 _Lincoln and Rusty shake in fear. Clyde continues to rant._

 _"Your deep rooted lack of self control only fosters failure in every endeavor we undertake! I mean it's always one step forward and two steps back! Why?! Don't you see the example I try to set for you? Take note, as I am a-" Suddenly Rusty's voice replaces Clyde's and Clyde has a stupid look on his face. "-stupid four eyed nerd and a babbling dork who can't lift a stick."_

"I wish I was as good looking as Rusty." Rusty said, mocking Clyde.

"Boy, this story stinks." Zach said. "I wanna hear a real story with more adventure and sci fi."

"Open a window Zach and get some air." Rusty replied.

"My turn." Lincoln said.

 _Lincoln's story:_

 _Everything is in black and white, except for the characters._

 _"And so it went, for little did Lincoln, Clyde, and Rusty know that at the mall a certain group of ten sisters were having lunch. They ordered Burping burgers. But these burgers were different. They were over radiated burgers that were made by mistake. The sisters were unaware of this as one by one they would take one bite from the tainted patties."_

 _Then the sisters started to glow and the burgers started affecting them. The roof of the mall started to break open and a glowing light was shown. Back at Clyde's house, Clyde was still scolding Lincoln and Rusty._

 _"So the next time you have a water fight, stay outside! Do I make myself clear?"_

 _Suddenly, there was a loud stomping sounds._

 _"Hey, what's going on?" Lincoln wondered._

 _The three boys go outside and see citizens running for their lives._

 _"Run! Run like heck!" Liam yelled._

 _"I'm so outta here man!" Chandler said as he rode off on his bike._

 _Stella was running but also pointed up at something and giggled. Clyde's dads are running._

 _"Oh, my legs!" Howard moaned. "I can't go on Harold!" He fell. "Farewell cruel world!"_

 _"Come on Howard! You can do it!" Harold tried to pull Howard up but someone's foot landed on both of them, crushing them._

 _"Dads!!" Clyde shouted in shock. The three boys heard laughing and looked up. They saw a giant Lori and the rest of Lincoln's sisters in monster form. They have horns, scales, and tails. Also, their skin now has their signature color. They laugh wickedly._

 _"Uh oh! Monster siblings!" Lincoln panicked and ran. The three boys ran for their lives as the sisters chased after them. Lynn burped loud enough to melt a house with her bad breath. Lisa had laser eyes and used them to melt a house._

 _"What do we do? What do we do?" Clyde asked, clinging onto Lincoln._

 _"Guys, in here!" Rusty opened the door to his house. Though when he was about to enter, an eyeball blocked his way. It belonged to Luan who was peeking through the house. "Eye see you!" She stood up with the house was on her face as she laughed. The boys ran off. Lola threw kiss marks at the boys. The kiss marks landed around them. Rusty pulled out a trash can lid for protection._

 _"Come at me ladies!"_

 _The sisters then fused together to form one body. The had multiple eyes, arms, and legs. They also had one big lip._

 _"Lincoln, your story's getting weird." Rusty said as he was freaked out._

 _The sisters shot a kissy mark at the boys, knocking them to the ground. The girls came closer to the boys._

 _"I'm a ladies man! Stop!" Rusty yelled._

 _Clyde screamed. Lincoln stood up with a brave look. "Now it's my turn!"_

 _Lincoln then transformed into his favorite superhero, Ace Savvy. He flew into the air holding his friends and his fused sisters chased after them with a tennis racket. But Lincoln got hit with the racket which damaged his flying power. He fell to the ground with Clyde and Rusty. They emerged from the dirt. The sisters were approaching._

 _"She's coming! I mean, they're coming!" Clyde yelled._

 _Lincoln saw a hole in the wall of someone's house. "We've found shelter!"_

 _The guys squeeze in through the small hole before the girls can get them._

"And that's how we got stuck in your wall. The End." Lincoln said finishing the story.

"What a enchanted world you live in Lincoln." Clyde said.

"I got a cramp listening to you." Rusty added. "Ok Zach, there's your story. Now how about prying us out of you wall."

Zach has fallen asleep.

"Oh, he's sleeping." Lincoln said.

"Wait a go man. It was your part that put him to sleep."

Suddenly, there's a sound in the wall.

"What was that?" Clyde asked in fear. "Did you guys hear it? I don't have a good feeling about this."

"I don't have any feeling at all." Lincoln said.

Then at the other side of the wall, a hole is made with someone's buck teeth. It was from Luan. Some other sisters appeared too.

"There you guys are!" Lynn said.

"Did you think you could hide from us?" Lola said.

"Zach! Wake up!" Rusty called. "Get a crowbar! Quick!"

Then the sisters were gone.

"Where'd they go?"

"I don't know. I was looking at Zach." Clyde said.

"My underwear's riding high guys." Lincoln said.

Suddenly, the three boys were pulled away in the wall.

 **Epilogue**

"Well, we learned our lesson." Lincoln said. "Never eat chocolates from my sisters."

"Yeah, especially since they chased us to the point where we had to hide in Zach's house." Clyde added.

"But I think we got enough chocolates for them now." Rusty said.

It's revealed the boys are in a store buying candy for the Loud sisters. The Loud sisters are looking at them through the window.

"I told you we would make them pay." Lori said.

"Yeah, I'm sure this is one story they won't forget." Lucy said.


	14. Chapter 14: A Loud Too Many

**Here's the next chapter. A parody of the episode: An Ed Too Many**

* * *

Outside at the park, Lincoln and his friends were searching for a something.

"One, two, three." Liam had picked up a clover and counted three leaves on it. He tossed it aside.

"Three. Three." Lincoln counted. "It's gotta be a four. A four leaved clover means good luck. And luck means we'll be able to talk people into anything."

"With good luck, getting rid of clothes stains would be more easy."

"Guys, I've found something." Rusty said. He showed a rare flower.

"What's with the weed?" Zach asked.

"Actually, it's a very rare flower." Clyde explained.

"Yeah, that's cute but we need a four leaved clover." Lincoln said.

Rusty tossed the flower away but Clyde leaped and grabbed it. "Please be gentle."

"Is a four leaved clover too much to ask for?" Lincoln said. Then he found one. "Bingo! Feel the magic boys!"

Then there was a loud and long growling sound. Rusty freaked out. "Lincoln!" He jumped into Lincoln's arms.

"You're giving me a hernia Rusty!"

"It sounds like a howl of the werewolf from the belly of Hades!"

Lincoln dropped him. "Rusty, that's your belly."

Rusty saw his stomach rumbling. "Oh. I'm hungry."

"Let's go to my place and make some pizza!" Lincoln suggested.

"I'll make the sauce." Clyde said.

"I'll add the meat." Liam said.

"I'll help with the dough." Zach said.

"I'll try not to make a big mess." Rusty said.

* * *

Somewhere in the neighborhood, Lola and her friend Winston were jump roping outside.

"Pretty impressive Lola." Winston complimented. Suddenly, Rusty, Lincoln, Liam, and Zach ran past Winston and Lola. They made Winston fall and get tangled in his rope.

"A little help here." Winston said.

"Lincoln, you blockhead!" Lola yelled.

Lola went to help Winston. Clyde was walking by.

"Look what my stupid brother and your friends!" Lola scolded.

"Excuse me."

Winston and Lola noticed the flower Clyde was holding.

"Is that a Baby Blue Gym Sock?" Winston asked. They sniffed the flower. "It's beautiful."

"Come on Clyde!" Lincoln called.

Lincoln handed the flower to Lola. "Here. You keep it."

Lola took it and sniffed it. Clyde left.

"Ah, Clyde and me were meant to be." Lola said dreamily. She went after him, completely forgetting about Winston who was still tangled in the rope.

"Lola?"

* * *

At the Loud House, the boys are preparing the pizza. Lincoln and Zach are making the dough, Clyde is making sauce, Rusty is adding cheese, and Liam is adding meat.

"I've blanched the tomatoes, and now for a dash of oregano." Clyde said and added the ingredient. "Careful…"

Lincoln cracked eggs in a bowl. "And one egg, and five eggs!"

He crushed five eggs and the yolk spilled into the bowl. Clyde got startled.

"Lincoln please, I'm trying to concentrate."

"What?" Lincoln and Zach had eggs in their mouths, making them look like teeth.

"Doesn't he understand how easily tomato sauce bruises?" Clyde said while stirring the sauce.

"How much yeast Clyde?" Zach asked.

"Just one tablespoon Zach."

"Yeah right." Zach poured a bunch of yeast into the bowl. The bowl started shaking and bubbling.

"Rusty, quit eating all the cheese!" Lincoln said.

Rusty had munched on a wheel of cheese. "Cheese, Swiss."

"Pepperoni, Italian." Liam said and handed him some meat and a slicer.

Rusty began cutting meat. "Slicer, aluminum."

The pizza dough expands into a big ball of dough. Lincoln and Zach are kneading it. The doughs keeps growing.

"Maybe I shouldn't have added so much yeast." Zach stated.

"Guys, we could use some hands over here!" Lincoln said.

Rusty and Liam joined in kneading the dough. Actually, they jumped on the dough like it was a trampoline. Just then, Lola entered the kitchen.

"Hi Clyde." She greeted nicely.

"Oh, hey Lola." Clyde greeted.

"What are you making?"

"Pizza."

"Belly flop!" Rusty belly flopped onto the dough, flattening it.

"Looks good and flat." Lincoln said. "Get the sauce Clyde." He sees Lola with Clyde. "Lola? We're kinda busy here. What are you doing with Clyde?"

Clyde is walking backwards as Lola is towards him. "Do I have something in my teeth?"

Winston looks through the window and sees Lola. "Lola?" He falls down.

Clyde was now in one of the kitchen cabinets.

"Come out of there silly." Lola said.

"I'm quite comfortable in here. Thank you."

"Lola, don't you think you should play outside?" Zach asked.

"BACK OFF GEEK!" Lola yelled in his ear. She went over to Clyde and started tugging on his arm. "Come and play with me Clyde."

"Hey squirt, Mom's calling you!" Lincoln picked up Lola and went to throw her outside but instead she threw him outside. She blew her tongue out at him and closed the door. Then she managed to toss Rusty, Liam, and Zach out of the house.

"Wow, your sister's tougher than she looks." Liam commented.

"Come on guys." Lincoln ran back inside and the boys followed him. They went back in the kitchen.

"Lincoln, help me!" Clyde was on top of the fridge as Lola was jumping up to grab him.

"Come down Clyde." She noticed letter magnets on the fridge and arranged them to spell something. Lincoln pushed her away.

"What's this? Lola and Clyde?" He read. "My sister's got a crush on Clyde!"

"Well, better him than me." Rusty said.

"Crush?" Clyde said surprised.

"You're my boyfriend." Lola was now on top of the fridge with Clyde.

"Let's go Romeo." Lincoln pulled his friend down.

"Gimme back my boyfriend!" Lola demanded.

* * *

Meanwhile at Winston's place, Winston is in his living room looking at a picture of him and Lola on his phone. The picture has Lola and Winston taking a selfie together.

"(sighs) I'm so lonely."

One of his butlers came up to him. "Winston, your dessert is ready."

"Oh boy. Lunch!" He ran to the kitchen and was served some kind of chocolate pastry. "Yum. Light and fluffy."

Then it melted. "Darn egg whites."

* * *

The boys popped their heads out of a bush. They were hiding from Lola.

"I think I'm sitting on a twig." Clyde said.

"Looks like we lost her." Lincoln said. "Let's go."

They came out of the bush. Clyde had something caught on his leg. "Pesky twig."

Clyde pulls his leg out. It's shown that Lola was hanging on to his leg.

"Come and see my dollies boyfriend."

"Oh come on!" Lincoln said frustrated.

Lola was hugging Clyde. Lincoln grabbed him.

"Quit fooling around Clyde!"

He pulled him away from Lola. The boys ran off but Lola appeared in front of Clyde.

"Where are we going now boyfriend?"

The boys noticed. Lola started playing around Clyde.

"Ring around the boyfriend! Ring around the boyfriend!" She jumped on his back. "Piggyback ride!"

"We've had enough Lola!" Lincoln yelled.

"Mind your own business bub!" Lola yelled back.

"Sweat. I'm starting to sweat." Clyde mentioned.

"Your sister's out of control." Rusty said.

Lola hugged Clyde some more. Lincoln got an idea. "Oh Lola, Clyde wrote you a poem."

Lincoln handed her a paper. She took it. "For me?" She read. "Get lost. Aw, that's so..Hey!"

She then realized the boys got away with Clyde in their arms.

* * *

Winston was driving down the sidewalk in his toy go kart, feeling depressed. He spots a rare looking flower like the one Clyde had earlier. He goes to smell it.

"If only Lola-" He then gets angry because of Clyde driving Lola away from him. "Clyde. Stupid flower!" He steps on it. "I'm a lone wolf looking for trouble!"

He starts foaming at the mouth and rips the flower to pieces with his mouth. His friend Skippy comes over.

"Hey Winston." He sees what he's doing. "Um..did you get bitten by a werewolf?"

Winston goes to sock him, but since he is weak he misses him and spins around.

"Are we playing tag? Tag! You're it!" Skippy tags him and runs away. Winston turns red with anger.

* * *

At Clyde's place, Lincoln opened the garage door and looked around before going back inside. "Well, no sign of my sister. Looks like we finally got rid of her. Now how's it coming?"

"The paper machete is ready Lincoln." Clyde said stirring the material.

Rusty has his hands in the mixture. "So let me get this straight, we're making a sculpture of a spaceship for our history class assignment."

"That's correct." Clyde said. "Also, you shouldn't be touching that stuff with your bare hands."

"Why not?" The muck quickly dries on Rusty's hands.

"That's why." Clyde pointed out.

"This idea has got to get us an A." Lincoln said. He went up to the giant spaceship sculpture which wasn't quite done yet. "This is our greatest group project yet. Maybe we can get the top part of the ship done today."

"And I can act like Neil Armstrong." Zach stated. He says a famous line from the astronaut. "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

"We need more top support Lincoln." Clyde said as he studied the plans.

Suddenly, Lola showed up.

"Boyfriend, this is stupid. A spaceship." Lola took the plans and made paper cut outs of her and Clyde dancing. "Can you ballroom dance?"

"Lincoln!"

Lincoln was on a ladder. "What is it?" He saw Lola with Clyde. "Lola! Leave Clyde alone!"

"Keep out of this!" Lola yelled.

Clyde ran in front of Rusty who was holding the ladder. "Hide me!"

Lola jumped on Rusty. Clyde ran away. "You're fun boyfriend!"

The ladder was moving off balance. "Whoa! Steady down there!" He bumped into a shelf full of paint buckets. The shelf broke and the buckets dropped. Rusty grabbed the ladder. He slipped on a bucket causing the ladder to twist around. Lincoln was now at the bottom holding the ladder with Rusty at the top. Lincoln couldn't hold the ladder steady but he fell and Rusty came down. The ladder flung Lincoln backwards and he broke through the spaceship sculpture and a piece of it hit the paper machete mixture causing it to fly through the air and pour onto Clyde, who was running away from Lola. The mixture hardened and Clyde was frozen in place.

"Hello trapped boyfriend." Lola said.

"Lincoln, look at this!" Liam said.

Lincoln looked and saw his sister painting hearts on a trapped Clyde.

"That's pathetic." Lincoln said.

"Lola's weird when she's not hanging out with her friend." Rusty said.

"That's it! We need to find her friend! Come on guys!"

"But what about Clyde?" Zach asked.

"He's not going anywhere." Lincoln and his friends left the garage.

Lola added a necklace around Clyde.

"Uh Guys?"

* * *

Lincoln and the others ran to the park. Lincoln spotted Winston on a teeter totter.

"Hey Winston."

Winston turned around. "What are you looking at dork?"

"Dork?"

"Looking for trouble? Cause I'll flip you like a pancake!" Winston attempted to hit Lincoln but failed as he spun around and got dizzy.

"Hey, take it easy Tarzan." Lincoln said. "You want my sister Lola back, right? So you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

He kicked Lincoln a couple times. "Where's Lola? I want Lola! Give her back!"

Lincoln just looked annoyed. "Ok, let's get this over with."

* * *

The boys lead Winston to Lola. Lincoln had put a blindfold on Winston and he dragged him.

"I can't see."

"Relax."

Clyde was leading Lola over to Winston. She also had a blindfold on. "I like surprises."

Lincoln and Clyde put the little kids in front of each other. They took off their blindfolds.

"Lola?"

"Winston!"

"Wanna come over and have some tea?"

"Sure."

The two kids ran off. The five boys sighed in relief.

"Well, it's better to have loved than lost." Clyde stated.

"Then lost than found." Zach said.

"You said it!" Lincoln said bitterly. "What a rotten day! So much for good luck."

Lincoln tossed away the four leaved clover. Skippy walked by and found the clover. "Wow, a four leaved clover!" He then found a twenty dollar bill on the ground. "Wow, a twenty dollar bill!" He walked off.

Lincoln saw this and was surprised. "But..that's our luck."

"I guess good luck charms don't work for everyone." Clyde stated.

Then the boys heard loud growling. Rusty looked at his stomach and it was rumbling again. "I'm hungry."


	15. Chapter 15: Key to my Loud

**Here's a guest request. A Loud House version of the episode: Key to my Ed**

* * *

In a dark place, the young Loud scientist is at work pouring some kind of mixture from her beaker. Suddenly, the lights are turned on by Lola. The other siblings are there too. It's revealed they're in the garage.

"What are you? Lucy?" Lola questioned.

"LOLA, TURN OUT THAT LIGHT!" Lisa yelled. "This mixture is very sensitive."

Lola turned it off.

"Thank you Lola. By multiplying the isolated bubble of carbon gas, I've invented a soda that will never lose its fizz."

"Yummy!" Lana said.

"I want a taste!" Lincoln grabbed the bottle. "I love pop!"

"No! Wait!" Lisa said.

"I want the first taste!" Lola grabbed the bottle.

"No me!" Lana tugged on it.

Lori snatched it. "I'm the oldest, so I should get it."

"Ooh! That looks like strawberry!" Leni took the bottle and started drinking it.

"No Leni! You don't understand!" Lisa turned the light back on. "I haven't tested its stability! It remains unpredictable!"

Leni gulped down the whole drink.

"Wow Leni, you pig!" Lola scolded.

"Freeze missy!"

Leni froze.

"Don't make any sudden movements. Just the slightest twitch may set off the mixture's volatile nature."

"And we wouldn't want that to happen now, would we?" Lola then started tickling Leni since Leni was ticklish.

"Quit it Lola!" Leni laughed.

"Stop! Cease! Desist!" Lisa commanded.

Lola continued to tickle her.

"Enough already!!!"

"Chill Lisa." Lola said.

Then Leni's belly started rubbling. It began to expand and she bloated. The soda then poured out of her nose. She then flew out of the garage and into the neighborhood. Pop was sprayed onto a few people. Leni flew into a backyard as she ran out of liquid. Her siblings followed.

"Hey Leni, Lisa said don't move." Lola said.

"Really Lola?" Lincoln said.

Leni popped her head out from a lawn chair. "Like, that was fun!"

Luna and Lori helped Leni get out from the chair.

"Look, I found a key." Lisa showed her siblings the key. "Keys have quite a history of unlocking the mysteries of time. Why just think how tangled one's life becomes by losing something as primitive as a key. Poor soul."

"Let me see that key Lisa." Lola took it from her.

"I bet that key unlocks the animals from a zoo." Lana predicted.

"Or it could open King Tut's tomb." Lucy said.

"Or to a community swimming pool." Lynn added.

"Or maybe a cartoon character theme park!" Luan mentioned.

"Guys, it could be just a house key." Lincoln said.

"Get real Lincoln." Lola said. "It could open the gates to a castle."

"And you're telling me to get real?"

"I think we should return the key to its rightful owner." Leni suggested.

"That's the most sensical thing I've heard you say today Leni." Lisa said.

"No way. I wanna see what this thing unlocks!" Lola ran off.

"I gotta admit I'm curious about that key too." Lori said.

"Guess we better follow her." Lincoln suggested.

* * *

At the playground, Darcy was playing in the sandbox. She had a little toy chest. Lola showed up and used the key to try to open it.

"Hey, that's mine!" Darcy said.

"Hold on squirt, I need to see something."

It wouldn't unlock.

"Lola, I think Darcy already has a key for that." Lisa said.

"I do." Darcy showed Lola her own key.

"This key's useless." Lola said and walked away.

"Oh I know. Let me try it Lola!" Lana said.

We cut to Lana using the key to poke a cow's udder. The kids are in Liam's barn. The cow mooed every time Lana poked it.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Luna asked. "I thought you were going to unlock something."

"No. I just like poking a cow's udder." Lana stated.

"Gee, I think Lana's onto something Lola." Lisa said sarcastically. "Come on Lola, someone is really missing this key."

Lisa attempted to get off the cow and fell off. Lola laughed. Next, Lynn tried to open a manhole.

"Come on, it's a key." Lola said. "It's supposed to open something."

"That's right Lola." Lisa replied. "Something dear and personal. Like a box of photographs, or a diary with pages of truth and duration, or something as simple as a locket of love. It's our responsibility to see this key returns to its forsaken owner so life can-"

Lynn loses her grip on the key and it lands in between Lincoln's chipped tooth.

"Mortified? Yes." Lincoln said.

Next Leni tries to open a fire hydrant. Lisa continues her speech. "There's a fellow human crying for help, trying to mend the unraveled ball of yarn handed to them. Maybe that's the kind of world you wish to live in Lola."

At this point, Lola was getting very irritated.

"Where the unyielding and the indifferent supersede the benevolent, I say-"

"SHUT UP LISA! Leni, you understand anything Lisa said?"

"Barely."

"There's no need to raise your voice Lola." Lisa said.

"You're right Lisa, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted Lola." Lisa turned towards the others. "Guys, Lola's made an important first step and-"

Lola kicks Lisa in the rear, sending her flying off.

"LOLAAAAAA!"

"My foot apologies too, Lisa!"

Then Liam shows up carrying a suitcase. "Careful, I'm seen dogs use that fire hydrant to do their business."

He walks past the Louds.

"Did you see that case?" Lola said. "I bet this key is for that case!"

"Let's find out." Lincoln said.

Lisa is seen chatting with Liam. She is rubbing her sore butt. "So I feel mankind should reassess its position on the Darwin graph before total social abandonment."

"You need to eat more fiber." Liam replied.

Lola tries to unlock Liam's suitcase. Liam notices this. "You want to see, right?"

"Um, yeah, sure Liam."

Liam opens his suitcase and searches for something. "It has been passed down for many generations. Behold!"

"It's a music thingy." Leni said.

Liam is holding out a banjo. "It's called a banjo."

"Never heard of it."

Liam began to play his banjo, very badly. The Loud siblings covered their ears.

"I'm outta here." Lola said.

"Same here." Lori said.

"Dude doesn't even know how to play it." Luna commented.

Liam continues playing. "Everybody now!" He sees the siblings are gone. "Louds?"

* * *

The Loud kids are now in their front yard.

"This key's gotta open something." Lola said.

"Guys, like Leni said before, let's return the key to whomever lost it." Lisa suggested. "Then we'll know what it opens."

"What? And ruin all this frustration?"

"I agree with Lisa." Lincoln said. "Think of it Lola, there may be a reward."

"Like cash?"

"Or any kind of loot."

"Ooh, I like where this going." Lori said.

The others agreed.

"But like, what if the reward is a hair clip?" Leni said. "That would be great."

Everyone else gave her a unamused look.

"I have a plan." Lola said. Lola told her plan to her siblings.

* * *

Soon, some friends got text messages on their phones.

"Hey, I got a text message." Becky said.

"Me too." Chaz said.

Girl Jordan read the message. "We have what you lost."

Chandler is seen reading the message. "If you want it back, be at Ketcham Park at three o clock."

Liam is seen reading the message. "And bring a bag of chocolate bars." He got suspicious. "Swindlers."

Now the Loud kids are running to the park.

"Holding the key for ransom is not what I had in my mind Lola!" Lisa said.

"You got that right! It's better!" Suddenly, Lola trips over someone. It was Haiku who was laying on the ground. "What's up with your friend Lucy?"

"It must be three o'clock." Lucy explained. "Haiku always naps at three o clock."

"Still, why sleep on the sidewalk?" Lynn asked.

"It's a goth thing. You wouldn't understand."

"She's a hazard." Lola said. "Come on, we're wasting time."

The kids head into the park. They see Chandler there with a bag.

"It's Chandler." Lincoln said. "This must be the key to his bike lock."

Leni is shown holding Haiku in her arms.

"Leni, why did you bring her along?" Lori asked.

"The sidewalk is too dirty to nap on." Leni said.

Then Liam showed up and confronted Chandler. He also had a bag. "So it was you, I reckon."

"Liam?"

"Don't act all innocent, you ding dang thief!"

"Me? You're the thief man!"

Liam grabbed Chandler by the collar. "Confess to your crimes! Return my cowbells!"

"Look who's talking!" Chandler tackled Liam.

"It's an international incident." Lola said amused.

Chandler pinned Liam to the ground. "Cough up my earbuds!"

Then Becky and Darcy arrived.

"Who's the one who took my tennis racket?" Becky wondered bringing her bag.

"And who took my hair shampoo?" Darcy asked, holding her bag.

"Who's bright idea was this?" Girl Jordan came showing her text message.

"Wait a minute." Darcy started sniffing her. Girl Jordan was weirded out by this.

"What are you doing?" She pushed Darcy away.

"Your hair smells herbal fresh. Use it or lose it missy." Darcy tackled Jordan.

"Holy mackerel!" Lana said surprised by Darcy's act of violence.

The kids started fighting. And other kids showed up and started brawling each other.

"What the heck are they doing?" Lola said. "Hey, Hey, Hey!"

Everyone stared at Lola.

"I'm the one with the key!"

"Who cares about the stupid key?" Chandler snapped.

The kids began fighting again.

"Well Lola, it seems your key did open one thing." Lisa stated. "The paranoia and hostility festering beneath the surface of our formerly calm town."

"Do you ever turn off?" Lola asked annoyed.

"It's a curse I'm afraid."

Just then, three robbers showed up. One was big and brawny, one was tall and skinny, and the third one was short and chubby. They were black ski masks.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" The brawny leader guy said. "A bunch of kids fighting and we weren't invited."

The kids screamed and ran away, recognizing the three men as the most wanted criminals in town. The Louds were left with the robbers.

"You're the most wanted robbers from the news!" Lola stated in fear.

"You got it Princess." The big criminal said. He noticed Lola hiding something. "Hey, whatcha got back there?"

"Nothing!" Lola handed the key to Lincoln and showed her empty hands. "See?"

"Look boss! That white hair kid has something!" The short robber mentioned.

"Let's pound it outta him!" The tall one said.

"Run for it!!" Lincoln yelled. The siblings ran away. The robbers chased after them. The short one jumped onto Lincoln, causing Lincoln to lose the key.

"Lincoln, no!" Luna yelled.

The leader got the key. "A key! Jackpot!"

"My key!" Lola exclaimed. "What do we do?"

"I don't know and surprisingly, Haiku can sleep through all this." Leni said as she was still carrying the sleeping goth. Lynn got an idea. She took Haiku from Leni.

"Hey robbers! Trade ya!" Lynn threw Haiku at the robbers.

"Heads up!" Warned the tall one.

Haiku hit the leader, knocking him down and causing the key to fly out of his hand. It landed on the ground and Lola caught it.

"I got the key! Let's go!" Lola and her siblings ran off.

"Get this thing off me!" The leader ordered.

"Look at how pale she is!" The tall one said.

"Move it man!"

"Alright, alright! I've got it!"

"Yuck!" The short guy removed Haiku and dropped her. He wiped his hands.

"Gross."

"Is it real?"

The Loud kids ran back to their home. The robbers were not too far behind.

"Open the door Lincoln!" Lori yelled.

"Come on kiddies, hand over the key." The leader commanded as the robbers were getting closer.

"It's locked!" Lincoln said.

"Hurry up, will you?" Lynn panicked.

"It's locked I tell you!"

Lynn pushes Lincoln and tries to open the door. "Outta my way! You're doing it wrong!"

"Dudes! They're coming!" Luna yelled.

However, Leni looked confident. "Don't worry guys, I have my house key!" She searches in her purse. She notices a small hole. "Um, I think it fell out of this hole in my purse."

Lola then realized the obvious truth. "Leni, you moron! This is your key!"

"And there's nowhere left for you to go!" The leader said as the robbers were in front of them.

When all hope seemed lost, a police car showed up with the siren on. Two police officers came out. They held out their guns.

"Freeze! Put your hands in the air!" One officer ordered.

"Uh oh! It's the fuzz!" The short guy said. The three robbers up their hands.

"Royal robbers, you're under arrest!" The other officer said. "Get into the car now!"

The bad guys head inside the police car.

"You kids ok?" An officer asked.

"Yes, thank you officers!" Lori thanked.

"These guys have constantly been breaking out of jail. But we'll be keeping a close eye on them. You folks enjoy the rest of your day."

The officer walked back to his car and drove off with the criminals.

"Well, this has been an interesting day." Lincoln said.

"I'm sorry guys." Leni said ashamed. "If I would've known that was my key, we wouldn't have been in that mess."

"Well Leni, we have to make sure this incident never happens again." Lori assured.

"Yeah, that key sure is a KEY-per!" Luan puned. "Get it?"

The other siblings groan. Leni unlocks the door and the kids head inside as Luan laughs.


	16. Chapter 16: Loud Lovers

**Well, here it is. A parody of the EEnE Valentines Day Special: EEnE's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo. I hope you enjoy the main couple for this chapter. I was originally going to use Clyde and Lynn but I changed my mind. Please read and review.**

* * *

It's Valentine's Day in Royal Woods, and couples are seen throughout the town. From humans to animals, most people are enjoying this love themed holiday. At Royal Woods elementary, Molly and Stella are walking down the hallway. The school was decorated in Valentine decorations. They see Girl Jordan. She's making a Valentine's Day Card.

"Hey, check out Juliet." Molly said to Stella.

The girls went over to Girl Jordan.

"Hey Jordan, what's that?" Molly asked. "A Valentine's Day card for your boyfriend?"

"It's for Artie." Girl Jordan replied. "He will be my future boyfriend."

"Ooh. You two would make a cute couple." Stella said.

"Yeah, he'd be the best boyfriend ever." Girl Jordan said and then walked off.

As Jordan walked away, two Cupids watched her. The Cupids were Lori and Bobby. Cupid Bobby was wearing a white suit and Cupid Lori had a pink dress.

"When nature stirs on Valentine's Day, and greets the children with their splendor-" Cupid Bobby began.

"Suddenly their minds will literally stray to thoughts of love and words so tender." Cupid Lori finished. They giggled and flew off. Then Lincoln, Liam, Rusty, Clyde, and Zach walked down the hall.

"Man, why did Valentine's Day have to be on a school day?" Rusty complained.

"Isn't Valentine's Day wonderful though?" Clyde said. "It's the perfect holiday to find that special someone and show the person that you care."

"You got that right Clyde." Lincoln said.

Zach smelled his armpit. "I need my emergency deodorant." He went to his locker and opens it. He got out deodorant and rubbed it on his armpits. "Girls love men who smell good." He smells his breath. "Now I wish I had emergency mints."

"Well, I hope I get to go square dancing with some girl." Liam said.

"Ah, you babies got it light." Rusty said. "Yep. Valentine's Day is just the same ol grind for this chick magnet."

Rusty took off his shirt to reveal another shirt underneath. It said "Kiss the Hunk." The words had flashing lights. Lincoln looked unimpressed.

"Step right up for a smooch ladies!" Rusty called. "Line forms to my left."

Rusty and the others waited, but no ladies had shown yet. "They must be freshening up in the can." The flashing lights went off.

"Right." Clyde said. "While we're waiting, I got something here for you guys." He took out a stack of Valentine's Day cards.

"Lincoln, Liam, Zach, Rusty." He handed them out.

"You electrify me?" Rusty read. He saw a picture of a man on his card. "Who the heck is this guy?"

"Nicola Tesla, Rusty." Clyde said. "It's part of my "Great Minds Of Science" Valentine's Day series."

"Sounds like something Lisa would own." Lincoln said.

"Aren't you supposed to give these things to girls?" Rusty's shirt lit up again. "I got a babe!" He turned to see Mrs. Johnson.

"Hello boys." She greeted. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too." Clyde said.

"You guys get ready for class. I'm passing out my traditional Cupid cookies." Mrs. Johnson left.

Rusty's shirt went dim. "Ok, Mrs. Johnson doesn't count." His shirt lit up again. "Another babe!" He turned around for a smooch but saw Chandler. He was wearing his hall monitor cap.

"In your dreams pal." Rusty said.

"Put your other shirt back on and get to class!" Chandler ordered.

"Don't let your brain go to your head Mr. Hall Monitor."

Chandler gave him a detention slip. "Oh, you just earned yourself a detention pal."

Rusty growled and snatched the slip of paper. He put his usual shirt back on.

"Oh, come now Chandler." Clyde said. "Why taint the emotional sincerity of Valentine's Day with a detention slip?"

Chandler gave a slip to Clyde. "That's for sticking up for Rusthead."

"But I've never had a detention before."

Rusty began walking off. Chandler kicked him.

"Move it slouch!"

Rusty ran off.

"That goes for you guys too!"

The other boys speed walked to class as Chandler followed. Clyde stayed behind. He heard crying coming from the janitor's room. He opened the door.

"Girl Jordan?" He saw her sitting on the floor sobbing.

"Artie hates me!" She cried.

"What happened?" Clyde asked.

 _We cut to a flashback of what happened earlier. Girl Jordan walks up to Artie._

 _"Hi Artie, Happy Valentine's day!" She greeted._

 _"Happy Valentine's Day to you too!" He replied._

 _"I made you a muffin." She gave it to him._

 _"Oh, thanks." He took a bite of it. "Wait, what kind is this?"_

 _"Strawberry." She said._

 _"Strawberry?! I'm allergic to strawberries? You trying to kill me?!" His face puffed up._

 _"Artie, I swear, I didn't know!" Jordan stated._

 _"My face!" His voice sounded different since his lips were puffed up. "Look what you did to my face! I look like a puffer fish!" He ran off. End of flashback._

"I'm sorry that happened." Clyde said. "But I'm sure he doesn't hate you." He looks at the clock. "Um, don't you think we should be heading to class?"

Jordan continued crying. "I've got no Valentine for Valentine's Day!"

Clyde quickly got out a pen and wrote on a card. He gave it to Girl Jordan. "I really must be getting to class. Happy Valentine's Day Jordan."

Clyde left. Girl Jordan looked at the card that had Stella's name crossed off and replaced with Jordan.

"Naturally I select you?" Jordan read.

Clyde was speed walking to class as Girl Jordan watched him.

"Clyde?" Suddenly, a arrow hit her in the butt. She became lovestruck with hearts in her eyes and she started floating off, sighing happily. The two Cupids appeared again.

"And so the spring of love is seeded deep within that Jordan girl." Cupid Lori said.

"Still another half is needed for this blossom to unfurl." Cupid Bobby said. They flew past Principal Huggins who came out of the restroom but he didn't notice them. He then became aware.

"I smell the inky scent of mountain sprites come to make mischief upon us." The Principal said to himself.

In science class, Molly and her friend Kat were looking inside an anatomy textbook and giggling. At another table, Clyde and Lincoln were working together. Zach and Rusty were having a sword fight with skeleton bones.

"Some of us are here to learn, thank you." Clyde said, referring to him and Lincoln.

Then Girl Jordan floated in between Lincoln and Clyde, with hearts popping over her head. "Hiya Clyde."

Clyde noticed her. "Oh Jordan, feeling better?" He then noticed she was floating which freaked him out. "Well, nice talking to you, oh would you at this, work work work. This assignment is worth 40 percent of our term." Clyde continued working but Girl Jordan whispered into his ear.

"Can I be your partner?" She asked.

Clyde looked nervous but smiled. Suddenly a huge explosion came from Zach and Rusty's table, knocking Clyde over.

"Ouch." Zach said. He and Rusty's shirts were blown half off and they were covered in ashes.

"Wait a go man!" Rusty said angrily. "You ruined my favorite shirt!"

"Stupid!" Girl Jordan scolded. Zach and Rusty stared at her. "Don't you know never to mix beric oxide with with an aqueous suspention?!"

Clyde stared at her surprised. "Jordan? I don't think I've seen that side of you."

"I've developed a mean bathroom deodorizer too." She said getting in Clyde's face. He backed away.

"Well, perhaps that's a conversation best had in a very busy public area, yes?" Then Clyde got hit in the butt with an arrow, making him lovestruck as well. Now he had hearts in his eyes as he started floating. He looked at Girl Jordan dreamily.

"Uh buddy, you ok?" Lincoln asked.

Clyde didn't respond. He just kept staring at Jordan. Cupid Bobby came and lifted up Clyde by the back of his shirt.

"Now that Clyde's been smitten by the course of Cupid's will-"Cupid Bobby said.

"Ever shall a note be written, the plot gets thicker still!" Cupid Lori finished, lifting up Girl Jordan and a pencil and paper. She gave them to her and the two Cupids carried the two kids in the opposite directions.

* * *

In the hallway, Principal Huggins was rummaging through his locker as Girl Jordan floated down the hallway. He heard the Cupids.

"I definitely heard mountain imps." He said to himself. "But they taunt me no more!"

The principal began to sniff the air as he walked past Chandler and his friends, who stared at the principal with confusion.

"Uh, Principal?"

Clyde floated down the hallway to his locker. He saw a note sticking out of his locker. He took it and read it. "To my sweet lamb chop, won't you be mine? Love Jordan."

Lincoln, Liam, Rusty, and Zach heard this.

"I'm confused." Liam said. "I thought Jordan was gonna ask Artie to be her Valentine."

"She must've put the note in Clyde's locker by mistake." Lincoln said. He went to Clyde. "Clyde, I'm sure that Valentine is meant for Artie."

He tried to take it but Clyde pushed him away. Then the bell rang.

"Come on Clyde, it's time for gym!" Zach called.

Clyde ignored him and kept staring at the note dreamily.

"I got this fellas." Liam said and took out a rope. He lassoed Clyde and dragged him into the gym as the other followed.

"Turtledove, to whence we meet again." Clyde said and put the note in his hair.

Inside the gym, Chandler was in his gym clothes and taking attendance. The boys are now wearing their gym clothes too.

"You again?" Rusty said seeing Chandler with a clipboard.

"The things I do for extra credit." Chandler muttered.

Liam brought Clyde, who still had the lovestruck look on his face. Liam saw Clyde floating.

"I don't know he's doing this." Liam said to Lincoln.

"Listen up!" Chandler ordered. "Today you're gonna be climbing the rope."

"Right on!" Liam immediately went first and easily climbed up the rope to ring the bell. At the other side of the gym, the girls came in. They followed Molly who was leading them. They were all holding rackets.

"Alright ladies, today's class is gonna be so much fun!" She said.

Clyde heard them and turned around, smiling at Girl Jordan. She stared back and smiled. Molly was showing off her badminton skills as Girl Jordan blew kisses at Clyde. Clyde blew back some kissed too, causing Lincoln to stare at him.

"Hey white head!" Chandler called. Lincoln turned around. "Your turn!"

He threw the rope in Lincoln's face.

"I'm not climbing a dang rope." Lincoln said.

"Oh yeah you are, or I'm telling the teacher." Chandler threatened.

Lincoln grumbled angrily as he went to climb the rope. He managed to climb it and ring the bell but he fell back down.

"Rope burn!" He yelled as his hands were red hot. Clyde was still looking at Jordan with lovestruck eyes.

"Yo four eyes!" Chandler called. Liam pushed Clyde in front of the rope. "You're up."

Clyde grabbed the rope, but instead of climbing he floated up and rang the bell.

"How'd he do that?" Chandler wondered.

Jordan, who was on top of the net, stares dreamily at Clyde. "I want to wear his glasses."

Molly and Stella stared at her.

"What the heck is she talking about?" Molly asked Stella. Stella strugged.

"Maybe she's constipated."

"Jordan, we've got a game to play!" Molly tossed the badminton and hit Jordan, but she was too distracted to care.

"Ok, who's turn is it?" Chandler looked at his clipboard.

"Hey guys!" Zach yelled. He was on top of the basketball hoop holding the rope. "Check it out! I'm Tarzan!"

He swung from the hoop doing his Tarzan yell.

"Go Zach go!" Rusty encouraged.

Zach swung into the other hoop and swung back.

"He shoots-" Rusty put Clyde on the mat. Zach swung into him and knocked him into the basketball hoop.

"He scores!"

Clyde fell, landing on his head on the hard floor.

"Lamb chop!" Jordan cried with concern.

Zach landed on Chandler. He glared at Zach.

"You just earned yourself a detention."

"Dang it." Zach said.

The bell rang, meaning class was over. The boys rushed out of class except for Clyde and Chandler. Girl Jordan went over to Clyde who was laying on the ground. She lifted his head up.

"Speak to me lamb chop! Are you hurt?"

Clyde opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Your gaze alone could heal any wound." He said.

"You're so adorable!" Jordan said lovestruck. "I could just eat you up!"

"Bon appetit Turtledove, for I am basted and ready to serve."

Molly was watching the whole thing.

"Dude, are you seeing this?" She said to Chandler. Chandler looked at the scene too.

"Man, that's sick." He said.

Jordan carried Clyde over to the mat. The two Cupids were seen above.

"Now the dance of love had started, and the secret is about to unfurl." Cupid Bobby said.

"Never shall the pair be parted by another boy or girl." Cupid Lori said. They giggled and flew off. Clyde and Girl Jordan sat down on the mat and cuddled. Some other girls saw this.

"Is Clyde flirting with Jordan?" Kat asked.

"OMG." Said a girl named Joy.

"I have mixed feelings about this." Molly said.

Principal Huggins came in searching for the Cupids.

* * *

In art class, groups of kids sat at a table. Girl Jordan was drawing a card. Molly looked at it. It said "Jordan x Clyde" on it with a drawing of the two kids. At the other table, Clyde was staring dreamily at Jordan. The other boys were painting. Rusty drew a painting of his bike but ran out of ink.

"I need more ink." Rusty said.

"There's a ink machine in the back." Lincoln said.

Rusty went into the back of the classroom and found it. He pressed the start button and ink started pouring out. A kid named Andrew came to deliver a card to Clyde. The card had the name "Lamb chop."

"I got a card for Clyde." He said. Clyde opened it. Inside it said "I luv you." There was also a heart shaped candy. "A sweet from my sweet." He read. "Be mine."

Andrew went over to the other table and gave the card back to Girl Jordan. She read what was inside and smiled widely. She wrote something. Andrew took the card back to Clyde. He wrote something back. Andrew took the card back to Jordan. He kept going back and forth sending the card to the two lovers. Molly was getting really annoyed. When Andrew came back with the card, Molly tried to take it.

"Lemme see that!"

"I can't. It's for Jordan and Clyde's eyes only." Andrew said.

"Give it!" Mollie pinned him to the ground but he ripped the card to shreds. "You little-"

Ink was then seen on the floor. Lots of ink was coming out of the machine. Lincoln and Rusty tried to get it to stop

"Rusty, what did you do?"

"The machine wouldn't stop making ink." Rusty explained. "I kicked it but that just made it worse."

"Clyde!" Lincoln called. "We need your help! Stop this crazy thing!"

Clyde was too distracted. The machine erupted and ink flooded the place. Clyde was caught on a wave of black ink. The wave headed towards the other table as Clyde rode on it.

"Lambchop." Jordan said.

"Turtledove." Clyde said. The two kids reached out to grab each other.

"Lambchop?" Lincoln said as he and Rusty were covered in ink.

The ink wave covered the other students in ink.

"Turtledove?" Molly said.

Clyde and Girl Jordan were standing on a table.

"I've got some stain remover we can share." Clyde told Jordan. "Shall we?"

"We shall." Girl Jordan said. The two students walked out of the room holding hands. Molly and the girls looked at the boys who looked back at the girls.

"I've got ink in my ear." Liam said trying to get it out.

Lincoln knew something was up with his best buddy and he was gonna find out what.

* * *

After class, the boys washed all the ink off of them. They were now at Clyde's locker. Lincoln used a stethoscope and he managed to get Clyde's locker open.

"Bingo!"

"Are you sure we should do this Lincoln?" Liam asked.

"Well, how else are we gonna find out what's going on?" Lincoln looked through the locker and threw out books. "The History Of Cats? Dr. Lopez's guide to life? How to stop nosebleeds?"

He had tossed out all the books. "I don't get it."

"Hey, what's that?" Zach asked pointing at something stuck to one of the books.

Lincoln picked it up. "It's a hair clip from Girl Jordan! I think Clyde's fallen in love with her!"

"No way!" Rusty said surprised. "I was the one with the Kiss the hunk shirt. Why didn't she come crawling to me?"

"Also, something about those two together doesn't feel right." Lincoln said. "What if Clyde stops hanging out with me?"

"I'm sure that won't happen." Liam said. "But then again...maybe it could."

Lincoln closed Clyde's locker.

At Girl Jordan's locker, Molly got her locker open.

"What does Girl Jordan see in that weirdo?" Kat wondered.

"I could tell there was something going on." Molly said looking inside the locker. "He's probably with her right now."

She saw something and pulled it out. "What's this?" She opened a heart shaped box and Kat pulled out a sock.

"It's Clyde's sock!" Polly said.

"That creep!" Joy said.

Kat dropped the sock with disgust.

"Flirting's one thing, but handing out your unmentionables is going too far!" Molly said. She and the girls stormed off.

* * *

It was now lunchtime. The cafeteria had out heart shaped jello for dessert.

"Ooh! Jello hearts." Mrs. Johnson took one.

At a table, Chandler was flirting with a girl. "Happy Valentine's Day." He gave her a card.

"Awesome!" She said. "Thanks Chandler. I got you a card too." She passed the card to him.

"Sweet."

"Cool."

"Rad."

"Super rad."

"Choice o riffic."

Principal Huggins, who was sitting at a table next to them got annoyed.

"Are you people also lost to these gretchens of affection?!" He shouted angrily. The kids stared at him with confusion. "Clyde McBride and Girl Jordan have been smitten! You may be next. Take these." He gave them lemons. One for both of them. "The Lemons Of Acceptitude. Soil it's nectar into your eyes so you can see what cannot be seen." He got up and walked away.

"Right." Chandler said as he and the girl dropped the lemons. Then the boys, Lincoln, Rusty, Liam, and Zach came in the cafeteria from one side and the girls, Molly, Kat, Polly, and Joy came in from the other side. The two groups of kids met face to face.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the friends of the friend stealer!" Lincoln said.

"Where's our Girl Jordan?" Mollie said getting in Lincoln's face.

"Where's our Clyde?" Lincoln yelled getting in her face. She grabbed him by the collar with both hands.

"You've got three seconds to tell us where she is!" Molly said, shaking Lincoln. "One...two…" Mollie was about to punch him.

"Hey, isn't that a puppy?" Lincoln pointed, trying to distract her.

Mollie turned around. "Where?"

Lincoln grabbed a sandwich and hit her in the back of the head, knocking her over.

"Nice shot." Polly said.

"Tell Girl Jordan to stay away from Clyde." Lincoln said.

Joy grabbed two hot dogs.

"Tell Clyde to stay away from Girl Jordan." She yelled and threw the hot dogs at Lincoln.

"Ahh! It's the spicy mustard!" Lincoln said as he had mustard on his face. The girls laughed at this.

"Stand back!" Zach held out his bare foot to the girls. They were disgusted.

"Girls hate toenails guys." Zach said to the boys. Then a tomato was thrown at him. The girls were throwing food and were hiding behind a table.

"Food fight!" Chandler said excited.

Liam, Zach, and Rusty took a table for them and Lincoln to hide behind.

"Get em Guys!" Lincoln said. He ducked. Zach and Rusty got hit with food as some of the girls. The principal tried to escape the craziness and went to hide in a recycling bin. Some other people left the cafeteria.

"Every man for himself!" Liam yelled. He and the boys pushed their table against the girls table. Polly jumped over the table and pounced on Rusty. Lincoln was pulled to other side by Mollie. Liam lassoed Kat over. Zach tried to escape Joy but she attacked him. Lincoln was pinned to the ground but he bit Mollie's leg. Then the cafeteria doors opened up. No one noticed.

"Greetings everyone!" Clyde said, causing everyone to stare at him and Girl Jordan. The two lovers were floating in the air holding hands and they made a heart shape. "Our Valentine has come true. Has yours?"

Suddenly two pair of hands pulled the two away from each other.

"Get a grip Romeo!" Lincoln said holding Clyde by the neck. "Girl Jordan is out of your league."

"Yeah, I'm of a hunk than you." Rusty added.

Molly was pulling Girl Jordan away. "Forget about him Jordan."

"Lambchop!" Girl Jordan cried.

"Turtledove!" Clyde choked out.

"Lampchop!" Jordan broke free from Molly's grip but Joy stopped her.

"He's not good enough for you, Jordan!" She said.

"Turtledove!" Clyde ran slowly towards Jordan dragging Lincoln along.

"No Clyde!" Zach and Liam jumped on him. The two Cupids watched from above.

"How could this have happened?" Cupid Bobby asked. "Chaos rains instead of love."

"We shall stop this madness! Fire at will from above!" Cupid Lori commanded. The two readied their arrows and shoot randomly. The principal heard the sounds from inside the recycling bin. When they stopped, he peeked out. He saw the lovestruck kids.

"Happy Valentine's Day dreamboat!" Molly said to Liam.

"Sweet doggies, you sure are pretty!" Liam said back.

"For you, foxy mama!" Zach gave a bunch of flowers to Joy.

"What a hunk!" She said happily.

"May I have this dance?" Rusty asked a sandwich.

"Where have you been all my life?" Lincoln said.

"Right here man." Chandler said. The two boys were holding hands.

Artie was seen flirting with Lincoln's twin sisters. He was holding their hands. Kat was seen dancing with a custodian.

"Fools!" Principal Huggins said. He comes out of the bin and takes two lemons out of his pocket. He squeezes them into his eyes making them go puffy, but he was able to see the Cupids now. "Peek a boo, I see you." The Cupids didn't hear him though as they were more focused on the people fallen in love.

He went to the janitor's closet and got out a mop and a bucket full of dirty water. He kicked the cafeteria door open and returned. He dropped the bucket without spilling a drop and spun the mop around.

"Be gone, strange underlings of Valhalla!"

The Cupids saw him.

"Oops, we missed one Cupid Lori." Bobby said. The two got ready to fire more arrows.

"Bring it on!" Huggins said as he jumped on a table. The Cupids shot multiple arrows which he managed to block with his mop. "You tickle my funny bone."

He swung at the mop at the Cupids. "Take this and that!"

The Cupids flew up to a corner.

"Quick, up here!" Cupid Lori said. "Far from his swings!"

Huggins went after them.

"Safe and sound at last!" Cupid Bobby said, wiping his forehead. They got hit with the mop. "Ow, that stings!"

The principal carried the two Cupids out the window and dropped them. He shut the window. Inside the cafeteria, everyone was still lovestruck. Lucy was seen flirting with a boy.

"Come here often, big boy?"

The principal splashed dirty water onto them, making them go back to normal.

"Ugh, what happened?" Lucy wondered.

"Weaklings." The Principal insulted. "Rise and shine!"

He splashed water onto Lincoln and Chandler who were hugging. The two snapped out of it and realized what they were doing. They immediately let go of each other.

"Sick! Keep your hands off me!" Chandler said.

"Same to you." Lincoln replied.

Joy and Zach were sharing spaghetti. They were splashed next. Artie was seen rowing the twins in a gondola. Huggins poured water on them. The twins slapped Artie in the face. Rusty was still with his sandwich.

"You smell as good as you look." He said. He was splashed next. Not sure what was going on, Rusty shrugged and ate the sandwich. Kat and the custodian were splashed next. Kat was disgusted and ran off.

Clyde and Girl Jordan were about to kiss.

"You make me sick." Huggins said before splashing the couple with water. They were now back to normal. They realized they were holding hands.

"Girl Jordan!" Clyde said surprised. "Oh, uh, excuse me, I belong over there." He walked away awkwardly. He went back to his friends. Jordan went back to her friends.

"The harsh realities of your miserable lives have been restored!" Principal Huggins said and dropped the water. "Thank you." The bell rang and everyone started to leave.

"Awkward." Zach said.

* * *

After school, Lincoln was back at home talking to Clyde on his phone. "So buddy, how are you doing in after school detention?"

"Well, they're making me pick up trash but I could be doing worse." He said. "I still can't believe I got detention though. What will my Dads say?"

"It'll be ok. It's only for one day after."

Zach was seen helping Clyde pick up trash since he was also in detention with Clyde and Rusty. Rusty wasn't really helping. He was just relaxing against a wall.

"Also, you and Jordan did make a cute couple actually." Lincoln admitted.

Clyde blushed slightly. "Yeah, well, better than falling in love with a sandwich. Well, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Ok Casanova." He hung up.

The Loud sisters came into the living room and heard Lincoln's conversation. Lincoln saw them.

"So is it true dude?" Luna asked. "Were Clyde and Jordan in love?"

"Yep." Lincoln said.

"Clyde and Jordan sitting in a tree!" Lola sang. Lynn, Lana, and Luan joined in.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" The sisters laughed. Even Lincoln chuckled a bit.

"So how was Valentine's Day for you guys?" He asked.

"Oh, we all to hang out with that special someone." Luna said. "Me and Sam jammed out in music class."

"Me and Francisco nailed our opponents in soccer." Lynn said.

"I partaked in advanced chemistry with David." Lisa said.

"Me and Benny shared some Valentine's Day jokes." Luan said.

"Skippy showed me his gum collection." Lana said.

"Me and Silas wrote Valentine's Day poems." Lucy said.

"Winston told me how pretty I looked today." Lola said. "He was pretty good looking himself."

"Me and Chaz planned on going to the mall this weekend." Leni said. "What about you Lincoln?"

"Oh, I didn't get a Valentine." He said. "I wanted to ask this girl Paige but she was absent today."

"Oh well, there's always next year dude." Luna said.

"And you've still got us to hang out with." Leni said and hugged Lincoln. The others hugged him too.

"Ah, I'm glad I have all these sisters to love." Lincoln said to the viewers.

Outside, Cupid Lori and Bobby watched this from the window. They sighed happily and kissed.

* * *

 **Well, that's the end of this chapter. There were other characters I planned on adding to this story but changed my mind. But overall, I'd say I worked hard on this. It's a bit early but Happy Valentine's Day!**


	17. Chapter 17: Rock a Bye Loud

**A parody based on the episode: Rock a Bye Ed**

* * *

 _Leni is shopping at the mall. She is walking inside as people give her strange looks, but she doesn't notice. She goes to a clothes section where she sees her friend Fiona, who's staring down at something._

 _"Hi Fiona." Leni greeted._

 _"Um Leni, you know it's against the rules to wear socks with sandals, right?" Fiona said._

 _"Eww! Someone's wearing socks with sandals? Who?"_

 _Fiona points at Leni's feet. It's shown she's the one wearing socks with sandals. Leni gasps._

 _"But I don't even remember wearing these."_

 _"Well Leni, I hate to do this but I'm gonna have to tell an officer." Fiona said._

 _Fiona walked off to an officer. Leni followed her._

 _"Please Fiona, don't tell! I might get banned from the mall!"_

 _Fiona found an officer who had his back turned towards the two girls._

 _"Excuse me officer, as much as I hate tattling I'll have to let you know that my friend here is wearing socks with sandals even though it's against the law."_

 _Leni looked nervous. "Officer, I can explain! I didn't know it was against the law!"_

 _The officer was writing on a notepad and then turned around to face Leni. Leni was shocked to see that the officer was actually Clyde._

 _"Ma'am, this law has been mentioned all over the news." Officer Clyde stated._

 _Leni yelled in fear and ran away. She tried to escape but was then grabbed by a giant Clyde._

 _"Where do you think you're going?" He said._

 _"But Mr. Officer, I don't like socks with sandals!" Leni said._

 _"I see I'll have to wipe that goofy grin off your face." The officer said._

 _"But officer-" Leni's mouth vanished. She shook in fear. She is now at courtroom wearing jail clothes. She was tied to a chair and the officer is at a judge's chair. He bangs his gavel._

 _"Leni Loud, you are accused of a fashion crime." The officer said. "What do you have to say for yourself young ma'am?"_

 _Leni, mouthless, couldn't form words._

 _"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Clyde looked at the jury which were Leni's family members._

 _"Guilty!" They all said._

 _"As her mother, I suggest she be sent into the spider pit!" Rita told the officer._

 _"Well Leni, you heard your mother." The Officer said. "I sentence you to be thrown into the spider pit!"_

 _Leni's mouth reappeared and she yelled in fear. "NOOOO!"_

 _"Serves you right!" Lola said._

 _A pit opened up, revealing lots of spiders down below._

 _"Spiders! Spiders!" Leni yelled._

 _"This hurts me more than it does you Leni." Officer Clyde said._

 _Leni was thrown into the pit as she screamed in fear._

Leni woke up in her bed screaming at the top of her lungs. She got splashed in the face by Lola who was holding a bucket. The rest of the Loud siblings were there too.

"I told you that would shut her up." Lola said.

"Leni, are you alright?" Lori asked. She comforted her. "You must've had a horrible dream."

"It was Lori!" Leni hugged her older sister. "It was a fashion nightmare! I was wearing socks with sandals at the mall and-"

"That's real wacky Leni." Lola said, not really caring. "But here's an idea...we gotta get dressed."

"Lola, nightmares can have lasting after effects." Lisa stated. "Why, there have been studies that have correlated assimilations between the dream itself and the real world, if you will."

"Aw come on!" Lola said. "My friend Winston invited us to his shindig! He wanted me to be his guest of honor! Well, I'm outta here." Lola left.

Leni continued her story. "So anyway, the spiders were crawling all over me and-"

"I didn't know we were invited." Lori said.

"Yeah, we should go." Lynn said. "Parties have free food."

The others agreed to go. They left Lori and Leni's room to get ready. Leni was left behind. Lori came back.

"You gonna get ready, Leni?"

"Sure." Leni said. "The party should help me forget about that nightmare."

* * *

At the park, Winston's event is being held. It seems to be a gymnastics event. Zach, who was in his gymnastics outfit was twirling ribbons, but he got tangled in them and fell down. One of the judges scored him a one.

"What a waste of a life." He said.

"Did I win?" Zach asked.

"Better luck next time." Winston said running past him in his gymnastics outfit. Winston performed his flips at an obstacle course.

"Go Winston go!" Said one of the judges. The other people cheered.

"Alright, who's up next?" Winston asked.

The Louds siblings had just arrived. The kids were not expecting this kind of shindig.

"What kind of party is this?" Lincoln asked. "Sports?"

"Gymnastics, Lincoln." Lynn explained. "A series of exercises that develop and demonstrate speed, balance, and agility."

"Man, I was expecting to see a chocolate fountain." Lincoln said.

"Mmm, chocolate." Lisa said.

"Well, I like Winston's style." Lola said.

"Yeah, I could do some exercise right now." Leni said.

"That's the spirit Leni!" Lynn encouraged.

Leni went over to the gymnastics court, where she saw some of her friends.

"Hi Leni." Becky greeted.

"Hey Becky." Leni greeted.

"What's up Leni?" Miguel greeted.

"Hey Miguel." Leni greeted.

"Hiya Leni." Clyde greeted.

Leni froze when she saw Clyde. She remembered seeing him in her dream.

 _I see we'll have to wipe that goofy grin off your face, won't we!_ Leni panicked and ran off. "It wasn't my fault!"

Lori was holding ribbons. "I remember using these in middle school."

Leni ran past her. "Don't take my mouth! Don't take my mouth!"

"Leni?"

Leni climbed up a tree.

"Leni, what's wrong?" Lori followed. "I'm literally beginning to worry about you!"

The rest of the siblings saw Leni in the tree.

"What's with her?" Luan asked.

"Clyde's mad at me guys!" Leni said.

The kids looked at Clyde, who was attempting to do a cartwheel.

"Clyde's not mad at you Leni." Lincoln said. "Please come down."

"Nuh uh."

"Get me a rock. I'll get her down." Lola said.

"Listen up everyone," Winston said getting everyone's attention. "It's time for the balance beam."

The other kids cheered.

"Me first! Me first!" Darcy ran but slipped on a tree branch. It flew towards Clyde who ran away but the branch went into Clyde's hair. It was enough to knock him down, causing him to go sliding on the ground. One of the judges laughed.

"That looks good on ya, bush head!" The judge scored him a 10.

"Well, it's not really gymnastics but it's original to say the least." Winston said as he gave Clyde a ribbon.

"Hey, Winston's giving out ribbons." Lola said. "Hey Leni, let's go win some ribbons! I love ribbons!"

"I'm surprised at your insensitive and self serving attitude to Leni's strange and distraught behavior." Lori scolded. "As her sister, you should be more-"

Suddenly Leni fell on Lori.

"Ribbons!" Leni ran to the balance beam. Darcy was using it.

"Look at me. I'm so graceful and petite!"

"Pardon me miss." Leni said and shoved Darcy off. Leni tried to balance on the beam but she kept falling off.

"I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!"

The judges were unamused by this.

"Well, Leni has no chance of winning this." Lola said. But then Leni started walking on the balance beam.

"Oh, I'm finally getting the hang of this." She said. She walked back to the other side and saw Clyde in front of her.

"Wow, you've got skills Leni."

Leni got scared again and fell off the beam. Clyde stared at her with her with confusion.

"Boy Leni, you're freaking me out."

Leni screamed and clung onto the beam. One of the judges burst out laughing.

"Uh, Leni's just warming up." Lori said nervously. "Athletes. Go figure."

"For a minute there, I thought Leni was nuts." Clyde said.

"Excuse us Clyde." Lincoln said as he and Lori grabbed the ends of the balance beam. They walked out of the park with the other siblings.

"Funny, but Leni's averse behavior seems to be associated with Clyde." Lisa informed. "Somewhat like a phobia."

"Well, I literally don't blame her." Lori said. "The kid is kind of a weirdo. I mean, he does that weird robot thing." Lori imitates Clyde. "Abort. Abort. Systems shutting down."

"Leni, there's no reason to fear Clyde." Lincoln said. "He's a good fellow who wouldn't harm a fly."

"No way!" Leni said still scared. "He's mad at me! He wants to punish me!"

Lola sighs. "We've gotta do something about this."

* * *

Back at the Loud House, Leni is in her room, stuffing her face with a tub of ice cream. Lori is waiting for her to finish.

"Are you done yet?"

Leni lifted her head up with her face covered in chocolate ice cream.

"Animal." Lori said.

Lola and Lincoln came in.

"Tell me that wasn't the last tub of ice cream." Lola said.

"It's not." Lori said. "We've still got coconut cream."

"Eww!" Lola said disgusted.

Lincoln whispered something to Lori.

"It's about time." Lori said.

"Oh Leni, wouldn't it be fun if we had company?" Lincoln asked.

"You bet! I think they'll like this ice cream."

Then the doorbell rang. Leni had her head in the tub of ice cream and was too occupied.

"Um Leni, I think you should go answer the door." Lincoln said.

"Ooh! Company!" Leni went to answer the door but the tub of ice cream was still on her head. She bumped into the wall repeatedly. "Hello? Hello? Hello?"

Lola laughed at this. Lincoln and Lori facepalmed.

"I'll get the door." Lincoln said a bit annoyed. Lincoln went to open the front door. "Hey man, thanks for coming."

In Lori and Leni's room, the dumb blonde was still hitting her head against the wall. Lincoln came in.

"Did I miss anything?" He asked.

"Nope." Lori said, texting on her phone.

The guest took a seat on the chair.

"Can we get on with it?" Lori said.

"Ok Leni, it's time to take a seat." Lincoln dragged Leni over to her bed. "There's someone I'd like you to talk to."

He removed the ice cream tub from her head. She saw Clyde sitting in front of her.

"Hi Leni." He greeted.

Leni, of course, got frightened by the sight of the boy. She hid under her bed. "It wasn't my fault! I don't like socks with sandals!"

"Leni, that's enough!" Lincoln said. "The only way to conquer your fear of Clyde is to attack it head on. It's up to you two to resolve this dilemma."

"Yeah." Lori agreed. "I wanna get on with my life."

"What the heck are you guys talking about?" Clyde wondered.

"First stage is always denial Clyde." Lincoln said.

"Kiss and make up now." Lori said.

The white haired boy and the eldest sister left the room, leaving the ditzy blonde and the bespectacled kid alone. It was now quiet. Clyde stared at Leni who stared back in fear. Clyde then looked at the time on his watch before looking around, feeling he was in a awkward moment. Leni continued to stare. Clyde decided to break the awkward silence.

"Um Leni, this hurts me more than it does you."

Leni's eyes widen and she suddenly leaps at Clyde, pulling him into a tight bear hug.

"I love you Clyde!" She kisses him on the forehead. Clyde screams at the top of his lungs. We cut to Clyde screaming in his bed as it turns out he had just woken up from a dream. He looks under his bed. He sits back up.

"What a nightmare. That's it. No more spicy sushi before bed. I'll try to dream about Lori."

Clyde went back to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18: Look Into My Louds

**Now here's a Loud House version of the episode: Look Into My Eds**

* * *

"Um, Lana, are you sure this is safe?" Lola said nervously.

"Don't worry Lola." Lana reassured. The twins and Lisa are seen on top of a hill, inside a rocket cart. "Me and Lisa tested this ride out before when she was helping me build it."

"But there's still a chance this ride may be risky." Lisa informed.

"I like risks. Come on, let's start riding!"

Lisa took out a remote and pressed the start button, so the ride drove itself. The kids ride down the hill and through a sidewalk. They were going a bit too fast. Lana was enjoying the ride but Lola looked queasy.

"Lisa, we're going too fast! Stop the ride!" Lola yelled.

Lisa tried to slow it down, but the remote was malfunctioning. "Oh dear, it won't cease!"

"I thought you tested this!" Lola panicked.

Lisa began to panic but then she remembered something. "Lana, press the ejection button! The one in front of you!"

Lana pressed it. The three kids were launched out of the rocket cart and was sent flying into the tree in their front yard. The rocket cart crashed somewhere. The kids climbed down the tree.

"Well, that sure was safe." Lola said sarcastically.

"But that was fun!" Lana admitted.

"Look!" Lisa pointed at the postal delivery truck arriving at their home. A package was delivered in the mailbox. Then the truck left.

"The mail's here!" Lisa took out the package.

"Is it for me?" Lana wondered.

"It's for me!" Lola took the package from Lisa and teared it open, revealing a psychology book.

"Eww! It's a nerd book!" Lola tossed it away and Lisa caught it.

"It's my new psychology manual."

"Why do you read that mumbo jumbo stuff?" Lola asked.

"It covers the latest techniques in studying abnormal human behavior." Lisa explained. She showed the twins a page which had an ink blot. "Tell me the first thing that comes to your mind."

Lola thought. "Jewelry."

"A bug." Lana said.

Lisa showed them another ink blot. "And this."

"A tiara." Lola said.

Lana had to think for a few seconds. "A mud pie."

Lisa closed the manual. "Well, you're psychologically normal."

"How are mud pies normal?" Lola said. "Let me see." Lola grabbed the book and checked it. "Where's the answers?"

Something fell out of the book. It was some kind of wheel. Lola picked it up.

"What's this?"

"It looks like a lollipop." Lana said.

"That is a hypnotizing wheel." Lisa said. She took it. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She spun the wheel. "Lana, listen to my voice. When I snap my fingers, you will become what you've always dreamed off."

Lana was hypnotized by the spinning wheel. Her pupils disappeared.

"One, two, three." Lisa snapped her fingers. Lana started dancing. Lola and Lisa laughed at this. Then Lana grabbed Lola and started dancing with her. She started spinning her.

"Lisa, make her stop!"

Lisa giggled. Lana spun Lola around and let go, causing Lola to bump into Lisa.

"Back to Lana please." Lisa snapped her fingers. Lana stopped dancing and fell down.

"What just happened?" She said.

"I've been waiting for this opportunity." Lola took the wheel. "Let's go hypnotize our siblings."

"But Lola, I don't think that's such a good idea." Lisa said. "Who knows what consequences could happen?"

"Have I ever steered you wrong?" Lola asked.

"Yes."

"Let's just go."

* * *

Lynn was in her room bouncing a soccer ball. The twins and Lisa showed up.

"Hey Lynn." Lola said.

"What?"

"I've got something to show you."

"Is it one of your stuffed animals?"

Lola pulled out the hypno wheel and spun it. "Listen to the sound of my voice."

Lynn was hypnotized.

"You will become what I've always wanted you to become." Lola snaps her fingers. Lynn then started acting like a dog.

"Bark! Bark!"

"Find the bone Lynn." Lola said.

"Hmm, I kinda thought I would be a dog." Lana commented.

Then Lynn bit Lana's butt. "Ow! She bit my butt!"

Lola laughed while Lisa took notes.

"Interesting. Athletic sibling becomes a canine and likes to bite posteriors."

* * *

In Lori and Leni's room, the eldest sisters were texting on their phones. Then Lynn, still hypnotized as a dog, bursts in.

"Lynn, stay out of my room!" Lori said.

Lynn ran over to Leni and started licking her.

"Why are you literally licking Leni?"

"I don't mind Lori." Leni said, giggling. "I didn't know Leni was part dog."

The twins and Lisa came in. Lola now had the wheel attached to a turban she was wearing and also had a cape to go with her ensemble.

"Lynn's a slave to my powers." Lola said.

"She's our new pet dog." Lana mentioned.

"Get her outta here!" Lori grabbed Lynn and threw her at Lana. She bit Lana's butt again.

"Stop biting my butt!" Lana ran around.

"Beat it twerp!" Lori said to Lola. Lola spun her wheel and hypnotized Lori. She snapped her fingers. Lori then started acting like a frog. Lola laughed as Lisa took more notes.

"Intriguing."

Lola went over to Leni. "Ok Leni, what should you be? How about a big muscle woman?"

Lola spun the wheel and hypnotized Leni, then snapped her fingers. Leni flexed her muscles.

"Gimme something to bench."

Lori caught a spider with her tongue and chewed it. Lisa observed this.

"Advanced hypno morphing."

Lana ran with Lynn still on her and crashed into Leni who was lifting Lola.

"Ow, my head." Leni moaned.

Lynn jumped on her and started licking her again. Lori was still chewing on a spider.

"Lucky." Lana said to Lori.

"Everybody back to normal." Lola snapped her fingers and the hypnotized kids were back to normal. Lori spit out the spider and gagged.

"Later guys, I've got other fish to fry." Lola left with Lana and Lisa following her.

* * *

Luan was watching tv downstairs with Mr. Coconuts. The twins and Lisa came down.

"Hi Luan." Lola said.

"Hi Lola."

"Alright, enough small talk. It's hypnotizing time!" Lola spun the wheel. However, Luan wasn't hypnotized.

"I don't get it." Luan said. "Mr. Coconuts, what's Lola doing?...Mr. Coconuts? Coconuts?"

The dummy didn't respond.

"What have you done? You turned him into a mute zombie!" Luan ran off. Lola was confused.

"Ooh, can I try to hypnotize?" Lana asked. "Come on Lola."

Lana took the turban.

"Alright, alright." Lola said.

Lana put the turban on her head.

* * *

Luna was in the garage, playing her guitar. The three younger kids came in.

"Hey Luna!" Lana greeted.

Luna stopped playing. "Oh, what's up dudes?"

"Look into the spinny wheel." Lana pointed.

"Um...ok."

"It's not working." Lana told Lola.

"Spin it, mud for brains."

"Oh yeah." Lana spun the wheel and Luna was hypnotized. "When I snap my fingers, you will become a giant snake!"

Lana snapped her fingers and Luna acted like a snake. She slithered towards Lola and wrapped her body around her.

"No wait!" Lana said. "You are a big eagle hawk!"

Luna let out an eagle sound and picked up Lola with her teeth. She then started to fly by flapping her arms.

"Cool." Lana said. "Now you're a gorilla wrestler!"

Luna dropped Lola and fell to the ground. She pounded her chest and acted like a gorilla, then she lifted Lola up. Lola yelled.

"Wow, Luna's good." Lana said. "Ok, now she can be-"

"Stop! No more!" Lola begged.

"Ok, back to Luna." Lana snapped her fingers. Luna dropped Lola.

"Gimme that!" Lola took the turban back. "Amateur."

"That was awesome." Lana said.

* * *

Outside, the Loud kids (except Lucy) were all hanging out in the front yard. Lola had a plan to hypnotize her siblings all together.

"Ready Lisa?" Lola said as she tied her cape on.

"Yes, you may proceed." Lisa turned on a camera that was attached to a projector. The projector turned on. Lola was shown on a big screen that she was standing in front of.

"Hello my siblings!" Lola said, which caught the kids attention. "Behold, the great Loladini!"

Lola spun the wheel and the siblings, except Lisa, Lana, and Lucy were hypnotized. They all walked up to Lola.

"This is great." Lola commented and snapped her fingers. "I can never get tired of this."

The siblings all acted the way Lola wanted them too.

Lana was petting Lynn, who was acting like a dog again. "Ok Lynn, do your stuff."

Lynn ran off to fetch Lincoln. She dropped him in front of Lana. Lincoln was acting like a worm.

"Good girl." Lana said and feed Lynn some beef jerky.

Lisa observed Lily. She was dressed in a suit and had a briefcase.

"I'm guessing Lily is acting like a grown up." Lisa said.

"Yep." Lola said as Leni was giving her a ride on her back. "But you know, I feel like we're missing someone here."

"What are you guys doing?" Lucy asked, suddenly appearing next to Lola. Lola got startled.

"Lucy. I forget Lucy." Lola said. "But prepare to be mesmerized." Lola spun the hypno wheel.

"No one can mesmerize me." Lucy said.

"We'll see about that! Just look into my...uh." Lola grabbed Lucy's hair. "Move your hair out of your eyes."

"Don't touch my hair squirt." Lucy pushed Lola and the turban came off. Lucy got it. "What's this?"

"Hey, give that back!" Lola said.

Lucy now had on the turban and she spun the wheel, hypnotizing Lisa and the twins.

* * *

In Lucy and Lynn's room, Lucy was writing a poem. The three younger sisters were acting as Lucy's slaves. Lisa and Lana were fanning her while Lola was cleaning.

"Oh Lola, I'm feeling a little hungry." Lucy said. "Could you go downstairs and get me a bag of chips?"

"Yes Lucy." Lola said in a monotone voice.

"It's Madame Lucy."

"Yes Madame Lucy."

Lola walks off to do Lucy's request. Lucy smiles.


	19. Chapter 19: Rambling Loud

**A parody of the episode: Rambling Ed**

* * *

At the Loud house, Lincoln and his friends are watching an episode of ARRGH (Academy Of Really Good Ghost Hunters) in the living room.

"Salami, baloney, and pumpernickel loaf." Hunter Spector said, trying to summon ghosts using a crystal ball. "Listen up you spirits of the Underworld!"

"Ah think he's angered the spirits." Liam said worried. "As it is a travesty to mix salami and baloney."

"Shh!" Zack shushed.

"Enter, oh spirits of the Underworld!" Hunter Spector summoned. Then a "ghost" showed up. It looked like a man dangling from a rope who was covered in flour.

"There it is!"

"It's so repulsive." Zach said.

"Oh come on, it's obviously a man covered in flour." Lincoln said.

"I am a little teapot short and stout!" The ghost man said. "This is my handle, this is my spout!"

Then more ghosts showed up. They surrounded Hunter Spector.

"Uh oh. Too many ghosts!" He cried.

"Look out!" Clyde said.

"Get away! Don't haunt me!"

The boys watched the screen with concerned looks.

"Lincoln!" The boys got startled by Lola, who had just appeared.

"Oh, it's Lola, not Lucy this time." Rusty said.

"What is it Lola?" Lincoln asked.

"Come with me mister!" Lola dragged Lincoln upstairs to her room.

"Lola, I didn't clog the toilet this time." Lincoln said.

"It's not that! Look!" She pointed to the Ace Savvy underwear on her floor. "What's your underwear doing in my room?"

"I-I don't even know."

"Pick it up or I'll tell Mom!"

"Okay, okay!" Lincoln picked it up and left. Lana walked up to him.

"Wait Lincoln, can you put this in the fridge for me?" Lana gave him a moldy donut.

"Eww! You're planning on eating this?"

"You know me Lincoln. I'll eat moldy food. A little mold never did anything bad to me. Besides, you eat peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwiches."

Lincoln goes to the kitchen and puts the disgusting donut in the fridge. Then Lori shows up.

"Lincoln, I need you to clean the fridge." She said.

"But cleaning out the fridge was your chore."

"Not anymore. I've got plans with my friends."

"But-"

Then Lily showed up with her baby bottle. She babbled.

"Oh, you want some milk Lily? I'll get you some." He gets out the milk carton.

Then the other sisters showed up as they all had requests for their only brother. Lincoln's friends watched all this.

"It's times like this I'm glad I'm an only child." Clyde said.

"Why does Lincoln put up with them?" Rusty said. "This is pathetic. Lincoln should just tell them to-"

"Move it ginger!" Lola said. "Lincoln's got a lot of work to do."

She and the other sisters left the kitchen.

"Boy, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes." Lori said.

"They probably wouldn't fit you anyway." Leni replied.

"Well, Ah gotta go home now fellas." Liam said.

"Yeah, me too." Zach said.

"Ok, bye guys." Clyde said.

The farm boy and the redhead left the house. Rusty and Clyde looked in the kitchen and saw Lincoln baking a pie.

"What are you doing man?" Rusty said.

"Baking a pie for Luan." Lincoln replied. "She's preparing for a clown gig and doesn't have time to make the pie."

"If your sisters told you to read comics in your underwear, would you?"

"But they don't tell me to do that. It's a habit."

"Rusty, family matters are best left to experts who deal with situations like-"

Rusty threw an egg at Clyde. He turned to Lincoln.

"Now if you had your own place, you wouldn't have to take orders from anyone. You'd be your own boss. Pretty cool, huh?

"Yeah." Lincoln said. "Sometimes, I dream about of having my own place."

"Going out on one's own requires planning, Rusty." Clyde explained. "There's so much work involved that-"

"Relax Clyde, I'd help him pack." Rusty said.

"Ok, I'm convinced." Lincoln said.

"Wait, really?"

"Yep, but I'll just move out for a while. My parents wouldn't let me move out permanently at my young age."

"That's true." Rusty realized. "Ok Lincoln, let's get packing."

* * *

Lincoln had packed his luggage full of clothes, comics, action figures, and his stuffed animal Bun Bun. He went out the front door with Rusty following.

"So where do you wanna go Lincoln?" Rusty asked.

"Wait Rusty, what about my sisters? How will they go on without me?"

"I already took care of it." Rusty said. On cue, Clyde came out wearing a orange polo shirt and jeans. He even dyed his hair white. "Clyde will be your replacement."

"I wasn't sure about this at first, but I figured I'd get to spend time with Lori." Clyde said as he stared dreamily.

"Well, good luck Clyde." Lincoln said.

"Think big Lincoln." Rusty said. "If you could live anywhere, where would it be?"

"In a mansion."

"Well, that's not gonna happen." Rusty said. "But I know just the place."

* * *

At Liam's barn, Liam was at his vegetable patch. He tasted the soil and then spit it out. "The soil has been leached. Papa's fermented spores will cure this plague."

Then Liam went to his shed. "Filthy animals don't belong in this shed!"

Liam saw his cow and Lincoln and Rusty.

"Hey Liam!" Lincoln and Rusty greeted.

"What are you guys doing here? Do y'all need milk?"

"No, you gotta help us Liam." Rusty said.

Lincoln explained. "You see Liam, I've decided to move out of my house to live an independent life and to get away from my sisters, and well, here we are."

Liam smiled. "Well, this is a brave thing you're doing my white haired friend. Welcome to mah home. Please make yourself at home as ah couldn't sleep at night knowing you fellas are loose in the streets."

Liam left the shed.

"Liam sure is an upright fellow." Lincoln said.

"What a feeb." Rusty said.

"I'm going to unpack now." Lincoln unpacked his luggage.

"Did you bring sleeping bags?" Rusty asked.

"Oh, I had a feeling I forgot something." Lincoln said.

Outside, Liam was looking around his farm. "Hey, you two!" His pig and goat were eating in the vegetable patch. "Need Ah remind you, you're forbidden to eat in the vegetable patch?"

He dragged his pig and goat to a trough. Rusty pops out of it and startled Liam and the animals. He was naked and covered in food.

"Hi neighbor!" Rusty said.

"Why are you in the trough of food spoils?" Liam asked.

"Oh, is that what this is? I thought it was some kind of bath."

"Don't frazzle me! And please don't contaminate the food as pigs eat from it!"

Soon, Liam went to do one of his chores. He threw a rope around a stump and tried to pull the stump loose. "May shower scum devour your head!"

Then he sees Rusty on the stump, laying in a chair and relaxing.

"Rusty."

"What's up man?"

"Do you like being a guest at mah my place and, you know, make lazy on mah stump?"

"Are you kidding? It's great."

Then Liam sees Lincoln riding on his cow.

"I'm a cowboy! Whoo hoo!"

"A burden has been placed on me." Liam said, as he started to regret letting his friends stay at his home.

* * *

Liam was driving a tractor as Lincoln was balancing objects on eggs, such as bricks and a bucket.

"Egg-ceptional!" Lincoln puned.

"Lincoln, what are you doing?" Liam asked.

"I'm running some tests I've learned from Lisa!" Lincoln said. "You see, eggs can carry more than their own weight."

Liam wasn't paying attention to where he was going as he bumped into a rock. Then the tractor tipped over and Liam was flung into a stack of eggs, causing him to get covered in yolk and the eggs to scatter all over. Rusty came over.

"Wow Liam, you sure made a waste of perfectly good eggs."

Liam got up, now angry. "Mah patience is wearing thin like mama's head of hair!"

He dragged Rusty and Liam into the shed and threw them in. "You have the use of this shed and nothing more!"

He left, slamming the door shut.

* * *

Later that day, Liam was doing another chore, he was cleaning the chicken coop. When Liam wasn't looking, Lincoln and Rusty sneaked into his house. They went and raided his kitchen fridge and got some food. Then they went back to the shed. Liam came in wearing his pajamas. He went to grab something to eat in the fridge and saw most of the food was gone.

* * *

That night, Liam had lots of dishes to wash and was very tired. He stared out the window. "The moon resembles half eaten cheese."

He finally got done and went to sleep on the kitchen floor, but it wasn't comfortable for him so he just went to his room. He opened the door and saw the boys in his bed.

"Turn out that light!" Rusty barked.

"Oh, sorry!" Liam closed the door.

* * *

It's the next day and Liam is sleeping against his bedroom door, as he was too tired to care where he slept. He wakes up to the sound of beeping and sees smoke.

"Smoke?!" He runs to the kitchen and sees Rusty cooking breakfast. Rusty has made a bit of a mess.

"You haven't lived until you've tried one of my omelettes." Rusty said.

"Good morning Liam." Lincoln came with a orange and a newspaper. "Fresh fruit and the morning paper to start the day?"

He handed him the said items. "Also, you're all out of toilet paper and soap."

Liam looked distressed.

"I need ketchup for my eggs Liam, and some salt." Rusty said.

Liam snapped. **"THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ME!!!"**

Liam's yelling was so loud it could be heard from another area in town as people heard it. Chandler was distracted by it and fell off his bike when he bumped into a hydrant. Back at the farm, Rusty and Lincoln were back in the shed. The shed was knocked over.

"One, two, three!" The boys made the shed stand up again.

"Let's do it again!" Rusty said. Lincoln and Rusty used their feet to kick down the shed. They laughed. Then the door was opened. An angry Liam came in.

"Having fun with mah shed boys?!"

"Is everything ok Liam?" Lincoln asked.

"You have broken the celery stalk of the back of a SEA URCHIN!" Liam rips off his shirt and charges at the boys.

"What did he say?" Rusty wondered.

"SHAKLAHAM!"

* * *

"Ok boys, how should you start the day?" Liam was relaxing on a chair wearing shades and Lincoln and Rusty were stuck together by a saddle wrapped around their necks. "Oh, Ah know. You can start by-CLEANING MAH PIG PEN!"

The boys immediately get to work. Liam gave them more orders. "Also, you can get eggs from the chickens, get milk from the cow, mow the lawn, and then get a new plow for the family tractor!"

"Boy, Liam sure is bossy." Rusty said.

* * *

Later that day, Liam was still relaxing in his chair. Lincoln and Rusty came back to him, tired and irritated. The saddle was off them.

"Ah boys, you're back. Did you get that substitute plow for the tractor? The one that won't be ready in time for the harvest?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem Liam." Lincoln said, irritatedly. He and Rusty smiled at each other. "We've found just the one."

"Well, Ah'll be darned!" Liam said, raising his shades. "Where?"

Lincoln and Rusty say nothing. They stare at Liam, eyes narrowed angrily at him. It takes Liam a few seconds to realize what plow Lincoln's referring to. He gulps and hops off the chair, slowly backing away. The white haired boy and the bushy haired ginger march towards Liam at the same pace.

"Um, boys?" Liam smiles nervously. "Ah think you're a bit overworked all of a sudden."

"Overworked? US?" Rusty's eye twitches. "We can practically go on from dawn till dusk!"

Liam increases speed on his legs, only to be matched by Lincoln and Rusty.

"Why don't y'all just...take a break?" The farm boy suggested.

"Are you kidding?" Lincoln said and he and Rusty tear off their shirts. "We're just getting WARMED UP!"

"Yeah, Ah...Ah can see that." Liam runs away.

"LIAM!!!" The boys leap at him. Balls of dust are seen billowing up from the left direction. The sounds of Liam's horrified, painful screams and Lincoln and Rusty's frenzied roars fill the air.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'd like to give credit to DarthWill3 for the ending idea.**


	20. Chapter 20: My Fair Loud

**Here's a parody of the episode: My Fair Ed. Requested by Aartman7141999**

* * *

Lincoln and his sisters are helping their parents carry the groceries in. And by helping, the sisters are actually playing with the food to get the food they want and generally making a mess. Lincoln comes in the kitchen holding a bag.

"Ok guys, how are you doing with the...groceries?"

He saw the mess his sisters were making. Lola took a jar out of the bag.

"You gotta be kidding me?" She complained. "Reconstituted fava bean paste?"

Lincoln took the jar. "Excuse me, but fava beans are high in protein and quite delectable on saltine."

"What else have we got?" Lana said as she looked through a bag. She pulled out a jar of pickles. "Pickles? Where's the junk food?"

"Look, Mom And Dad appreciate our help but you're making a-"

Lynn squirted ketchup on Lucy.

"-mess."

"That ketchup looks good on you, Lucy." Lynn laughed.

"Sigh. If only it was blood."

"Oh Leni, wanna try some spinach?" Luan got out a can of spinach, which was a food Leni hated.

"Eww! Not the spinach!"

"Luan, show the products some respect!Lincoln said.

"Come on Leni, just try a little bite." Luan chased Leni. Leni ran out the door.

"Get that icky green stuff away from me!"

"Eat some Leni!" Luan ran out the door.

Lincoln ran after his two older sisters. "Luan, come back with that spinach!"

Then Lincoln saw Lori and his other sisters fighting.

"I found the last chocolate bar so it's mine!" Lori declared.

"Beauty before age!" Lola argued.

"Yeah, so it's mine!" Lana said.

The sisters got into a ball of violence and tumbled out of the house. Lincoln followed them.

"Guys, knock it off!"

* * *

In some part of the neighborhood, Flip has made a painting of Mrs. Johnson on the fence. (they are now dating after the events of The Sponge House chapter: Flippy Love)

"Oh Flippy, it's lovely!" She said impressed.

"A pretty painting for a pretty lady." Flip said. Suddenly, part of the fence was knocked over and it squished the couple. This was caused by the sisters who were fighting over the candy bar.

Leni and Luan run through Mr. Grouse's flower garden, causing a mess and destroying his flowers.

"Spinach bad for Leni! Make her stop!" Leni yelled.

The old man comes out back once the two girls have left.

"Can't an old man get a moment of peace?" He sees his wrecked garden. "My garden!"

Then Hank and Hawk are seen riding on their skateboards on the sidewalk. The fighting sisters run into them, causing the jocks to fall off their skateboards which broke.

"Louds." Hawk growled.

Liam was walking down the neighborhood with one of his chickens in his hand. He sees Leni.

"Howdy Leni."

Leni runs past him, causing him to spin and lose his chicken.

"Woohoo! What a ride, huh Jennifer?" Liam noticed he wasn't holding his chicken. "Jennifer?"

He sees Leni running off with his pet, which she accidentally stole. "Hey, you!"

The fightings sisters past through the neighborhood. Luan catches up with Leni and threatens her with the can of spinach.

"Gotcha! Prepare to scarf the-" Leni uses the chicken's beak to poke Luan in the hand, causing her to let go of the can sending it flying in the air. "Ow! Gee Leni, that hurt."

"Oh, I'm sorry Luan." Leni throws the chicken back and the can of spinach lands in her hand. Now Leni has the upper hand.

"Aha! Time for you to eat the spinach!" Leni chases after Luan.

"Quit it Leni!"

Luan and Leni run past a truck with a gaping hole in the back. Inside, it's revealed that the rest of the sisters are scarfing down a bunch of chocolate bars, much to their satisfaction.

Lincoln is seen still trying to catch up to his sisters. "Guys, control yourselves!"

Liam's chicken lands in his hands. Liam walks up to him.

"Hand over mah chicken!" He demanded.

"Why, of course Liam." Lincoln hands Liam the chicken.

"Boy, if we weren't friends, Ah'd get violent." Liam said bitterly and then walked off.

"But Liam, I-"

"Loud! Look at my petunia!" An angry Mr. Grouse showed Lincoln his squashed flower that was in a small coffin. "It's been trampled, squashed by your crazy sisters!"

"Hey Lincoln!" Flip was walking down the sidewalk holding Mrs. Johnson's hand. They were both injured and Mrs. Johnson looked dazed, as she had paint on her. "Look what your sisters did to poor Mrs. Johnson!"

"Why must a teacher suffer so?"

Lincoln got nervous. "Um, now let's all remain calm."

Hawk grabbed him by the shirt collar. "We've had it with your troublemaking sisters! You better get them to stop destroying everything or we'll destroy you!"

"They won't listen to me-" Before Lincoln can finish, Hank and Hawk do something brutal to him. The others residents watch surprised. Liam covers his chicken's eyes.

* * *

Lincoln's sisters are in the backyard. Leni is seen running around a tree, having been tricked by Luan. The other sisters are still enjoying their chocolate bars.

"You're getting warmer Leni." Luan said.

Lincoln returns and the sisters see he has been twisted into a human pretzel, shocking them, even Lori.

"Guys, Hank and Hawk said they're gonna do this to me next time if you guys don't stop your destructive ways." Lincoln said.

"How dare they turn you into a human pretzel?" Lori said appalled. "That's literally my job."

"You guys have really done it this time!" Lincoln scolded. "Show some self control! Your bad behavior has everyone infuriated!"

"They're just being a bunch of babies." Lynn replied. The other sisters didn't take his complaints seriously as well. Lincoln pretends to accept this.

"Fine. But promise me you'll visit me at the freak show. I'll be the boy with the pretzel body, no salt. I'll be humiliated, and it'll be all because of you guys."

The sisters then looked guilty.

"Wait Lincoln!" Lana said. "We can't help it! It's in our blood!

"Yeah, we need help dude." Luna added.

The others agreed.

"Just what I wanted to hear." Lincoln said smiling. "Let's begin, shall we?"

Lincoln left. Leni was still running around the tree. "Almost got you Luan!"

"Leni, you can stop that now." Lori said.

* * *

Soon, the sisters (except Lily) were all gathered in the dining room. They were all wearing metal neck braces around their necks.

"So Lisa, tell me again why we're wearing these neck braces?" Lola said.

"It's part of our training." Lisa explained. "Lincoln informed me to make these for us and he will provide us with lunch."

"Ugh, this thing is chafing me." Lynn complained.

Then Lincoln came in holding a tray of his favorite food: peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwiches.

"Food!" Lana yelled.

Then all the sisters started chanting. "Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food!" Food! Food! Food!"

"Ladies please!" Lincoln tried to settle them down, but they kept chanting. He pulled out a remote with ten different buttons. One button was used for all of them. He pressed it, causing them to get shocked.

"OW!!"

"Hey, what was that for?" Luan asked.

"It's to remind you guys of your manners." Lincoln explained. He set the tray on the table. "A bracing dose for you two to comply and behave in a socially acceptable manner."

"What a load of-" Lola complained. She took a sandwich. "What is this junk anyway? I thought we were gonna eat something, not bury it."

"That's my favorite food!" Lincoln said indignantly. He shocked Lola with the remote.

"YOWCH!"

Lana laughed at her. "Naughty naughty. You watch yourself missy."

"It's not polite to laugh at others misfortunes Lana." Lincoln shocked Lana. "I'll be right back."

Lincoln left. As soon as he left, Lynn stuffed the sandwich in her shorts.

"No way I'm eating this."

Lincoln came back. "I saw that Lynn!" He used the remote to shock her. Luna quietly snickered, causing her to get shocked.

"Not cool bro."

The siblings received more pain due to their misbehavior. They all groaned in agony.

"Why can't you guys just eat your sandwiches?" Lincoln said.

"How about you eat a knuckle sand-" Lola stopped when she saw Lincoln about to press a button on his remote. She realized she was about to get shocked again.

"Uh, nevermind." She took a bite of her sandwich, and looked disgusted.

"This sandwich isn't that bad actually." Lana said, talking with her mouth full.

Lincoln shocked her. "Don't talk with your mouth."

Lana swallowed. "I'm sorry Lincoln. It was so wrong of me and it won't happen again."

"I'm glad to hear that Lana."

"May I interrupt?" Lola said. "I finished my lunch so I'll wash my plate and put it away."

Luan was about to head to the kitchen but Lincoln stopped her. "Stop where you are. I hope you're not going to do anything you might regret in the kitchen."

"Me? No, those days are history."

"I learned well too, Lincoln." Lori said.

"Let me get that Lori." Lola took her plate and went to the kitchen. "Relax."

"Let me help you with that Lola." Lori followed.

"We'll help too." Lucy and Leni said and headed into the kitchen. The others headed into the kitchen to help too.

"I can't wait till the others see my progress." Lincoln said to himself.

* * *

Liam's kite was stuck in a tree as he was trying to get it down. "Oh, fer crying out loud! It's stuck!"

He gave up and sat next to the tree. Then Lincoln passes by.

"Hey Liam."

"Howdy Lincoln."

Then the rest of his sisters past by and greet Liam.

"Hey Liam."

"Guys, you ok?"

"We're literally just fine." Lori said and the sisters walked off. Lana stayed behind to chat.

"Why the long face Liam?"

"Well, mah kite's stuck in the tree." He pointed up to where the kite was.

"Let me get that for you cause I'm a new me." Lana climbed up the tree and got to where the kite was. She grabbed it with her mouth and went down.

"Wow, thanks Lana."

Lana spits out the kite and we see a part of it is chewed off. Liam was highly displeased.

"Thanks a lot." He said angrily.

At Mr. Grouse's house, the old man is seen washing his van with a hose, trying to get rid of the bird poop. "Dang birds, pooping on my car."

Lincoln, Lola and Lori showed up. The two girls decide to help him out. Lori grabs the hose and Lola uses a sponge to wash his car.

"Let us help you with that." Lori said.

Mr. Grouse looks suspicious. "Alright, what do you want?"

"We just want to help out." Lola said. "We're new ladies."

"That's right, Mr. Grouse." Lincoln explained. "They're totally reformed. A little training has turned my sisters into upright fine fellows."

Mr. Grouse looks pleased. "Good work. I guess they aren't so troublesome after all."

Then Lori hosed Mr. Grouse. "Your turn."

"What are you doing?" Lincoln asked.

"Giving Mr. Grouse a hand." Lori replied as she and Lola started washing the elderly man.

"You can smell him a mile away." Lola commented.

"Oh man, you guys are relapsing!" Lincoln shocked them with the remote again.

"OUCH!" They yelled.

"Stay back!" Mr. Grouse said.

"Oops, we must've missed a spot." Lori said as the two sisters continued to wash Mr. Grouse.

"This can't be happening!" Lincoln said worried.

"Let go of me, you twerps!" Hawk demanded. Lincoln noticed Luan and Leni were flossing Hawk's teeth.

"Like, we gotta make sure you don't get any cavities." Leni said.

"Yeah, otherwise you'll have POOR-al hygiene." Luan jokes.

"Leni, Luan, Stop!" Lincoln ran over to them. He heard the cries of Mrs. Johnson.

"Help me!" She cried as Lisa is seen buttoning up her coat too much.

"Glad to assist you!" Lisa said before running off. Lincoln went over to help his poor teacher.

"Hold on Mrs. Johnson! Let me help!"

Before he can lend a hand, an angry Mr. Grouse tapped his shoulder. He was soaking wet.

"Oh, hi Mr. Grouse." Lincoln said nervously.

"I just wanted a clean car," Mr. Grouse said. "Not a sponge bath!"

"Yeah, well you don't even wanna know what they did to me!" Hank said as he had a paper bag over his head.

"I'm sick just thinking about it!" Liam said.

"Someone's gonna pay for this!" Flip said angrily as he helped Mrs. Johnson. The angry citizens began to surround Lincoln.

"We hate dorks!" Hank and Hawk growled.

Thinking fast, Lincoln made a run for it and escaped. He hide behind a trash can and the residents ran past him. When the coast was clear, Lincoln ran off. He ends up finding his two other sisters, Lynn and Luna, who are ripping up a flower garden.

"Ain't that pretty?" Lynn said.

Lincoln runs up to them. "Stop! Something's gone wrong! You've become worst!"

"Pesky weeds, dude." Luna said as she showed Lincoln the weeds were actually flowers. "No longer a problem."

"I've created a monster!" Lincoln snaps his finger at the two, who are still pulling flowers. "Snap out of it guys!"

"Let me help you." Lynn said and grabbed Lincoln.

"Oh guys, I'm so sorry! I should never have tried to change who my sisters are!"

Then Lucy appears behind Lincoln. "Hey Lincoln." He gets startled. "I've done some planting for the neighbors."

Lucy showed what she planted. There were tombstones buried on the ground. Lincoln looked shocked. Then Lynn perches his head on a stick.

"There you go bro." Lynn, Luna, and Lucy leave to do more "good deeds."

* * *

By mid-afternoon, Lincoln has given up and is just sitting on the front porch of his house, looking remorseful. His sisters show up.

"Hey dear brother, you look sad." Lola said. "May we be of assistance?"

"Go away. I just want my old sisters back."

"Do you need help sitting?" Lori asked.

"Or help being sad?" Lucy asked.

Then the sisters started to laugh, real hard. Lincoln looked up, confused.

"What a sap!" Lynn said.

"We fooled you all along Lincoln!" Luan revealed.

They continue to laugh as Lincoln gets angry.

"Guys, it's not polite to laugh at others." Leni jokes. The girls laugh some more, but then they notice Lincoln is gone.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Lana wondered.

Then Lincoln came back out with the can of spinach. His sisters got scared.

"How dare you mess with my emotions?" He said angrily. His sisters scream and run off. They run into the two jocks, Hank and Hawk, causing their skateboards to break again. The two boys see Lincoln with the can of spinach. Lincoln immediately goes back inside and shuts the door. The two boys walk up to the house, holding their broken skateboards.

"Hey Lincoln, C'mere!" Hawk called, preparing to give Lincoln a beating. "We've got something for ya!"

"Have mercy!"


	21. Chapter 21: One Size Fits Loud

A **parody of the episode: One Size Fits Ed**

* * *

Lola and Lana were outside the house playing a game.

"Ok, my turn." Lana said and Lola handed her a toy wand. "I wish I was covered in trash."

Lana waved the wand and waited. Lola got the trash out of the trash can and dumped trash onto Lana.

"My wish came true!" Lana said happily.

"Ooh, I've got one!" Lola took the wand and waved it. "I wish for my name to be up in lights! Fame, glamour, and bodyguards! I wanna be a star!"

"Hold on." Lana went into the garage and came back with a star costume. "Is this star big enough?"

Lola was not amused. "Hah hah, very funny. This game isn't much fun if your wish doesn't actually come true."

Lincoln and Lisa were now outside and walked up to the twins.

"What are you guys doing?" Lincoln asked.

"We're playing a wish granting game." Lana explained. "You see, when one person makes a wish, you try to make it come true."

"And I just realized this game is pointless." Lola complained. "I want my wishes to really come true! I wanna be famous! (sighs) Oh well, at least I have my stuffed animals to make feel that way."

Lola walks inside the house.

"Well I guess you can't please everyone." Lana said as she went back inside too.

"The twins sure are intriguing." Lisa said to Lincoln.

"Yep." He agreed. "But let's continue with our money making business. How much money have we earned so far?"

Lisa looked at her notepad. "One dollar and ninety cents."

"Hmm, not good enough. We did do a good job with our street performing, especially with your dancing, but we should make our business more successful."

"So what do you propose we do?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'll think of something. After all, I am the man with the plan."

Suddenly Lynn came outside. She was wearing a tank top and her shirt was wrapped around her waist like a sumo mawashi. She made sumo sounds.

"Lynn?" Lisa said.

"Boozah!" She used her belly to throw Lincoln to the ground. "Guess what I am guys!"

"A pain in the butt?" Lisa mocked.

Lynn headbutts Lisa. "Sukiyaki! No, I'm a sumo wrestler! I watch them on tv."

Lynn did some more sumo sounds. Lincoln got back up.

"Lynn, this sumo stuff is good!" He said.

"Potato!" Lynn did a jump.

"Save it for the paying customers."

"Customers?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna make you the sumo wrestling champ of the world! We'll be rich! What do you say?"

Lynn thought about it. "Nah." She walked off to perform more moves. Lincoln looked disappointed. Lynn hit a trash can with her head.

"Aw come on Lynn." Lincoln offered. "Sumo wrestlers eat tons of food. You love eating."

"That's true, but I don't want to gain all that weight." Lynn walked away.

"Well Lincoln, seems fame and fortune has passed you by." Lisa said with a smirk. "Maybe Lola's wish would have been easier to fulfill."

"Lola?" Lincoln remembered. "Lola! She wanted to be famous! Let's go get her!"

Lincoln began to run off.

"I was just kidding Lincoln!" Lisa said. "I don't think Lola would want to be a sumo wrestler!"

"The brain can be fooled by what the eye heaves." Lincoln told her.

"That's perceives Lincoln." Lisa corrected.

"Lynn, we're gonna make Lola famous and we need your help." Lincoln said.

Lynn hit another trash can. "You're gonna turn Lola into a sumo wrestler? This I gotta see."

* * *

Lola is in her room making autographs of her for her stuffed animals. "And here's your autograph, Mr. Bear. Now go get some berries or something, I'm busy." She turned to a stuffed bunny. "Oh, another adoring fan. My public loves me."

Lana watched this from her bed, looking annoyed.

"How about you little lady?" Lola offered her an autograph. "Go ahead. You know you want one."

Lana took one and tore it in half. "You're so full of yourself! You better watch what you wish for Ms. Star."

Lana walked out of the room.

"You better watch what you wish for." Lola repeated in a mocking tone.

Then Lynn came in and took Lola with her.

"Hey, where are you taking me Lynn? Let go!"

Lynn ignored her and went into the backyard. She set Lola down and wrapped a towel around her waist. Lincoln, now in a coaching uniform, blew a whistle and gave Lola a fork and spoon.

"Go like this Lola." Lynn said. "Hoy hoy hoy!"

"Pardon me?"

Lincoln blew the whistle. "Go get the food Lynn."

Lynn ran off to get the food, saying "Hoy" all the way. Lincoln went off to get some things. Lola just looked confused about what was going on. Lisa walked up to her dressed in a robe and wearing a Chinese take out box on her head.

"Lisa, what's going on?" Lola asked.

"What the honorable white haired trainer is attempting to do is make Lola-San a star."

Lola got excited. "Me? A star?"

Lincoln came back with a chair and a small tv. "The road to stardom starts with catering kid. You're gonna be huge!"

"I'm with you Lincoln!" Lola sat down on the chair. "I want to be a V.I.P! Ready, willing, and able! Mold me."

"Bingo." Lincoln said.

Lynn comes back with a bag of meat. "Let's get some meat in your bones Lola!"

"Isn't that Dad's meat?" Lisa asked.

"Relax, Geisha girl." Lynn assured. "He has plenty more from his restaurant."

"Nice going Lynn." Lincoln commented. He set some meat on the table for Lola.

"I can't eat this slop!" Lola said. "Come with me."

Lola walked off.

"Prima Donna." Lincoln muttered.

Lincoln followed her to the garage where there was a fridge.

"Did we get a new fridge?"

"Yes." Lola said. "This is my own private stock."

She opened the fridge to reveal canned peaches and cream.

"Peaches and cream? Sure, that'll work."

* * *

Now we go to a montage of Lola eating and stuffing her face with peaches and cream. Lisa suggested she use chopsticks like the Japanese tradition, but Lincoln didn't allow it. Then they got a giant funnel from Lisa in which Lincoln used to pour peaches and cream into. Lola gulps it all down but still hasn't gained any weight, and the fridge is now empty. Suddenly, Lola swells immensely as the other kids move out of the way. Everything is knocked away and Lola crushes her chair.

"I told you I'd make her big!" Lincoln said amazed.

"She's huge!" Lynn said amazed as well.

"She's a ton of fun!"

Lola's necklace broke off due to her face being chubby.

"And this is just the beginning Lola!" Lincoln said. "You're our ticket to Cashville!"

Lola started crying. "What happened to my slim figure? I look like a, a sumo wrestler!"

"Sumo wrestlers are stars Lola!" Lynn stated.

"Sumo wrestlers are stars?"

"Well, yes." Lisa informed. "They're highly revered within their own culture. They have legions of fans who cater to their every whim."

"Really?"

"You bet!" Lincoln said as he made a dirt circle on the ground with his foot. "Step into the ring and-"

"Look at Lola waddle." Lynn said.

Lola was trying to move but she couldn't. "My tushie's too big!"

Lisa made a circle around Lola. "I thought it would be easier to bring the ring to Lola. After all, she is a star."

"Yokozuna Lynn!" Lincoln called.

Lynn goes into the ring. "Heavy-San!"

"Uh, what's Lynn doing?" Lola questioned.

"Yokozuna Lynn wishes to wrestle you," Lincoln explained. "-as you are now the world famous, uh, honorable, uh...ima big girl Lola-San!"

"Boy, that was very clever Lincoln." Lisa said sarcastically.

"Hey, I get around."

"You want a piece of me?" Lola challenged Lynn. Lynn got ready and charged at Lola. She dives into her belly and disappears.

"Lynn vanished." Lisa said.

"Did I win?" Lola said.

"Ok Lynn, quit fooling around." Lincoln said. "Lynn?...Uh Lola, do you think you could, uh-"

"Yeah, I'll get here out." Lola lifted up her belly fat and shot Lynn out. Lynn gasped for air.

"Oh man, I couldn't breathe in there!"

Lincoln jumped onto Lola. "You made it kid! You're a star! And we're gonna be so rich!"

He gives her a smooch on the cheek.

"I'm a star?" Lola said.

"Sumo wrestlers are revered!" Lincoln said.

"In Japan." Lisa added.

"You'll have legions of fans who'll cater to your every whim!"

"In Japan."

Lincoln looked at Lisa puzzled. He got off Lola. "Ok Lisa, I'll bite. So your point is?"

"Sumo wrestlers are revered, celebrated, and affluent only in Japan, Lincoln!"

Lincoln got mad. "How are you supposed to go to JAPAN?!" He growled in frustration.

"Don't give up now Lincoln!" Lola said. "The show must go on!"

"Quit living in the clouds Lola. There's no way I'm sending you to Japan." Lincoln marches towards Lisa. "And you knew it all along! Did I make you laugh Lisa, huh?"

Lisa backed away. "Honestly, I thought it would be a good learning experience for you."

Lincoln grabbed her by the collar. "Come on Lis, you must have some kind of invention that could get us to Japan!"

"Yeah!" Lola agreed. "I trusted you guys! It'll take me weeks to trim these thighs! I want to be a star!"

"And I want some sushi." Lynn added.

"I suppose I do have an invention that could get us there." Lisa said. Lincoln put her down.

"Great! We're going to Japan guys!" Lincoln said. "We'll be eating with chopsticks in no time!"

"I'm gonna be a star!" Lola said happily.

* * *

Lisa came back with the invention. It was a teleporting ray gun.

"Here we are." Lisa said, presenting her invention. "My teleportation ray. It'll teleport us to a few places, including Japan."

"Alright, let's do this!" Lincoln said.

Lisa turned the dial to the Japan setting.

"I'm gonna be rich!" Lincoln said.

"I'm gonna be famous!" Lola said.

"I'm gonna try some sushi!" Lynn said.

Lisa aimed a beam of light at her three older siblings. Lincoln and Lynn were teleported first. They appeared in midair and then fell to the ground.

"Ow." Lincoln groaned. "This doesn't look like Japan."

Then Lola appeared in midair and fell right on Lincoln and Lynn, crushing them with her massive weight. It's shown that they just teleported into the front yard. Lisa came to the front and saw this.

"Oh dear. Perhaps my invention requires a little more work."

* * *

Lisa came downstairs and went to the living room. "Hello elder siblings, how are you feeling?"

Lincoln and Lynn were laying on the couch, injured and covered in body casts. They groaned in pain. Lisa poured tea into Lynn's makeshift IV.

"I hate tea." Lynn complained.

"Well, have you learned anything today Lincoln?" Lisa asked.

"I learned that not all of my plans don't work." Lincoln said. He sighs. "I've never been in so much pain before."

Then they heard a whistle. Lisa looked out the window and saw Lana coaching Lola.

"Move it tubby!" Lana ordered. "Is that the best you can do? I wanna see some sweat missy!"

An overweight Lola appeared riding a bike and sweating profusely. She was wearing a hoodie and sweat pants.

"I feel like I'm going to explode!" Lola whined.

"Move it!"

Lincoln saw this too. "I learned something else Lisa."

"What?"

"We should open up a weight loss clinic!" Lincoln said. "We'd be rich!"

Lincoln tried to get out the window. "Hey Lola! Stupid cast. Lola!"

He fell out. Lisa shook her head and sighed, then left.

"Lisa? A little help?"


	22. Chapter 22: Sorry, Wrong Loud

**Here's a parody of the episode: Sorry Wrong Ed. This is considered one of the worst EEnE episodes but I wanted to try it out anyway. The ending will be better than the original.**

* * *

Mr. Grouse is digging a hole in his front yard. Lori, Leni, and Lisa notice this and watch. He takes something out of a small box. It's a gold iphone. This catches Lori's attention even more.

"Check it out! I think that's a gold iPhone!" Lori went over to her neighbor. "Mr. Grouse, how's an old dud like you get a sweet phone like this?"

"Stay back!" Mr. Grouse uses the shovel to pick up the phone and move it to the hole he dug up.

"You aren't throwing that away, are you?"

"Ask no questions!" Mr. Grouse starts to bury the phone in dirt.

"A ceremonial phone burial?" Lisa said perplexed. "Gee, how quaint."

"The phone must have passed away. Poor phone." Leni said.

"I have to complete this task or we're all doomed!" Mr. Grouse continued adding more dirt to the hole. Lori had taken the phone out.

"I'll give you a breath mint for it." She offered.

"Fool!" Grouse smacked the phone out of her hand and buried it.

"Pardon me Mr. Grouse, but how can a phone be a messenger of doom?" Lisa questioned.

"No nothing!" Grouse replied.

"Don't bury it!" Lori said. "Give it to me!"

"Loud, this phone has cursed me for months! Just walk away!"

"You must have cracked, Mr. Grouse." Lori said, as she tried to get him away from the phone. "Say, why don't you take a nice walk downtown and I'll guard the big bad phone for you."

"Well, I could use a break. Thank you Loud." Mr. Grouse walked off.

"That was really nice of you Lori, to ease Mr. Grouse's intrinsic guilt." Lisa said.

Lori waved bye to her neighbor. "Sucker. Alright, time to start digging."

Lori grabs the shovel and starts digging for the phone.

"But Lori, you already have a phone." Lisa said.

"You're just jealous cause I'm claiming it." Lori said.

"But I thought it was dead." Leni said.

* * *

In Lori's room, Lori set the phone down on her dresser as she admired looking at it. "Cuts a figure in society, doesn't it?"

Lisa and Leni were there too. Then the phone rang.

"Someone's calling me!" Lori said excited. She answered the phone. "Hello?"

Suddenly, part of the ceiling cracked and fell onto Lori. "Ow!"

"Lori, are you ok?" Leni asked concerned and helped her sister up.

"What just happened?"

"Looks like your ceiling requires repairing." Lisa mentioned.

Then the phone rang again. Leni picked it up and noticed the caller was Bobby. "It's Bobby!"

"Bobby? Gimme that!" Lori took the phone back and laid on her bed, answering the call. "Hey Bobby Boo Boo Bear."

Suddenly, a spring popped out from inside the bed, causing Lori to fly up and hit the ceiling. She landed back down and got tangled in the spring. Leni looked shocked.

"Looks like you also require a new bed." Lisa said mockingly. "Shall we ask Mr. Grouse if he's buried one somewhere?"

Lori got out of the spring, looking puzzled. "Uh...yeah, sure."

Then the phone rang again. Lisa picked it up. "It's one of your friends, I believe."

Lori took the phone and answered. "Hello?"

Then an ice cream kart came through the window and landed on Lori. The phone rang again and Leni answered it.

"Lori's in pain right now. She'll have to call you back."

Lori ran to the front door and put the phone on the ground. Lisa and Leni followed.

"What an unfortunate set of circumstances." Lisa said.

"Something's up with that phone!" Lori said worried. Then the phone rang again. Leni was about to answer it.

"Another caller!"

Lori stopped her. "Wait Leni, let it ring! Just pretend we're not home!"

The phone continues to ring.

"But then again, maybe it's Bobby calling me again." Lori went to answer. She saw Bobby's number and looked around nervously before answering. "Hello?"

A skunk came out of a bush and sprayed Lori.

"Oh look Leni, a skunk!" Lisa said fascinated. "Did you know in some parts it's also known as a polecat?"

Lori walked over to her siblings, now having bad odor and shocked.

"Ugh, Lori you smell worse than Lana." Leni commented, fanning the smell away.

"This stupid phone's cursed!" Lori panicked and ran back inside. She went into her room and added deodorant on herself. Lisa and Leni walked up to her room.

"Oh come now Lori, these unfortunate mishaps are random at best." Lisa stated. "Any relationship to Mr. Grouse's phone of doom is pure coincidence."

"I say we test it." Lori said, coming out.

"Test it?" Lisa said.

"Like ranch?" Leni said.

* * *

At the construction site, Lori is wearing a helmet and is behind a blockade, working a makeshift air raid siren. "Evacuate the area! Man your stations!"

Leni, wearing a pillow on her head and a mattress around her body, is carrying the phone with hockey sticks. She sets the phone in the middle of the construction site.

"Easy Leni, easy...Stand clear Leni!"

"Honestly Lori, it's just a phone." Lisa said.

Lori is looking at the phone through binoculars. "What's taking it?"

"Maybe it's onto us Lori." Lisa giggled. Lori glared at her. Then the phone rings.

"Aha!"

Leni stands next to the ringing phone but doesn't answer it.

"You're supposed to answer it Leni!" Lori yelled.

Leni picked up the phone and answered it. "Hello?"

Nothing happens.

"There. That proves it Lori." Lisa said. "Any correlation between the phone and your accidents is-"

A light pole breaks down and falls on Lori. "Ow."

"I assure you, there is a rational reason for this mischance." Lisa explained. She picks something up from the base. "Aha! Here's your culprit! Just a rusty worn nut."

Lori comes out of the pole, dazed and injured. "Evil phone...bad...rotten."

The phone rings again.

"Don't answer it Leni!" Lori ran over.

"Rusty worn nut Lori!" Lisa confirmed.

Leni answered it. "Hi, it's me again."

Lori panicked as she saw another light pole. She thought she would suffer the same misfortune so she used Leni for protection. But this time, a wrecking ball squashed her.

* * *

The doorbell rang at Mr. Grouse's house. He answered it. "Can I help you Loud?"

"Here! Take back you stupid phone! It's cursed!" Lori tossed the phone to Mr. Grouse, as she was now more bruised. Mr. Grouse panicked when he saw the gold phone that Lori had given to him.

"Oh no, Loud! It's your property!" He tossed the phone back to Lori.

"It's yours! You keep it!" She tossed the phone back to Mr. Grouse.

"Half wit Loud!" He tossed the phone to Leni.

"Hot potato!" Leni tossed the phone to Lisa.

"If I may interject-" Lisa was tossed over to Mr. Grouse by Lori.

"People please-"

Mr. Grouse tossed Lisa to Leni.

"-control yourselves!"

Leni tossed her back to Mr. Grouse.

"Wait! You've let a common household phone-"

Mr. Grouse tossed her back to Lori.

"-feed upon your lack of rational thinking! Lori!"

Lori threw Lisa off her and took the phone. "Mr. Grouse, take it back! I beg you!"

"Take what back? I have no idea what you're talking about!" He tried to distract Lori. "Hey, is that your boyfriend over there?"

"Bobby?" Lori turned around and Mr. Grouse quickly went into his house and shut the door.

"Why did I fall for that?" Lori groaned. She threw the phone to Leni, hitting her. The phone rang again and Leni handed it to Lisa.

"Oh for Einstein's sake." Lisa answered the phone. "Greetings, this is Lisa Loud speaking."

Then a bunch of birds flew next to Lori. They had their rear ends facing her.

"Mommy." Lori whimpered.

(You can guess what happens next)

* * *

Lori tried to destroy the phone since she was still stuck with it. She slammed it on the ground, but it remained undamaged. She used a sledgehammer to smash it. That didn't work. She then used a jackhammer. That didn't help either. She attached a dynamite to the phone and tossed it away. The dynamite blew up and it caused a big hole in the ground. Lori looked inside and saw the phone was still unharmed. Lisa and Leni came outside.

"That does it! I literally got to get rid of this phone!" Lori declared.

* * *

Clyde was walking down the neighborhood. Lori ran up to him, with Leni and Lisa tagging along.

"Hey Clyde!"

"L-L-Lori?" He was about to have a nosebleed. Lori clogged his nose with a tissue.

"Here's a free phone just for you Clyde!" Lori said. She used glue to stick it to Clyde's chest. "I'll just glue it to your chest so you don't lose it! Ok?"

"Okaaay." Clyde said confused.

"Bye!" Lori ran off. Clyde was speechless for a moment.

"Lori gave me a phone for free?" He looked lovestruck. "She must really like me."

Lori walked off happily with Leni and Lisa. "Woohoo! No more bad luck! And no more cursed phones for this chick!"

Lisa got steamed. "PHONES AREN'T CURSED LORI! THEY'RE PLASTIC!" She calmed herself. "Calm down Lisa. Think ocean waves, sea mammals, arias."

"Like, what that your dark side Lisa?" Leni asked.

"Well, I don't know about you ladies, but I'm heading over to the mall for the rest of the evening." Lori said and walked off.

"Count me in." Leni said.

"Me too." Lisa said. "I'm all up for a bit of normality after a day like today."

* * *

The three sisters arrived at the mall in Vanzilla.

"I hope they have those flip flops that look like my sandals." Leni said.

"I'm gonna get some good luck charms." Lori said.

"Good luck charms?" Lisa questioned. "Lori, are you still on this curse fixation? There's no such thing!"

"Says you."

Lori got out of the van. Suddenly, a huge tire rolled over her. Lori got up, injured.

"See? What do you call that?"

Then an oven fell onto Lori, crushing her. She came out, more injured. Then a herd of rhinos charged and trampled her. Lisa looked shocked.

"LORI, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"Uhhh...yeah, I'm fine." Lori said. Lisa and Leni helped her up.

"I believe you Lori." Lisa said.

"Don't...wait, you believe me?"

"Yes, you were right!" Lisa realized. "That phone really is cursed! No matter who answers the phone, the curse always comes to you!"

"That's probably true!" Lori also realized. "There must be someway to destroy that phone!"

Lisa thought for a moment. "I think there is. But first, we have to find Clyde!"

The sisters rush over to a neighborhood and find Clyde. He was about to answer the phone.

"DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!" They yelled. Lori swiped it from Clyde's shirt and the sisters leave. Clyde, confused, just shrugs and walks off. The three girls arrive back home. They go to Lisa's room and Lisa gets out one of her beakers. She pours a chemical liquid on the phone and it disintegrates. The phone is now completely destroyed.

"You did Lisa!" Lori said overjoyed. "I'm literally free from this curse!"

"Indeed." Lisa said. "Oh, and I'd like to apologize. I should have known better than to assume it was a coincidence."

"It's ok Lisa." Lori said. "I'm just glad it's all over now."

Lori and Leni leave the room.

"Hey Lori, wanna do some texting?" Leni asked.

"I'd like that Leni." Lori replied. "My old phone is the only phone for me, and I wouldn't trade it for any other."


	23. Chapter 23: Honor Thy Loud

**A parody of the EEnE episode: Honor Thy Ed**

* * *

We see an abandoned house, which looks haunted. Then we see Lincoln and his friends Clyde and Zach at the Loud house across the street. They're sitting on the porch, eating tacos for lunch.

"Your Dad sure does make the best tacos Lincoln." Clyde said.

"He's definitely the best chef I know." Zach commented.

"Thanks guys." Lincoln said. "What do you think of his hot sauce?"

Zach had gulped down some hot sauce from a bottle. "Hot sauce? More like weak sauce."

"It's not really hot at all." Clyde said.

"I don't believe this." Lincoln said and he took the hot sauce bottle. "This stuff is supposed to be a real gut burner."

He licked a bit of it. Then he noticed Clyde's face turning red as Clyde started sweating. Steam came out of his ears. Then Lincoln saw Zach had the same effect. Now Lincoln's face was red and his hair tuft resembled a fuse, burning down to his head. A huge flame is seen in the neighborhood. The three boys run to a sprinkler and glop down on it. The sprinkler slams them back and forth repeatedly as the water washes their mouth free of the spicy aftertaste. Then there was a shriek.

"Guys, a girl's shriek of terror!" Clyde said.

"I think that was from Rusty." Zach pointed across the street.

Rusty, Chandler, Girl Jordan, Stella, and Liam are seen across the street.

"What's going on?" Chandler asked.

"There! In the window!" Rusty pointed to the abandoned house. "A dark figure cast a shadow, its body contorted with a hideous hairdo! Hold me!"

He held onto Jordan, who pushed him off.

"Are you sure Rusty?" Stella said.

"Stand back!" Zach said as he, Lincoln and Clyde came over. "Protect yourselves! Who knows what evil lurks behind the hallowed walls in the house of the haunted?"

Rusty screams.

"It's the house of the mad logger who chops down trees and hacks them into coffee tables!" Clyde said, causing Rusty to scream again.

"Wait!" Liam said. "Ah reckon this house is owned by the provoked opera singer who lures little boys and girls with enchanted arias!"

Lincoln covers Rusty's mouth this time. "Grow up. It's just an empty house you guys."

"Go check it out then." Chandler said. "I dare ya."

"Yeah, well, maybe some other time." Lincoln said nervously. "Zach needs me to mow his lawn."

"Mowed it this morning Lincoln." Zach said.

"I'll give you a Mondo chocolate bar if you go inside." Chandler held out a king sized candy bar. Lincoln smiled. He grabbed Zach and Clyde.

"What are you waiting for? Let's go!"

"Lincoln, don't you see through Chandler's cheap attempt to get us to go in that filthy house?" Clyde said.

Lincoln pushed them through the front lawn of dandelions. "All we have to do is stick our foot through the door and bingo, I get my chocolate bar!"

Zach sneezed, blowing all the dandelions out of their way.

"Get any on ya Zach?"

Lincoln looked through the window on the door.

"Do you see anything Lincoln?" Clyde asked.

"All I see is darkness."

Zach sneezed again, blowing them through the door and inside the house.

"I think I'm allergic to dandelions." Zach said.

"No kidding." Clyde said.

Lincoln looked around. "This house isn't haunted. It's a dump. This is nowhere near as scary as the Royal Woods House Of Terror."

Zach got up. "This looks like the house from I Was a Cotton Swab in Madame Tonnage's Earwax Museum: The Miniseries."

"Clyde, let me poke your brain!" Lincoln acted like a phantom, scaring Clyde and making him fall backwards.

"You scared Clyde, Lincoln." Zach said.

"I did, didn't I? Come on, I've got an idea."

Outside, the five kids were waiting.

"Do you think they're ok?" Girl Jordan said worried. Then they heard sounds from inside the house, which made the kids concerned.

"Whoa." Chandler said.

"Holy cow!" Rusty said before fainting.

"Those fellers are goners!" Liam said.

Inside the house, Lincoln and Zach were just making noise and banging on the walls.

"Someone help those guys!" Stella panicked.

Zach is seen through the window. It looked like someone was strangling him.

"I take back everything I said about the dorks!" Chandler said.

But Zach revealed that he was strangling himself. The kids now knew this was all an act.

"Those fakers!" Girl Jordan said peeved.

Inside the house, Lincoln and Zach laughed.

"Enough torture, let's go let them off easy and collect our chocolate bar." Lincoln said. He then noticed a spider on the doorknob. "What the-"

He flicks it off. The doorknob falls off and rolls to the hole in the floor. Lincoln, Zach and Clyde watch as it falls into the hole.

"Tell me that didn't just happen!" Clyde panicked.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said it didn't." Zach said.

"Nothing a little Lincoln magic can't fix." Lincoln said calmly as he tried to open the door but his finger gets stuck in the knob hole. "Uh oh. My finger's stuck guys!"

"Oh, good trick Lincoln." Zach said. "My turn." He speaks in a deep voice. "I am the Cotton Swab. Release the wax, ear person!"

"You're scaring me Zach." Clyde said frightened. "Let's just pull Lincoln out so we can leave!"

Clyde and Zach begin to pull on Lincoln's legs.

"Harder guys!"

Zach steps on a loose floorboard that gives way. The other end hits open a music box on a table, triggering it.

"What's that?" Lincoln said.

"It's the Phantom of the Earwax." Zach said.

Now Clyde was more frightened. "Phantom? THAT'S IT! LET ME OUT! LET ME-"

The door knob comes loose, causing Lincoln and his friends to go flying backwards. They knock down a door and ride downstairs. There screams are heard from outside. The five kids leave.

"Quit milking it, polter dorks!" Chandler yelled as he was eating the chocolate bar.

"You ain't fooling anyone!" Liam said.

Inside, the three boys were riding down the stairs screaming until they crashed into a room.

"Ooh, my aching head." Lincoln groaned.

"That was quite an experience." Clyde said. They looked in a mirror noticing the shape of their heads. "Is it me or do our heads look like yams?"

Zach was looking in a big mirror, which mad his butt look big. "Big butt, so what."

"It's a room full of mirrors." Clyde pointed out.

"Sweet." Lincoln said.

"Yams. What was I thinking?" Then Clyde noticed something by a staircase. "Is that a Super Snap-95?"

It was. There was a rope around it. Clyde went to see it but it was pulled away from him. "Hey, come back here!"

He chased it up the stairs. Lincoln was looking at himself in a mirror which made him look buff.

"Check this out boys. I'm Hercules."

Zach was looking through a mirror and then he saw a model rocket ship in a dumbwaiter. "Is that a rocket ship from Starship Troopers?"

He went on the dumbwaiter and played with the ship. The dumbwaiter took him up. Lincoln noticed his friends were gone.

"Clyde? Zach? Where the heck are they?" He saw he still had the door knob holder around his finger. He tried to take it off. "I hate you, knob holder!"

He got hit in the face with it and fell. Clyde has chased the gaming system upstairs into another room full of video games.

"Wow. Look at these old video games." Clyde said amazed. "I think I've hit the jackpot."

Downstairs, Lincoln was still trying to get the doorknob off his finger. Then he noticed the carpet moving under him, which dragged him along. "Uh, where am I going?"

He got his legs stuck under the staircase. "Help! The staircase is eating me!"

Upstairs, Clyde is looking through the room. "There are so many old games that I haven't heard of." He spots a video game case on the shelf that's put in sideways. "Man, somebody's really trying my patience."

Clyde runs off and returns with a mobile ladder. He climbs the ladder and sets the cover right. "There. Perfectly shelved."

Clyde climbs down the ladder. As he does so, a trap door opens revealing more ladder rungs.

"Now where was I?"

He continues to climb down and the trapdoor shuts above him.

Downstairs, Lincoln sees-

"Hello. An Ace Savvy comic!"

The comic is at the top of the stairs. Clyde is upstairs climbing down the ladder.

"Clyde McBride, Video Game Manager." He said to himself. "I like the timber of that."

Lincoln stretches his body up the stairs. "Lincoln Loud, Comic Book Manager. Oh yeah."

Lincoln grabs the comic, which is on a lever. "Bingo."

Lincoln pulls the lever and the bottom stair lifts him, releasing him. He goes flying forward.

"Ok, now what issue is this?" He bumps into a wall and falls headfirst into a barrel. His feet are sticking up. The barrel moves next to a trash can. A trap door opens above the can and the ladder is stuck out.

"Nobel prize winner, Clyde McBride." Clyde said climbing down. "Nice."

He falls into the trash can. He then sees Lincoln's feet sticking out of the barrel and screams. Lincoln pops up.

"What?"

Zach is seen behind them, in a container. "Guys, do you know how long I've been waiting?"

A model train is located under the containers as it blows its horns and starts to carry the boys away.

"Now what?" Lincoln said.

"Is this some kind of ride?" Clyde wondered.

"This house is just full of surprises." Zach said.

They enter a dark room.

"Creepy." Zach said.

"Enterprising." Clyde said.

They boys go on a roller coaster ride, with certain parts lit by spotlights. The boys burst through a skull. All of them are naked. (they still had their underwear though) Lincoln found a bat on his head.

"Aah! Where'd you come from?"

"Where are my clothes?! I'm naked!" Clyde cried.

"How embarrassing." Zach said.

The boys rode through a dark room filled with neon skulls.

"I think this really is a haunted house." Clyde said spooked out.

"And it's not even Halloween yet." Lincoln said.

"Impressive though." Zach said.

Then Lincoln saw someone familiar. It was a stuffed doll version of his grandma, which spooked him. "Is that Great Grandma Harriet?"

"Oh my gosh! A failed test!" Clyde was terrified by the F- test that was lowered by a fishing hook.

Then Zack saw a clown mascot. "Aah! Creepy clown-wait, I'm not scared of clowns anymore."

The boys went into another room and the ride stopped at a coffin in front of them.

"Is the ride over?" Zach wondered.

The coffin opened.

"I fear it's just begun." Clyde said.

Lucy and her friends popped out of the coffin.

"Welcome to our haunted house." Lucy said.

"Lucy?" Lincoln said surprised. "You and your friends planned this?"

"Yep. You see, you found this abandoned house and we've always wanted to make our own haunted house so that's what we did. And you guys were our first tourists."

"But it's not quite ready yet." Haiku said.

"I see." Lincoln said.

"When we see guys come in here, we decided to lure you with things you like." Lucy explained.

"Ok, but why'd you take our clothes?" Zach asked.

"Because public nudity is one of the worst fears." Said one of the goths.

"And it's embarrassing." Clyde said.

"We wanna keep this haunted house scheme for a while." Lucy said. "Can you guys not tell anyone else the truth?"

The boys thought about it.

"Sure, why not?" Lincoln said.

"Yeah, you sure spooked us out." Zach said.

"Also, can someone get this stupid knob holder off my finger?" Lincoln said, annoyed with the knob holder still stuck to him.

* * *

The next day, Mr. Grouse is seen walking near the abandoned house. He sees a sign that says "Beware Of Haunted House."

"Haunted house?" He said with disbelief. "Please. There's no such thing."

Then he saw someone come out of the house. It was a phantom, along with other phantoms. They appeared in front of Mr. Grouse.

"No such thing, huh?"

Mr. Grouse looked wide eyed. He shrieked like a little girl and ran off. The hooded phantoms revealed themselves to be Lucy and her friends. Lucy smiled smugly.


	24. Chapter 24: Loud in a Halfshell

**Here's a parody of the episode: Ed in a Halfshell**

* * *

It was the weekend. Lincoln and Leni decided to hang out with Lola in her room, and have a tea party. But Lincoln was starting to regret it.

"This is so embarrassing." He muttered. He's seen in a bunny outfit. "Do I really have to wear this Lola?"

"Yes, you're my bunny butler."

"Besides, you look so cute Lincoln." Leni complimented.

"Now do the bunny hop." Lola ordered.

"No." Lincoln refused.

"Do it or no dessert for you." Lola said as she took away his plate of cookies. Lincoln hesitated, but he did it. As he did, Lola took had her phone out.

"Hey, don't take pictures!" Lincoln said.

"Don't worry, I'm not taking pictures." Lola said. "I'm making a video!"

Lincoln groaned. Then Lisa, who was wearing a lab coat, and Darcy entered the room and saw Lincoln hopping around.

"Why is Lincoln hopping around in a bunny suit?" Darcy questioned.

"I'm guessing Lola had something to do with this." Lisa said. Lincoln noticed them and stopped hopping.

"Hey Lisa." Leni greeted. "You wanna join the tea party?"

"Not me." Lisa replied. "I have a science convention to attend to and Darcy needs someone to play with. Will you guys be willing to let Darcy join you?"

"Hmm...I'm not sure." Lola said.

"Of course Darcy can join us!" Leni said.

"Wow, your sister does have a lot of stuffed animals." Darcy said.

"Yes, I'm certain you guys will get along swimmingly." Lisa said. "But if these guys give you any trouble, use this remote. It summons my robot clone to punish any of my siblings."

Lisa handed Darcy a remote with a red button on it.

"Goodbye specimens." Lisa left the room.

Darcy stares at the others. "So...do you guys like giraffes?" She held out her stuffed giraffe.

"Kid, you're gonna cramp my style." Lola said.

"I bet Darcy would like to play some games." Lincoln said.

"Games?" Darcy said excitedly.

"There we go. What kid doesn't like to play games?"

"I know a game we can play." Lola said as she smiled sinisterly.

* * *

"Lola, wait, stop!"

Lincoln, Leni, Darcy, and Lola were outside as three of the kids were standing in front of the garage. Lola had a dodgeball in her hand.

"Dodgeball has no educational value whatsoever." Lincoln said shaking in fear.

"What are you talking about? It builds character." Lola said. "And it's fun."

"I agree." Leni said. "Just keep your eye on the-" Leni gets hit with the ball. "-ball of pain.."

"You're out Leni." Lola said as she got the ball back. "Who's next? Darcy or Lincoln?"

Darcy and Lincoln were both shaking in fear. Darcy got away.

"I guess it's Lincoln."

"Lola, no! I have a history with this game! What's that? I see flashes Lola! Deep rooted images! It's the game of torture! I'm already in pain just thinking about it! Oh, I'm reliving it Lola!"

Lola had drawn Lincoln's face on the ball. "But it's got your face on it Lincoln."

"Lola, listen to me Lola!"

Lola gets ready to throw the ball at him.

"It's gym class all over again!!" Lincoln cried and screamed. He cowered on the ground shaking. Lola rolled her eyes.

"Get over it Shakespeare."

"I'm bored." Darcy said. "I want a turn."

"No way, it's still my turn."

"I'm calling Robo Lisa!" Darcy took out the remote and was about to press the button.

"Wait Darcy, Robo Lisa bad!" Leni pounced on Lola. "Don't hog the ball Lola! Let Darcy have a turn!"

"Yay!" Darcy said.

Leni picked up Lola and rubbed her against her hair. Then she stuck Lola to the garage with static electricity. Lola couldn't move.

"Static electricity can be quite humbling, can't it Lola?" Lincoln said. He looked back at Leni and Darcy. "Oh Leni, that's much too far for Darcy. A little closer if you will."

"Ok Lincoln." Leni shoves Darcy closer to Lola. "Go on Darcy. It's your turn to hurt Lola."

"Oh no, this girl's gonna murder me! Someone please save me!" Lola mocked. "Yeah right!"

Lola burst out laughing but Darcy threw the ball hard enough to knock Lola through the garage.

"Yay! I did it!" Darcy cheered.

"Go shot Darcy!" Leni picked Darcy up and carried her on her shoulders. She ran off with her.

"I'm the toast of the town!" Darcy said.

Lincoln watched them. "Aw, look at them Lola."

Lola got up. "It's pathetic."

Leni tripped over a rock, but she and Darcy laughed anyway.

"Darcy and Leni seemed to have developed a sisterly bond." Lincoln said as he pulled Lola out of the hole in the garage.

"Socks with sandals are the worst." Darcy said.

"I know. Eww!" Leni said.

"Totes eww!"

"Interesting." Lincoln commented.

"Why's Darcy acting like Leni?" Lola asked.

"Well Lola, like siblings, the younger more naive sibling tends to mimic and learn from the older sibling. A mirror image in some cases."

"Mirror image? One exactly like the other? Like two ice cream scoops on a cone? Two arms and legs on a body? A dynamic duel? A pair of underwear?"

"A pair of underwears' one item Lola."

"Same thing. I, Lola, will teach Darcy to be the best there is. Just like me."

* * *

A montage begins. First, Lola walks around a mud puddle and instructs Darcy to do the same. But Darcy leaps in the mud puddle instead. Lola spanks her with a stick. Next, Lola instructs Darcy to push a heavy box onto a mat. Darcy tried to push it but fails to do so. Lola facepalms and gives Darcy another spanking. Then Darcy tries to push the box again and gets an idea. She gets Lynn and forces her to carry the box over to the mat for her. Back at the mud muddle, Darcy doesn't jump in it. Instead, she kicks mud onto Lincoln and Leni, much to their surprise. Lola and Darcy laugh at this. Then Darcy pulls the "you've got something on your shirt" trick on Lola, and this earns her one final spanking.

* * *

Darcy was sitting on the front porch as Lola paces back and forth.

"Enough beating around the bush Darcy. I think you're ready for the final lesson. Let's discuss beauty pageants."

"Theatrics don't forge good learning skills." Lincoln said, discreetly to Leni.

"Hey, do you mind, Mr. 'I know everything about nothing'?"

Leni shushed Lincoln.

"Where was I? Oh yeah, beauty pageants." Lola showed Darcy a picture of her at a beauty pageant. "Always remember, if you enter a lot of beauty pageants you get to spend a lot of time with me."

"But how do I prepare for a beauty pageant, Aunt Lola?"

Lola sighed proudly. "You're such a nosy little tyke. Come with Aunt Lola."

Lola dragged Darcy off with her.

"Hurry Leni!" Lincoln said alarmed.

"Shush. My yeast is rising."

Lincoln stares at Leni for a few seconds, unsure what to do. "Nut loaf, Leni?"

* * *

Lola takes Darcy to another part of the neighborhood and people are seen hanging out.

"See all these people Darcy?"

"Yes Aunt Lola."

"Since this is your first time in the pageant biz, I'll start you off with a small audience. Audiences pay attention to performers. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Darcy and Lola smiled at each other. Darcy walked off.

"I'm gonna be the center of attention Aunt Lola!"

Lola wiped a tear from her eye. "They grow up so fast."

Then Lincoln and Leni caught up to Lola.

"Lola, shame on you!" Lincoln scolded. "You set Darcy's-"

"Shush!" Leni said, as her yeast was still rising.

"You set Darcy's expectations too high. She's bound to fail."

"Ok, so maybe I was a little tough." Lola admitted. "But that's how Lori taught me. The only way to get it right is to get it wrong."

The siblings see Darcy performing. She's wearing a dress and tiara, walking on a balance beam and doing tricks like spinning two batons. The crowd is impressed. Then she hands out candy and the crowd takes them.

"Now that's what I call a performance!" One woman said.

Darcy was now juggling while walking on the balance beam.

"A performance like this deserves some cash." One boy said.

Darcy held out a jar and people put money inside of it. Lola was astounded.

"How come I didn't think of that?" Lola said.

"Seems the student has surpassed the master." Lincoln noted.

"But better." Leni added.

Darcy was done performing and the people left.

"Goodbye, you've all been a great audience."

Lola came over to her. "You're a chip off the old block kid!"

"Well done Darcy." Lincoln complimented. "Where did you learn those neat tricks?"

"I watch a lot of parade acts on tv." Darcy said.

"Interesting. I would've never thought of that."

"Of course you wouldn't."

Lincoln felt insulted. "...Well."

"Hey kid, it's time to give credit where credit is due." Lola said to Darcy. "Nothing big. Sixty percent will do."

"What are you talking about?"

"My cut of the cash."

"Hit the road." Darcy walked off with the jar of money.

"Why you thankless little-if it wasn't for me, you'd be planting daisies!"

"Tell it to the judge."

"Oh, she's good." Lola said surprised. She ran after Darcy. "Gimme that thing you little runt!"

Lola took the jar from Darcy and tossed her aside. She looked at the money. "Hello my babies. Did you miss me?"

Darcy was now angry. She pounced on Lola. "It's mine!"

Lola was frightened by Darcy's ferocious behavior. "Aah! Darcy's lost it! Help me! She's a wild animal!"

"Break it up you guys!" Leni ordered. "Oh wait, I know what to do."

Leni took out the remote that was used to summon Robo Lisa. Lincoln realized what Leni was about to do.

"Leni, don't press that button!"

Too late. Leni presses it. Then they hear trees being knocked down. Robo Lisa bursted through a fence, with a built in jetpack.

"Trouble detected! Trouble detected!" Robo Lisa said.

"Bingo." Darcy said smugly. She digs some dirt and rubs it on her face. She then pretends to cry.

"Trouble detected! Trouble detected!"

"Get lost Robo dork!" Lola said. "We're talking business here."

"Oh Robo Lisa, it was terrible!" Darcy whined. "They made me eat dirt all day!"

Robot Lisa glared at the three Loud siblings. "Threats targeted!"

"Oh, she's real good." Lola said in an undertone, as she was more surprised. She backed away next to Leni and Lincoln. "Uh...who are you gonna believe? That little rat or an honest bunch like us?"

Robot Lisa glared with eyes glowing red. She attacked the Loud siblings, shooting lasers at them. Darcy couldn't help but giggle at them. The three Louds were now blackened as the laid in a pile.

"My jar please, Aunt Lola." Darcy took the jar back but the money was gone. "Hey!"

Darcy pokes Lola's nose and Lola spits all the coins out. Darcy collects them all.

"Oh boy! Robo Lisa, can you take me shopping? I wanna buy some candy for me and Lisa."

"Following Darcy's request." Robo Lisa said and carried Darcy off with her jetpack.

"Boy Lola, you truly created a monster." Lincoln said as he was in pain.

"No kidding. Kinda makes me feel all warm inside."

Leni looked at her burnt skin. "This is like the worst tan ever."


	25. Chapter 25: Little Loud Blue

**Here's a parody based on the episode: Little Ed Blue**

* * *

It was Friday. The Loud sisters were in the living room, trying to figure out what movie they were gonna watch this evening.

"Guys, we should literally watch Lawfully Blonde!" Lori suggested, showing the dvd.

"Oh, I love that movie!" Leni said.

"No way! We should watch something with action!" Lynn suggested, showing her dvd. "Like a Wacky Chan movie."

"I say we watch Cutie and the Beast!" Lola suggested, holding her dvd.

"I prefer something sci-fi related." Lisa said, holding her dvd.

"No, a horror movie." Lucy said, holding her dvd.

"Forget that. Let's watch the Vehicles movie." Lana said, showing her dvd.

"Comedy is pure gold." Luan said, showing her dvd.

"Dudes, musical movies are the best." Luna said, showing her dvd.

The sisters all started fighting over what to watch. Then someone came downstairs. It was Lincoln, and he had a bitter look on his face. The sisters stopped fighting and noticed him.

"Lincoln, is something wrong?" Leni asked.

"Well, look who finally decided to join us." Lori said rudely.

Then Lincoln pushed all his sisters away from the living room as they complained.

"Hey! What's the matter with you?!" Lori said. "Stop pushing us!"

"You guys are being too loud and I want you outta here!" Lincoln said.

"You can't tell us to leave!" Lola yelled, getting in his face. "We live here too!"

"SO MOVE!" Lincoln yelled back. Lola was surprised at Lincoln's outburst, and so were the other sisters.

"Uh...ok." Lola said nervously and backed away.

"You know what, I'll leave instead." Lincoln walked out the front door and left, leaving his sisters confused.

"Well, that was awkward." Luan said.

"Yeah, what's Lincoln's deal?" Lana said.

"It appears a dark cloud is hanging over Lincoln's head, guys." Lisa explained. "Our brother is a mere shell of the awkward, reliable white haired geek we know and love."

"We should go cheer him up." Leni said.

"Ah, the guy's a big baby." Lynn said.

"Yeah, he's probably just got gas." Lori said.

"I know someone else who has gas." Luan muttered to Luna.

"What was that?" Lori said.

"Nothing." Luan said.

"Dudes, let's just go find Lincoln." Luna said.

The sisters go out after their brother.

* * *

Lincoln is seen sitting on a stump at the park and his sisters arrive there.

"Lincoln, is there anything we can do to make you feel better?" Leni asked.

"Hey guys, is that a white haired beaver on a log?" Lynn teases.

"Yeah, I bet his buck teeth are big enough to chew through it." Lori teased.

"Shut up!" Lincoln yelled.

"You shut up!" Lori yelled back.

"Dudes, quit it! Our bro's having a bad day!" Luna scolded.

"Lincoln's a wuss." Lynn said. She went up to him. "Hey lame-o, I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get over yourself!"

She tugged on his shirt and held up a fist. "One! Smile you miserable-Two! Snap out of it ya-"

Lincoln grabbed her arm and flipped her onto her back.

"Ow…" Lynn groaned.

Leni went over to Lincoln and sat next to him. "Hey Linky."

Lincoln doesn't respond.

"Do you know what I like when I'm feeling crabby?" She hugs him. "A big hug to squeeze those cares away."

Lincoln looks uneased. He pushes Leni away. "Touch me again and I'll turn you into a human pretzel!"

Leni looked upset.

"Wow, that's literally my reaction when people use my phone without permission." Lori said.

"Lincoln, if you care to share your feelings with me, I'll be right here for you dear brother."

Luna goes next to Lincoln too.

Leni notices Lincoln scraping the bark off the stump with his bare fingers. He gives Leni a doomy glare. Leni walks off, a bit scared.

"Well, let's leave Lincoln to gather his thoughts guys."

"A little self-introspection may do him a world of good." Lisa agreed.

The sisters start to leave the park.

"So what are you gonna do now Leni? Knit him a sweater?" Lori said sarcastically.

"Oh, that's a great idea Lori." Leni said.

With the sisters gone, a grumpy Lincoln was left alone at the park.

* * *

The sisters were back at home, looking for stuff to cheer up their brother. Lana, Lola, Lucy, and Luan gathered belongings from Lincoln's room.

"Ok, I think we've got enough things." Lana said.

"Even his dirty Ace Savvy undie." Lola mentioned.

They walked out with Lana and Luan carrying the box. The rest of the sisters were in the hallway.

"I've got my guitar." Luna said.

"Me and Lori made a sweater for Lincoln." Leni said.

Lynn was eating a meatball sub.

"Lynn, this is no time for meatball subs." Lucy said.

"I was hungry." Lynn said. "And I'll save a meatball for Lincoln or whatever."

"Well, in case none of this stuff works, I concocted this potion that might calm Lincoln's nerves." Lisa said as she showed her potion.

"Sounds promising." Lori said.

"Guys, check this out!" Luan held up one of Lincoln's comics. "Lincoln has a comic called "Picking Up Chicks".

"Oooooooh!" The girls gathered around Luan as she looked inside the book. Instead, they saw a page filled with actual baby chicks. The girls excitement went away.

"I didn't even know Lincoln was into those kinds of comics." Lisa said.

* * *

The sisters return to the park. They see one of the kids from Lincoln's school, Chandler, shooting spitballs at Lincoln. Lincoln just looks irritated.

"Hey, stop picking on our brother!" Lana yelled.

"But he's so easy to pick on." Chandler said. Then Lincoln walked up to Chandler and punched him right in the eye. Chandler was scared by Lincoln's act of violence and ran away. Lincoln went back to sit on the stump.

"He's still not happy yet?" Lynn said.

"Not even a smirk." Luna said.

Lola and Lana went up to Lincoln.

"Hey Linky, I got you an Ace Savvy comic." Lola said.

"And you can read it in your Ace Savvy underwear." Lana said. They handed the stuff over to Lincoln. Lincoln hesitated, but then he put the underwear over Lola's face. Lola freaked out and ran away.

Lana laughed at this. "Now that's what I call overwear!"

But then Lincoln threw the comic at her. Lana walked back to her sisters.

"Ok, your turn Luan."

Luan brought Lincoln a pie with a candle on it. Luan put on a party hat and put one of Lincoln. Then she began to sing.

"Oh, for he's a jolly good brother, for he's a jolly good brother, for he's a-"

Lincoln tossed the pie right in Luan's face. Luan came back to her sisters, eating the pie since she didn't want it to go to waste.

"Your turn Luna."

And so the other sisters tried to cheer up their brother. Luna sang a song on her acoustic guitar, which made Lincoln break the guitar. Leni and Lori presented their sweater to him, but he found it uncomfortable so he threw it in the mud. Lynn offered Lincoln a meatball, but he didn't accept it. She shrugged and ate it. Lucy brings a ghost hunters vacuum from the tv show A.R.R.G.H and shows it to Lincoln, but bats fly out of it, spooking him out. Lucy smiles sheepishly as she had just remembered her bats were napping in there. Now Luan and Lynn were putting on a puppet show for Lincoln, with the others sisters watching too. Lynn was holding a monster toy and Luan had a robot.

"Hey Mr. Monster, our moody friend here sure could use a good chuckle." Luan said as she acted as the robot. She told a joke. "Say, why was the robot mad? People kept pushing his buttons!" She laughed. "Get it?"

"I hate puppet shows." Lynn said and dropped the toy monster.

"You're not even trying. You pick that up!"

Lincoln pressed a button on the robot Luan was holding and a laser beam shot out of it, burning the puppet show and the top of Lynn and Luan's hairs. The sisters were shocked.

"Nice toy." Lynn commented.

"Uh Lisa, how about you use that potion now?" Luan said uneasily, after she dropped Lincoln's robot.

"Now would be the appropriate time." Lisa agreed. Lisa used a eye dropper and poured some potion drops onto Lincoln, who growled at her. "This is for your own good, male sibling."

Lisa backed away and the sisters waited for the effect to happen, but Lincoln still remained grumpy.

"Hmm...this might not be the right potion." Lisa said.

"What?! Now what do we do?" Lola yelled.

Leni searches through the box and found something. "Guys, I found Lincoln's Bun Bun costume. It looks almost like the right size for Lynn. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

The sisters looked at Lynn and smiled in a hopeful manner. Lynn immediately knew what they wanted.

"No! No way! Forget it! I ain't doing it!"

"But Lynn, look at him!" Leni begged, pointing at Lincoln.

"If Lincoln doesn't cheer up soon he could become a perpetual mope." Lisa said.

"Do you realize how miserable our lives would be?" Lori said.

Lynn hesitated. She reluctantly decided to put on the Bun Bun suit but was still frowning. She started doing a bunny hop.

"Hop hop hop. Look at me, I'm a bunny." Lynn said in a grumpy tone. "Hop hop hop. You love bunnies, bunnies make you happy. Hop hop hop. How about a nice juicy carrot?"

Lincoln went up to Lynn, stepped on her foot, shoved the bunny ears in her mouth, and pushed her down.

"You forget to shake your cottontail Lynn." Leni said.

Lynn lost her patience with Lincoln. "That's it!"

She tore off the costume and went over to Lincoln. "I've had it up to here with your bad mood! Crack a smile! Bust a gut! Be happy!" She slapped him in the back of the head. "Get over it!"

This made Lincoln reach his breaking point. He growled in anger as his skin turned green. Then he started to become muscular.

"Uh, what's happening?" Luna questioned.

"Uh oh! I gave Lincoln the wrong potion!" Lisa explained. "This is my rage inducing potion!"

"Why would you even have a potion like that?" Lori asked.

"It was part of an assignment at the science lab!"

Lincoln grew into a Hulk like creature. He yelled very loudly. "BIG TROUBLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He yelled so loud that he made Leni faint and Lori's clothes to rip off, leaving her in her bra and underwear. The other sisters looked frightened. He then went on a rampage through the park. Smashing playground equipment and throwing them in the air. One kid ran away in fear. The sisters panicked and hid. Lynn dragged Leni with her. Broken pieces of equipment fall down.

"I want to be alone!" Lincoln demanded.

As the sisters were hiding, Lucy got an idea. "I think I know what to do. It's weird, but I'll do it."

Lucy ran over to Lincoln.

"Oh, this oughta be good." Lynn said sarcastically.

She pulled on his shoe as Lincoln was struggling against her. She managed to pull it off and a pebble fell out. Lincoln wiggled his toes and noticed that the soreness in his foot was gone. He smiled and shrunk back to his normal size. His skin turned back to its normal color.

"Ah, I feel better now." Lincoln said happily.

"You're welcome." Lucy said.

Then the sisters came over and Lori picked up the pebble. "A pebble? Your bad mood was all because you had a pebble in your shoe?"

The sisters stared in disbelief.

"Well, I didn't know." Lincoln admitted.

Then Lynn falls to the ground in a fit of crazy laughter.

"Looks like someone had a good day, huh guys?" Lincoln said as Lynn laughed harder.


	26. Chapter 26: Button Yer Loud

**Here's a parody of the episode: Button Yer Ed**

* * *

Lola and Lana rush inside as Lana is covered in mud and chasing Lola.

"Eww! Get away from me Lana!" Lola cried.

"Not until the mud monster gets you!" Lana ran after Lola, tracking mud on the floor. Lincoln walked downstairs and noticed the mud prints.

"Lana, what have Mom and Dad told you about tracking mud indoors? Only do it outdoors!" Lana and Lola paused. Lana noticed the mud on the floor.

"Whoops. My bad."

Then Lincoln noticed the opened front door. "And you left the door open! Do you realize you've opened a door for all winged insects to invade our home?"

"You just had to get him started, didn't you Lana?" Lola said in a dull tone.

"The annoying buzzing and their insatiable bite is enough to make your skin crawl." Lincoln closed the door but then heard buzzing. "Do you hear it?"

Lincoln dashed to the kitchen and got a flyswatter from the drawer. He came back. "Ok, we're safe! Stand back everyone! I've got it under control!"

"It's on Lana!" Lola pointed.

"Really? Where?"

Lola slapped Lana in the face. She slapped Lincoln as she tried to catch the insect. "Bingo! This guy's quick!"

Lola took the flyswatter. "I got it! I got it!"

Lana tried to get the fly. "Come here, buzzing creature with wings! I won't hurt you!"

Lola hit Lana again as she tried to get the fly. "I see it! Hey, stay still so I can hurt you! Look out! It's too fast!" She knocked Lincoln over. "I got it! I see it! I got it! I see it! I go-"

Suddenly, the fly went into Lola's open mouth. Lola dropped the swatter and tried to cough the fly out.

"Lola, what's wrong?" Lana said concerned. "Say something!"

Lola tried to speak but couldn't.

"I think the fly lodged itself into Lola's voice box, disabling her ability to talk." Lincoln explained.

Lana ripped off a piece of hair from Lola, making her cry in pain. "Lola can't talk."

"I have a temporary solution." Lincoln said. He got a bell collar from a drawer and put it around Lola's neck. "Just ring this bell when you need to communicate."

Lola rang the bell.

"She's got something to say." Lana said.

"What is it Lola?" Lincoln asked.

"You have to go pee?" Lana guessed. Lola shook her head.

"The latest Ace Savvy comic is out?" Lincoln guessed. Lola shook her head.

"Mud pies?" Lana guessed. Lola rang the bell again as she look frustrated. Then Lola opened her mouth and a mooing sound was heard. She covered her mouth. The three siblings looked outside and saw Liam walking by with his cow.

"Hey Liam!" Lincoln greeted.

"Howdy Lincoln!" Liam greeted. He then noticed the bell Lola was wearing. "Why is your sister wearing a bell like cow? Is this some kind of punishment?"

"No, she lost her voice."

"And she communicates by ringing the bell." Lana added.

Lola rang the bell again.

"Lola's talking."

"What is it Lola?" Lincoln asked.

"Lola wants to wear Christmas decorations for her upcoming pageant." Lana said. Lola gave Lana a confused look. She rang the bell again.

"You want to play some video games?" Lincoln guessed.

"Lola's hungry." Liam said.

"Lola's hungry?"

"Yes, do you not hear it? It's obvious she wants food. Come. You fellers are invited to my place for a feast and merriment."

* * *

The three Loud siblings were inside Liam's house, having lunch with him. They were seated at a table full of meat.

"And so my cousin taught me how to read bells." Liam said. "But enough about me, let's stuff our faces."

Lincoln and Lana had a plate full of drumsticks and started eating.

"Man, I've had so much meat before." Lana said as she had her mouth full.

"Go ahead and dig in, Lola." Liam said. Lola had a big sausage in front of her, which seemed to be moving. She was about to touch it but it exploded. Lola rang the bell.

"What's Lola saying Liam?" Lincoln asked.

Liam tried to figure it out as Lola pointed to her open mouth and made a face.

"It seems Lola would like one of us to feed her." Liam said. Lola frowned.

"Oh, I'll do it!" Lana said and went over to Lola. She tried to feed her a spoonful of sausage. "Eat your smelly sausage Lola."

Lola refused. Lana shoves the sausage into her mouth and rubbed her cheeks. "Chew it all up or no more meat for you."

Lola shoved her away and rang the bell.

"Translation Liam?" Lincoln said.

"Lola wants to work off the sausage with an outdoor activity."

* * *

Lola was tossed into Liam's mud pit and Lana jumped in after her. Lana wrestled with Lola as both of them had on swimsuits. Lincoln and Liam were watching.

"Mud wrestling huh?" Lincoln said. "I always thought Lola hated that."

"Ah wise choice, Lola." Liam commented. "This is a favorite tradition in mah family, next to bull riding."

Lana did a few moves on Lola as Lola tried to get away. Lola looked unhappy and rang the bell.

* * *

Now the gang was on top of a hill as Lola was inside a tire. Lana was about to push her down the hill.

"Lola sure has gained confidence since she lost her voice." Lincoln said.

"The Tire Ride of Doom is a very brave request for a six year old." Liam said. Lola looked scared and cried for mercy, though no one could hear her. Lana and Lincoln pushed her and Lola went rolling down the hill in high speed. She rode past more hills until she landed somewhere as a crashing sound was heard.

"Now what Liam?" Lana asked.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, poor Lola was sitting on the couch all bruised and injured. Lincoln, Lana, and Liam came inside.

"There you are Lola." Lincoln said.

"Lola says she wants to relax with a nice warm bath." Liam said.

"I'm on it!" Lana said. She dragged Lola upstairs as Lola tried to escape. "Come on Lola."

In the bathroom, Lana set up the tub with water. "Enjoy your bath sis." Lana left.

Lola was about to leave but slipped on a soap bar and fell in the tub. She screamed in pain as the water was too hot for her skin. In the living room, Lana, Lincoln, and Liam were seated on the couch.

"It sure was nice to help out Lola." Lincoln said. "I wonder how she's doing."

"I bet she's fine." Lana said.

* * *

Lola snuck outside through the kitchen door. She was trying to get away but Lincoln, Lana, and Liam were already outside as Lola's bell rang.

"Liam, Lola wants something!" Lincoln said. Lola ran the other way and bumped into Liam.

"What is it Lola? Lola!"

Lola ran to a fence and was surrounded by the other three. Lola decided to play out what she wanted, making typing sounds and making a square shape.

"What is it Liam?" Lincoln asked. Liam got out a piece of paper.

"She wants paper." Liam handed her the paper. Lola smiled.

"Just as I thought." Lincoln said.

Lola wanted something to write with. Liam gave her corn. "Oh, here you go."

Lola tried to write on the paper only to realize she was using an ear of corn. She threw it away and angrily made more gestures to her siblings. She kicked a rock in anger, only to feel pain on her foot as she held it, hopping around. She slipped on the corn and flipped backwards onto the ground. Liam figured out what Lola wanted.

"Lola would like to conquer her greatest fear."

Lola looked worried.

* * *

Back at Liam's farm, Lola was in a wooden ring as the siblings watched.

"Man, Lola is so lucky." Lana said.

"Lola is prepared to ride the beast." Liam said. A animal is heard behind the wooden gate, banging on it. Lola is scared. Liam tried to control it. "Easy boy, easy."

He opens the door. "Behold."

Lola looks to see a small pig, which made her laugh.

"Don't cry Lola. It's time to face your fear!"

Lola taunted the pig before she got on it.

"Careful Lola, don't taunt the porky." Liam warned.

Lola continues to taunt it, causing the pig run around in a circle, trying to get Lola off. Lola hung on tight.

"Go Lola!" Lincoln cheered.

"You've got this!" Lana cheered.

The pig shoved Lola against the ring as Lola was still hanging on. The pig continued to hit Lola onto different sides off the ring before it finally launched Lola off. Lola landed in a haystack. The pig ran out of the ring and Liam chased after it.

"Uh oh! He's on the loose again!"

Lola got out of the haystack. She had enough of the bell and tore it off.

"Liam's not here but I think I know what you-" Lana was hit with the bell and fell down. Lola escaped.

"Lola?" Lincoln helped Lana up. "Come on sis, we need to help Lola!"

* * *

Lincoln and Lana went to look for their sister. They were back in their neighborhood.

"Hmm...she must've went back home." Lincoln said.

"Let's go see." Lana said and they walked off. After they left, Lola popped out from a tree. She laughed at her siblings since they didn't notice her. She tried to get down but her dress got caught in the tree.

"What's with this dress?" Lola said, and realized she had her voice back. "Hey, I can talk! Guys, I can talk! Guys, come back here! Get me down!"

Lincoln and Lana were back at home, relaxing on the porch.

"The brain is an amazing organ, Lana." Lincoln said. "It's actually fooling me into thinking Lana is calling out for us."

"I wanted to ride a pig." Lana pouted.

Lola was still trying to get down from the tree. "Liam! Somebody give me a hand already!"


	27. Chapter 27: Avast Ye Louds

**And now here's a parody of the episode: Avast Ye Eds**

* * *

Lincoln and his friends were down by a river in the forest. They had gotten an inner tube which they were using to stay afloat in the river.

"This thrill ride isn't so thrilling." Zach said as they were going at a slow pace.

"Yeah, who's idea was this?" Rusty questioned.

"It was yours Rusty." Lincoln said.

"Oh, right."

"I like the steady pace." Clyde said. "I'd get seasick if I went too fast."

"Well, Ah reckon there must be some other way we can make this ride more exciting." Liam said.

Then Lincoln noticed something. "Guys look! I think that's a motor boat over there! Let's go check it out!"

The five boys went on land to get a closer look.

"It is a motor boat." Lincoln confirmed.

"Looks like it was abandoned." Liam said.

"And it's dirty." Clyde pointed out as he noticed the stains.

"Then we'll clean it up." Lincoln said. "We can make this our new ride. A motor boat cruise. It'll be like we're on a real cruise ship."

"Well, forget my lame idea." Rusty said. "I'm totally in!"

"Count me in too!" Zach said.

"Me three." Liam said. "Sounds like it'll be one heck of an adventure."

"Well, it does sound fun, so I'm coming too." Clyde stated.

"Then it's settled." Lincoln said. "Let's get prepared for the cruise."

The boys cheered.

"You're the man with the plan Lincoln." Zach commented.

* * *

Soon, the boys were ready for their river cruise. They had tested the motor and luckily, it worked. They had made their own sail which was consisted with a pole, hockey stick, a blanket sheet. Lincoln, Clyde, and Zach were in the boat which was by the bridge. Lincoln was wearing a captain's hat and sunglasses, standing at the front of the boat and Clyde and Zach were looking through the cooler. They were waiting for Rusty and Liam, who had gone off to pee somewhere. The two boys returned.

"Finally!" Zach said. "Let's get a move on!"

Rusty looked at the bridge. "Are you sure this bridge is safe?"

"It's totally safe." Lincoln stated.

The two boys walked on the bridge, but then they fell through it into the water.

"Oh, I meant it was safe for one person at a time. Sorry."

Lincoln and Clyde helped the two boys onto the boat.

"Welcome aboard the cruise, gentlemen. You both looked like drowned rats. Here's a complimentary towel." Lincoln hands Rusty a towel. "Don't lose it. It's the only one we've got."

"I've never been on a actual cruise before." Liam said.

"I have." Rusty said. "There were a bunch of cute ladies onboard."

Clyde blew on a bottle, creating a loud conch shell effect. "We're set for launch, Captain Lincoln."

"Everybody comfy? Let's set sail! Zach, start the engine."

Zach started the motor engine and the boat went off. The boys cheered.

"Hey sailor, I'm starved." Rusty said, referring to Clyde. "What have you got in the treasure chest?"

Clyde looked in the "treasure chest", which was really the cooler. "I'm got complimentary scones that are really good and they help prevent scurvy."

Everyone took a scone.

"Anything to prevent the scurvy." Zach said.

"Land ho!" Lincoln yelled.

"Huh? Where Lincoln?" Liam asked.

"Land over there." Lincoln pointed to his right. "And land over there." He pointed to his left.

Lincoln and the others chuckled while Liam looked confused. "It's a joke Liam, lighten up."

Meanwhile, the two bullies Hank and Hawk, were taking a walk through the forest.

"Dude, all this nature walking is making my feet sore." Hank complained.

"Dude, all your complaining is making me want to complain." Hawk replied. Then they heard Lincoln's voice. "Dude, you hear that? I recognize that voice."

The bullies walk over and spot the five fifth graders cruising in their boat.

"Torque up the tommy-hose!" Lincoln yelled.

"It's that white haired dork and those other dorks!" Hawk said.

"Hey, isn't that the boat we found yesterday?" Hank noticed.

"Yeah man. Those dorks stole it when we were going to steal it! They're gonna pay!"

"But how do we catch them?"

Hawk thought, and noticed a cabin nearby. He saw some stuff inside and got an idea. Back with Lincoln and his friends, the boys were sailing further away.

"Tote that yard sprinkler!" Lincoln yelled. "Batten down the poop deck!"

* * *

Zach was sitting on top of the boat, looking through a telescope. Lincoln's voice was heard in a speaker which was on the mask. Not very clear though.

"Is this thing on?"

"Yes Lincoln, just speak into the mic." Clyde said.

"What, this?"

"Yes!"

"Ok, ok." Lincoln's voice was heard clearly now. "Welcome passengers, I'm Captain Lincoln, the captain of this cruise, where you pay ten bucks for riding."

"What?!" Rusty and Liam exclaimed.

"Just kidding, it's totally free. I'd like you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 Fingers McBride!"

Liam and Rusty clapped for Clyde.

"This instrument is so annoying." Clyde groaned. Clyde began to play the pedal steel guitar, and he was really good at it. The other boys were speechless as their jaws dropped in astonishment. Clyde could also play the instrument with his feet and without even looking as he took out a book and read.

* * *

Liam is lying in the boat. "This cruise has been great and all, but it's lacking adventure."

"Captain Lincoln, we've run out of refreshments." Rusty said.

"I'm on a break, Rusty. Do you mind?"

Then Liam noticed something. "Captain Lincoln, look!"

"What is it Zach?"

Zach looked through the telescope and saw the jock bullies on a raft, coming closer to them. "Uh oh! We've got company Lincoln!"

"What is it? Let me see!" Zach threw the telescope at Lincoln. Lincoln picked it up and looked. He saw the bullies close up on their raft. They had on pirate gear.

"Hey chumps!"

"Pirates!" Lincoln yelled.

"Pirates?" Rusty and Clyde said in unison, as they both got nervous.

"Pirates?" Liam said excitedly.

Rusty clung onto Liam. "Pirates like to roughhouse! I'm scared!"

"Do they?"

"What do you guys want?" Lincoln asked the jocks.

"We want that motorboat!" Hawk yelled. "We were gonna steal it for ourselves!"

"Well, it's our boat now, right guys?" Lincoln's friends, except Liam, looked intimidated.

"So you want to do this the hard way huh?" Hawk glared. "Hank, fire the cannonballs!"

Hank took out a bag of "cannonballs", which were really sport balls. He threw them over to the fifth graders as they dodged them. Rusty got hit.

"Clyde, can you make the engine sped up?" Lincoln said.

Clyde goes up to the engine. He sets it to a faster mode and the boat speeds off.

"Our treasure's getting away!" Hank yelled.

"Not for long." Hawk goes over to a weed whacker attached to the back of the raft. He starts it and lowers it in the water, making the raft sped up.

"Cool! We're being chased by pirates!" Liam said excited.

"Somebody get me off this merry go round called life!" Rusty panicked.

Clyde's face turns green. "I'm getting sick over!"

At the raft, the two bullies set up their sail with has a skull on it. They get closer to the five boys.

"When we get to shore, we'll get off and run like cowards." Lincoln assured.

"Um, Lincoln?" Zach noticed the jocks getting up close.

"Thank me later Zach."

Then Lincoln noticed. The jocks sped their raft around the motor boat, causing the water to splash onto the fifth graders.

"Lincoln, I'm so wet!" Clyde complained.

"Aw, did we get you guys wet?" Hawk mocked. "Our bad."

"Now how do you like your faces?" Hank cracked his knuckles. "Fried or scrambled?"

Then Rusty saw something. He pointed up. "Oh, look!"

The others looked up and saw Liam on top of the jocks sail. He used a knife to tear the sail in half as slid down it.

"Wow, just like Errol Flynn." Rusty said impressed.

"Hey, that kid's ripping our sail!" Hank said, stating the obvious.

Liam jumped into the water and swam back to the boat. The others helped him in and cheered for him.

"Wait to go Liam!" Clyde said.

"Man, we can't let those dorks get away this." Hawk said. "Time for the heavy artillery."

"What do you have in mind?" Hank asked.

Hawk took out a stink filled water balloon. "The stink bomb!"

He took out a slingshot and fired the balloon at the other boys. It landed in their boat.

"A water balloon?" Zach said. The balloon started beeping like a time bomb.

"It's a stink bomb! Hit the deck!" Lincoln yelled. The five boys jumped off the boat and swam to shore. The balloon exploded, covering the boat in garbage. Then the boat headed down a waterfall.

"The boat!" Hank and Hawk cried. Then they realized they were heading down the waterfall. They went screamed as they fell down.

"Well, there goes our boat." Liam said disappointed.

"It wasn't really our boat." Clyde said. "Maybe we shouldn't have borrowed it without permission."

"Clyde's right." Lincoln said. "That boat must've had an original owner. I wonder who it belonged to?"

* * *

The two jocks had swam to shore, soaking wet.

"Man, that sucked." Hank said.

"Yeah, and we lost the stinking boat." Hawk said angrily.

"Wait dude, look!" Hank pointed to the boat, which had crashed into a tree and was now damaged. They ran over to it.

"Aw man, it's totaled!" Hawk said.

"Maybe we can get it fixed." Hank said.

"My boat!" The two jocks saw gym teacher, Coach Pacowski in front of them. "What did you boys do to my boat?!"

"Coach Pacowski?!"

"I'm gonna tear you two limb from limb!" Coach Pacowski yelled angrily. The jocks screamed and ran away as the coach chased after them.


	28. Chapter 28: Pop Goes The Loud

**A parody of the episode: Pop Goes The Ed. This chapter is also an alternative version of TLH episode-Pasture Bedtime.**

* * *

It was a hot summer day in Royal Woods. Lincoln and his friends ran over to an ice cream truck as they were sweating from the heat.

"Come on guys," Lincoln said. "We're almost there."

They arrived.

"Hey, do you have any ice cream left?"

"Sorry guys, the cooler broke and the last tub of ice cream melted." The ice cream man said.

"I don't care man. I'll take what I can get." Rusty said.

"Yeah, me too." Zach said.

The ice cream man took out a tub of ice cream and handed it to Rusty. "Here. You guys don't need to pay. You look desperate enough."

He left. Rusty looked at the ice cream. "Aw man, this one has nuts in it."

Rusty threw the tub away.

"No, wait!" Zach went after the tub of ice cream but the ice cream spilled onto the ground. "Dang it."

"So what do you fellers wanna do now?" Liam asked.

"Let's go to my place." Lincoln suggested.

As the boys walk back to Lincoln's neighborhood, the heat seemed to be getting stronger.

"What's up with this heat?!" Lincoln yelled as he sweated. "Shade! I need shade! Look!"

He pointed to a shady spot on the ground. The boys leapt onto the shady spot.

"Ah, shade."

But the shade started to disappear. Clyde felt the heat on his skin. "Oh no."

"This isn't good." Lincoln said. "We need to find some more shade."

The five boys went over to a different spot, but the shade vanished for every shady spot they went to.

"I know how we can cool off." Lincoln said.

Inside the Loud house, Lincoln had the fridge and freezer open which let the cool air out. The boys were relaxed. Then Lori and her friends entered the kitchen.

"Hey twerp, me and my friends want to use the fridge." Lori said.

"You'll have to wait. We were here first." Lincoln said.

"Well, we were born first."

"That excuse isn't going to work Lori. We're staying right here."

"But guys, there's another ice cream truck outside our house that's giving away free ice cream for kids."

"Wait, really?"

The five boys rush outside and they see no ice cream truck. Lori locked the front door and Lincoln realized they've been tricked.

"Dang it."

* * *

The five boys were crawling on sand, hot and sweaty.

"Need...water." Lincoln groaned.

"H20 please." Clyde said.

"I'm frying!" Rusty whined. "The fat lady just sang boys."

"My life is flashing before my eyes." Zach said.

"What life?"

The boys are seen in a sandbox. Chandler walks up to them. "What are you guys doing?"

The boys get up. "Nothing."

"Dorks." Chandler rides off on his bike.

"Hey Chandler, where are you going?" Lincoln asked.

"To Girl Jordan's pool party, stupid!"

"A pool party?"

"And you need an invitation to get in!"

"Did you hear that boys?" Lincoln said to his friends. " A pool party! This is our chance to cool off and score some social points too."

"Then we've got some preparations to do." Rusty said. "I know where to start."

* * *

At Rusty's house, the five boys were in Rusty's room.

"It's time to put the plan into action." Rusty said as searches through his drawer. "Relax guys. Don't do anything I wouldn't. Make yourselves at home."

The others sat on Rusty's bed. Rusty took out a key. "Oh yeah, now we're cruising."

"Now for the secret of schmoozing, the rapture of rap, the snap crackle pop of cool."

He went over to his closet and opened it. A few other doors opened up to reveal a briefcase inside. "Hire a secretary boys."

He uses the key to unlock the briefcase. The other boys come over. "Now this-no peeking-this will be a day you'll never forget."

He shows them the unlocked briefcase and opens it. "Check it out. Swimsuits of the gods. Well ok, they're my cousin's."

"They look like napkins." Clyde said.

"Cool briefcase Rusty." Zach said.

Rusty puts on music and puts on his swimsuit. He adds hair gel, lotion, and draws chest hair on his chest. He puts on sunglasses and takes a towel with him. The other boys have their swimsuits on too.

"Um, I think they're a bit too confining." Clyde mentioned.

"No way Jose, we're cooking." Rusty assured. "People used to try and be cool, but now it's hot. We're hot!"

"I'm half baked." Liam said.

"I still prefer my swimsuit." Lincoln said.

Rusty hands his friends a towel. "Ok, so we look good, we feel good. So off to the party. We're gonna be hip, we're gonna be hot, we're gonna make the scene."

The boys head off to Girl Jordan's place.

* * *

The five boys make it to the party and peek over the fence. They look around and see a lot of students from their school.

"Wow. Everybody's here." Lincoln said.

"I'm gonna check out the tat station." Zach said.

"I have to go on the water slide." Clyde confirmed.

"I'm gonna make a cannonball record." Lincoln confirmed.

"I'm hitting the buffet table." Liam stated.

"Wait guys, the entrance to a party is everything." Rusty said. The boys huddled and Rusty explained more.

* * *

The boys charged into the yard, attempting to do their grand entrance but crashed into a table.

"We could've planned that better." Lincoln groaned.

Chandler walked up the five boys. "Did you dorks even get an invitation?"

"We're so cool we don't need an invitation." Rusty boasted. Chandler used a sponge to erase Rusty's drawn chest hairs. "My penciled chest hairs!"

Rusty growled and pulled Chandler's swim trunks up to his chest. The two boys were about to fight but Girl Jordan stopped them.

"Now boys, this is a party. Relax, have fun."

Chandler just walked away. Girl Jordan noticed Lincoln and the others. "Did Chandler tell you guys you needed an invitation?"

"Yep." Lincoln said.

"Well don't listen to him. He was probably just messing with you guys. All fifth graders from our school were invited, so join the party."

"Alright!" Lincoln cheered.

"Time to mingle with the ladies." Rusty said. Then his stomach growled. "After I get something to eat, can't mingle on an empty stomach."

At the buffet table, Rusty gets a sandwich and Liam guzzles down a "beverage."

"This beverage sure hits the spot." Liam said. Rusty noticed what he was drinking.

"Dude, that's hot sauce."

"Ah know. Where can I get more of this stuff?"

Zach is at the tat station, applying tattoos on his face, stomach, and arm. Lincoln and Clyde are in the pool.

"Hey, look who showed up for the cannonball contest!" Molly is seen with a group of people as they approached Lincoln and Clyde.

"You're on Molly!" Lincoln said.

Rusty had finished making his subway sandwich, which was pretty big. When he tried to take a bite, the ingredients spilled onto the ground. "Dang it."

Zach came over. "Hey Rusty, did you mingle with any ladies?"

"Not yet." Then Rusty, Liam, and Zach saw some kids walking their way. "You two, get out there and mingle."

Rusty pushed Liam and Zach up front.

"Hey, have you guys seen Attack of the Zombie Brain Munchers?" Zach said to the kids.

"The operation I saw involved fascinating new brain extraction techniques." Liam said.

"By hideous mutants with huge drooling mouths."

"So precautions had to be taken to avoid contamination."

"From popping eyeballs and swelling brains."

"An incision was made to relieve tremendous pressure."

"But it was too late, his head exploded!"

The kids looked uncomfortable.

"With the slicing and the cleaving, the gnashing and the severing-"

"Bloody! Gory!" Liam and Zach said in unison as they demonstrated what happened in their respective shows. One kid fainted and the other kids leave. Rusty slaps his forehead.

"Guys! Guys!" Rusty grabbed both of them. "Stop talking shock! I said mingle."

Then guitar music was heard playing from the stereos and everyone started dancing. "Come on guys, let's mambo!"

Rusty, Liam, and Zach joined the dancing group of kids. Lincoln and Clyde were still by the pool.

"Wait, Molly! I'm about to do my cannonball!" Lincoln called. Lincoln jumped into the pool, making a big splash. "Did you see that Molly?"

Molly was not paying attention as she was dancing with her friends.

"Oh come on!"

"Well, I saw it Lincoln." Clyde said. "Let's go join the crowd."

Then Lincoln noticed something. "Uh oh. I lost my swimsuit."

"That's not good. Cover yourself with this." Clyde handed Lincoln a floatie. Lincoln put it around himself. Then Clyde noticed something.

"Uh Lincoln, I lost my swimsuit too."

"Here. Cover yourself with this life preserver." Lincoln gave him a life preserver. The two boys got out of the pool.

"Now what?" Clyde said. Lincoln sees a pool house.

"To the pool house! Quick!" They ran inside and turn the lights on. Outside, Rusty, Zach, and Liam were still dancing with the crowd of kids. Rusty attempted to do a dance move to impress Zach and Liam copied him. Suddenly, their swimsuits flew off, leaving them naked. They covered their private areas. Luckily, nobody was looking.

"Over there!" Rusty pointed to a table. They quickly ran behind the table.

"What do we do now?" Zach said embarrassed. "We're naked at Girl Jordan's party!"

"Wait, where are Lincoln and Clyde?" Liam wondered. In the pool house, the two boys were playing with the stuff inside. Just then, they heard they door open and gasped. It was Rusty, Liam, and Zach.

"Guys? Thank goodness you're here." Lincoln said. "And you're...naked too."

"So let me get this straight, we all need new swimsuits?" Rusty said.

"Apparently, but we haven't found any." Clyde said.

"Lets keep searching." Lincoln said. The boys all searched. Then they heard cheering outside.

"What's going out there?" Zach wondered. The five boys peeled outside and saw Molly and her friends carrying a big cake. Zach drooled and began to walk out of the pool house but Rusty stopped him.

"Get back here! Are you nuts?"

The kids were offered cake and the five boys were in despair. About half an hour later, the pool party was still going on. Lincoln and his friends were still in the pool house, playing with the stuff inside but were still bored. They couldn't find any swim trunks so they wore floaties instead.

"Fellas, I gotta pee." Liam said.

"And I'm really thirsty." Clyde said.

"Boys, we need to get outta here." Lincoln said. "These floaties might be embarrassing to wear, but at least it's covering our nakedness."

The others agreed.

"You're right Lincoln." Zach said. "But Rusty, you get in front of me since you're taller."

The five kids walk out of the pool house.

"Hurry! Let's sneak through those bushes!" Lincoln ordered. The five of them walked through the bushes. As they did, the thorns popped their floaties and they came out completely nude. That's when a spotlight shined on them. The boys realized they were naked and covered themselves.

"Check it out!" One kid pointed. "I didn't know this was a nudist party!"

Everyone began to laugh and take pictures on their phones as the five boys looked extremely embarrassed.

"This is so going on the internet!" Chandler said as he made a video of them.

* * *

"Clyde! Clyde! Wake up Clyde!" Lincoln's voice was heard as Clyde woke up.

"Huh? Wha-What happened?"

"You got a cramp and drowned in Girl Jordan's pool." Lincoln explained. It's shown the five boys are Girl Jordan's place wearing their own swimsuits.

"Wait, so we're not naked?"

"Naked? What are you talking about?" Zach questioned.

"I just had this dream we were naked at Girl Jordan's party and...nevermind, it was just a dream."

"Speaking of naked, you missed this funny scene." Rusty said as she showed a video on his phone. "Chandler lost his trunks in the pool."

Clyde laughed at this. "Ok, I guess I don't have to be embarrassed anymore. Wait, Rusty, what are you wearing?"

He noticed Rusty's swimsuit was the same one from his dream.

"My cousin's swimsuit. The ladies dig these."

Clyde had a worried look as he looked at the viewer.


	29. Chapter 29: Wish You Were Loud

**Based on the episode: Wish You Were Loud. Thank you sthompson1 for the suggestion**

* * *

Zach and Rusty are riding down the sidewalk. Zach on a scooter and Rusty on a bike. They meet up with Stella, who's roller skating.

"Hey Stella, cool skates." Zach commented.

"Thanks. You guys have nice rides too."

"Yeah, I like to hog the road with this bad boy." Rusty said, referring to his bike.

"Speaking of road hogs." Zach, Rusty, and Stella noticed Liam riding his pig. He was sitting in a crate that had a rope tied around it and the pig. He was holding a fishing rod with a carrot attached to it.

"Hey fellers, feast your eyes on my hot shot wagon. Pretty spicy huh?"

"I've got heartburn!" Rusty laughed, along with Stella and Zach.

"Boy, how stupid can you get?" Zach said.

"Oh, I'll make you eat yer words." Liam challenged. "We should have a race!"

"A race? You're on." Rusty accepted, along with Zach and Stella.

The four kids lined up for the race.

"Where to, dude?" Rusty asked Liam.

"We race to the Ye Olde Grub Cantina."

"Huh?" Rusty, Stella, and Zach were confused.

"I meant Gus Games n Grub."

The others excitedly raced off, leaving Liam behind. "Well, their enthusiasm is brave, but enough buffoonery."

He takes out a picture of a sow and shows it to Wilfred. "Come Wilfred, go like the speed of cabbage!"

Wilfred runs off so fast that Liam's crate comes loose. He falls face first on the ground. "Dang it."

He sits up. Lincoln and Clyde walk over playing their game consoles.

"Ok Clyde, jump over this lava pit." Lincoln told him.

"Aw man, not another pit."

Lincoln noticed Liam sitting on the sidewalk and paused his game. "Hey Liam, what's up?"

"I'm heartbroken." Liam sighs. Lincoln and Clyde stare at him, then at each other as there's an awkward silence. Liam breaks the silence. "My keister is cold."

"Your what?" Lincoln said.

"Ah grow tired of this cold cement, this twisted steel of industry, these confusing leisure delights, and those brain rotting game devices! Ah sweat myself to understand your modern go go world. But I yearn for the simple life. The life I once had in mah old country."

He takes out a picture of himself in his old home town. He's dressed in a cowboy outfit as he's riding a pig. Liam's eyes become watery.

"Are you alright Liam?" Clyde asked.

"Mah heart! Mah heart! It's broken! Ah yearn for the old southern town!" Saddened, he walks off with his crate and pig.

"Poor Liam." Lincoln said with concern.

"It must be difficult to adapt to a new way of life." Clyde said. "To put aside handed down beliefs and pulled between two cultures."

"So Liam's homesick. But I have a plan."

"Let me guess. You're going to make Liam believe he's back in his old home town."

"You know me too well Clyde."

* * *

Liam was back at his farm, feeding the animals and looking depressed. Lincoln and Clyde are seen walking towards the farm. Clyde is wearing a robot costume, which was part of Lincoln's plan.

"There he is." Lincoln pointed.

"Ok, let's get this over with." Clyde said. "It's kinda hard to walk in this metal suit."

"He's coming this way. You know the drill Clyde."

Clyde starts acting like a robot.

"Hey Liam, check out this cool human sized robot toy!"

"How in holy Hannah did you get that?" Liam questioned.

"I just wished for one and presto chango, I got one!"

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" Clyde muttered sarcastically.

Liam got curious. "Wait! Tell me more about this hocus pocus as I have wishes too."

"Behold!" Lincoln takes out a shoe. "The magical shoe!"

"Which is really Lana's old sneaker." Clyde muttered.

"What's that stench?" Liam said as there was an odor coming out of the shoe.

"That's the stench of destiny." Lincoln replied. "Believe in the stench Liam. As it grants your wish, no matter what it is."

"Lincoln, could the shoe take pity on me and grant me back to my home land?"

"Yes."

"Can I speak to the shoe?"

"It's all yours man." Lincoln tossed the shoe over to Liam.

"Oh sweet Mama!" Liam said excitedly. He inspected the shoe. "Is there a manual for this?"

"Just make your wish and take a whiff from the smell of destiny."

"He doesn't have to smell the-"

Lincoln shushed Clyde.

"Oh magic shoe, grant my wish and take me to my home!" Liam took a big whiff from the shoe and Lincoln couldn't help but chuckle. The stench was strong enough to knock him out. He spun around in circles as he was dazed and fell down onto his back.

* * *

When Liam awoken, he saw that he wasn't at his farm. Or in Royal Woods. It was a southern town.

"Could it be?"

Liam rushes over to a well. He takes a ladle hung on the side and drinks some of the water, but he finds a grasshopper in it. He spits it out. "The water is fouled with infestation. My wish has been granted! YEE-HAW! I'M BACK!"

It's shown that the town and building background are made of cardboard props to make it seem like a southern land. It shows that he's really in the construction site. Liam happily rolls around in the dirt as Lincoln and Clyde with him.

"I knew this encyclopedia of old world culture would come in handy." Clyde said, holding out an encyclopedia.

"Good." Lincoln said. "Liam is satisfied. Let's leave him alone right now."

"But Lincoln, we can't just leave. We have to see this through. Liam has a wish."

"Oh, you're right."

"Hello? Butcher?" Liam was at a butchers meat stand, where the meat was made out of cardboard. "Come quickly. I wish to purchase this drumstick."

"Did Liam say purchase?" Lincoln went to the stand, dressed as a southern butcher, including a mustache. He spoke in a southern accent. "Howdy there fella. Ah heard you wanted to purchase a drumstick."

"That's right." Liam used a rope to lasso a cactus over. He sat on the cactus but didn't seem to feel any pain. "Are ya ready butcher?"

Lincoln was confused and walked over to Clyde, who was behind cardboard.

"What the heck is he doing?"

Clyde checked in his encyclopedia. "It's one of his customs Lincoln. The barterers shall sit on the cactuses. Interesting. In order to conduct any market negotiations."

"That's...weird." Lincoln commented.

"Come on butcher!" Liam called as he was waiting. Lincoln pushed Clyde out, who was dressed as a southern belle with blonde hair.

"Meet the wife. She handles the market stuff." Lincoln walked away. Clyde sat on a cactus but found it uncomfortable.

Liam kisses Clyde's hand. "Nice to meet you ma'am."

Clyde was grossed out by the kiss. Lincoln giggled.

"Enough formalities." Liam took a drumstick. "How much for the drumstick?"

"Well, uh, let's see now, um, how about three horseshoes?" Clyde offered.

"I'll give you...two chickens." Liam offered.

"Chickens?" Lincoln said.

"Sounds fair." Clyde accepted. "Thank you."

"What? Do you not want four chickens?" Liam questioned.

"I'll be happy to take four. Four chickens it is."

"I said two."

"Four chickens and a rubber band?"

"Two chickens!"

"My butt is killing me! Two chickens then."

"Hold it mister," Lincoln said. "This butcher only takes cash."

Liam holds out the chickens and Lincoln takes them anyway.

"I bet Lana would want these."

"Thank you southern butcher and wife." Liam said as he walked off with his fake drumstick. "I'm beside myself for I'm home again!"

* * *

Liam is seen digging a hole. Lincoln, who's now dressed as a cowboy, walks up to him with a wheelbarrow full of rocks.

"That's a mighty fine hole ya dug there."

"Do you like it?"

"This town requires a hole digging permit. So unless you buy one, you're gonna have to eat one of these rocks."

"Shh!" Liam says a bunch of nonsensical words.

"What?" Lincoln was confused. Suddenly, someone dug their way onto the surface. It was a southern boy wearing a cowboy hat and overalls.

"Howdy y'all!"

Liam gasps. "Cousin Davey?"

"Who?" Lincoln said.

"This is my southern cousin Davey."

"Looks like I done dug mah way back to the old southern town." Davey said.

"Well I made a wish on a magic shoe and found myself back here. Now that we're both back home, we should have a celebration!"

"Uh, sure. Why not?" Lincoln said.

He pointed at Clyde. "Southern lady, play the old popular southern song."

Clyde took out a banjo and looked through a songbook. "Southern songs, southern songs."

He found the right song. "That's my cow?"

Clyde played the song. And surprisingly, he could play the banjo pretty well. Liam started dancing.

"Come on Davey, you know this song."

Davey began to dance with Liam.

"That's my cow!" Liam slapped Davey.

"That's my cow!" Davey slapped Liam back.

Liam punched Davey. "No, that's my cow!"

"It's my cow!" Davey pushed Liam. The two southerns laughed. Liam got a barrel and hit Davey with it.

"That's my cow!"

"Weird song, but I actually like it." Lincoln said.

"That's my cow!" Davey hit Liam with a wheelbarrow.

"What an entertaining dance." Clyde said.

"You ain't whistling Dixie, brother." Lana said, who just showed up.

"Lana?" Lincoln and Clyde said in unison.

"She can't be here!" Clyde panicked. "This is an old southern town!"

Lincoln pushed his sister away. "Sorry Lana, you don't belong here."

"Why not?"

"Because...you need a passport."

"You're not the boss of me Lincoln!"

Lana walked off.

"Phew. That was close." Lincoln said. But Lana didn't leave and ran right back into the fake town.

"Clyde, she's making a run for it!"

"Lana, stop please! Liam can't see you!"

Davey was thrown onto Clyde. Lana ran into Liam. Lincoln kicked her away and she hit a cardboard building.

"That was a blonde haired rodent." Lincoln said to Liam. "They're a real problem in this town."

"Rodents make a fine hamburger." Liam stated.

"Sure they do. You get the buns and I'll get the rodent."

Lincoln pushed Liam away. A cardboard building fell onto Lincoln.

"Golly. I'm getting out of here!" Lana ran off but bumped into another background which was knocked down. Liam noticed this and realized the truth.

"This is no southern town."

"Uh oh." Clyde said.

"Wait, y'all mean to tell me you ain't southerns?" Davey questioned.

"You've made a darn fool out of me!" Liam said angrily. "Why I oughta-"

"Liam, wait! Let me explain!" Clyde said, who was now in his usual clothes. "You know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat. Wait, wrong analogy."

Liam walked angrily towards Lincoln and Clyde.

"We were just trying to bring back your cultural heritage!" Lincoln explained, as he was now wearing his normal attire.

"Oh, is this so? Let me teach you then." Liam got the banjo and began to play "Thats my Cow." His cousin was dancing.

"Come on Clyde, Liam and the hillbilly want to celebrate."

"That's my cow!" Davey picked up Lincoln, spin him around and threw him against a background.

"It's your cow, it's your cow!" Clyde cowered in fear.

"No, like this." Davey makes Clyde hit him. Clyde holds his hand in pain.

"Ok Davey, it's my cow!"

"No, wait, it's my cow!" Davey advances towards the two boys as they beg for mercy.

"Come on everybody!" Liam joyfully plays the last notes of the song.


	30. Chapter 30: Thick as a Loud

**It's been a while since I've posted a new chapter of Loud Loudd n Louder, but now I'm back to making more chapters. Here's a parody of the episode: Thick as an Ed**

* * *

 _Lana was taking a nice relaxing mud bath in the woods. She gurgles mud and then spits it out. She bathes Hops in mud._

 _"I sure love mud, Hops."_

 _"I love mud too, Lana." He responded. "Oh Lana? Lana? Lana?!"_

We cut to reality and we see that Lana has fallen asleep in her cereal as it's breakfast. Lincoln wakes her up. "Huh?"

"Lana, you need to get ready." Lincoln said.

"Ready for what?" Lana said tiredly.

"Our fishing trip, remember? You, me, and Lola were assigned with the task of catching fish for Dad's restaurant."

"Oh, right. Let me get dressed then."

* * *

Lincoln and the twins were outside on the front lawn. Lincoln had a fishing net and fishing pole. Lana had a fisherman's hat and pole, and Lola had a pole too.

"Ok, fishing nets, check." Lincoln said as he looked over his notepad. "Fishing poles, check. Bait?"

Lana lifted her hat to reveal a jar of worms on her head. "Check."

"Then we're ready." Lincoln said.

"I hope I get the most credit for catching the most fish." Lola said.

"This is a team effort Lola."

"Ok, fine." Lola walks over to her twin. Then she smells something so terrible that it makes her skin and clothes colors melt off. She goes over to her brother.

"There's a really bad odor coming from you know who!" Lola said, pointing at Lana. Lincoln looked over to see Lana testing out her fishing pole as she reels in a boot.

"Lana's stink? So what else is new?" Lincoln questioned.

"Not like this, Lincoln. I think I'm going to be sick!"

Lola ran into the house.

"Wait, what about the fishing trip?"

"Did mom call her or something?" Lana asked as she went closer to Lincoln. He could smell the foul odor coming from her and pushed her away.

"Pee-you Lana, did something crawl on you and die?"

Then Lola came back with their dog, Charles.

"What are you doing with Charles?" Lincoln asked. "We've got to get to our fishing trip."

"Not until I find out where Lana's awful smell is coming from." Lola put Charles down. "Charles, sniff out Lana."

Charles crawled onto Lana and sniffed her left side pocket. The smell was so bad he fainted.

"There! In her pocket!" Lola yelled out.

"Quit yelling in my ear." Lincoln said annoyed.

"Don't make me laugh." Lana said. "All that's in here is my lucky Burpin burger."

She pulled a rotten, moldy burger out of her pocket and showed it to her two siblings.

"Oh my gosh!" Lola exclaimed. She covered her nose and gagged. Lana showed the burger up close to Lola.

"Say hello to Burgie, Lola."

Lola backed away. "That's disgusting, Lana!"

"Oh come on, he's not that bad. He's been living in my overalls for two months."

This made Lola freak out and run towards the house, but Lincoln stopped her.

"Oh no you don't! We need you to catch fish with us." He looked at Lana.

"Lana, you should leave Burgie in your pocket."

Lana put the foul burger in her pocket and patted her burger. "You'll be safe in here, Burgie."

* * *

The three Louds are now in the woods, where they've found a lake near the dock.

"Ah, the great outdoors." Lana said happily. "How I love it."

"This is the best place to fish." Lincoln said. "Bring out the worms, Lana."

Lola is wearing a clothespin so she doesn't have to smell Lana's disgusting burger. "Do you expect me to touch those things?"

"Don't worry, these are gummy worms." Lana stated. Lincoln took a worm out of the jar.

"She's right. They're not moving."

"Well then, let's start fishing." Lola said.

The three kids start fishing. However, the smell of Lana's patty becomes stronger it comes out of her pocket. The smell goes over to Lola and the nose plug isn't helping as Lola can smell the burger.

"Rancid moldy burger!!!" Lola moves away. She washes her face with soap. "I refuse to participate any further until Lana washes that offensive, disgusting overall of hers!"

"Lola, come on. We've got fish to catch for Dad."

Lana reels something in. "Oh look, I caught a boot. Who would throw a perfectly good boot in the river?"

"There's some things you won't believe people throw in here." Lincoln said. "Oh, I think see an action figure."

As Lincoln and Lana continued to fish, Lola used her fishing rod to get Lana's rotten burger. Though, her aim was a little off and the hook onto caught Lana's shirt. Lana felt Lola tugging her shirt and pulled the fishing line, dragging Lola over to her.

"Lola, what are you doing? You're not gonna catch any fish from back there."

Lana's unpleasant burger scent went into Lola's nostrils, which disgusted her again. "FILTHY! NASTY! SMELLY!"

Lola ran into a shower, which was on the woods for some reason. She poked her head out of the curtain as she was wearing a shower cap.

"Lana, get rid of that burger immediately!" She demanded.

"Ok, if you give me your tiara."

Lincoln groaned in annoyance. Lola was now back in her clothes.

"My tiara? Why that's the silliest thing I've ever heard." Lola argued. "Absolutely not."

"Just give her the dang tiara so we can catch some fish." Lincoln said.

"The point is my tiara doesn't smell." Lola stated.

"Oh yes it does." Lana argues.

Lola looked offended. "No it doesn't. You're just saying that because I said your overall smells."

"Stinky tiara." Lana insulted.

"You've got a two month expired burger in your pocket, Lana."

"Stinky tiara."

"Odoriferous overalls!"

"Stinky tiara!

"Putrid patty!

"Stinky tiara!"

"Malodorous meat!"

"Oh yeah? STINKY TIARA!"

"FOUL, DISGUSTING FAST FOOD!"

"STINKY TIARA!"

"QUIET! Both of you!" Lincoln interrupted, fed up with the twins arguing. The twins frowned, mad at each other, they went off in opposite directions.

"Oh come on." Lincoln said frustrated. "We've got a job to do here!"

"I'm sorry, Lincoln, but I can't work under these conditions." Lola complained.

"Oh, yes you can. You just worry about catching those fish and I'll take care of Lana."

Lincoln went over to Lana as he got an idea. "Say Lana, how about we play a game?"

"What kind of game?"

"It's an underwater game where you test how long you can hold your breath underwater."

"Oh, I can do that."

"But first, you should take off your overalls. Wouldn't want them to get wet."

"Ok." Lana removes her overalls, leaving her in her shirt and undies. She jumps into the river. Lincoln then tossed the overalls over to Lola. Minutes past and Lana is swimming around underwater, still holding her breath.

"You're doing good Lana." Lincoln complimented.

"Lincoln, I need your help!" Lola called. Lola has propped up Lana's overalls in a closed off circle of land. She's wearing a mask and gloves.

"Hold this." She gives Lincoln an empty jar. Then she uses two tongs to get the burger from the overall pocket.

"What's taking you?" Lincoln said.

"Back up! Back up!" Lola got the rotten burger over to Lincoln, who cringed with disgust. She puts the patty in the jar and Lincoln closes it. Lola takes the jar, then removes her mask and clothespin. She sniffs the air.

"Success!" Lola said relieved. Lincoln grabbed her arm.

"Good. Now can you and Lana kids and make up? We've got a task to complete here."

But Lana had already gotten out of the water, soaking wet. She caught Lola with her foul burger. "Aha! That's my lucky burger!"

She took it back and walked off. Lincoln grew more frustrated. "We're never gonna catch these fish!"

Lola went over to Lana. "Lana, I beg you! Don't open that jar!"

"No can do. Burgie has to get some fresh air." Lana opened the jar, releasing the smelly burger scent into Lola's face.

"Vile! Smelly! Profane!" Lola backed away. Lana took the burger out of the jar and kissed it. Then she put it back in her pocket.

"Home sweet home, huh Burgie."

Lola threw up in a bag. "I can't take it anymore! I'm on the edge of passing out! Too late. Everything's gone black. Black as the meat of Lana's lucky burger." Lola falls onto a pillow as she is being over dramatic. "Forge ahead, brave brother. (coughs) I'm sure the fishing will go well without me."

Then Lola pretends to pass out.

"Oh look, dirt." Lana said, pointing at the ground.

"Lana! You've become a problem for this fishing trip!" Lincoln yelled angrily. "Get rid of that burger NOW!"

"But Burgie's my pal!" Lana protested.

"Get rid of it!"

"No!" Lana ran away and Lincoln chased after her. Then Lincoln tripped into a mud puddle. He growled, but got an idea.

"Lana, check out this mud puddle!"

Lana looked at the puddle. "Eh, I've seen better."

Lincoln got another idea. "Ok, wait! I know. Let's start a new country. Named after you. It'll be called "Lanabraska." Yeah, you'll be a big shot! The Queen Of Plumbers! And uh...those plumbers will worship Lanabraska's new flag: your overalls!"

Lana thought about this. Lola crosses her fingers, hoping Lana would fall for the plan.

"That sounds awesome!" Lana said excitedly. "Raise the flag Lincoln!"

Lincoln wastes no time in taking Lana's overalls and runs rapidly up a tree. He ties the overalls onto the highest branch. Lola smiles. Then Lincoln comes back down.

"Now how about we catch those fish, huh?" He pushes Lana over to the docks. "You too, Lola."

"I'd be happy to, Lincoln." Lola begins to head over to the dock. Unfortunately, the wind causes the moldy sandwich to fall out of Lana's overalls. It hits Lola on the head and she falls backwards.

"I hope we still have enough worms." Lincoln said.

"Burgie!" Lana pushes Lincoln off and picked up her burger. "And to think I almost forgot you."

"Oh Lana?" Lincoln was steaming with fury as his face was red. He grabbed the stinky patty and threw it into the river, where it sank to the bottom. The bad smell caused some fish to pop up onto the surface as they were now dead. Lana ran over to the river and got sad.

"Well, that was economical." Lola said, satisfied. "And it attracted some fish. Let's get to fishing."

Lana was sobbing, sad that she lost her lucky burger. Lola felt bad for her twin sister and went to comfort her.

"Lana?" Lola reaches to touch her but Lana moved her arm away and continued to cry. Lola took out a handkerchief. "You know, handkerchiefs can be very lucky."

Lincoln felt guilty and comforted Lana. "Lana, I'm sorry about I did, but it was for Lola's own good. How about after we catch fish we go find you a less gross lucky charm?"

"Oh, I just remembered." Lana pulled a moldy, rotten muffin out of her right pocket. "I have Muffy, my more than lucky muffin."

This made Lola disgusted. "Lana, get rid of that muffin immediately!"

"Stinky tiara."

"Barf bread!"

"Stinky tiara!"

"Disgusting, foul smelly dessert!"

"Stinky tiara!"

"Lincoln!"

Frustrated once again, Lincoln buried his face in his hands.


	31. Chapter 31: Laugh Loud Laugh

**A parody of the episode: Laugh Ed Laugh**

* * *

The story begins with Lori getting into Vanzilla. She texts a message to her friend Becky.

 _I'm running a little late, but I'm on my way_.

Lori waits for a response. Becky replies back. _Ok gurlfriend._

Lori drives off. "This is literally gonna be great. Me and my friends having a mini golf tournament at Becky's place. I guarantee that nothing will ruin this day."

Soon, Lori arrives at Becky's place with her golf putter. She rings the doorbell and hears someone groaning. Becky opens the door, and she looks ill.

"Oh, hey Lori. I had to cancel the golf tournament."

"What? Why?"

"Everyone got a nasty stomach flu. It must've been from that bad sushi that Chaz brought."

"Food poisoning? I've been there." Lori said as she remembered the time Leni made sandwiches for a family vacation. "But for real? Everyone got sick?"

Then Lori got text messages from her friends, notifying her about their sickness. She read one from Chaz.

"Hey Lori, I cant hang out right now. Expired sushi not sitting well."

Then she read one message from Dana.

"I'm sick Lori, thanks to Chaz and his bad sushi."

She read one from Carol.

"Hey, you've probably already heard, but me and the others are sick from food poisoning. You're lucky though."

Lori looked through the rest of the messages. "It's true. I'm the only one who's not sick."

"Sorry we can't hang out, Lori." Becky said. "But you should enjoy the day while you can."

Then she turned green as she looked nauseous. "I gotta go!" She shut the door and left. Lori heard Becky vomit, which concerned and disgusted her.

* * *

Now Lori is driving off in Vanzilla. She comes across Clyde's house and sees Clyde and his fathers building something. Lori rolls down her window.

"Clyde?"

Clyde noticed her and stuttered. "L-L-Lori?"

"I thought you were hanging out with my brother and his friends."

"Well, I would have, but I wanted to make this model space pod with my dads." Clyde gestures to the pod they were making.

"What do you need a space pod for?"

"We're reenacting a sci fi movie: The Pod."

Howard and Harold are seen in the pod, but there's not enough room.

"It's a little cramped in here." Howard said as he was crushed by Harold.

"Wow, you're such a geek." Lori deadpanned.

"Thank you." Clyde said. "So what are you up to?"

"Nothing really. I was going to spend time with my friends but none of them are available right now."

"Say, why don't you hang with us? We could use an alien for our re-enactment." Clyde pulled out an alien antenna.

Lori cringed. "Um...I just remembered I had an important...thing to do at home."

Lori instantly drives off.

"See you next time, my love." Clyde said quietly.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lori was going to solve a jigsaw puzzle with her parents in the living room.

"I'm glad you decided to join us in our fifty piece puzzle game." Rita said.

"Well, since my friends sick and my siblings are hanging out with their friends, this was literally the next best option."

"Alright then, let's get jiggy with this jigsaw puzzle." Lynn Sr. said excitedly.

After solving some of the puzzle, Lori was getting a little bored with it. Lori was about to put in another piece, but Rita beat her to it.

"Hey, it was my turn!" Lori angrily slammed a puzzle piece onto the puzzle. "Your turn."

Lori got up and walked away. Her parents were confused by her behavior.

"Is Lori ok?" Lynn Sr. wondered. Rita shrugged.

* * *

Lynn Sr. and Rita are now making a stack of cards. Lori is pacing back and forth, looking irritated.

"One final piece." Lynn Sr. added the last card but then the stack of cards fell apart. The two adults laughed.

"You guys are boring me!" Lori yelled. Lynn Sr. was about to leave. "Where are you going, baldy? Yeah, that's right. Your hair is falling out."

"Lori." Rita said surprised at Lori's behavior.

"And you, what's with the junk in the trunk? What have you been eating?"

Rita was speechless. Lynn Sr. changed the subject.

"I know. Let's go change a lightbulb."

"Boring!! Your ideas are boring! I need my friends!"

"Look Lori, you'll just have to wait for your friends to recover." Rita said. Lori sighed.

"Come on, Lynn. Let's go change that lightbulb."

The parents begin to leave.

"Hey, wait you guys! Um, check this out!" Lori turned herself into a human pretzel.

"We've seen that before, honey." Lynn Sr. stated. "Now you're boring us."

* * *

Lori tried to call her friends on her phone. "Dana? Please answer!"

No response.

She calls Chaz. "Chaz?

No reply.

She tries calling Carol and Joey, but they don't answer.

"Clyde?" She tries to call him but then stops, realizing what she was doing. "Oh no! I'm calling on Clyde!"

Lori sank down as she was starting to lose her sanity. She felt her brain popping like popcorn. Then she was moving uncontrollably and running around like a maniac. Lynn Sr. and Rita saw this.

"Lori's funny." Lynn Sr. said amused.

"Oh dear." Rita said worried. "This is serious. We've got to do something. Without friends to hang out with, she's gone crazy!"

Lori ran through the front door, laughing crazily.

"We've got no choice, Lynn. For our daughter's safety, we'll have to capture her."

* * *

Lori, in her state of craziness, climbed up a tree. "I see you!" She scared some squirrels away.

"Hey, where ya going?"

"Oh Lori!" Lori heard a voice and looked down. She saw Becky and Chaz. Actually, they were her parents disguised as Lori's friends. Her dad wearing a Becky mask and her mom wearing a Chaz mask. Lori jumped down and was happy to see her friends.

"Hey guys! Chaz, did you lose weight?"

Before Rita could answer, Lynn's mask fell to the ground.

"Oops." He said.

"Becky, you dropped your face." Lori said. "I'll get you a new one."

She ran off.

"Well, this didn't work." Rita said.

* * *

At the park, Lori comes across a mother and her baby boy. "Aw, what an adorable baby."

"Oh, why thank you." The mother said.

The baby had a lollipop in his mouth and pulled it out.

"Candy!" Lori took the candy, put it in her mouth and ran off. The mother's baby started crying.

"Hey, how dare you steal candy from a baby!" The mother scolded.

Lynn Sr. and Rita rushed by.

"We'll take care of this, ma'am." Lynn Sr. said.

"I'm sorry about this." Rita said.

Lori was at the playground, sucking on the lollipop.

"Lori, drop the candy!" Rita ordered.

"You'll have to catch me first!" Lori escaped, using athletic skills. Her parents were unable to catch up to her.

* * *

Lori found a hot dog cart and thought it was a tanning bed. She laid on it.

"Hey lady, what do you think you're doing?" The vendor said, annoyed.

"Relaxing." Lori said.

Rita and Lynn Sr. sneaked over with rope tied to a plunger.

"Ma'am, this is not a tanning salon!" The vendor said.

"Now Lynn!" Rita ordered. Lynn threw the plunger onto Lori's head.

"Ambush!" Lori panicked and ran away. Rita was holding the rope so she was dragged off with Lori.

"Rita!" Lynn Sr. followed. Lori ran into another corner of the street. Rita bumped into objects as she was being dragged. Then she bumped into a light pole, causing her to lose Lori. Lynn Sr. caught up to his wife.

"You have all the fun." He complained and helped his wife up. She had a bruised face and spit some leaves out of her mouth.

* * *

In the neighborhood, Lori is seen behind a fence, looking crazed. "Those coppers will never take me alive!"

Then she sees something. A picture of Bobby attached to some rope on the ground. "Hello handsome."

Lori tries to grab the picture, but it's pulled away. "Come back here, Boo Boo Bear."

She chases after it. Rita is the one with rope, leading Lori to somewhere as her husband follows. She reels the picture in and waves it at Lori.

"Stop teasing. Bobby, I'm home!"

Lori runs into Rita. Her parents have led her to a shed.

"You and me against the world, baby!" Lori had the picture of Bobby as she was running around.

"Honey, close the door." Rita told Lynn Sr. He closed it and Rita locked it, using a few locks. She hands a key to Lynn. "Hide this key discreetly."

He put the key in a jar.

"Let's get married." Lori said to the picture of Bobby.

"Not so fast, missy." Rita said. "You haven't even graduated from high school yet."

"Oh Lori, I've got a surprise for you." Lynn Sr. directed her attention to "Bobby" who was standing behind her.

"BOBBY!" Lori tackled and hugged him. "You're here! You're really here! Now we can hang out!"

"Lori, take a closer look at "Bobby". Lynn Sr. said.

"What?" Lori then realized this wasn't the real Bobby. It was cardboard. "Hey, this isn't the real Bobby! You tricked me!"

Lori threw the cardboard in anger.

"Lori's mad." Lynn noted.

"That's right, she's back to normal." Rita said smiling.

Lori growled but heard voices from outside. Luckily, there was a window in the shed so Lori looked out. She saw her friends, walking past her.

"My friends! They're all better!" Lori said happily. "I'm getting out of here."

Lori went to the door and tried to open it, but it was locked. "Where's the key?"

"I put it in this unbreakable jar with the lid glued on." Lynn Sr. stated.

"You What?!" Lori exclaimed. She took the jar and tried to open it.

"Oh, that probably wasn't the best idea." Lynn realized. Rita facepalmed. Now matter what Lori did, she couldn't get the key from the jar.

"The window!" Lori tried to open the window, but that wouldn't open. "Oh come on! How will we get out of here?!"

Lynn Sr. noticed a small hole. "I've got it."

Lynn Sr. got to work, digging a way out of the shed with his bare hands.

"This may take some time."


	32. Chapter 32: To Sir With Loud

**Here's a parody of the episode: To Sir With Loud**

 **I was going to use Luna and Sam for the two main roles, but scrapped the idea for reasons.**

* * *

It was evening at the Loud house. In Lincoln's room, the white haired boy is wrapped up in a blanket as he has a cold. He looks in a mirror.

"Man, I look terrible." Lincoln said to himself as his voice was nasally. Then he looked at the viewers. "As you can see, I'm sick. Why couldn't I have gotten sick on a school day?"

Then he called Dad. "Hey dad, is dinner ready yet?" No response. "Dad?"

He opened his door and walked into the hall. "Is anybody home?"

His voice echoed through the house and there was nobody seen. "Looks like I'm all alone. I need someone to take care of me."

At Clyde's house, Clyde is watching tv. His phone rings and he answers it. "McBride residence, Clyde speaking."

"Hey Clyde."

"Hey Lincoln, what's up?"

"I'm sick and I'm home alone. I was wondering if you could look after me."

"Oh, sorry about that, buddy. I don't know if I can risk coming over. I don't want to catch your cold."

"You'll be fine, Clyde. I really need someone to check my temperature." He sneezes and mucus comes out of his nose. "I think I might pass out."

Lincoln was being a bit dramatic, but Clyde looked concerned.

"Don't worry Lincoln. I'll be on my way." Clyde assured.

"Thanks, you're a real pal, Clyde."

* * *

Soon, someone knocked on the door.

"That must be Clyde." Lincoln said and sneezed. He answered the door.

"Hi Lincoln." This wasn't Clyde. It was one of Lincoln's classmates, Girl Jordan. Lincoln was surprised to see her.

"J-Jordan?"

"Sorry I'm late. I guess your family already went out. Poor Lincoln. I'll just get your dinner started, ok?" Jordan went to the kitchen, leaving Lincoln confused. Suddenly, he was sprayed with a disinfectant spray.

"Aaauggh!"

Clyde, who was wearing a hazmat suit was the one who sprayed him as he had just arrived. Lincoln coughed.

"What the heck, Clyde?"

"Sorry, I overreacted."

Then they heard sounds coming from the kitchen.

"Shh! Come here." Lincoln whispered and sneaked over to the kitchen with Clyde following. "Look who's making soup in my kitchen."

Clyde was speechless when he saw Girl Jordan. The two boys left quietly. Jordan read a list.

"So dinner at seven and in bed by nine. Easy."

The boys were now in Lincoln's room.

"Well, this is...interesting." Clyde said. "What's Girl Jordan doing in your house?"

"How should I know?" Lincoln panicked. "She just came in and started making me dinner!"

Clyde gasps. "Culinary delights? Lincoln, you don't suppose this could be a...date?"

"Of course. A date!" Lincoln said ecstatically. "Girl Jordan gave into my charm. I've got a date with Jordan."

"But you're sick. You can't date her when you're sick."

"I'm not that sick. I bet things will be fine."

"If you say so. I've read about these encounters. They're maneuvers are quite tricky. At least that's what I've read."

"No time for kid games, Clyde. I have to go get ready for my date with Jordan."

* * *

Clyde was now out of his hazmat suit. He's outside of Lincoln's room, giving him privacy since Lincoln is preparing for his date. He is looking over a book about dating. It's titled: Birds, Bees, and Sweaty Palms.

"It says a date begins with witty and humorous conversation, in order to discover compatibility."

"Witty and humorous, huh?" Lincoln said. "Good thing I'm both of those things."

"Don't forget about respect, sincerity, and good grooming." Clyde mentioned.

Then Lincoln opened his door. He had a different hairstyle, a robe, slippers, and a pipe. "Do I look like a million bucks or what?" He blew bubbles out of his pipe.

"Or what is a good question. Though I feel the pipe is a bit much."

"Yeah, you're right." Lincoln threw the pipe away and looked at himself in a mirror. "It'll distract her from my devilish good looks."

Clyde entered the room. "Lincoln, may I suggest writing Girl Jordan a poem? An ode comparing her eyes to bottomless pools of beauty, or a sonnet detailing her boundless admiration of her personal hygiene."

Lincoln noticed that Charles had given himself a bad haircut with a razor, as he now had a bald spot.

"I think I'll pass on the poem." Lincoln said. He added hair gel to his hair. "Everybody knows I've got that old black magic."

Then Girl Jordan popped her head into the room. "Supper's ready, Lincoln."

She left. Then Lincoln got nervous as Clyde was drawing fake hair on Charles.

"Clyde, you've got to help me!"

"What's wrong Lincoln?"

Lincoln was hiding under his bed sheet. "Jordan scares me. The date's off. Forget it, I'm not moving."

* * *

Girl Jordan is ready with dinner. Wearing oven mitts, she carries a pot of soup to the dining room. "Hope you're hungry, Lincoln. It's my fave."

She sees Lincoln hiding in a blanket.

"Lincoln, you ok?" She sets the pot on the table. Lincoln pops his head out and makes a cute sneeze.

"Aw, you're adorable." Girl Jordan commented and went back into the kitchen. That comment made Lincoln blush.

"Did you hear that, Clyde? She said I'm adorable."

Clyde was under the table. He popped out. "Yeah, I heard. You're doing great so far, buddy."

"But I don't know if I can-Hide! She's coming back!"

Clyde went back under the table and Girl Jordan came back with two bowls. One for Lincoln and one for her. She poured soup into Lincoln's bowl. "I hope you like my soup. It'll make you feel better. I made it just for you."

She gave Lincoln his bowl. He sweated and smiled nervously. Jordan helped herself to some soup as she sat across from Lincoln.

"Why doesn't he say something?" Clyde wondered. He poked his head out from under the table. "Psst! Lincoln, compliment Jordan on her cooking. Go on, say it."

Lincoln was so nervous he couldn't form words. Girl Jordan giggled.

"Oh dear." Clyde said.

Uneased, Lincoln bit off part of the table and ate it.

"Weird." Jordan commented. She continued eating her soup.

"Clyde, a little help here?" Lincoln whispered. Clyde stuck his arms out and tried to get the bowl closer to feed Lincoln by pulling on the tablecloth but the hot soup accidentally poured onto Lincoln. Lincoln was in pain, but he tried not to scream.

"Whoops." Clyde said.

Girl Jordan noticed how messy Lincoln was. "Lincoln, look at you. You're a mess."

Lincoln smiled uneasily. Jordan chuckled. "I think it's time someone had a bath."

Then the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it, while you get ready." Jordan went to answer the door. Clyde came out from under the table.

"Come on Lincoln, a warm bath should unstuff you."

Lincoln and Clyde walked off.

"That soup was hot." Lincoln said, still in pain.

Girl Jordan opened the door to see Liam in his Royal Ranger uniform. He read something from a piece of paper. "Good evening, Mrs. Loud, we represent the Royal Rangers. As you can see, we're proud to offer you-"

"A block of chocolate." Zach presented, as he was also in his Royal Rangers uniform. Behind Zach, there was a huge block of chocolate. Liam continued reading.

"Yes, it's unbelievable. Let us demonstrate its uses." Liam looked up and was surprised to see Jordan.

"Hi Liam." She greeted. Confused, Liam looked at the house zip code.

"Ranger Zach, bring me the map." Zach gave Liam the map. Liam looked at it. "You claim this is Lincoln's house, but I see Girl Jordan at the door. No badge!"

He removed a badge from Zach's vest.

"Hey Liam, can I be a Royal loser too?" Chandler was there on his bike, as he mocked Liam and Zach.

"Stop following us." Liam said annoyed.

"Hi Chandler." Jordan greeted.

"Oh, hey Jordan. Who's house is this?"

"It's Lincoln's."

"What are you doing at his place?"

"He's sick and I'm babysitting him while his family is out."

"No way!" Chandler said in disbelief. "Where is the little dork?"

Zach glared at Liam, since he was right about the house being Lincoln's. Liam smiled sheepishly.

Upstairs, Clyde was getting Lincoln's bubble bath ready in the bathroom. "Just a slight adjustment...and your bath awaits.

Charles and Cliff were there too.

"Get over it, Clyde." Lincoln said.

"But Lincoln, Jordon expects-"

"But nothing! I'm not getting in the bath." Lincoln sneezes again.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Ok, ok. I'll do it because I'm sick."

Then they heard Girl Jordan's voice. "I hope you're in that tub young man!"

"I changed my mind! I'm not getting in!"

"But she sounds annoyed." Clyde said. "Please Lincoln, get in the tub!"

"Nope." Lincoln refused.

"Excuse me, but is that a word? Lincoln, don't forget about the foundations of "courtship."

"I think you need a bath."

"But it's your date."

"At least I can get one."

Clyde gasped. "Touché. But I have two aces up my sleeve." Clyde snapped his fingers and Charles and Cliff went over to Lincoln. They stripped him naked and managed to get him into the bath. Clyde and the pets left to give Lincoln some privacy.

"I left your clothes on the counter." Clyde told him. "Good luck."

He closed the door and left.

"This is going just like how Lori said it would."

In the living room, Liam was presenting his block of chocolate as Girl Jordan and Chandler were on the couch.

"Look, learn, and be amazed, Chandler. Only in the Royal Rangers you'll learn the craft of chocolate sculpture."

He hits the block with a hammer, making the hard chocolate crumble and revealing a chocolate sculpture of a chicken.

"Behold, a chicken!"

"Impressive." Clyde commented.

"I'm gonna put on some tunes." Chandler said.

"I better go check on Lincoln." Girl Jordan said and went up the stairs.

"Oh no, she's skipping a chapter." Clyde said worried, as he looked over his dating book.

From the bathroom, Lincoln hears music playing downstairs. "Uh oh, mood music."

"Lincoln, how're you doing in there?" Girl Jordan said.

"Fine, fine. I'm okay!"

"Alright then." Jordan went back downstairs. Lincoln sighed in relief. "This bubble bath is relaxing. I'm starting to feel better."

Lincoln got another soap bottle and added some to the bubble bath, but it formed lots of green bubbles that began to rise up.

"What the-what kind of soap is this?" Lincoln read the label. "Lisa's explosive experiment soap?! Don't use without Lisa's permission."

The bubbles formed into a big bubble that was expanding in the bathroom. "Uh oh."

Outside, the roof was blown off the house when the bubble exploded. Then it landed back down. Inside the house, bubbles had flooded the living room. Everyone popped out of the bubbles, including Lincoln who was now in the living room. Luckily, he used some bubbles to cover his private area.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?"

"This is not cool!" Jordan snapped. "Bedtime now mister!"

"Bedtime?" Lincoln said confused.

"You have to do what I say. That's what your parents hired me for."

"Your parents hired you to date me?"

"Date? They hired me to babysit you, dude."

"Babysit?" Lincoln and Clyde said in unison.

"Dorky thought he had a date with Jordan!" Chandler laughed.

"Is my meemaw next?" Liam mocked and started laughing as well. Then Zach and Jordan laughed too.

Clyde gave Lincoln a towel. "Boy, Lincoln, I'd be so embarrassed."

Furious, Lincoln attacks Clyde.

* * *

Soon, the house was all rid of bubbles and the kids were partying downstairs. Except for Lincoln, who went to bed. He had corks in his ears to block out the music, but he could still hear the music. Downstairs, Liam had thrown away his chocolate chicken that go soap on it.

"What a waste of good chocolate."

Then Chandler looked at the time. "Hey, it's getting late. I gotta get home."

"Ok, bye Chandler." Girl Jordan said.

"I still can't believe Landon thought he had a date with you." He left laughing.

"Yeah, we should probably head home too Liam." Zach said.

"Good night Jordan." Liam waved and the two boy scouts left. Clyde and Jordan were left.

"Hey Jordan, can you not mention the whole date misunderstanding at school?" Clyde said. "Lincoln still might be ticked off about it."

"I won't mention it, but Chandler probably would."

"That's what I thought. Well, I better get going too."

Clyde went outside, but then sneezed. He felt sick all of a sudden. "Great. I think I caught Lincoln's cold."

His voice was nasally now. He went back inside. "Jordan, do you have any soup left?"


	33. Chapter 33: The Day The Loud Stood Still

**Here's a parody of the episode: The Day The Ed Stood Still. Consider this a Halloween related chapter.**

 **And thanks for whoever requested this**.

* * *

At the Louds, the young twins are playing "Medieval Times," a cosplaying game. Lola is the princess, of course. She's up in her fake tower, which is made out of cardboard.

"Ah, this is the life for a princess. Up in her tower without a care in the world. I just hope there are no monsters around."

Just then, Lana showed up dressed as a monster. "I am a monster. Hear me roar." Lana roared.

"Oh no, a monster! I didn't see that coming." Lola said sarcastically. "Somebody save me!"

Then Lincoln came in dressed as a knight. "Don't worry princess, the White Knight is here to rescue you!"

"My hero." Lola said happily.

Lincoln pointed his sword at Lana. "Surrender now monster and I might go easy on-"

Lana roared and tackled Lincoln. She pinned him to the ground.

"Uncle! Uncle!" Lincoln pleaded.

"My hero?" Lola said disappointed.

Then Lana charged at the tower and used her strength to knock it down.

"Lana!" Lola yelled as she fell down. Lana pounded her chest and roared.

"Why did you have to wreck my tower?" Lola asked angrily.

"Because that's what monsters do." Lana said. Lola attacked her twin in anger. "But Lola, I just wanted to be a monster!"

"I found Lana's impersonation of a monster to be impressive." Lincoln stated.

"What are you talking about?" Lola said as she had Lana in a headlock.

"Humor me. What if Lana really was a monster? Think about it. She could be like a zoo attraction and attract customers."

"That's-actually not a bad idea." Lola admitted. "Customers are practically suckers and they give you money. I like that."

"Yeah! Let's turn me into a monster." Lana said excitedly.

"But how do we do that?" Lola asked.

Lincoln thought. "Let's go to Lisa."

* * *

"So you want me to turn you into a monster?" Lisa questioned as Lincoln and the twins were in Lisa's room. They had explained their idea to her.

"Yes." Lana said.

"Oh please, you think I have some kind of formula that can turn people into monsters?

"Um-"

"Actually, I do." Lisa went over to her beakers and got one of them. "This formula should transform the specimen who drinks it into a certain kind of monster."

"Sweet! Can you use it on me?" Lana said.

"Absolutely not. It's not meant for human consumption. And drinking the whole thing could lead to disastrous results."

"I'll take the risks." Lana said, and she swiped the beaker from Lisa.

"Hey! Give that back!"

Lana ran out of the room, went downstairs, and then went into the garage. The other three siblings chased after her. They found Lana in the garage, about to drink the formula.

"Nooo!" Lisa yelled.

Lana drank the formula. The whole formula. Then she let out a huge burp. The others watched and saw that Lana's skin had turned green.

"Well, am I a monster now?"

"You're green so you could be a monster." Lincoln said.

"I just turned green? That's it?"

"Perhaps my experiment could use more work." Lisa took her beaker back. "Though I was pretty sure you would be hulking and terrifying."

"Someone get me a mirror." Lana said.

"I'll get one." Lincoln said. "You look kinda convincing, Lana."

He left the garage to get a mirror.

"You could've been born a monster, Lana." Lola commented. Then Lana started growling and she was foaming at the mouth.

"Hey, what's with you?" Lola said.

Then Lana started growing. She grew large and turned into a lizard like monster.

"Uh oh." Lisa panicked. She hid in a box.

"Lisa?!" Lola panicked.

Monster Lana had her eyes on Lola. "I AM A MONSTER!"

The six year old beast roared and attacked her twin sister, leaving a mess in the garage. Then it escaped through the garage door. Lincoln came back with a mirror.

"I'm back." Then Lincoln noticed the garage was a mess. "Whoa! What happened here? What did I miss?"

Lisa got out of the box.

Lola was beaten up. She got up, dazed. "Lana's an animal."

"Lana?"

"Who else?! That lunatic grew into a big monster and attacked me, then busted through the garage growling like a monster!"

"I warned her not to drink that formula." Lisa said.

"And she has an overactive imagination." Lincoln said.

"Why did you make that formula in the first place?" Lola scolded Lisa.

"I was for an experiment on insects." Lisa explained. "And you guys know my experiments are dangerous."

Then they heard roaring outside and Mr. Grouse's voice was heard too. "AHHHH!"

"Guys, it's Mr. Grouse!" Lincoln exclaimed.

The three Louds go over to their grouchy next door neighbor's place. They see his front yard has been damaged.

"Mr. Grouse?" Lincoln called.

"Oh dear." Lisa said worried.

Lola saw Mr. Grouse's broken car and laughed.

"This is worse than I thought." Lisa said. "That formula didn't just turn Lana into a monster, it made her behave like one too! She's even made off with Mr. Grouse!"

"Then we have to warn the neighbors!" Lincoln said.

"You go warn the others, I'll figure out a way to get our sibling unit back to normal." Lisa ran back to the Loud house.

Lincoln was about to head off but Lola covered his mouth with tape.

"Oh no you don't!" Lola said. "I'm gonna enjoy this."

They heard one of Lincoln's friends.

"Guys, I heard the sound over here!" It was Zach.

"Come on!" Lola dragged Lincoln with her. The two siblings hid behind a bush and saw Lincoln's friends walking through the neighborhood.

"Over here! It sounded like a monster!" Zach was leading Rusty, Stella, and Liam somewhere.

"Right. And I'm the king of Egypt." Rusty said sarcastically.

"And I'm the king of bacon." Liam added. The two boys laughed. From the bushes, Lola and Lincoln saw the kids to another street.

"I'm gonna make a buck off of this if it kills me." Lola said to Lincoln. She ran off and Lincoln tried to talk to her, but still had the tape over his mouth. Monster Lana is spying on the kids as they head into a forest.

"Zach, what exactly are you trying to show us?" Stella asked.

"It sounded like a monster." Zach said as he wandered off. Then he spotted a pack of gum. "Oooh, bubblegum! Jackpot!"

Lincoln and Lana went behind a tree as they saw Lana's monster tail wrapping around Zach, who was eating gum. Lincoln took the tape off his mouth, which hurt. "Ow. Zach!!"

The monster tail grabbed Zach as Lincoln tried to warn him. But it was too late. The monster took Zach away.

"Did you see that?" Lola laughed.

"What have we done?" Lincoln said worried. "Lana's actually become a monster!"

Liam, Rusty, and Stella heard the monster roar. Liam jumped onto Rusty in fear.

"What is this sound that almost made me wet myself?" Liam said frightened.

"I don't know man, so get off me!" Rusty said as Liam's hands were covering Rusty's eyes. Stella looked scared. Then she noticed someone drooling near her.

"Uh, guys?" They saw the monster.

"Check it out!" Rusty said in terror. The three kids ran away screaming. Lola and Lincoln watched this.

"Wow. Lana scared the pants off them!" Lola said amused.

The three fifth graders ran off. They ran into Rusty's house. Lola ran up to the house.

"Ahem." She started banging on the door, pretending to panic. "Help me! Don't let the monster eat me!" She giggled.

Lincoln shoved her aside. "Guys, that monster is actually one of my sisters! I'm sure she's just playing! She wouldn't hurt a fly! They're actually attracted to her!"

Inside the house, the front door was barricaded with furniture and other stuff.

"Take a hike Lincoln!" Rusty yelled. "It's every man for himself!"

"They didn't listen to a word I said." Lincoln said.

"I gotta see the look on their faces." Lola said smiling.

Inside, Lincoln's friends heard nothing for a moment. Then the monster's tail burst through the door, knocking away the stuff blocking the door. It took Rusty with its tail.

"Whoa." Rusty said before he was taken away.

"It took Rusty!" Stella panicked. Behind the house, the two Loud siblings were trying to get inside the house. Lola was on her brother's back, trying to open a window. She went over to another window and struggled to open it.

"What's with these stupid windows?!" Lola barked.

"Ahem." Lincoln just opened the back door and smiled smugly.

"I hate it when you do that." Lola said. Just then, Liam and Stella ran out in a panic and bumped into the two Louds, causing everyone to fall over.

"Who knew gullibility could be so painful?" Lincoln said in pain. Then monster Lana showed up, looking more terrifying.

"Nice entrance." Lola commented. Liam and Stella screamed in fear. Lincoln in a panic, thought for a moment, then got an idea.

"Excuse me Liam." Lincoln searched through Liam's pocket and pulled out a chicken. He showed it to the monster. The monster kept her eyes on the chicken and Lincoln threw the chicken in another direction. The monster went after it.

"Head for the hills, Gertrude!" Liam yelled to his chicken.

"Up there! Into that treehouse!" Lincoln pointed to a treehouse nearby. "Quickly! No time to explain!"

The four kids ran over to the treehouse. Stella climbed up first. Then Liam shoves Lincoln.

"Out of the way, oaf!" Liam climbed up the tree.

"Overwhelming fear is not an excuse for rudeness Liam." Lincoln said. Lola climbed up the ladder and Lincoln went up last. Once he got up, he closed the door. Monster Lana roared. Inside, the treehouse was pretty empty.

"Let's remain calm people." Lincoln told the others. "We'll be safe here."

"Are you sure, Lincoln?" Stella asked worryingly.

"She's in her own little world now!" Lincoln opened the door and they saw the monster crawling around the treehouse. "The best thing is to just ignore her."

"The beast circles around with hunger!" Liam panicked. "We must appease it with a sacrifice!"

Liam grabbed Stella and lifted her up.

"Put me down ya jerk!" Stella yelled.

"Hold it!" Lincoln yelled. "You can't play her game. You'll only encourage her bad behavior."

"So what? It's funny." Lola said.

"Let me go!" Stella punched Liam in the head and fell down.

"See?" Lola laughed.

"There's only one thing to do." Lincoln confirmed. "Someone has to go punish her. I'll go."

"Killjoy." Lola grumbled.

Stella was surprised. "Oh Lincoln, you're so brave. I'll never forget you." She hugged him and walked away sadly.

"...I want a hug." Lola said, feeling a bit jealous. Before anyone could say anything else, they felt the treehouse shake. Monster Lana was banging her head against the tree. After a few times, the boards fell apart and broke down as the four kids fell down. Liam rose up from the pile of boards, looking a bit injured. Lincoln came up as well.

"Liam, are you ok?" Lincoln asked, concerned.

"I'm good." Liam said as he got the dust off his shirt. Then the monster captured him in her mouth. Liam was terrified. "Tell mah family to remember their southern boy."

He was swallowed and the monster took Stella in its arm.

"Help!" Stella panicked. "It's messing up my hair!"

The monster dragged the Asian girl with her.

"I'm sorry, Stella!" Lincoln said. "She's just trying to be the best monster she can be!"

Lola got up, dazed and injured. "Hey, if you see any teeth lying around, they're mine." She fell back.

* * *

Monster Lana was carrying Stella back to the Loud house, and into the backyard. In the backyard, there was chewed up bubblegum all over.

"Where are you taking me?!" Stella said in fear. The monster lifted the girl up to her mouth. "Please don't eat me!"

The beast took some gum and chewed it, then blew a bubble that popped onto Stella, covering her in gum.

"This is so gross dude." Stella said disgusted. Monster Lana attached her to the tree which also had Mr. Grouse, Liam, Zach, and Rusty on it, covered in gum too. Lincoln and Lola witnessed this as they were at a corner of the house.

"Oh my gosh!" Lincoln exclaimed. "This reminds me of that sci fi movie I saw."

Lola laughed. "Lana stuck them to the tree with chewed up gum! She's too good!"

"I don't see what's humorous about this, Lola." Then Lincoln saw their monster sister coming their way. "Uh oh. Hide!"

Lincoln and Lola hide in a bush. The monster passes by them.

"What a twit." Lola laughed.

"Lola, come on." Lincoln said and went into the backyard. The trapped citizens were calling out for help.

"Ok, I'm sorry!" Lincoln said. "We'll get all of you down."

"What?" Lola said, dissatisfied.

"Come on Lola, enough is enough! Look at them!"

"Fine, we'll get them down...for fifty cents."

The citizens argued.

"Lola." Lincoln scolded. Then Lincoln and the neighbors noticed something huge behind Lola. Lola didn't notice at first.

"What? No skin off my bones." Lola held out a jar. "Who's up first?"

Then Lola noticed liquid pouring into her jar. She looked up and saw Monster Lana drooling. She roared and Lincoln pulled Lola away before the monster could get her.

"She wants to skin off my bones Lincoln!" Lola said, now scared stiff.

The monster was about to approach the two Louds.

"Hold it right there missy!" Lincoln scolded. "Haven't you caused enough trouble today?"

"Check it out." Rusty said. "Lincoln's yelling at it."

"It's all fun and games until someone gets suspended to a tree."

The monster roared. Lincoln and Lola cowered in fear. Then Lisa and the other sisters came out.

"Lana!" Lisa yelled. Monster Lana turned around and saw her sisters.

"Whoa. You literally turned Lana into a monster." Lori said surprised.

"Wicked." Lucy commented.

Monster Lana growled at Lisa.

"Easy girl, I've got something for you." Lisa brought a garbage bag full of trash. "A nice appetizing snack."

The creature smiled, taking the trash and eating it. Suddenly, Monster Lana started to glow and transform. She shrunk down and turned back into the normal six year Lana.

"Uhh...what happened?" Lana groaned, holding her head.

"The beast was Lana all along." Liam said surprised.

"Wow, Lana sure had us scared stiff." Zach commented.

"That girl's twisted, I swear." Rusty said.

"I'm never having gum again." Stella stated.

"What was in that garbage, Lisa?" Lincoln questioned.

"A formula that restores the specimen back to their normal selves. I know Lana eats out of the trash so I decided to pour the formula on it."

"Good thinking."

"Wait, was I a monster?" Lana asked as she was oblivious.

"Yep." Lola replied. "You terrorized the living heck out of everyone."

"Hey! Would you get us down from here already?" Mr. Grouse said as he got the Louds attention. The citizens complained as they were still stuck to the tree covered with gum.

"I did that too?" Lana asked.

"Yep." Lincoln said.

"Cool...I mean, uh, let's save those guys."

* * *

After the Loud kids managed to get the five citizens down, they were back inside the house. Lincoln, Lana, Lisa, and Lola were sitting in the living room. Lincoln was still worried.

"Guys, when Mom and Dad hear about we did, they're gonna flip!"

"Well, if they're punish someone, it should be Lisa." Lola said. "She's the one who created that monster formula."

"But you guys wanted me to turn Lana into a monster." Lisa pointed out.

"Speaking of monsters, what do you guys think of Boogerman?" Lana pretended to be that specific monster. "Let me pick your nose!"

"Eww, cut it out Lana." Lola said annoyed.

"Ok, how about The Bad Breath Beast?" Lana ate an onion, giving herself bad breath.

"I think we've lost her." Lisa said.

"Smell my breath!" Lana breathed on them.

"Stop Lana!" Lincoln, Lisa, and Lola shouted in unison.

"No wait, I'm the Couch Creature! Sleep on me!"

"LANA!!"

* * *

Happy Halloween!


	34. Chapter 34: Mirror Mirror on the Grande

**I'm finally back to doing Loud Loudd n Louder chapters. And man, it's been a while. My last chapter was posted in October, so it's been four months since I've made a chapter. Also, this is the first chapter of the year.**

 **This chapter is based on the episode: Mirror Mirror on the Ed.**

 **And this is the first chapter centered on Ronnie Anne and her family. So please enjoy and give me a review.**

* * *

At the apartment, Ronnie Anne, Bobby, and Carlota are in the living room watching an episode of _Adios, Ana, Adios._ The main character Ana, is fighting Mexican bandits.

"Man, Ana sure knows how to kick butt!" Bobby said.

"Yeah, but we've seen this episode so many times." Ronnie Anne said. "I'm actually starting to get sick of it."

"I'm with you, Ronnie Anne." Carlota said. "I thought we could do a family activity but everyone else is busy."

As of right now, Carlos had taken CJ and Carlino to a dentist appointment. Frida was touring an art museum. Carlitos was at a daycare. Maria was working. Hector was at a business meeting. And Rosa was cooking.

"Well, maybe we can play some kind of game." Bobby suggested.

Rosa came into the living room. "Ninos,

are the tamales too spicy?"

There was a plate of tamales on the table.

"No, they're fine Abuela." Ronnie Anne said. "But do you know a family game we could play? Something we haven't done recently?"

"Hmmm….how about verdad o reto?"

"You mean truth or dare?" Carlota asked.

"Exactly."

"Truth or dare? I love that game!" Ronnie Anne said excitedly.

"Yeah, I remember the last time we played." Bobby said.

We flashback to the last game of truth or dare with the whole family. Carlino spins a bottle and they wait for it to point at someone. Then the bottle stops at Carlos, meaning he has to pick truth or dare.

"It's my turn! Luck be a lady tonight!"

"Right. Truth or dare?"

"Hmm...dare me sucker!"

"Good choice, Carlos." Frida said.

"Cool." Carlino thought of a dare. "Let's see. I dare you to...skip your turn!"

"Dang it." Carlos said, bummed out.

We cut to another scene where CJ is roller skating backwards with a blindfold on. "Hey, I'm pretty good at this."

Then he crashes into the kitchen.

"I'm okay." He said weakly. Carlino laughed.

"I knew that was a bad dare, Carlino." Maria said.

A third scene has Sergio tied to Hector's face, which was a dare from Rosa. Rosa chuckles.

"I'm not enjoying this one bit, Rosa." Hector complained.

"This is no picnic for me either, bub." Sergio complained.

We go back to the present as Rose handed Bobby a bottle.

"Dares are more entertaining." Rose said.

"Totally." Bobby agreed.

"I'm gonna get back to cooking. You kids enjoy your game."

"Ok, let's get this game started." Carlota said.

"I'm a pro at this." Ronnie Anne said. Then Bobby spun himself on the floor and pointed the bottle at his sister.

"Ronnie Anne, truth or dare?"

"Ok, dare Bobby."

"I dare you to cluck like a chicken in your swimsuit while skateboarding through a car wash."

Carlota and Ronnie gave Bobby an awkward stare.

"Uh Bobby, try a more reasonable dare please." Carlota suggested.

"...Ok, then I dare Ronnie Anne to act like Carlota."

"Ronnie act like me? Why that's-"

"Stupid, Bobby!" Ronnie Anne objected. "You blew your chance to-"

"You know, Ronnie Anne, it could be quite entertaining. Why, I'd be flattered if you would mimic me."

"Let's see, where do I start?" Then Ronnie Anne spoke in a more girly voice. "Ooh, this dress is totally adorable! It'll go great with my boots.

"Good Carlota, Ronnie Anne." Bobby commented. Carlota chuckles. Then Ronnie Anne held out a pickle jar.

"Can someone help me? I can't open this pickle jar because I might break one of my precious fingernails."

Bobby laughs. Carlota was unamused by that. "Ha ha. Very funny Ronnie Anne."

She spun the bottle. "Can we continue playing?" She gasped when the bottle stopped at her.

"Oh no."

"Ha! I dare you to be Bobby."

"I guess I could. But only if Bobby will be Ronnie Anne."

"I can do Ronnie Anne." Bobby said. "I practiced."

Bobby cleared his throat before he spoke in a tomboyish tone. "What's up, lame-o's?"

"What do ya mean you practiced?" Ronnie Anne questioned.

"Hey Carlota, wanna arm wrestle?" Bobby said, mimicking Ronnie Anne.

"Please Bobby, you're invading my personal space." Ronnie Anne said, mimicking Carlota. She pushed Bobby down and laughed. Bobby and Carlota laughed too.

"Well…" Ronnie Anne said to Carlota.

"Do me, Carlota." Bobby insisted.

"We're waiting."

"Okay, very well. Let's see…" Carlota spoke in a boy's voice. "Hey babe, it's your Bobby Boo Boo Bear."

The kids laughed at this.

* * *

Mr. Nakamura is outside, walking his dog Nelson through the neighborhood.

"I hope the Mercado's open." Mr. Nakamura said to Nelson. "You really need some dog food, don't you, boy?"

Then Nelson got distracted by a squirrel who had a churro in its mouth. He growled at it.

"Easy boy, easy." Then Mr. Nakamura was dragged off by Nelson who chased the squirrel. His owner held onto his leash. The dog ran through some construction.

"Heel Nelson! Please!"

Then Nelson accidentally bumped into someone and he stopped. The person Nelson bumped into looked like Bobby.

"Oh Bobby, I'm sorry about that." Mr. Nakamura said. The teen turned around, but the teen wasn't Bobby. It was Carlota dressed like Bobby. She actually cut her hair short (with the help of Ronnie Anne) and it was now in the shape of Bobby's hairstyle.

"Oh, it's okay." Carlota said in a Bobby voice. "Can I help you with something?"

Mr. Nakamura stares blankly at Carlota. "Wait, you're not Bobby."

"Of course I am, Mr. Nakamura."

Then Ronnie Anne dressed as Carlota came over. She used mop strings as a longer ponytail. Ronnie Anne spoke in a Carlota voice. "Hi Mr. Nakamura, do you mind if I give you a makeover? I can also break your nails."

Ronnie held out some cosmetics. Mr. Nakamura looked confused.

"Spruce his nails, not break them." Carlota said in her normal voice. Then she changed her tone back into a male tone. "But how would I know? I'm a boy after all."

Then Mr. Nakamura noticed the real Bobby, dressed like his little sister. He had a little ponytail and was wearing her hoodie that was small for him, leaving his belly exposed. He attempted to do a trick on Ronnie Anne's skateboard, and fell off.

"Ow. How does Ronnie Anne do this?" Bobby said in his normal voice.

"Bobby, there you are." Mr. Nakamura said. "Look, I need you to open up the market so I can buy dog food for Nelson."

"What're you talking about? I'm Ronnie Anne." Bobby said, mimicking his sister. "Do I look like some guy who works at a market?"

Mr. Nakamura was losing his patience. "Alright, enough of this. Come on, open up the store."

He took Bobby's hand, dragging him to the store.

"Alright, alright." Bobby said in his normal voice. He unlocked the gate and they went inside the Mercado. Carlota and Ronnie Anne were left outside.

"Looks like Ronnie Anne is doing my job." Carlota said in a Bobby voice.

"Yep, it's just us." Ronnie Anne said in a Carlota voice. "Bobby, now that they're gone, let's make fun of Ronnie Anne behind her back."

"Like we always do?"

"Aha! I knew it!" Ronnie Anne said in her normal voice, pointing her finger at Carlota.

"I'm just kidding, Ronnie Anne." Carlota said in her normal voice before she spoke in her Bobby voice again. "But since I'm Bobby, I better go check on my little sister."

She went inside the market.

"Wait for me. It's hard to run in a dress." Ronnie Anne followed her cousin.

Bobby was at the counter. His phone buzzed as he got a text message from Lori. He read the message, breaking character.

" _Hey Boo Boo Bear, I need your decision. Do you think I should buy this turquoise dress with glitter or the diamond dress?"_

A picture of the two dresses were shown. A dress covered in glitter and a dress covered in diamonds.

"Aw, Babe wants my decision! What do I say?"

Bobby saw Carlota and Ronnie Anne standing next to him, and realized he broke character. He spoke in his Ronnie Anne voice. "Hey bro, your girlfriend just texted you."

He gave the phone to Carlota.

"Help me out here." He said in his normal voice. Carlota saw the dresses.

"Buy the diamond dress, babe." She said in her Bobby voice as she texted Lori. "It'll get you more attention."

Ronnie Anne spoke in her Carlota voice. "Aww, you're such a charmer Bobby."

They laughed. Mr. Nakamura was still looking for dog food. "Hey, can I get help over here Bobby?"

"Look alert, Bobby." Bobby said in his Ronnie Anne voice.

"Oh, right." Carlota spoke in her Bobby voice. "I'll help you, sir."

"You're not Bobby." Mr. Nakamura said, slightly annoyed. "You know what, I don't care. As long as you know where the dog food is."

Carlota led the man over. "This way sir. There should be dog food in the very back."

"Finally." Mr. Nakamura walked to the back with Nelson.

"Hey Carlota, looks like your decision was right." Bobby said in his normal voice. He had read a reply from Lori. "She decided to buy the diamond dress and said I was a real gentleman. You really are a fashion genius."

"You really think so?" Carlota said in her normal voice.

"Hey, I'm Carlota." Ronnie Anne said in her normal voice. "I'm the fashion genius."

Mr. Nakamura got a big bag of dog food.

"You like this, Nelson? All you can eat dog chow?"

Nelson barked happily. Ronnie Anne, Bobby, And Carlota continued to goof off. Ronnie Anne pulled out a hot dog and spoke as Carlota. "Oh Ronnie Anne, I got you a hot dog."

"Mmm, my favorite dog." Bobby said as Ronnie Anne.

"Not so fast. You love hot sauce on your hot dogs, don't you Ronnie Anne?"

Bobby gulped. "Oh, sure."

He poured the hot sauce and hesitated to take a bite, but he did. "...hey, that wasn't that bad." Then his face turned red and he burped fire. Ronnie Anne And Carlota laughed at this. Mr. Nakamura was at the counter.

"Excuse me?" He called. "Hello?"

Ronnie Anne And Carlota continued laughing as Bobby gulped down a bottle of water.

Mr. Nakamura sighs. "Ok, I'll just leave the money on the counter. See ya."

He leaves the store with Nelson. Bobby gives Ronnie Anne a noogie as revenge. Carlota laughs at this. Mr. Nakamura walks off with his dog. "I've never been so confused, Nelson."

* * *

Bobby, Carlota, and Ronnie Anne are at the park, still pretending to be each other. Carlota pretended to text Lori.

"I love you, best babe in the world."

"Aw, come on Carlota." Bobby said in his normal voice. "I don't text Lori all the time."

"Yeah, the rest of the time I think about her big hair." Carlota said in her Bobby voice.

"And sometimes I block people with my big butt." Ronnie said as Carlota. Carlota frowned, looking embarrassed. Ronnie Anne and Bobby burst out laughing. Ronnie Anne's friends Nikki, Sameer, and Casey came over, and noticed the Mexican kids with their clothes swapped.

"What the heck is going on here?" Casey questioned.

"Hey guys, can I give you any of you a facial makeover?" Ronnie Anne said as Carlota.

"Ronnie Anne, what are you guys doing?" Nikki asked.

"I'm Carlota, duh. Now how about a makeover?" Ronnie Anne gave Nikki a facial makeover.

"Hey!"

"What do you think?" Ronnie Anne held out a mirror and Nikki saw her face. She was shocked as she now looked like a clown. "I call it the Funny Look. Hilarious, huh?"

We cut to Nikki chasing Ronnie Anne.

"Can't you take a joke?" Ronnie Anne said in her normal voice.

"You're gonna get it, Ronnie Anne!"

Bobby And Carlota watched Nikki chase Ronnie Anne.

"Ronnie Anne's good, huh Carlota?" Bobby said in his normal voice.

Then someone called Bobby. "Oh Bobby!"

"Uh oh! It's that girl from my school who has a crush on me!" Bobby hid in a bush.

"Wait, who is she?" Carlota questioned. A dorky teenage girl with glasses and an overweight body walked up to Carlota, thinking she was Bobby.

"Bobby, there you are!" She took Carlota by the arm. "I need to show you something!"

"Wait, Bobby! Who is this?" Carlota yelled. Bobby watched his cousin get taken away and laughed.

"What a sap!" He said in Ronnie Anne's voice. Ronnie's best friend, Sid, walked over to Bobby.

"Hiya Bobby. Why are you dressed like your sister?"

"It's a dare, Sid." Bobby spoke in his Ronnie Anne voice. "So I'm the cool skateboarder now."

Sid laughed. "Been there, done that, Bobby. I mean "Ronnie Anne". Oh, I'll give you a dollar if you do a dare."

"Bring it on. I'll do anything for cash cause I'm awesome."

Carlota was dragged off with the nerdy looking teen. "Where are you taking me?"

"I want to show you my chewed up gum collection." The teen said, as they were at a bench. The girl peeled gum off from under the bench. "Check it out. I saved these just for you."

The dorky teen stared dreamily at Carlota and put the wad of chewed gum onto Carlota's hand. Carlota was disgusted.

"EWWWWWW!"

Downtown, Ronnie Anne hid in an alleyway and Nikki ran past her. "Phew, that was close."

Then Ronnie Anne noticed a bunch of eyes staring at her. There were street cats, and they seemed to have something against Ronnie Anne.

"Oh, um, nice kitties…" Ronnie Anne said in a Carlota voice. The cats hissed at the tomboy. Ronnie Anne screamed and ran for her life as the street cats chased after her. We go back to Sid as she's at the apartment with Bobby.

"Wow Bobby, I mean Sergio. You look ridiculous."

Bobby looked like Sergio, as he had fake feathers all over himself and a fake beak. He squawked and spoke in a sarcastic Sergio voice. "I'm Sergio, and I'm never sarcastic."

Sid laughed. She turned to Sergio, who was dressed up as Ronnie Anne. "And Ronnie Anne, you look like the coolest bird ever."

"SkaterBoid. Call my SkaterBoid." Sergio said as Ronnie Anne. "Later dorks."

Sergio rode off on Ronnie Anne's skateboard.

* * *

 **This was a pretty fun chapter to write. One of my favorites. I might do more Casagrande chapters sometime. Anyways, thanks for reading**


	35. Chapter 35: A Loud is Born

**A parody based on the episode: An Ed is Born**

 **One of my favorite episodes**

* * *

It starts with Liam crawling along the sidewalk, sniffing as he goes. He crawls onto Zach.

"Um, hey Liam." Zach greeted. "Whatcha doing there?"

"Quiet! Ah must brood!"

Liam continues to follow the trail. At the Loud house, Lana, Lincoln, Clyde, and a bunch of chickens are gathered in the living room. Lana has a hoop as she is training the chickens.

"Ok fellas, jump through the hoop! You there, upsy daisy!"

Lincoln and Clyde were on the couch watching.

"Lana, this is so wrong!" Clyde said worried. "Liam's sure to find out his chickens are missing!"

Then Liam kicked the door open. He sees Lana with his chickens and gets mad.

"Uhh...I think you have to go home now chickens!" Lana said.

Lincoln explains. "Please excuse my sister, she meant-"

Liam motioned for Lincoln to stop, then spoke pleasantly. "Let me understand this. Ah suppose disgracing me is okay to you. Walking off with mah chickens like a fine howdy do?"

"It was their idea, Liam." Lana said. "They wanted to be the best chickens they could be! Bless their little giblets."

"Is that so?" Liam became angry again. "You've crossed the haystack! Return the chickens or I'll release mah rage!"

"Okay, fine." Lana waves goodbye to the chickens. "That concludes our lessons for today, ladies. Ta ta! Same time tomorrow!"

The chickens leave with Liam.

"There will be no same time tomorrow." Liam said before leaving. Then Lori and Leni came over.

"Hey guys, what happened to those chickens?" Lori wondered.

"Those were Liam's chickens. He took them back." Lincoln explained.

"Oh Lincoln, you've got a stain on your shirt." Leni pointed out. "I'll get it off."

Leni wipes the stain off his shirt with a napkin. Lana and Clyde giggle at this.

"And you've got some schmutz on your shoe." Lori wipes dirt off his shoe. Lincoln feels a bit embarrassed.

"Aw, our baby brother is all clean now." Leni said. This made Clyde and Lana chuckle.

"Thanks guys, but I could've cleaned myself." Lincoln said.

"Yeah, but it's cute when we do it for you." Lori said.

"But I'm not a two year old." Lincoln said. "That's something you should do for Lily."

Lily glared at him. "Poo poo."

"No offense, Lily."

Then Luan, Lynn, and Luna showed up.

"Aw, is Stinkoln upset about being a baby brother?" Lynn teased.

"Dude, I remember how cute you were when you sucked on your pacifier." Luna said.

"And look what I found." Luan held out a baby rattle. Lana took it and shook it.

"That's not mine anymore!" Lincoln stated. "It's Lily's! And I'd appreciate it if you guys stop treating me like a baby!"

"Ok Linky, we'll stop." Leni said.

"But you're still our baby brother." Lori said. The older sisters chuckled as they left. Lincoln frowned and saw Clyde chuckling as well.

"What are you laughing at?"

"I'm sorry Lincoln, but don't you think it's amusing that your big sisters still think of you as their baby brother?"

"No! I hate being a baby brother!"

"Ok then."

Lana shook the baby rattle some more. "I like the sound of this."

Then Lincoln got an idea. "Hold it! I'll just show them how big I've gotten. I'm gonna need some stilts."

"Why don't you make a home movie or something?" Lana suggested.

"Lana, that's it! We'll make a home movie! Clyde, you're the cameraman!"

"But Lincoln, we don't have a-"

"I'll be the exec. producer, exec. director, exec. writer, and of course, the star."

"We can't shoot a movie without-"

"Can I be in your movie?" Lana asked.

"Sure. You can be...yourself. We'll show my big sisters that Lincoln's all grown up!"

"You're forgetting something, Lincoln. We need a-"

"Camera." Lana removed her hat to reveal a camera on her head.

"...Why was there a camera under your hat Lana?" Clyde questioned.

"I like to film animals."

Lincoln gave the camera to Clyde. "There you have it."

"Well we do have a camera."

"Let's make a movie!"

Clyde tried to work the camera. "Lana, do you have a manual for this?"

"Somewhere."

* * *

Clyde is recording. A chair is sitting in the backyard. There's bags of money surrounding it. Lincoln flies in out of nowhere, wearing a fake white mustache.

"Hey there, it's Lincoln Loud here. I'm growing up and livin' the life. Who would've thought huh? Check out the mustache."

"Ok, cut." Clyde said. "We'll need to get a close up, Lincoln."

"Um, how was that?"

Clyde has moved in close.

"This thing's giving me a rash." Lincoln said, referring to the mustache.

"Action!" Clyde said.

"Looks like I inherited Pop Pop's genes for the face fur, huh? And you know what?"

Clyde goes back to his first position with the camera.

"Now?" Lincoln said.

"Action."

"And you know what? I'm loaded. I just recently got a job at the comic book store and I'm investing: real estates, stocks, bonds. Heck, I might have enough money to buy the comic book store."

"Oh, come now Lincoln." Clyde said sarcastically. Clyde turns the camera on Lana, who's sticking dollar signs on trash bags to make them look like money bags.

"Boy, being rich really stinks." Lana commented and tossed another bag onto Lincoln's pile.

Lincoln turns the camera back to him. "What the heck are you doing?! Don't film that!"

"Sorry Lincoln, I got thrown off when you mentioned buying the comic store."

Then Lincoln's mustache fell off. "Cut, cut! How are my big sisters supposed to think I'm grown up when you guys keep-"

Lana shakes the baby rattle.

* * *

Lincoln, Clyde, and Lana are walking along the sidewalk. Clyde is recording.

"Action." Clyde said.

"Unlike myself, the old neighborhood's still the same. Hey girls, did I tell ya? I'm mayor now! Right, Lana?"

Lana sees the bully, Hawk, riding by on his bike. "Hey, isn't that the punk from Halloween?"

Lincoln sees the bully and stops at a fire hydrant. "See that loser? That's Hawk. He's the neighborhood dork."

Unbeknownst to the white haired boy, Hawk appears behind him.

"I have to slap him around every now and then, just to remind him who's boss."

"Lincoln…" Clyde warned.

Lincoln noticed Hawk.

"Neighborhood dork, huh?" Hawk wedgies Lincoln, pulling his underwear over the back of his bike. "Yo four eyes! You getting this?"

He rides off with Lincoln's underwear attached to his bike. Lincoln hangs onto the hydrant and tried to act cool. "He collects underwear and gives it to the poor. Pretty stupid, huh girls?"

The tension becomes too great, and he is pulled away from the hydrant. Poor Lincoln is being dragged. "SLOW DOWN, HAWK! I WAS JUST KIDDING! STOP! PLEASE!"

Lincoln's underwear snaps and he bounces on the road before landing in a heap.

"Look at him bounce!" Lana said.

Clyde runs over to his friend, worried. "Lincoln, are you alright?!"

Lana comes over and offers Lincoln the baby rattle. "Boy, Lincoln! You deserve a shake for that."

Lincoln takes the rattle from Lana and throws it on the ground. He leaps on it in an attempt to destroy it, but instead slips on it and falls over.

"I must say, if I was one of your older sisters, I'd be very impressed." Clyde said sarcastically. Lincoln glared at him.

* * *

The filming has moved to the park. Clyde searches for his actors. "Lincoln, where are you?"

"Over here, Spielberg."

Clyde films him. "There you are."

Then Lola, Lucy, and Lisa show up.

"Let's head to the swings next." Lucy said.

"Hey girls, remember the guy who used to own this playground? Well, it's mine now. Check this out."

"Move it, Lincoln." Lola said. "We wanna play on the swings."

"You know the drill. Cough up some dough, then swing."

Lola was outraged. "What'd you say?!"

"Ok, cut!" Clyde said. "Hold your positions please."

Clyde positions the two new additions to the cast. "Ready, now. Oh Lisa, a little closer if you will. And could I get big smiles for the cam-"

Lola punches the camera out of Clyde's hands. It falls on the ground and begins recording.

"Oh my." Clyde hurries to pick it up.

"Lincoln, get out of the way or else!"

"No use pleading for mercy, Lola. I'm gonna have to call my bodyguard." Lincoln calls for his dog. "Oh Charles!"

Charles runs over and starts growling.

"Charles only listens to his supreme leader. That's me. Charles, you know what to do."

Charles growled at the three girls. But they didn't look intimidated at all.

"I've got this." Lucy said. The goth hissed at the dog, scaring him away.

"Lincoln, give us a push on the swing or I'll tell Mom you borrowed her undies." Lola demanded.

Lincoln got worried. "Ok, we don't need to tell Mom about that."

Lincoln up Lola, Lisa, and Lucy on seperate swings. "There you go, baby sisters. Swing to your heart's content."

"Me too, Lincoln." Lana said. Lincoln sighed and put Lana on a swing too.

"Okay, people! A big smile for your older sisters!" Clyde requested. The younger sisters, pleased, complies with the director's request.

* * *

The three kids are on the street again. Lincoln and Clyde are on the sidewalk, despondently trying to think of something that will save the movie. Lana is playing with the camcorder.

"Hello, my name is Lana." She licks the camera.

"Running out of ideas, Clyde." Lincoln said. "Think of something that'll make me look good."

Clyde sees Lana with the camera. "Lana, you be careful with that! Oh, why do I care? It's her camera."

Lana pretends to be a famous actor. "Here's an autograph for my fans." She picks her nose and puts a booger on the camera's lens.

"Lana, what do you think you're doing?" Clyde took the camera from her. "Don't put your booger on the camera!"

He wipes it off with a tissue. "Gross."

"Boy, I can't wait to see that part, Clyde." Lana said.

"Yeah, well let's not and say we did."

"Come on, come on!" Lincoln got their attention. "I've got an impression to make here, remember?"

Then they hear Girl Jordan humming. They look across the street and see her painting her nails.

"Oh my." Clyde said.

"Oh look, it's my girlfriend." Lincoln said, sweating nervously at the camera. "Painting her nails for me. I think I'll go give her the pleasure of my company."

Lincoln approaches her gingerly. He sits on the curb a few feet away and slowly eases himself over to her side. He tries to put her arm around her; at this point, Jordan notices him and knocks him into a fire hydrant, causing the water to spill out. Jordan notices the camera.

"Umm...Clyde, are you guys, like, making a movie or something?"

"Um, kinda…" Clyde said. Lana focuses the camera on her soaking brother.

"Not to worry, girls. I'll just dry him off."

Then Rusty appears out of nowhere and snatches the camera. "Hey buddy, whatcha got there? Is that a video camera?"

Rusty turns the camera to himself and gives a smile.

"Rusty, do you mind?" Clyde said. "We're trying to make a movie."

"Back off." Rusty continues to hog the spotlight. Lincoln leaps at him.

"Rusty! Give it back!" Lincoln tackles him. Clyde gets the camera back. We see Lana chasing Rusty away like a mad dog. Rusty screams as Lana bites him. "Get her off!"

"I taught Lana how to scare intruders away." Lincoln said, talking to the camera. "Aren't I a good big brother?"

He looks at his sister. "Give him the ninja attack, Lana!"

Lincoln uses the baby rattle as a nunchuck as he acts like a ninja, but accidentally throws the rattle away. It comes down offscreen, hitting his gym teacher, who was walking by.

"Ow! HEY!" He shakes his fist angrily. We cut to Lincoln, Lana, and Clyde running away from Coach Pacowski. The camera catches only the kids pounding feet and the coach chasing them with a baseball bat.

"Come back here!"

"RUN AWAY!"

* * *

The two Loud siblings and Clyde have moved to the woods.

"No backs to the camera please; it's rude, you know." Clyde said.

"Just roll." Lincoln talks to the camera. "Remember this place, girls? Probably not. It's the creepy part of the woods. All the kids are too chicken to come here. Even Lucy."

Lana is shown looking around, scared. She clutches the rattle for protection.

"See? What'd I tell ya? But not me."

"Show yourself, mutant Bigfoot!" Lana bangs on a wrecked car with the rattle.

"Yeah, um...Lana thinks Bigfoot exists. You know how little kids are with their imaginations. Moving right along."

Clyde turns the camera to Lincoln, who's in front of a cave.

"Check out this cave I found. You bet I'm not brave enough to go in, huh? But I will."

Clyde hesitates, but follows his friend inside. Clyde cuts the camera. He starts again seconds later from another angle.

"What?" Lincoln said.

"Go on."

The inside of the cave is shown to be glittery.

"Look how beautiful this place is." Lincoln said amazed. "It's pretty-"

Clyde cuts the camera again. He moves to a different angle.

"-the glitter shines-"

"Look natural; stay with me." Clyde said. He cuts again, new angle. Lincoln is standing by some crystals.

"-uhh, I found these crystals-"

Clyde cuts the camera again and goes back to his original angle.

"-for all to enjoy."

"I'm creating dynamics, Lincoln."

"Don't get artsy on me, Clyde."

Lincoln goes further into the cave, but Clyde notices a bunch of bats hanging on the ceiling. He and Lana back away in fear.

"What are you doing?" Lincoln asked.

"Ba-ba-ba-BATS!" Clyde yelled.

"Above you, Lincoln!" Lana pointed out.

Lincoln looked up as the bats hissed at them. He screamed.

"RUN AWAY!" The kids run away and Clyde films as he runs. He turns around to get a shot of the bats. Then he tucks the camera under his arm so he can run better. The kids running feet are shown again.

"HELP!" Lincoln yelled and screamed.

* * *

The filming has moved to the Loud house garage. Lincoln lays back in a sun lounge chair, looking every bit the emperor, while his friends mill about in his room.

"Hiya, girls! So anyway, here I am, all nice and safe in my cozy bachelor pad where all the kids show up to get my autograph. Yep, I'm that big."

A bunch of kids walk around. For some reason, they seem oddly two dimensional.

"Look, it's Chandler. The usual spot there, dork?" Lincoln signs his name, then speaks for Chandler, affecting an unnatural tone. "Sweet, Lincoln! You're cool, man."

Clyde is sure the charade won't fool anyone. "Oh, please."

"And there's Zach. Sign your shirt there, pal?" Lincoln signs it. At this point, Lana comes by, sprinkling cereal on the ground.

"They're hungry again, Lincoln."

"So feed them over there!" Lincoln said through gritted teeth. Liam is shown entering the garage, somehow. He sniffs the floor, following a trail.

"So older sisters, as you can see, I'm a big shot now. No more picking on little Lincoln, eh?"

Liam stands beside Lincoln, waiting for the white haired boy to notice him.

"Lincoln! Liam!" Clyde alerted.

"Liam? Did I forget to sign him? There ya go, man." Lincoln signs the farm boy's face. Liam looks miffed, but then becomes enraged.

"YOU VANDALIZED MAH FACE, AND YOU HAVE-"

A duplicate of Liam walks by. Liam picks it up, revealing it to be a cardboard statue carried by a chicken.

"-AND YOU HAVE STOLEN MAH CHICKENS YET AGAIN!" Liam sees Clyde filming. "Are you stealing mah soul with your film box?!"

"Why of course not, Liam." Clyde said nervously. "What gave you that impression?"

"I will release my rage now!"

"Wait, we can work this out!" Lincoln said.

Punching sounds are heard and Lincoln is thrown into a wall, destroying some of the cardboard kids as he smashes through them. The chickens run amuck.

"Return mah chickens!" Liam yelled. Lana runs off yelling.

"RETURN THEM!"

Liam storms towards the two Loud siblings. Meanwhile, the chickens go berserk and one of them flies towards Clyde.

"Shoo! Go away! Don't touch me!" Clyde gets knocked over, and the camera falls to the floor. The rest of the scene is filmed from this angle.

"Mommy!" Lincoln yelled.

"I think your sisters' got the picture, Lincoln." Clyde said, as those were his final words to the camera. Lincoln screamed. The camera's batteries die and the camera shuts off, effectively ending the movie.


	36. Chapter 36: Who, What, Where, Loud

**This parody is actually written by Gold Cartoonist. I decided to post it as a chapter of Loud, Loudd, n Louder. Yes, this is a parody of Who, What, Where, Ed. Enjoy.**

* * *

The story begins with Lincoln and Clyde in the kitchen making something. While Leni is busy playing with a yo-yo. "Now I know why you like these things so much, Linky. They're so much fun."

"Yeah they sure are Leni. But would you mind keeping it out of the way? We're kinda busy."

"Sure thing."

"Thanks for coming over to help Clyde. You haven't lived until you've tried one of my omelettes."

"No problem buddy. All we need are eggs."

"I'll get them Linky!" Leni tries to put the yo-yo aside, but her legs get all tangled up in the string. She tries to get a carton of eggs from the fridge, but suddenly she tripped and lets go. The carton flies into the air and falls on the floor, which makes the eggs in it break. "Oops. Sorry Linky."

Lincoln tried to hold in his frustration. "That's…..Okay. Just….please get a broom to clean this up."

As Leni leaves, Lincoln's about to blow his top, but Clyde stops him. "Breathe. Just breathe." Lincoln takes a deep breath and his anger dies down a bit. "There. Feel better?"

"A little. Thanks. I needed that."

"Well, that does it," Clyde said. "No eggs, no omelette, Lincoln."

"Great! Now what are we supposed to do? Mom and Dad don't have enough time or money for more eggs. Why if we had a chicken, we could…..wait a minute! That's it!"

"What's it?"

"We'll get ourselves a chicken! Then we could have as many eggs as we need and we wouldn't even have to pay!"

"That's a great idea! But where are we gonna get a chicken?"

"I think I know just the person we can get one from."

The kids are over at Liam's barn. "You fellers want to do what?" The young farm boy asked.

"We were wondering if we can borrow one of your chickens," Lincoln answered.

"But why?"

"You see," Clyde explains. "We were making omelettes, and there was an accident and we ran out of eggs. So we're trying to get a chicken to get more."

"Sorry fellas, but I'm afraid I can't give you any chickens." The two boys hung their heads in disappointment. "But I can give you something even better." Liam then takes out a single egg and holds it up.

"That's it? Just one measly egg?"

"Not just an egg, Lincoln. From this egg, you can hatch your own fowl."

"I don't get it?" Leni questions. "How will this one get us more eggs?"

"Don't you get it, Leni?" Lincoln tells her. "The chicken is inside the egg. Chickens don't just lay eggs, they come from eggs."

"However," Liam interrupted, "there is one favor I need to ask you."

"What is it? We'll do anything!"

"To get the egg, you must trade it for some sawdust. Don't ask why I need it. It's complicated."

"And just where are we supposed to get sawdust?"

"That's for you to figure out. If you can bring me some sawdust, then you can have the egg. Deal?"

"Deal," Lincoln said rather reluctantly.

Clyde, Leni and Lincoln then leave. "How in the world are we supposed to get sawdust for Liam?" Lincoln asked. "We don't even know who has any to give us."

"I do," Clyde said. "But there's a slight chance you might not like it."

The kids then arrive at Chandler's house. Lincoln is apparently not happy about it. "I don't like this!"

"Told you."

"Why do we have to be here?"

"Because Chandler is the only one who has more sawdust to do with."

"Aren't you forgetting how he treated us? He used me to get free stuff."

"I know, but what choice do we have? All we have to do is get the sawdust and that's it."

"Fine. But I'm still not happy about this."

Chandler is in the backyard taking care of a trash can full of sawdust by lugging it out of the shed. "Sawdust stinks! Doing chores stinks!" He grumbled.

"Hey Chandler." Lincoln and the others are seen standing behind.

"What do you want, Larry? I'm kinda busy here."

"First off, my name is Lincoln. And second, we're here to help you out. I mean, we couldn't help but notice that's a lot of sawdust you have, so we would love to save you the trouble of getting rid of it yourself by having us dispose of it for you. If that's cool?" Lincoln nervously awaits an answer.

"Alright, fine. You guys can have it."

"Yes!"

"I'll trade you for….painting my shed."

"What!? Forget it! You can paint your own shed!"

"Alright, fine. I'll just take this sawdust and…."

"No wait! We'll do it! So….where's the paint?"

"What paint?"

"How are we supposed to paint a shed with no paint?"

"You figure it out, Loud." Chandler walks off, leaving Lincoln feeling pretty annoyed.

"You know," Leni suggested. "I think Luan might have some paints at home we can use."

"Let's go see," Clyde says.

Back at the Loud house, Luan is busy painting a mural. She then turns around and sees the trio in the doorway.

"Hey Luan." They greet.

"Hey guys. And Lincoln, if you're here to ask me about my next party gig, you don't have to. Because in case you've forgotten, it's your day off."

"It's not that Luan. You see, we were wondering if we could borrow your paints?"

"Sorry little bro. But I need these. This mural isn't gonna paint itself, you know."

Lincoln groaned. "Let me try." Clyde steps forward. "Pardon me, Luan. If it's not too much trouble, perhaps we could interest you in a trade?"

"A trade? Hmm…..okay. I'll trade you my paints, for clams."

"Clams?!" Lincoln says. "Where are we supposed to get clams?"

"Not my problem. No clams, no paint."

The three kids are running from door to door asking the same question. "Can you spare some clams?"

"Pardon me, you wouldn't happen to have any clams, would you?

"Say, you haven't seen any clams around here, have you?"

"Could we borrow a cup of clams?"

"Can Lincoln come out and play?" Leni asked.

"I'm right next to you Leni," Lincoln answered.

"Hi Linky!"

Suddenly, they heard a noise coming from the sewer. A manhole cover is pushed aside and Lana comes out with her pet frog, Hops and a bucket of clams. "Boy, Hops. You sure are hard to beat when it comes to gathering clams."

"Clams?" Clyde asked.

"Is that Lana?" Leni said as she and the others ran towards the young tomboy."

"How convenient, yet ironic," Lincoln said rather dumbfounded. "Hey Lana!"

"Oh, hey guys!" She greets. "Whatcha up to?"

"Oh not much. Listen, we need to borrow your clams for a little while."

Lana looks a little surprised, but then starts to laugh hysterically, but then stops laughing as soon as she realized that Lincoln's not joking. "Oh, you're serious. Well…. I don't know if I can let you borrow it, but if you can find something to trade for, then you're welcome to have it."

"Aaugh! Another trade?! Fine! What do you want?"

"We want an anchor."

"An anchor?! Forget it! I'm out of here!" Lincoln is about to take off, but Clyde stopped him.

"Lincoln! Calm down! You wanna get that egg, don't you? If we give Lana what she wants, then we can complete the trade. What do you say, buddy?"

Lincoln starts to calm down a bit and then thinks for a minute. "Alright. But if this trade charade keeps going on, I'm gonna go crazy!"

Just then, there's a mysterious visitor at a nearby house. The door opens and the people who answered it are revealed to ba Hawk and Hank. And the mysterious visitor appears to be the trio standing on top of each other in a trench coat, with Lincoln being on top. "Hello?"

"Yes hello?" The 'tall man' says in a deep voice. "We're doing a survey, and….oh, I mean uh….. I'm doing a survey and….."

"No one's interested. Come back later." Hank said.

"Oh, of course. But I was just wondering, how many anchors do you own?"

"Say, don't I know you from somewhere?"

"No…..why would you say that?"

"You look awfully familiar. And you're kinda shrimpy for such a 'tall' man."

"Well that's because I….."

Just then, Leni pops her head out of the coat. "I'm the legs." Just then the whole costume collapsed.

"Well, we're exposed," Clyde lamented."

"Hey! It's those twerps who tricked us on Halloween! Let's get them!"

The three kids get scared and run away as Hawk and Hank chase after them. After a while, they managed to get away.

In the park, Lana is seen on a swing with Hops. "Ah, listen to the clams gurgle in the bucket, Hops."

"Here's you're anchor, Lana." Lincoln hands his little sister a rope tied to a big rock. "I'd love to stay and chat but we really have to get going!"

Lincoln takes the bucket of clams and tries to rush off with it, but Lana pulls him back with a lasso tied to his foot. "Nice try bro, but I'm not buying it. Just because I'm 6 doesn't mean I'm an idiot."

"Alright! Alright! We couldn't get an anchor," Lincoln admitted. "But could we at least trade for something else?"

Hops whispers into Lana's ear and Lana answered her brother's question. "Okay, Hops wants to trade."

Later, Lynn is seen playing badminton with Margo. Just then, Lincoln, Leni and Clyde approach her. "Hey Lynn," her brother greeted. "How's it going?"

"What is it, Stinkin'?" The young athlete replied. "I'm kinda in the middle of something here."

"Okay, one: please stop calling me that, and two: we need to borrow your racquet for a while."

"And just what exactly do you need my racquet for?"

"We need it to trade for a chicken, please?" Leni begged.

"Okay. I'll trade you for a giant teddy bear."

"When will it end?" Lincoln asked exasperated.

Leni drags the two boys away. "Let's go ask Lola."

Lola is in her room having one of her tea parties when she hears a knock at the door. She goes up to it and looks through the peephole. "What do you want?"

She sees that Lincoln, Leni and Clyde are right in front of her door. "Giant teddy bear?"

"Plums."

Lincoln's about to lose his mind but then takes a breath to ease his frustration. "What is going on today?!"

"Plums are good for you Lincoln." Clyde said as they leave.

The kids are once again back at Liam's who is seen picking plums from a tree. "So, you fellas are back here wanting plums this time? Do you not want the egg?"

"Yes! We want the egg!" Lincoln said exasperated. "But we need these plums first!"

"Ah! No plums! I'm still waiting for the sawdust! I weren't born yesterday."

"Alright. I guess there's only one thing left to do. How about we trade?"

"And what could you possibly have that I'd want to trade for?"

Lincoln reached into his pocket and pulls out a comb. "Well I've got my lucky hair comb. Will that do?"

"I've already got plenty of those, thank you. Got anything else?"

"I could give you one of Lana's baseball caps."

"I've got a whole box full of baseball caps."

"How about some spandex?"

"Nah! Too tight."

"Hairbrush?"

"Got one."

"Well what about…" Lincoln pulls out an abacus. "...whatever this is?"

"That's an abacus Lincoln," Clyde corrected.

"I've got a yo-yo," Leni interrupted.

"It's over Clyde," Lincoln lamented. "No egg, no chicken, no omelette."

Just then they hear laughing and see Leni showing Liam the yo-yo and having fun with it. "You know, I'm not sure what it is about these things, but they sure are amusing."

Lincoln sees this as an opportunity. "So Liam, think we could work something out after all?"

"I guess so. Tell you what, I'll give you the plums you need to complete the trade, but only if I get to keep the yo-yo."

"Deal!"

The kids then go from place to place trading the plums for the bear, the bear for the racquet, the racquet for the clams, the clams for the paint, the paint for the sawdust and finally take the sawdust back to the barn. "Here you go Liam. We got your sawdust as promised."

"Well, looks like the trade is complete. Alright fellers, a deal is a deal. Here you go." Liam hands over the egg."

"Yes! Finally!"

"You know if you need help building an incubator," Clyde offered. "I'm here for you buddy."

"Oooh! Let me see it!" Leni takes the egg and holds it.

Lincoln panics. "Leni, wait!"

"Aw, so tiny. You must be cramped in there. Fly, chicken, fly!" Leni opens the eggshell, which in turn makes a mess. "Guys, I think the chicken's gone bad."

Lincoln, having officially had it, fell backwards with his eyes closed and fainted. Leni looks concerned.

"Don't worry," Clyde reassured. "He'll be fine in about 3 hours. Or within the next story," he whispered to the audience. "Whichever comes first."


	37. Chapter 37: Who Let The Loud In?

**A** **parody of the episode: Who Let the Ed In**

* * *

In the garage, Lana is repairing Lola's princess car as Lola is relaxing in a chair.

"So Lana, is the car almost ready?"

"Yep. It just needs a few more tweaks."

"Great. My car has to be in top condition for the big Royal Race."

Lisa entered the garage, wheeling in the engine. "Here's the turbo engine, Lola."

"It's ready?"

"I fail to see the correlation between ready and complete, Lola."

"Don't get your socks in a knot, Miss Perfecto. Lana, check out the engine…Lana? Lana!"

Lana has left the garage.

"Now where'd she go?"

Lana is seen in the front yard, apparently playing with herself. She pulls out a plunger and uses it as a sword on an imaginary opponent. "Take this! Ya! And that! And that! Think again, zombie mind muncher from Mucus Mansion!"

Lana retreats and rolls into the bushes, very acrobatically. She pops her head out. "Do not try to escape, mutant, as I am too good for you!" She pretends to get hit. "Oh, you're sneaky."

Lisa giggles at Lana's behavior.

"Prepare to meet your maker! Oh, my brain has been munched!" Lana performs a death scene.

"No snappy comeback Lola." Lisa said.

"Too easy." Lola replied. "Lana, what are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh." Lana gets up. "I was sword fighting with my friend, Libby."

The tomboy puts her arm around the air. Libby is apparently imaginary. Lana brings Libby over to her siblings. "Libby, these are my sisters, Lola and Lisa."

Lola and Lisa stand confused.

"Who are you talking to?" Lola asked.

Lana turns to Libby. "Ah, what's that?" There's a pause. "Libby said you're blind as a bat, Lola."

Lisa giggles. "Don't you see Lola? Libby!" She elbows Lola. Lola catches on.

"Okay, sure...Libby!" She and Lisa burst out laughing. Lisa pretends to shake hands with Libby. "Pleased to meet you, Libby."

"You look like a pretty...Libby. How about a princess makeover?" Lola holds out her beauty products, then falls backwards and laughs.

"Libby wants to show you something." Lana said.

"But my eyes are straining already!" Lola laughs. Lisa looks perturbed.

"Do you think Lana really believes there's someone there?"

"Nah, Lana's pulling our leg."

Lana comes back with a wheeled desk chair. "This is Libby's favorite game. Libby says sit."

"Libby's pretty bossy." Lola shoves Lisa onto the chair. "You heard her, Lisa."

"Um, Lana?" Lisa said unsure. Lana spins the chair incredibly fast.

"Sassafras!"

Lisa screams "WOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" as she spins. Lana suddenly stops the chair and Lisa stumbles.

"I'm dizzy and nauseous!"

Lola laughs. "What a riot!"

"Libby's such a hoot, huh Lola?"

Lisa falls down. Lucy appears, with her pet bat, Fangs.

"Guys?"

The others become startled by Lucy.

"What's going on here?"

Lola puts her arm around empty space. "We're just playing with Libby. Lana's new friend."

"And where is this Libby? Is she a ghost? That would be so cool, wouldn't it Fangs?"

"Libby loves bats too." Lana said.

"Tell me the ways of Libby. I'm confused."

Lola puts Lucy in the chair. "Libby says sit." She spins and stops the chair, sending Lucy flying. "Get it?"

"Inform me of Libby." Lucy said, as her voice was still monotonous. She flew through the roof.

"Ok, your turn Libby! Alley-oop!" Lana spins an empty chair. "Whoa! Look at Libby, guys!" She laughs. "Libby's throwing up! I'm in stitches! Aw, come here brave soldier."

She shakes hands with Libby.

"Alright, enough fooling around." Lola said. "Back at work!"

"That was fun, Lana." Lisa said, amused. Then Lola gets hit in the head with a wrench.

"Ow! What the heck, Lana?"

"It wasn't me! Um, Libby says work is for losers."

"Oh, so Libby thinks she's too cool for work, huh? Ok Libby, what then?"

"Libby says she wants to play tag! You're it, Lola!" Lana hits Lola in the face. She runs as Lola chases her around the lawn.

"Run, Libby! Lola's trying to tag you!"

"Come here, you!" Lola yelled angrily. "Let me get my hands on you! Why you!"

"Look at me! Boy, I'm good!"

"Lana!"

"Run Libby!"

Lincoln comes over and sees the twins running around.

"Lincoln, do you know anything about Lana's ludicrous behavior?"

"Well, I think this might have something to do with it." Lincoln shows Lisa a comic book. She read the title.

"The Nobody Hero?"

Lola slumps to the ground, next to Lincoln, totally exhausted.

"What's up with that girl?"

"It's this comic, Lola." Lincoln explained. "Lana recently read it. It's about an imaginary superhero created by some kid. Apparently Lana wanted to have her own imaginary friend and this comic inspired her to make one up."

"I told you comics were poison for the brain." Lisa stated. "I suggest re-education, through classic novels, with weekly cerebrum massages."

"In your dreams." Lola stomps off.

* * *

Lana is seen playing a game on a sheet of paper. He draws something on it, then holds it up, revealing she was playing tic tac toe with Libby.

"Wow Libby, you're good at this."

Lola watches this from the garage as Lisa is installing the engine to Lola's princess car. "Look at her, playing by herself like an idiot."

A shoe hits her on the head.

"It was Libby!" Lana yelled out. Lisa was finished with the car.

"Well, with distractions and all, it's complete, Lola."

"Yes! Back to reality!" Lola and Lisa get in the vehicle. "We're gonna win that race for sure! And here come my friends!"

Lola's friends, Winston and Roxanne showed up in their own toy cars.

"Hey Lola!" Winston greeted.

"Are you ready to lose this race?" Roxanne said.

"You'll be the one losing." Lola assures. Then Lana came over.

"Hey guys! Meet my new friend, Libby. Libby, that's Roxanne and Winston."

"Uh, are you okay, Lola?" Winston asked with concern.

"She made an imaginary friend." Lola said in an annoyed tone.

"Libby made presents for you guys."

"Presents?" Winston and Roxanne were given small gift boxes. They opened them.

"Wow! A free ticket to Dairyland!" Roxanne exclaimed. "Thank you Libby!"

"Yeah, that's really nice of you Libby!" Winston commented. Winston and Roxanne rode off.

"Let's go right now!" Roxanne said.

"Wait, guys! What about the race?" Lola called.

"Oh, um, we can race another time." Winston said.

"Libby would also love to hang out with you guys another time." Lana said.

"Sounds great. We'll do whatever Libby wants." Winston and Roxanne drove off in their toy cars.

"I hate Libby." Lola muttered.

"What's going on out here, dudes?" Luna asked as she, Lori, Leni, Lynn, and Lily came over.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my friend, Libby." Lana said. "Libby, these are my other sisters, Luna, Leni, Lori, Lily, and Lynn. That's right, I have a big family."

"Lana, you're scaring me." Lori said with concern

"Libby made presents."

"Ooh, presents?" The other siblings were excited as they got their presents.

"Cool." Lynn said.

"Libby, you're rockin!" Luna said.

"I like you Libby." Leni said.

"You're literally great Libby." Lori said.

The sisters walked off with their presents.

"Libby made a present for you too, Lola." Lana said.

"Really? Maybe Libby isn't so bad after all." Lola received her present and opened it. A pie sprung into Lola's face.

Lana laughed. "Libby, you sly prankster!"

Lola fumed. "Lana!"

Lana ran off as her angry twin chased after her. "Look out Libby! Lola's gonna get you!"

* * *

Lisa and Lola are sitting on the front porch, eating ice cream.

"I feel concerned about accomplishing anything with Libby around." Lisa said. "I'm at quite a quandary."

"Forget your laundry." Lola said. She angrily threw her ice cream away. "I hate Libby!"

She kicked a dodgeball at a tree, but it richoted back at her, hitting her in the face. Angered, she starts fighting with the tree to show her frustration. She finishes it off and leaves, but comes back to kick it. She hurts her foot and makes noises of pain.

"We need expert advice." Lisa informed her.

"Expert, huh? I think I know just the expert. Let's go."

Luan is in the living room, watching tv with her dummy Mr. Coconuts. Lisa and Lola enter the house.

"Greetings four eldest sibling. We seem to be at an impasse, and we wish to solicit your expert advice."

"Um, what?"

"Lana has an imaginary friend. Can you help us?"

"Oh, you mean Libby? She's hilarious! I can see her as a comedian but I can't see her at all." Luan laughs.

"Very funny." Lola deadpanned. "But since Mr. Coconuts is also an imaginary friend, we thought you could help us with our Libby problem."

Luan voices Mr. Coconuts. "Hey missy, who are you calling imaginary?"

"It's ok, Coconuts." Luan said. "I know you're not imaginary."

"This is our expert?" Lola said to Lisa.

Luan voices Mr. Coconuts. "Well, if you want to capture an imaginary friend, you should make an imaginary trap."

Lola gets it. "Makes sense to me! Lisa, draw up the invisible plans!"

"With invisible ink?" Lisa giggles. "This is becoming contagious."

* * *

Lana is playing in the mud with Libby, making mud angels. "Nice mud angel, Libby."

Lisa is seen in the front yard, pretending to use tools to build something. Lola looks on.

"Just a few unseen adjustments…"

"So, huh well?"

"A covert twist here…" Lisa makes the adjustment. "It's ready, Lola."

"Finally." Lola calls for Libby. "Oh Libby! Libby, we've got a present for you!"

Lana waves to Libby, who was headed over to join the other two. The trap is heard being set off. Lola and Lisa are behind a bush.

"Sucker in the trap! Ha!"

Lola jumps over and grabs the imaginary friend. "Thought you could outsmart us, huh Libby?"

But the tables are turned as Lola gets flipped over. "What the-! Uh...Libby?"

Lola is confused about what to do. She then suddenly receives two punches in the face and one in the stomach. Libby then apparently holds Lola over her head and spins her before tossing her to the ground.

"Lana, do something!" Lisa told her. "Lola hasn't got a chance!"

Lana shakes the mud off herself like a dog. She was unconcerned. "Aw, Libby's just playing."

Libby continues to pummel Lola. Meanwhile, the other Loud siblings arrive and see Lola "acting strange."

"Hey, what's with Lola?" Lynn asked.

"Lola's playing with Libby." Lana said.

Lola was being dragged around. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! MAKE HER STOP! MAKE HER STOP!"

Libby throws Lola.

"Libby's so strong." Leni commented. Lola goes through an open window.

"She scores!" Lynn cheered. The others kids, except Lisa, also cheered.

* * *

Lana is sobbing into Lisa's shirt as Lola, who has a bandage on her head, loads bags onto a bus. Libby was forced to leave the neighborhood.

"Who's gonna taste my mud pies, or go trash diving with me?" Lana whined. "Who's gonna help me unclog the toilet?"

"Um...time heals all wounds, Lana." Lisa patted her sister on the back.

"And good riddance!" Lola yelled at Libby. "Yeah Libby! Take this junk with you!" She closes the luggage compartment. "I'll miss you like a hernia."

The bus starts up and drives off. The Louds wave and say their goodbyes before walking off.

"This stinks, dudes." Luna said dispirited.

"Yeah, and she didn't even get to listen to my poems." Lucy said.

"So many things left unsaid." Lincoln lamented.

"Libby said her work here was done." Lana said.

"Can we give it a rest already?" Lisa said exasperated.

"Oh Lana?" Lola said.

"Apparently not."

Lola is miming a slingshot. "Guess what I've got?"

"Hmm?"

"It's an invisible potato in an invisible slingshot."

"Wait, what are you gonna do with that?"

"Don't blink!" Lola lets go, sending Lana into fields of pain.


	38. Chapter 38: 3 Squares and a Loud

**A parody of the episode: 3 Squares and an Ed**

* * *

At Clyde's house, Rusty looks ahead, bored. Clyde pops out behind him, a huge grin spread across his face and he's wearing a helmet.

"Try to contain yourself, Rusty! The adrenaline of irreverence can be quite overwhelming!" He speaks with a quieter voice. "We're so bad."

"What are you giving me here, laundry chutes?" Rusty indicates the three laundry chutes in front of him.

"Very good Rusty! But look closely. One is Dad's chute (Harold), one is my other dad's chute (Howard), and last but not least, my chute. Rusty, my chute has been secretly treated with a silicone lubricant making it the fastest slide to any basement, anywhere!"

"For real?"

"Now for safety reasons, I insist you use this pillow, Rusty. Better safe than sorry." While Clyde's back is turned, Rusty wiggles his way into Clyde's chute. He starts to slide.

"Yee-haw!" The chute slams shut, and Clyde turns around, clutching a pillow. "WOOHOOHOOHOO!"

As Rusty falls, his skin peels off like puzzle pieces.

"Rusty, get back up here and get your pillow!" Clyde ordered. The sound of Rusty landing is heard. He lands in the basement.

"Bottom floor! Dryer lint, paint cans, lonely socks and mildew!"

Clyde lands at the bottom of Howard's chute.

"And spiders!" Clyde said.

"You have spiders down here?" Rusty said, a little freaked out.

"Don't worry, we keep them in jars." Clyde walked over to a table with jars. "Basements make an excellent home for spiders, and Mildred is ready for her weekly examination. Aren't you, Mildred?"

Rusty looks around bored as Clyde talks to Mildred. "Did you just wink at me? Yes you did."

A creaking sound is heard and Clyde hears a recorded video from an opened closet. The video shows his pet cats, Nepurrtiti and Cleopawtra, using the litter box in the living room.

"Ok, I didn't need to see that." Rusty said.

Clyde rushes over. "Don't touch that Rusty!" He turns off the camera. "Well, I see you've stumbled upon the security camera."

"Hey, is that a volcano?" Rusty goes over to a closet and hauls out a fake volcano.

"Rusty, wait! That's a school project!"

"How's it work? Does something shoot out of here? Well, where do you plug it in?" Rusty steps on a button at the base. The volcano turns on and sucks Rusty's head into it. Rusty strains. "Clyde!"

His head gets sucked in. Clyde giggles at this.

"A comedian, huh?" Rusty rears back with the volcano stuck to his head, shouting angry sumo gibberish.

"Oh dear!" Clyde runs away. Rusty slams his head down, and the volcano impacts where Clyde is standing, smashing it. Rusty, with the volcano off his head, chases Clyde outside.

"Wait til I get my hands on you!"

Clyde runs all the way to Lincoln's house. "Lincoln, help!" He pulls to a stop in front of a barricade of pots and pans. Rusty leaped at Clyde. "Gotcha!"

He tackles Clyde, sending Clyde and himself over the wire and setting off the alarm. The Loud twins showed up in police uniform.

"Free mister!" Lola ordered, as she's holding up a rifle. "Put your hands up where I can see 'em!"

Rusty pushed the rifle away. "Get that stupid thing outta my face, Lola."

Lola brings the end of the gun down on Rusty's head. "Take a hike, Rusty!

Nobody sees our brother because he's been grounded."

Rusty chuckles. "This I gotta see. Coming, Clyde?"

Lola stops him. "Halt! No visitors!"

"Don't make me have to use this!" Lana said to a docile Clyde, putting a carved wooden rifle in Clyde's ribs and giggled. "Kidding. It's a hunk of wood, Clyde."

Clyde lowered the barrel with his finger. "It's all fun and games till someone gets a sliver, Lana."

"Guard!" Lola called her sister and Lana retreated to her post. "Atten-SHUN! Ready, and...March!" They march in front of the front door. "Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!"

"Oh well, Clyde. Lincoln will have to learn his lesson." Rusty said, seemingly giving up. "Let's go before I start to cry. I'll miss our ol buddy."

As he rounds the corner of the house, he grins. Lana and Lola are marching in front of their post. Then a big four leaf clover pops out of a bush. Lana notices this and stops marching. The clover is yanked back into the bush.

"Lola, did you see that?"

"What is it, Lana?"

"There's something in the bushes!"

"Really?" Lola pushed Lana forward. "I guess you better check it out, private. Move it!"

Zach jumps out of the bushes dressed like a leprechaun. "Howdy Howdy Howdy! If you catch me I'll give you me pot of gold!"

"A leprechaun!" Lana said surprised. "I've always wanted to meet one!"

"Catch me and I'll give you me pot of gold!" Zach ran off and Lana chased after him.

"I gotcha, you little scamp!"

"Lana, wait! You get back here!" Lola called. Her sister doesn't come back. "Lana?" She decided to join Lana. "Hey, wait for me!"

Clyde and Rusty peel out from the other side of the house.

"What'd I tell ya?" Rusty said to Clyde. "Zach will do anything for free bubblegum."

"I'm not sure about this, Rusty. Lincoln's parents will surely tell our parents. Haven't you ever heard of consequential punishment? It's the parental ring."

"Fine. If that's how you feel, I'll let Lincoln know you were too busy to help him in his time of need. Don't worry about it." Rusty heads to the back of the house, smirking.

"The old guilt route, huh Rusty? Works every time." Clyde follows his friend.

* * *

In his room, Lincoln is staring at a picture of his comic books and action figures. He lowers the photograph, revealing that his comic books and action figures are missing.

"It's not fair." Lincoln said sadly as he's lying on his bed, not really doing anything. Then the door opens. Clyde and Rusty peek in.

"Hey Lincoln." Clyde greeted.

"Clyde! Rusty!" He pulls them into the room and hugs them tightly. "Boy, am I glad to see you guys!"

"Yeah, we heard you got grounded." Rusty said. Lincoln lets go of them.

"What did you do?" Clyde asked Lincoln.

Lincoln hesitated. "Well, uh, I...bought a playboy magazine."

Rusty and Clyde gasped.

"Lincoln, you naughty boy." Rusty said surprised.

"My dads would've shaved my hair off if they caught me with a magazine like that." Clyde commented.

"I saw some older teens reading them, and I got curious." Lincoln explained. "But I'd appreciate it if you guys didn't tell anyone else about this."

"Ok, we won't." Clyde said.

"We're busting you out, Lincoln." Rusty said.

"But I've been grounded, guys. I've been a bad boy."

"So be a good boy. Follow us."

"I can't do it! My sisters will find out and they'll tell Mom! And I'll be grounded even longer!"

Rusty thinks. "I know how to get Lincoln out of here so even he won't know that he's missing."

* * *

Zach and Lana are by a cardboard rainbow.

"It's the end of the rainbow, leprechaun." Lana said. "Hand over that pot of gold."

"Nope." Zach replied. "Up to the fake rainbow, that's all you get for one handful, pal." He pulls off his fake beard, giggles, and leaves.

Lana was disappointed. "My fantasy! Crushed by an imp."

Lola catches up to Lana and grabs her. "Back to your post!"

* * *

A rope is tied to Lincoln's bed. The rest of the rope is dangling outside Lincoln's window.

"Good idea, Rusty." Lincoln commented.

"Thanks. Hurry it up, Clyde!"

"All right, Rusty." Clyde put a vacuum cleaner on Lincoln's bed, which was wearing one of Lincoln's pants. He slips one of Lincoln's shirts over the body and adds Lynn's volleyball and a mop rag on top. "There we go! A rather suitable substitute for Lincoln's head, don't you think? Yet, it feels unfinished. Wanting."

"Hey McBride, we haven't got all day!" Rusty said.

"Clyde, cover the body with a blanket." Lincoln advised.

"Good thinking."

"Alright Lincoln, climb out the window!" Rusty ordered. Lincoln begins climbing out.

"That's it!" Clyde positions a book in front of the Lincoln statue. "Hmm…"

"Will you hurry up?" Rusty grabbed Clyde. Lincoln, Clyde, and Rusty climbed down to the side of the house.

"Ah, fresh air." Lincoln sniffed the air.

"It feels good to be back on the outside, doesn't it Lincoln?" Rusty said.

"Wait, what if the twins catch me?" Lincoln runs to the front door. Rusty goes after him.

"Lincoln, come on!"

Clyde sees the twins heading back to the house. "Guys, the twins are coming!"

They enter the house.

"Has this door been open the whole time?" Clyde wondered. Lincoln just shrugged.

"I'll go check on Lincoln." Lola's voice was heard.

"Quick! Upstairs!" Lincoln ordered. The three boys ran upstairs into Lincoln's room as Lola came in.

"Hmm...I heard something." Lola went upstairs and looked in Lincoln's room, peering in at the Lincoln statue. "You keep it down in there, Lincoln."

She leaves. Lincoln and his friends are seen under the bed and they come out.

"Those two squirts in blue haven't a clue." Rusty said.

"But now we're trapped with Lincoln, Rusty!" Clyde said.

"Just follow my lead!" Rusty said, agitated. He leaves the room first, as the others follow. "Ok boys, all we have to do is go down the-" Rusty turns around to notice a metal wall blocking the way downstairs. "Why is there a wall on top of the stairs!?"

"My parents must've installed it there because I'm grounded." Lincoln mentioned.

"That's disturbing." Clyde said.

"We'll have to find another way out." Rusty said.

"But I'm grounded, Rusty!"

"Yeah, Yeah. We heard it a million times. I think I've got an idea."

Then Lola opens the front door as the twins enter the house.

"Don't worry Lana, you'll be okay. Slivers aren't fun, are they? You really have to be careful with wooden rifles." Lana is seen with a sliver on her thumb. "Let's go find some tweezers and poke and prod and wiggle it around until it falls off."

Then Lola hears a noise. "What was that?"

"What?" Lana listens. "You work too hard, Lola. You should take a coffee break."

"We're never even drank coffee. C'mon, let's go find those tweezers." They walk off.

Upstairs, Rusty had tried to try to break the wall down by kicking it.

"Ok, kicking the wall down wasn't a good idea." He said.

"Rusty, we almost got caught!" Clyde said. "I say we wait in Lori and Leni's room until we can find a way out. Plus, it smells like perfume in there."

The three boys go to the eldest sisters room.

"We might get caught, guys." Lincoln said worried.

After a moment of thought, Rusty found a way to escape. "Quick, the window!" He runs into Lori and Leni's closed window.

"I believe a solution to all this can be solved with a little brainpower, Rusty." Clyde assured.

Rusty's voice was muffled. "I'm game."

* * *

The twins head over to Lincoln's room as Lana has a meal for their brother. Lola bangs on the door. "Hey Lincoln, it's time for dinner!"

"A peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich? How can he eat this?" Lana said.

Lola opened the door. "I said it's time for dinner, Lincoln! So stop reading your little book." Then she realized what's wrong. "Book?"

Lola storms into the room and goes after Lincoln. "Where'd you get that book, Lincoln?"

Lola tussles with the Lincoln dummy and the volleyball falls off.

Lana looked frightened. "Did Lincoln's head just fall off?!"

Lola looks at the volleyball angrily. "LINCOLN!"

Lola's voice could be heard from outside. In Lori and Leni's room, the boys hear the loud call as Clyde is making something.

"Lola knows, guys!" Lincoln panicked.

"Duh Lincoln, we heard her." Rusty said. "Keep your pants on." Lincoln's pants are down around his ankles. "No seriously, keep your pants on, Lincoln."

Lana runs into the front yard, whistle blasting. Lola runs across the hall, also tweeting on her whistle. Rusty opens the window and tethers out a giant kite. "Houston, we have liftoff."

Lincoln was still worried. "Let me remind you that I am-"

"Free as a bird, Lincoln!" Rusty grabbed Lincoln, and the kite tows the boys out the window. Lola bursted through the door just as the boys escaped the house.

"Not good, not good!" Clyde panicked.

"Go baby, go!" Rusty was holding onto the kite as Clyde and Lincoln hung onto Rusty. Unfortunately, the kite ran out of string and the boys are left hanging in midair.

"Oh, come on." Clyde said, annoyed. The boys fall down screaming, and land right on Lana. Lana is crushed into a hole. A dazed Lincoln comes out of the hole, along with a dazed Rusty and Clyde, and Lana who has dirt in her mouth. Lola rushed over.

"Lana, are you okay?"

"Well, I got dirt in my mouth but I don't mind."

Lola speaks to her brother, sweetly at first. "Guess what, big brother? I'M TELLING MOM!"

"Remember that parental ring, Rusty?" Clyde said.

Rusty gets up. "Oh great, now we're gonna get it."

* * *

In Clyde's room, Clyde gets a call on his walkie talkie. He puts down the book he's reading and goes over to it. He speaks into the walkie talkie.

"Clyde McBride here. Over."

Rusty is seen speaking into a walkie talkie in his room. "Hey, does this stupid thing work?"

"Roger. You need to say over when you're done speaking, Rusty. Over."

"This stinks! I got grounded forever. Over."

"Three days for me, Rusty. A little quality time with my cats and-"

"Three days? What makes you so special?! Over."

Then Lincoln is seen in his room, talking through his walkie talkie. "Hello? Clyde, can you hear me?"

"Lincoln?" Clyde said. "Over."

"Lincoln?" Rusty said. Suddenly, all three boys were zapped.

"Hello?" Rusty moaned.

"Ouch, over." Clyde groaned.

"What just happened?" Lincoln said, dazed.

The boys got zapped again.

"Must be a party line." Clyde gets zapped again.

"Oh, my aching-" Rusty gets zapped again.

"This isn't funny." Lincoln gets zapped again. Outside Lincoln's room, Lola is using a "Walkie Talkie Zapper", which was invented by Lisa. It's basically used to zap someone else who's using a real walkie talkie.

"This walkie talkie zapper is Lisa's funnest invention." Lola said. She pushed a button on the zapper remote and zapped the boys again.

"I want a turn." Lana pushes the button.

Zap!

They chuckle. Lola pressed the button.

Zap!

Lana pushed the button.

Zap!

Lola pushed the button.

Zap!


End file.
